


Genus: Nephila (Weave the Prettiest Webs)

by Cacoethes (EvenEcho)



Series: Genus: Nephila [1]
Category: Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: (Spoiler: it's his android - AI - and robot children), Absent Jim Rhodes for Now, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Dark, And not compliant with anything after Civil War, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Assassin Tony Stark, Assassination, BAMF Pepper Potts, Bucky Barnes's Metal Arm, Dark Tony Stark, Department X, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Sexual Content, Extremis Pepper Potts, Extremis Tony Stark, F/F, F/M, Gay Sex, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Howard Stark's Bad Parenting, Hurt/Comfort, I'm abusing these tags sorry not sorry, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, It's none of the precious ones, Its one of the people we don't like too much, Lesbian Sex, M/M, Maria Stark's A+ Parenting, Maria Stark's Bad Parenting, Minor Character Death, Multi, Murder, Murder Kink, Natasha Romanov & Tony Stark Friendship, Natasha Romanov Feels, Natasha Romanov Has Issues, Natasha Romanov Is Not A Robot, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Natasha Romanov Needs a Hug, No Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, Not Clint Friendly, Not Iron Man 3 Compliant, Not Steve Friendly, Not Wanda Friendly, Oblivious Steve Rogers, Out of Character, POV Alternating, POV Third Person, Parent Tony Stark, Past Abuse, Past Brainwashing, Past Child Abuse, Past Underage Sex, People but not living organisms, Pepper Potts & Tony Stark Friendship, Please read the notes! I will separate super important and rants I promise!, Post-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Praise Kink, Protective Bucky Barnes, Protective Natasha Romanov, Protective Pepper Potts, Protective Tony Stark, Red Room (Marvel), Robot Feels, Somewhat, Sort Of, Tony Stark-centric, Tony's Kids are Not Human, Unrequited Love, What counts as a Minor character?, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes, but not between Tony and James!, except maybe Thor Ragnarok
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-19
Updated: 2019-08-13
Packaged: 2019-11-18 08:18:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 117,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18116906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EvenEcho/pseuds/Cacoethes
Summary: Natasha isn't sure what she has found, or what had happened, but something about Tony Stark was... not Stark-ish at all.She finds out early on, what exactly makes Tony different. Except, unlike the Black Widow, he weaves the most wondrous webs. Neither truly of the Wolf Spider Ops Program of Department X or the Black Widow Ops Program of the Red Room, he's something in between. He's Nephila, a genus rather than a specific spider, but he is truly the only Golden Silk Weaver to have ever come from the program.When you put two extremely crafty, and vengeful, arachnids together, you get both lots of laughs and lots of tears, but it's worth it. Especially with Virginia Potts being brought into the fold, and the spiders reaching out for their old mentor, The Winter Soldier, who now just goes by James.All of that with a hostile "team" fighting actively against the arachnids. One of which is the same arachnid that they seem to forget has them all trapped with the strongest of silk, and a group of 'social spiders' that could be classified as some of the deadliest people in the world... well, it seems he has the advantage against them. He also has no intention of letting anyone know until they are struck dead.





	1. Natasha's POV

**Author's Note:**

> **Important!:  
> \- POV Chages and will be marked each chapter. These POVs shouldn't be skipped, so if that's not your thing, then this probably isn't the best choice. Each Chapter will be, mostly with only a little recap if any, furthering the story, just in a different character's POV, not just rehashing the same chapter four times (that's boring!).  
> \- Slow Burn James/Tony --> There is mentioned sexual behavior in the beginning, but they are not acted upon until later.  
> \- Slower Burn Natasha/Pepper --> Pep's angry at Natasha for lying, while Tony and James were always sort of intrigued with each other. It's a bumpy road ahead.  
> \- I'm learning Russian, and I've yet to ask my beta/translate-helper to help with this one, so it's probably not always accurate. I'll try to correct any mistakes as soon as possible, but there will be significantly less non-English dialogue than in my other fanfiction ("Don't Worry(I'll Kill Them For Us").  
> \- This is EXTREMELY not Steve Rogers or Wanda Maximoff Friendly. I would like to say it's not 'bashing,' but at this point, it really is. I can't deny that anymore. Clint is also pretty bad, and I don't think he'll be redeeming himself anytime soon.  
> -Tony Stark was born in 1984, went to MIT in 1999/2000, and his parents died in 2001. He is 28 years old in The Avengers (2012), and 30 in Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014). He is, pretty much, the same age as Natasha. 
> 
> \---
> 
> Not-so-important:  
> So, I have another fanfiction, "Don't Worry (I'll Kill Them For Us)", but I'm sort of stuck on it, so I was just messing around with this idea, but I like it enough to have a few bits to tell, so here it is. I will hopefully still update that one up to, at least, chapter 16! However, I'm trying to figure out a way to continue from there, so I'm trying to take a break (to let the mind simmer or whatever) and do something a bit different (but it's really not, except James - Yakov, in the other - isn't the aggressor here). It may be on a short hiatus, but I WILL finish it! It may just take some time, sorry!  
> This, unlike the other fanfiction, may later include some heavy-ish, kinky smut, but I'll mark those chapters (maybe make them their own chapters, or a different story just for them? I'm not sure. I don't want to make people uncomfortable, but sex is sex, right?) or find a way to distinguish them so nobody feels uncomfortable with the sex scenes.  
> Also, this isn't just James/Tony, it is partially Pepper/Natasha, but James/Tony may be the main priority in this one (I could be convinced to write one focusing on Natasha/Pepper's relationship, but at the moment, I think I have things equally distributed - I like both pairings so much!), so hopefully I can make things seem 'equal,' but also take into account pacing, development, and other stuff to keep things from getting a bit slow or even boring (I can do that in my rants sometimes, if you didn't know). 
> 
> Anyway, thanks for reading this! Or even just clicking on it. C:

Natasha’s POV

Why exactly Steve thought she was somehow a tech genius just because she wasn’t from the forties, she had no idea. So, maybe she had given the impression that she could do anything, but had she not admitted to only  _ pretending _ ? Once the plan was made, she was left alone while the ‘heavy hitters’ went out to ‘do the actual work.’ She resented that, but it wasn’t uncommon for people to underestimate her despite there being a very good reason to overestimate her if anything. She could kill someone in two seconds max, and look back with apathy nearly unheard of in any of the other Black Widows. People seemed to forget her talents, even Fury, and underestimate her. That was fine, though, because she would use it against them along with everything else she had learned hurt them. 

She called Tony, because he had been kind enough to offer her a place despite her past ill intentions toward him. That was someone she could respect. His file, everything she had written or saw, she was beginning to doubt. He seemed almost as skilled as her when it came to hiding the truth, it was actually eerily similar. Perhaps she should research him more thoroughly after this is all over. Although she doubted she would find anything SHIELD hadn’t included in his file. 

“Come pick up a USB. JARVIS is on it, and when he’s there, I’m there, so I can get the files released securely, perhaps only to officials who need them for evidence… this is saving a lot of people, coming to me that is. Thank you for asking for help.” 

“You probably think I sound stupid,” she said. 

“Nonono! The smartest people know when to ask for help. Now, seriously, you can pick the USB up at the front desk so you can fix this thing quick and nobody ever needs to know.” 

“You don’t want any credit?” It was hard to believe that a ‘narcissist’ wouldn’t want to take the credit for his work. He made a sound that Natasha had never heard from Tony. It was a choked sound that communicated ‘why?’ better than the word could. 

“Uh, not really. You have this, you’re the hero here, I’m just… well, I don’t need credit, I just need to help the best I can.” 

“ _ Spasibo _ , Stark. (Thanks, Stark.)” 

“ _ Pozhaluysta _ (You’re welcome),” she paused for a second and pulled the phone away to look at it. He had disconnected already. Had she been talking to Tony Stark? No need to think too hard on it, perhaps he was just having one of  _ those _ days. 

She picked up the USB, winking at the cute brunette at the front desk who blushed and returned to reading the magazine hidden below her keyboard. This was the best decision, she knew it. Tony was right, though, the smartest people where the ones who knew when they needed help. 

*** 

Natasha handed the file on the the Winter Soldier to Steve with a heavy heart. She had been trained to not feel, but it was hard to give such private information to someone like Steve. Someone who would try to deny or invalidate the years of torture just to see what he wanted to see. She had grossly underestimated all the true flaws in Steve. She had pushed all the things she had read into her mind, refusing to take in what she had observed herself. How foolish of her… how had she missed something so important? Perhaps her skills were waning without active use, although she had been oberservative, she wasn’t doing a very good job lately, was she? She could say ‘it’s only human’ but she had been trained to be  _ better _ . The Headmistress would be so terribly disappointed in her. 

It was two months after the file was given to Steve when she decides to tell Tony about the issue with his parents. Steve had been aloof and generally indifferent towards Tony, and Stark had graciously offered a stranger housing and plenty of money just because Steve ‘asked’ (although it was more like a demand).. She had seen and heard Steve and Sam talking in whispers on the couch or in the corner of the kitchen. They would quickly change the subject of looking for the Soldier as soon as Tony walked in. Clint even seemed to be in on it. She was very disappointed with the man she thought was the closest thing to a friend she would ever get. Bruce, however, remained ignorant and mostly hid out in the lab Tony made specifically for him. 

This was an issue that required tact, she knew, but from this ‘new’ Tony she was seeing in little pieces here and there, giving the details to him unembellished would be easier for the both of them. That didn’t mean she was going to drop that bombshell and leave. She brought offerings of coffee and doughnuts to Tony’s workshop to promote Tony to be comfortable when she told him. People needed comfort when told about things like the murder of family members. People seemed to need comfort all the time. She excluded herself from this count. 

JARVIS let her in, only thanking her for bringing ‘sir’ sustenance after a three day binge of coffee and a single smoothie while he concentrated. He had been distant lately. He had made the Iron Legionaire weeks earlier, they had been employed almost as soon as they were finished, so what held his attention so thoroughly? She sat the coffee down beside his hand on his desk. He looked over at the paper cup then up her arm and at her. He smiled. 

“I see you’ve brought me goodies,” he narrowed his eyes at her, still smiling, “did something bad happen? Did Hawk-ass break a vent again? I swear he needs to be more gentle, they aren’t built for humans, and even my reinforced designs aren’t for his stupid ass. They’re  _ vents _ , for  _ air _ . He wiggles too much… I expected better from someone like him.” 

She pulled a stool up from the back table to the desk and sat down, pulling out some of the doughnuts and offering him two. He takes them and puts them on the desk before him. 

“Now I’m really nervous. What happened?” 

“I have some important information. It seemed unfair to keep you in the dark as the Captain and Wilson are doing. It is rather personal and painful, so I brought the food as a sort of comfort,” he didn’t say anything, but was now staring at her with narrowed brown eyes. They looked so much older than he was, and they were reading her just as she was reading him. She knew that look, she had seen it in the mirror often enough, but where had she learned…? There was no way… not him. “During the takedown of HYDRA, we were confronted by the Winter Soldier,” there was a spark of recognition in Tony’s eyes, but it was quickly hidden when he looked away and took a sip of his coffee. Why was he so hard to understand? How did he know about the Winter Soldier? 

“How did that work out for you?” He almost sounded like he was amused. As if it them getting their asses handed to them by the Winter Soldier was humorous. 

“I fought him briefly…” he bit his lips, likely to hide his smirk, but it wasn’t hidden well. Why allow her to see that, but not see anything else? Was he trying to send confusing information on purpose or was he just that all over the place? Did he even know he was giving away such information, or was it an accident? Better question, how did he know how to manipulate her observing skills? Not even the other Black Widows could do that. That brought the question:  _ who is Tony Stark? _ She admittedly had no idea now that she realized that he was hidden under the facade she had seen. He had tricked her and everyone else.  _ Her _ : the most skilled Widow. It was… actually sort of terrifying to know he had such an ability. 

“Mhmm. He hits hard. Break anything?” 

“Shot me in the shoulder… I think he missed on purpose,” he looked at her, almost uncaring to most, but there was understanding. How was that possible? They were so different it was painful sometimes, or at least that’s what she had been led to believe. 

“Hmm, interesting. Something bad happen with him involving Stark Industries? Was he using my old guns or something?” 

“No… I read his file,” Tony frowned and she didn’t know why. She waited for him to retort, make a wise quip, but he didn’t. “You must know he’s been hurt. He prob--” 

“What did he do?” 

“He killed Howard and Maria Stark.” 

There was silence. Natasha watched for any signs of sadness or anger in Tony, but he showed none. He sighed and popped the lid off his coffee. He ripped a doughnut in half and dipped an edge inside. He didn’t eat it, he just let it disintegrate in the coffee. He didn’t look at her, either, just stared at his coffee. 

“Is that everything?” He was so apathetic, it made her look caring. It was infuriating, because he should have been hurt at the very least. He was a drama queen, he should have been demanding attention… then again, from this ‘new’ Tony, she expected a more profound hurt, an emotional outburst and tears, but he gave her  _ nothing _ . 

“Why aren’t you upset?” He looked up at her and smirked before turning back to the desk with a dramatic sigh. 

“Thanks for telling me, by the way. It’s nice to finally  _ know _ ,” he was avoiding her question, and she knew he knew he was doing it. “I had my suspicions, but… well, let’s just say I was rather glad they were gone. Had it been a few years later, and they were still alive, well… a child who lost his entire family is supposed to be upset, I’m not a child, and they weren’t  _ my family _ , anyway. I’m sure you would  _ understand _ such a sentiment,  _ Black Widow _ ?” What was he telling her? Why had he said her name like that? What did that mean? Most importantly, why was he telling her now? He seemed to notice her thoughts because he looked at her again, over his shoulder, and offered one of those smiles he had in front of other people, but hardly on any other time. It was as ingenuine as the Tony Stark the world saw. “Look, the next time I see the Soldier, I’ll give him the biggest, messiest kiss I possibly can, because while I would’ve waited until I got the company completely and cut Stane out all together, it was easier his way… thank you for the refreshments, JARVIS would have made me go to the kitchen or something, and I don’t really want to see any of the others. You’re my favourite,” he winked, “but I really need to get back to work. Pepper will have my head if I don’t get a working prototype and she’s always so much nicer when she’s happy.” 

Natasha left him alone, trying to hide her confusion. She hadn’t bothered to take the doughnuts with her. She wasn’t hungry after everything she had just been told. She sat on the couch on the entire floor Tony had given to her. Was this a gift because of their team, was it an amends, was it an apology, was it genuine care? She had done things to him that she’s not proud of, but back then, he hadn’t been whoever he’s showing her now. 

She thought about family. She never had one, and she never really wanted one. Unlike Tony, she was too young to have remembered any of her family, and by the time she was eleven, family was a weakness she didn’t care about anyway. The closest thing to a ‘family’ she had was the Avengers, and before that it had been the Winter Soldier, the one who taught her everything she had ever needed to know to protect herself and kill others as easily as possible. 

It took her a week to ponder and figure out what Tony had told her, and honestly, she still didn’t think she had figured it out. All the possibilities she had come up with were all impossibilities that would have been noticed or in Tony’s file. According to his file he had been a genius, but disliked his father. He could be heard playing piano, according to the staff that worked at the manor, often. However, as a child, he also spent time with his mother, learning with her and his tutor, a reputable private tutor with all the credentials and information to back all of that information up. Then he went to college at sixteen. From sixteen on, he had been the Tony Stark the public had known. The loud, charming, genius who thought too highly of himself. Then he was captured, built the Iron Man suit, shutdown the weapon department and killed Stane. Then she had met him. Everything she had been briefed on before she was sent in as Natalie had seemed true. He played that persona well. She know  _ knew _ he only  _ played _ into that ‘person’ because that Tony Stark, was not the Tony Stark that has spoken with her now. She doubted anyone knew the ‘real’ Tony Stark. Which only made him unreliable, because what was the truth and what was part of some disguise he hid behind… she needed to know  _ what _ he was hiding from to find out  _ who _ he was. Those things tended to go hand in hand. 

After that week of contemplation, she went to Tony, and found him in his penthouse this time. He was spread out on the sofa and was chit chatting with JARVIS about how to ‘handle’ Fury, or was that exactly what he wanted her to hear? She was quiet, the enhanced ears of Captain America couldn’t hear her, but he noticed. 

“Hello Tasha. You’re being extra stealthy,” she could hear the smile in his voice, “need something?” 

“I want to talk to you about the Winter Soldier,” he quickly sat up and look at her over the back of the couch. He followed her movements until she rounded the couch. “May I sit?” 

“Sure,” he moved his legs off the couch and she took their place. “What about him has you interested?” 

“How did you know him?” 

“Well, how did I not? I can get into any intelligence agency I want, and what they know, I know.” 

“Did you know about HYDRA in SHIELD?” He didn’t respond. “Did you know?” She asked, hoping that with adding the extra force to her voice, she could force him to admit guilt or give her a straight answer at the very least. He shrugged. 

“They were good at hiding things, I had all the pieces, and so did everyone really, but only so much of it was legally admissible, and how was I supposed to tell all you  _ idiotically loyal  _ SHIELD agents that you were actually working for crazy people? Capsicle would likely insult me or something and then you and Clint would be mad and ignore me… it was better you found out on your own.” 

“You knew about your parents?” 

“I think I already told you about that. I’ll tell you again, though, I  _ love  _ talking. I may have found references to their murder, but I never found any reputable documentation of it, so I just let everyone think I didn’t know any different than what I was told. The world believes what they are fed, so if nobody else would ever questioned their reality and send them scrambling to make sense of things on their own, why wouldn’t they believe the easiest truths, even if those truths aren’t true at all?” 

“Why are you telling me these things?” He smiled and it made her frustrated. This wasn’t some game, this was important. She could just force him to tell her, but something told her that attacking him was a bad idea. Mostly that he gave her things and provided for her as well as had an AI protecting him. Also, he could call an Iron Man suit at anytime and easily win against her. She wasn’t stupid enough to go against Iron Man, not when he really wanted to do damage. She had seen what he had done to the Ten Rings, what he had done to Stane, and Vanko. No, he was dangerous, but nobody else seemed to take that danger seriously because Tony was ‘just Tony.’ An unenhanced human who ‘only cares for himself,’ so of course he would never attack. Nobody considered that he was a compact tank. Steve and the others who thought Tony a weakling were idiots, but she never said she was working with the smartest bunch, unless she counted Stark and Banner. Even Clint could be a dumbass on his best days. 

“Maybe I don’t want to have to keep pretending, or maybe this is my way of extending an olive branch. Let’s just say I’ve noticed some things that I’m not happy with, and you’re my best ally. I love Brucie-Bear to death, but… well, you and I would work much better than me and Hulk, and considering the Hulk likes me, that’s saying a lot.” 

“I’m an assassin and spy, I don’t work well with others.” 

“According to you, neither do I… that’s not entirely true, though, is it? You and Barton worked very well together for a long time, and he was, what? Maybe an eighth as talented as you? I’m not saying I’m some great success, but I am…  _ better _ . Call it my narcissism, but I am, and it would be nice to have you in my corner because the others don’t like me, or are nervous around me. Do I look scary to you?” 

“You’re not scary,” she felt small and she hated it. How did he know? What would he know? He didn’t… know what she could do. Nobody could ever know. He couldn’t know what it felt like to do what she did, and he certainly wasn’t capable of the bad things she’s done. Compared to her, he looks like a saint. “About the Soldier?” 

“Yes, let’s talk about him. I know where’s he’s been hiding out, or where he’s been travelling and running from. Steve’s pushing him further and further away every time he thinks he gets any closer. There’s a ‘two step’ saying, but whatever, ya know? The Soldier knows how to hide, he can do anything that is required of him, but… well, he can’t hide from _ me _ . That’s very difficult to do, avoid me, I mean. He’s in Hong Kong right now, and I have a good idea where he’s hiding next, and then where he’ll run after that. He has a…  _ pattern _ , I guess.” 

“How is he avoiding HYDRA?” 

“I’m assisting. Indirectly, of course. I’m also very frustrated with them at the moment, and while I don’t tend to pick sides, they chose the wrong side and now I’m going to destroy them. It’ll be a great weekend get-away, dontcha think?” He laughed and waved his hand, “Really though, they’re dead and don’t even know it yet. So adorable how they try to regroup. Sort of offensive where they’ve taken their newest base considering that the Russians were the ones who initially taught and trained the Winter Soldier who they  _ abused _ .” 

“... can you keep me updated on him?” 

“Sure. I also got everything ready if you wanna go storm HYDRA’s Sokovian base. We can gather the team and we can be there in, eh, ten-ish hours,” his timing was perfect, uncomfortably so. Thor had been in town for a few days now, the entire team was there. He had to have planned it, right? Coincidences weren’t real, were they?

They gathered the Avengers, and went on as they usually did. Tony seemed to pretend as though he had never even revealed anything to Natasha, or that he knew that Steve had been keeping important things from him or secretly searching for the Soldier while under the belief that the Soldier killed Tony’s parents. Tony seemed oblivious and completely  _ normal _ , when he was so different when he was just with Natasha. She needed to know more, but at this point, she could only watch. This time, however, she wouldn’t think anything she’s been told is the truth. With that logic, all those conclusions that she had thought impossible became legitimate possibilities. Most of them, she knew made Tony all the more dangerous, and that she wasn’t with some arrogant playboy in a fancy suit, but she was with a predator like herself. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad, but then again, new Tony was unpredictable and only seemed to be telling her  _ enough _ , but never  _ all _ . 

“You’d make a wonderful spy,” she whispered to Tony once they were on the ground. He smirked at her. 

“You wouldn’t know the half of it,” he said with a cocky half-smile. His faceplate slammed shut and he shot into the air seconds later, rising above the trees and out of her sight. Thankfully, Thor was with him, so maybe he wouldn’t show his ‘true colours’ while the prince was around. After all he seemed to only want her to know about this side of him. 

He was a dangerous enemy as Tony Stark, but a threat beyond comprehensive danger if anything she was thinking is true. The combination of honed skills and genius intellect made anyone scary, but to have power, money, and public-support behind it only made it all the more terrifying. 


	2. Tony's POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony's POV 
> 
> Ultron, understanding, and finding the Soldier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, there is some sexual references, but no actual acts of anything sexual. 
> 
> Also, I'm adding tags I think. Specifically because Tony and Nat are pretty ooc, but how would they react when put in these situations? I don't know, but I don't feel like they're very 'in character' like the movies. Then again, nothing against the MCU, but I don't like you anymore Mr. MCU. You fucked us over and I don't like it! So, yeah. I can rant about my new rage toward the MCU at a later date (but be aware, it may happen). 
> 
> Anyway, I think these chapters are shorter than my other fic, but there's more of them likely to be made, and therefore a longer overall story, but I don't know, yet. The other story is still getting at me, but still, it's a blank up in my brain. 
> 
> I decided I will try and update chapters every Tuesday.

Tony’s POV

Barton’s farmhouse was quaint, peaceful. Tony would have typically enjoyed such serenity, but the lecture from the good Captain made him furious, far too furious to enjoy the trees. He had fixed the tractor thirty minutes before he had sat down on a bale of hay. Thirty minutes after sitting, Natasha arrived silently and sat beside him. At least she was there, and hopefully she wasn’t as mad at him as she seemed when she was acting in front of Steve and Barton. It wasn’t entirely his fault, but, of course, he’s always the bad guy. He wished he could show them exactly how bad he was, become the villain they all seemed to think he was. If he ever did become a villain, he was sure the Avengers would be the first to try and stop him, and he was positive that they would be the first slaughtered by his hand as examples. He held his face in his hands. He felt Natasha’s hand touch his shoulder and then rest against his shoulder blade. He didn’t even push her away, nor did he flirt. He just enjoyed the comfort she provided. 

“I didn’t make Ultron on my own,” he said. 

“I know,” he didn’t protest when she pulled him against her side. It was not a move he would have associated with a Black Widow, but she was different just like he was. “But you and I are both aware that they will never believe the truth because it’s so easy to make you the villain.” 

“I’m fully aware, and I hate it just as much.” 

“I found  _ it _ , by the way,” he sighed, hopefully she could recognize it was of relief. “I would have never of guessed. You were supposedly coddled by your mother and constantly butting heads with Howard. Perhaps it was because I didn’t know exactly how terrible Howard was. Steve praises him as if he were a god.” 

“He was a bastard who objectified me and sold me for information before I could even make full sentences. But Steve would never believe it. Even if he rose from the grave and told Cap himself. He can see the good in anybody who’s not me, and I don’t care anymore, but I did and that’s why Ultron was built. I wanted to keep all of you safe, but one spider is definitely not enough, and two would only cause chaos, especially when we were both the best of our brood,” he laughed but it sounded weak even to his own ears. 

“Wolf Spider?” 

“Not me. That was Niko. I was Nephila, well, I  _ am  _ Nephila. Howard wanted weapons, and I was the least valuable thing he could think of that was still not entirely useless. So, when I was two, I was sent to the Department X facility in Canada. The Wolf Spider program ended when I was fifteen and at sixteen I was sent to MIT. As soon as I was in the public eye, it was easy to be everything that I wasn’t, and lying is as easy as breathing no matter who is being lied to. Iron Man was a coincidence, but he hid the fact that I could do things other humans couldn’t physically, and the first few suits were limiting enough to keep my training hidden. I had enough time to practice, so it’s easy… he’s so easy, because he’s so… he’s a hero and he can’t be hurt, but I’m just as fucked up as the rest of us,” he wasn’t going to cry, but he really wanted to. He hadn’t cried sincerely since he was a toddler, but he could cry on cue if it was needed. Now, it was just wanting to not cry, because it was true. He was hurt and he was broken, and everyone seemed to think he couldn’t be hurt, but he did and he was. He was a weapon, but weapons could malfunction, and weapons could break. He had been broken long ago and now he was trying to fix it while also trying to avoid being smashed even more. 

“You do not want to let them know? Ever?” 

“No. If they knew I wasn’t just a fuck-up genius, but also a fuck-up assassin, it will only get worse…” he had already lost JARVIS, Natasha was the next chance he had to be understood. They were built, broken, and reborn under the same command. There were three people in the world he knew he could trust, even if others couldn’t, because believe it or not, it was easier to have each others backs, and stab everyone else’s. Being a spy was difficult, and connections were even harder, but when you come from similar circumstance, there is an understanding and trust. At least he hoped Natasha had that bit of trust she was willing to allow him. He had messed up, but everyone else had too. 

“They won’t learn it from me, then,” Tony wasn’t sure how he felt about her deadly fingers in his hair, but considering his hands were on her breakable waist, he would survive. He was very pleased when it didn’t result in a fight, and they left only to fix the Ultron mess. 

During the battle of Sokovia, he got the most peculiar look from Natasha, but then again, it was only curious because he never thought he would see it in earnest. Especially not from someone who seemed to hate him, and not so soon after making amends either. A look of trust, and a look of ‘we go down together or not at all.’ He only hoped she was being as sincere as he read, because at heart he was an emotional guy, and he needed connections. 

***

Despite his pleading, almost getting on his knees and begging, that Maximoff not stay with the Avengers. He was refused because she was a hero, and he had created Ultron. The worst part is that nobody seemed to have a problem with her. Bruce had left, abandoned him, and Natasha came to his lab in the new Avengers Compound to give updates on the witch, but the others didn’t care. Even Vision, who was essentially his child like FRIDAY, DUM-E, and U, didn’t seem to have an issue with the woman who technically started it all. It left him bitter, but that wasn’t terrible. He could lessen the bitterness with busying himself with something he enjoyed and ignore the problem entirely. Ignore  _ Maximoff _ entirely. 

What was terrible, though, was when he said he was going out, and Steve told him  _ no _ . He had tried to get through the door, but Steve physically restrained him and told him to go back to the lab, and that he would get whatever he needed. He was, apparently, on ‘house arrest’ in his own goddamn house by people who had no legal sway over him at all. He could have knocked Steve down long enough to get out of his house, he was more enhanced than anyone could ever imagine since he wasn’t a wall of muscle or six and a half feet tall, but then he would alert everyone to the fact he wasn’t ‘useless’ without his suit. Funny how they forget who was paying for all their luxurious lives, or who was gracious enough to take care of all of them after the shitshow that was the Ultron fiasco and Sokovia. A mess that they seemed to think made them entitled to him as repayment for his ‘crimes.’ They had a whole other thing coming… just not then. He wasn’t yet ready. Too many things to be done. He had seen absolute evil, and these people weren’t it, they were just… two or so ranks below that. They were safe, for now. 

Then, not too soon after Steve had forced him to stay in the house to limit his ‘dangerous ideas’ to people who could ‘handle’ them (and him, apparently), Steve started ignoring his presence. Not blatantly at first, but Steve often left or got very outwardly angry whenever Tony went into a room that he was occupying. A room in  _ his house _ ! Maybe the only thing keeping his calm is the fact he could talk with FRIDAY, help her learn because fuck Steve and his ‘rules’ about her limits, and sit with Natasha and watch movies or play with DUM-E while U beeped excitedly and then joined their eternal game of fetch. Natasha had even spent a ‘ladies night’ with U and FRIDAY. They kicked him out of the lab, with a smile and promise to have a ladies night with him too next time, and then watched a variety of 80’s films. FRIDAY now knew how to properly use curse words (and she used them openly in Russian, mostly on Steve and Wanda who seemed to demand things from her as if she were a servant), and Natasha had painted U’s claw blue, with a small nail polish brush and actual nail polish, because U’s ‘favourite colour’ was blue. How Natasha knew that, he had no idea, but it was nice to know. He made sure to redecorate U’s charging station, despite her not being able to actually see it as a human would, in seven shades of blue and little stars in glow-in-the-dark paint because she was still a teenager (would always be a teenager, probably) and teenagers liked glow-in-the-dark things, according to Natasha. (Where she got her information, he wasn’t sure, but he also didn’t want to argue because he had no idea what kids liked in general.) 

Because the other Avengers were being total douchebags, Tony hired people to help build onto his wing of the residential area, and he installed locks on the door to get into the main room that led to the rest of the ‘house.’ It was like a comfy manor build into a less-comfy apartment complex. He, Natasha, and the kids seemed to enjoy it (and if he happened to have caught Natasha having FRIDAY giver her a measure on her back-flip/jump hybrids off the second story railing, nobody else needed to know).

Natasha came in a few months after Ultron, and she was angry in that silent way that she got. He stopped drawing possible designs of a new gadget (he needed it to be compact and flexible, but also strong and durable, it was a mess) and focused on her. She was silent while she paced beside his desk for a few minutes. He was tempted to speak first, but then she looked at him. 

“We should get the Soldier,” admittedly, that is not what he expected her to say. 

“What?” 

“We should bring the Soldier here. Keep him in your wing, away from the others, but… you need company, and I need company, and it will hurt Steve to know that the Soldier has been with us the entire time and he was  _ too stupid _ and  _ too petty _ to even find out.” 

“Oh. What did Steve do this time?” Tony turned back to his desk, pulling up his holoscreen and searching through the files he had on the Winter Soldier as well as the locations he had been keeping track of. He found him in a few seconds, but let Natasha talk. 

Neither of them could talk about things with others before, Natasha even less so because he had JARVIS for a while, but over the past few months, he and Natasha had decided that they were probably the best they would find if they wanted a friend. It just so happened that Natasha was an awesome friend, and Tony tried very hard to be just as nice for Natasha. 

“He suggested I spend time with Wanda because she was feeling lonely and that because we were both women that we would be ‘great friends.’ When I told him that I didn’t want to spend time with her, he tried to guilt me into it by bringing up the ‘she’s just a child who needs friends’ and ‘she has been hurt like you, so you can relate with each other.’ Why he thinks he can just get into my life pisses me off. Nobody, bar you, could ever know what the Red Room was like. Oh, but that’s not all,  _ Wilson _ , who isn’t worth the space he occupies, agreed and said that Wanda was ‘sorta down because she was just  _ so _ lonely.’ Maybe if she didn’t spend all her time kissing their asses and fuelling their need to protect a damsel-in-distress and feel superior, she could find herself some shitty friends to match her…  _ shitty-shittiness _ ,” he smiled. That was definitely FRIDAY’s influence on Natasha. They affected each other equally. 

“Hmm, so we’re saying that Wilson and Cap are technically also shitty friends for Miss Shitty-Shittiness?” He laughed when she teasingly smacked his shoulder. “Seriously, though. You want to find the Soldier?” 

“You can sneak out, I know you’re more than capable, and I can fly so if anyone calls, you can hide and I can tell them I’m taking a break or something. I don’t know, they’ve been pissy ever since I started to spend time with you.” 

“Those jealous bastards. Have you heard their brainwashing theory yet? It’s amusing to say the least,” he smiled (despite the brainwashing theory was  _ not _ amusing. He hated it!. How  _ dare _ they think he would ever do something so cruel and inhumane to someone he  _ cared _ about.) and pointed at his computer, “that’s where he’s at. Let’s go?” 

“FRIDAY, can you cover for Tony?” 

“Of course! Shall I have the kids help make up another bedroom in your quarters, Da?” 

“Sure, baby girl, but keep an eye on them. I don’t want them to get hurt,” he paused because he knew that logically his bots couldn’t be ‘hurt’ by anything inanimate in the building and certainly nothing they could get into on his side of the building, but they were his  _ kids _ , so being a ‘Da’ sort of came with the territory of being cautious and overprotective. He was awfully overprotective nowadays, more so than when JARVIS had been around, likely because that pain of letting JARVIS get hurt still bothered him, and Natasha was secretly a mother hen, which was rubbing off on him apparently. For an ‘emotionless’ Black Widow, she was really caring (then again, he was also from a assassin/spy program and he was overly emotional at the best of times). Natasha, though, had the ability to switch that ‘care’ off like a light, and then she really could fit the bill of an ‘emotionless’ assassin. Thankfully, she didn’t mind it being ‘on’ when she spent time with him and his family. 

They landed on the roof two buildings over from the apartments he tracked the Winter Soldier to. Thankfully, the quinjet was able to be cloaked much like the SHIELD helicarriers (all designs of his own creation). Of course, it wasn’t super quiet, but it wasn’t nearly as loud as a normal jet, so only a few people noticed the sound.  

It felt odd to be back in a suit that wasn’t Armani or metal. Either way, he knew he was rocking the fingerless gloves, despite being a staple for thirteen year old emo kids, and the pants were tight but he knew his ass looked good. He asked Natasha more than enough. She hadn’t answered, but he knew she knew the truth. Scaling a wall wasn’t as easy as he remembered, but then again, he could usually just fly nowadays. Either way, he and Natasha had managed to get to the floor of the Soldier’s apartment (and wasn’t the Winter Soldier living in a typical apartment a weird thought?) and get in through the window. 

It looked empty, but there was a bed with messy blankets and a couch with blankets and a few empty paper cups on the fifth-hand coffee table. They waited on the couch. 

“This is cozy,” Tony was mostly excited to be outside, but he was also feeling giddy because he was meeting the Winter Soldier again, and the last few times he had, it wasn’t the best since the Winter Soldier beat him up, but it was also amazing because then he corrected him and no offense, but the Winter Soldier was hot, and that metal arm… well, Tony liked him because he was dangerous and he looked amazing being a badass, like Natasha. 

“You’re so weird,” she said. He hadn’t heard her say ‘weird’ without it being an insult to the Avengers, “This is hilarious. Do you wonder how he’ll react?” 

“He’ll feel threatened, but hopefully he remembers us enough to know we aren’t going to hurt him. Not like we could if we tried, amiright?” So maybe he chuckled at his own joke, because the Winter Soldier (despite training them) was still the superior fighter, but he stopped laughing when he heard footsteps, which meant that someone likely heard him laughing. There was silence, and then the handle squeaked as it turned and the door opened slowly. The Winter Soldier walked inside and pressed the door closed while pulling a gun from his behind him. 

“What do you want?” 

“Well, it’s nice to see you too. We’re Nephila and Black Widow and we are technically super heroes, but we missed you and noticed you were in the need for a lil’ help and we decided you could live with us, and we’ll make sure nobody finds you or can get to you. You’re a lone wolf that needs… other lone wolves…?” 

“Jesus Christ, I can’t believe that’s what you just said… how were you a spy?” 

“I was fifteen the last time I did this, and the Soldier’s been lied to for years, he probably wants it put straight! Also, he’s hot and I’m in a skin tight suit! You may be able to kick ass while wet as fuck, but, newsflash, I’ve got a dick, and boners are really hard to work around!” Tony cracked a smile, because ‘boners are really hard.’ He waited for a reaction, hopefully laughter. Instead, Natasha shook her head prompting Tony to look back to the Winter Soldier who was regarding him with squinted eyes and a confused scrunched nose. “So, that’s probably not the most tactful thing I’ve said, and I was more of any assassin anyway. They didn’t need me to spy ‘cause I could just hack into all the cameras for them.” 

Well, if he managed to do anything, he managed to confuse the Winter Soldier and make Natasha work extra hard to remain neutral. She hadn’t cracked even a small smile yet, but she would soon. 

“Speaking of boners, though, I really hope we don’t have to scale a wall again because that would be  _ really _ bad,” Natasha sighed in that way that meant she was exasperated but also amused, and the Winter Soldier slowly lowered the gun to his side. It was really his hardon that saved this mess because spying at that moment just didn’t seem to want to work, and like he said, he always was a better assassin. Then again, the best way to make people lower their barriers is to get them to underestimate you and to keep them relaxed. Humour is a great way to accomplish both things, so that’s what he did. 

The Winter Soldier didn’t move any closer. 

“I’m not the Winter Soldier anymore, I’m just… James,” he whispered, “Nephila and Black Widow… from  Department X?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What'd ya think?


	3. James' POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James is taken back to the Avengers Compound.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, there's mention of suicide here, but it was someone else, but it still affected Tony pretty badly. 
> 
> Also, since this POV is James', and he remembers Tony and Natasha from Dep. X, he still sees them as Anton and Natalia. So, in his POV, he will likely see them like that for a long time until he starts to separate that time from his time. 
> 
> Oh, and Steve is sort of a dick here, and Wanda is... well, she's talked about, but nothing too bad. But this is definitely not going to shine any nice lights on Steve, Clint, Wanda, Sam... many more in the future, but I'm not entirely sure yet.

James POV

It had been eight days since he stopped in Romania. He had lost the last trails, that he knew of, two countries ago in Thailand. He hadn’t seen or heard anything about anyone knowing where he was, so that was good. He was as safe as he could be for a while longer. He could only trust any place two weeks at most before he moved, but he really did like Romania, and he really didn’t want to leave, but he had to. It wasn’t safe otherwise.

He had started to remember things, but they were distant, like something he could look in on but didn’t feel any connection with. That was when he was called ‘Bucky’ and knew a boy named ‘Stevie.’ He had seen ‘Stevie’ before, recently, a year ago maybe, right before he escaped. He had other memories, the ones where it was him, when he was saved. He was defrosted in Canada, he was taught, and he thrived. He had taught others, too, but he couldn’t see their faces. He heard their names in the memories, but he was sure they were code names and not actual names. There were two _actual_ names that stood out. There was Natalia, who had been under him for extensive training. She was young, but she was the best in the Widow Ops. There was a boy from Wolf Spider Ops, and he remembered how he had been so keen on learning, he also remembered the coy looks when he would lose a fight and ask for more guidance. Everyone treated that boy far more gently than the others because he wasn’t just an assassin, he could build and modify weapons, hack and plant anything into any server they were aware of (and some they weren’t), and was generally a genius. Something they didn’t have enough of. He was Anton, but he remembered, vaguely, when Anton had been punished for doing something, but he forgot what.

Then HYDRA had him, and they took _everything_ away. All his memories from Department X, everything in the Red Room. Then he had the memories from working with _them_ , and there was nothing nice about those memories. He hadn’t any control then, and it made him uncomfortable even a year after being free.

He could pick up and leave at any moment, but he would rather get his bag first. However, he could live without it if he was in danger, if he needed to run fast. He heard the laughter from behind the door of his apartment. It was nice, he hadn’t heard genuine laughter in a long time, not from anybody from HYDRA. At least it hadn’t been like that laughter, sort of amused and nice. HYDRA was cruel in every action, and he had no doubts they enjoyed torturing him just because they could. Despite this nice sound from his apartment, he wasn’t going to trust anyone, especially since he didn’t know anyone or how they knew him.

The laughter stopped, and he realized it could be that they heard him. He hadn’t been hiding his footsteps, or his breathing, and he got a feeling, sinking and unpleasant, that these people were trained, and possibly sent to gather him. He wouldn’t attack on sight, only because he didn’t want to fight, he didn’t want to kill people anymore, he just wanted to sleep forever or be put down like an old dog. He was tired and it ran through every fibre of his being from the ends of his hair to the marrow of his bones. He opened the door, saw two people dressed in suits vaguely familiar, and then shut the door. He shut the door with his back as he pulled the handgun from the place it was tucked between the small of his back and the band of his jeans. He was sure these people could fight against a gun, but hopefully it wouldn’t require that. Also, he was sure he could fight them without a weapon if necessary, especially since he wasn’t aiming to kill. The gun was a threat, not a promise.

“What do you want?” It sounded weird coming from him. He hadn’t confronted or stumbled upon anyone who recognized him for a while, and he had no idea how these people even found him. He had been so good, he had done so well in hiding, taking every precaution he knew.

“Well, it’s nice to see you too. We’re Nephila and Black Widow and we are technically super heroes, but we missed you and noticed you were in the need for a lil’ help and we decided you could live with us, and we’ll make sure nobody finds you or can get to you. You’re a lone wolf that needs… other lone wolves…?” The names sounded familiar. He could place those names from his time with Department X and the Red Room. The boy must have been from the Wolf Spider Ops and the girl from Widow Ops, that made sense, then. It was likely they were the Natalia and Anton he had heard about. He would like to think it would take the best of the best to find him with all the precaution he had taken to get here, and from what he remembered, they had been the best of their ilk.

“Jesus Christ, I can’t believe that’s what you just said… how were you a spy?” The woman didn’t look away from him, but the man turned to look at her, as if he wasn’t scared of him (which was very weird in itself) and glared accusingly at the woman.

“I was fifteen the last time I did this, and the Soldier’s been lied to for years, he probably wants it put straight! Also, he’s hot and I’m in a skin tight suit! You may be able to kick ass while wet as fuck, but I’m a dude and boners are really hard to work around!” James regarded him with some curiosity. He wasn’t afraid, and he was talking about… sex? That was a rarity, but funny, and he liked that. He needed humour, smiling was a good thing. He was jealous of people who could smile at be happy with everything. Happiness was a gift in itself. “So, that’s probably not the most tactful thing I’ve said, and I was more of an assassin anyway. They didn’t need me to spy ‘cause I could just hack into all the cameras for them,” so that is how they found him. That must be Anton, then. Nephila, the genus of spiders known for weaving complex webs, he had been told that by… someone but he couldn’t remember who. Probably whoever gave these people their ‘names.’ He had been correct. If that was the best, Anton, then that must mean she was the counterpart. They wanted to help him?

“Speaking of boners, though, I really hope we don’t have to scale a wall again because that would be really bad,” he lowered the gun. They were no current threat to him, and it was more likely they attack him because they were threatened, than for some other reason. Otherwise, they would have already tried instead of talk. He wasn’t foolish enough to put the gun down, they were still unknown, for the most part, and they were assassins, and those proved to be inconsistent in the best cases.

He stayed put. They seemed content to just stare at him. They were observing him, he knew, but he was not a trained spy so he would likely not see as much, but he could still see more than the most. Perhaps it was unconventional to check, but the man, Nephila, did indeed keep shifting his legs and eventually just lowered his hands. He didn’t seem to notice him looking at him, and she didn’t react to when he looked at her. She was harsh looking, with thin eyebrows and a neutral frown. She looked like a woman to be scared of, but the man seemed to be friendly with her at least. They likely had memories he had yet to regain, so perhaps their relationships were different than what he expected? He was curious what he was missing because they both seemed more comfortable with him than he felt with them. The man even more so than the woman.

“I’m not the Winter Soldier anymore, I’m just… James,” he whispered, “Nephila and Black Widow… from Department X?”

“Alright then, James,” the woman spoke for the first time, directly to him. “We are indeed from Department X, and as my associate said, we would like to offer you a safe place to settle. Nephila is a very rich man, and he owns a very large compound among other things. There are others living in that compound, but he has his own private sector of the residential building that you would be staying in. Not only will he and I be there should you need assistance, but there is an Artificial Intelligence that can help you avoid the others of the compound. It is unlikely to be attacked because it houses the Avengers. Do you know who they are?”

“The blond, Stevie? He is an Avenger, and that one with wings. Falcon? Natalia is there as well, I shot her-- you. I shot you in the shoulder. You’re Natalia?”

“I am usually called Natasha or Black Widow nowadays, but yes. I am Natalia.”

“And you are Anton?”

“People call me Tony, but you can call me Anton if you want,” he winked and James thought maybe that meant something, but he didn’t understand it at that point. Hopefully, his memories on typical human interaction would come back soon. “Or you can call me sweet--” Natalia smacked his chest with the back of her hand. “Hey, it’s in bad form to beat up your partner.”

“Stop flirting with him, and I wouldn’t have to smack sense back into you,” he smiled.

“Welp, you got me there.”

“You’re also an Avenger? Is there anyone else?” Anton was funny, he liked that, and Natalia seemed to like him too. They were friends. When did they meet? They had been housed in two different stations. The Widows in the USSR and the Wolf Spiders in Canada. He trained them, spending a week at each place, splitting his time. It was much easier than it sounded.

“Yeah. I’m Tony Stark or Iron Man. Nobody besides Tasha and my kids know I’m actually a badass, but yeah. There’s also the bitch, I mean Maximoff, and Barton. Rhodey is busy, and Brucie abandoned me. Thor is gone again, but he drops in sometimes. Either way, nobody but Tasha is allowed in my space because they’ve been dicks lately. So you wouldn’t have to see them if you didn’t want to.”

“Maximoff? Wanda? One of Strucker’s Prized Pupils?”

“Yep. That’s her--”

“She’s HYDRA.”

“I know!” Anton jumped up and ran a hand through his hair. Somehow, he knew that it wasn’t going to be an attack. Anton seemed very displeased with Maximoff. “She’s a horrible piece of trash but Cap’s all defensive of her even though she’s a Nazi shit-head who likes to torture us. Me in particular. She’s ‘just a kid’ though and all that crap, and I don’t give a shit if she’s going to save the world because she’s reformed, but she’s not. She’s still glowing red anytime I get near her, she’s still talking shit about me ‘cause I’m oh-so-terrible, and she’s already tried to fuck up the world once, why would I care if she decides she wants to help all the sudden? She’s… I hate her but nobody believes me and then they just blow me off because I’m just an arrogant attention whore.”

“She would not know you were there, and she would not be allowed to see you even if she did know. She is restricted from Tony’s quarters as are the others. FRIDAY, the AI, is very strict about who has access to Tony. You would be as safe as our type get,” Natalia had stood beside him, and slipped a hand on Tony’s shoulder, which seemed to calm him down. He deliberated for a moment. These people, Natalia and Anton, knew him before he was bad, they knew him and he knew them, but he couldn’t quite remember them in entirety yet. He frowned.

“I think I… I think I may have done something to the Starks? Are you… Howard’s son?” He couldn’t remember the name, so he was unsure. He was told to attack Stark, not Howard, and to kill all witnesses to extract the serum from the car.

“Oh, yeah. I know. Thanks, by the way,” James didn’t know what to say to that. Did he just get thanked for killing someone’s father? “He was a real piece of work, but thanks for apologizing. He’s gone now, and I didn’t even have to do it myself… we should really get going though, we’ve already been away for eight hours, because Nat’s fast as fuck, and it’ll take another eight to get back, and I’m technically not allowed to leave the house.”

James moved forward, and for a moment, both Anton and Natalia seemed to tense and shift, but then he got on a knee and pried a floorboard up. He picked up a duffel bag and set it to the side while he replaced the board. He looked up at them. Perhaps they wouldn’t allow this?

“Do you mind if I take this with me?”

“No, of course not. Take whatever you want, and we can find a place for it. _Mi casa es su casa_ , right?” He stood up and looked around for a second, there was only the journal by his bed, and that was everything. He walked to the bedroom, hesitating to turn away from them but doing it anyway, and picked up the little journal. He tucked it away in his pocket and went to see them. They led him to the roof two buildings over, and he didn’t understand until there was a cling and then there was a fancy jet in front of them. James got on behind Anton and followed by Natalia.

“I’m going to fly and deal with Rogers if he calls. You two stay to the right and out of the camera’s view,” she started flipping switches before the jet lifted and shot off. Anton rested against the wall, sitting on the floor. James sat beside him. Anton was typing something on his phone with quick movements. This lasted maybe a minute before he put his phone on his lap and leaned his head back against the metal wall. James was curious about this man. Iron Man, he called himself, but he was also Nephila. How did that happen? He was frozen most of the time with HYDRA, and given only just enough information to carry out his mission. Anton looked tired, though, and he didn’t want to disturb him. They had come for him, just to… help him. It was not something he was used to, having people want to help him. (There was ‘Stevie’ but he called him ‘Bucky.’ Perhaps he was not aware of what had transpired between the 40’s and the present. Time changes people, and torture excellerates that change.)

In all honesty, he was wary of going with them even if they were in his memories. What if they were just going to take him to ‘Rogers’ who didn’t seem all that sociable. James didn’t close his eyes, but he stared at the other side of the jet until his vision was blurred as he tried to think about these people. He needed to remember. Why couldn’t he remember when he wanted to, when he needed to, but he could remember little details that he couldn’t relate to at all? He remembered being poor, there was a war going on, but it wasn’t him. He felt bad for invading their privacy because it wasn’t meant for him. He had memories as the Asset ready to force him into depression at any moment, but he wanted to remember when… he had been happy.

It could be wrong, but he had been happy with Department X. He had been good at what he did, he had been treated humanely, and he felt like he was helping. He was part of a bigger purpose, that he had meaning and value, but then… HYDRA bought him, and he was ruined far more than he would ever recover from fully. He could be a bad person, the kid from Brooklyn and his blond friend would think he was a bad person, but he didn’t feel like a bad person. He did bad things, and he wanted to apologize and help fix things, to make what he ruined better, but he hurt and he felt sadness and grief. He knew suffering, he knew it so well. He knew ‘suffering’ more than he knew himself.

He had vague flashes of memories. Of people yelling, lots of shouting. He hadn’t been targeted, and it wasn’t him being yelled at or shouting at whoever was being reprimanded. He… he had held someone? He twitched when he remembered pulling the trigger, the resounding gunshot echoing in his mind. So maybe he was a bad person because that was when he was happy. It wasn’t conventional happiness, and he didn’t enjoy killing people, but that was what was needed, that is what he was good at. That was what he could offer. His _skills_ , and they had _saved_ him. He wouldn’t turn his back on them.

“Are the others from your programs still active agents?” he asked.

“Well, there were four of us left when the program ended. I was sent to Howard who passed me off to college a week later. From what I’ve heard, Niko is running in the Russian Mafia, Elliot is serving a life sentence in ADX Supermax Prison for a whole bunch of different things. Then Misha…” Anton sighed and pulled his knees up to his chest and rested his cheek against his knee. He was still looking at James, but there was a soft and horribly sad smile in place of his frown moments earlier. “Misha killed himself twelve years ago.”

“... Misha?” Natalia asked before James could string a response together.

“Yeah. He was… he sent me a goddamn note, his _suicide note_. I couldn’t help him by the time I found him, and… and I doubt anyone would have even noticed him missing if he hadn’t reached out, not even me. I was twenty, and he… nevermind. He’s gone, there’s no changing anything.”

“That’s not on you, Tony.”

“I know that… _I know that_ … but it sure feels like it.”

Natalia didn’t press for more, and James wasn’t going to go anywhere near the information he was just provided. To fill the silence, Natalia told them about the other active Widows. There was Yelena Belova, she was the most prominent because she had tried to attack Natalia often, but that was one of the other eighteen living Black Widows. Unlike Anton, who had watched and checked up on the boys he had known, she admitted that she didn’t keep track of the Widows because she didn’t care about them. She held no fondness for them.

The two people who had come to him, he decided, were more like him than anyone else he had met. All three of them building from their ashes and hoping to come out better than ever before despite the odds stacked against them.

***

Steve Rogers, or Stevie as the man in his memories called him, was waiting for Natalia at the hangar. She tossed a tarp over him and Anton, and told them she’d get rid of him so they could get inside. Natalia left the ramp down to greet Steve.

“How was your trip?” Despite the neutral words, James got the feeling that he was angry.

“Fine.”

“Good, that’s good… I need your help getting Tony out of the lab. We were waiting for you to come back for the team meeting anyway, but you are also the only one he seems to listen to,” he sounded displeased.

“What’s the meeting about?” their voices started fading even more, the steps of Steve and then the purposeful click of Natalia’s boots as they walked away. Somehow, Steve hadn’t mentioned the opened ramp, which seemed like something important to have noticed.

“Team morale. Tony’s been distant, and I should apologize for avoiding him, but I was angry, understandably, but I shouldn’t have been so mean. He needs our help more now than ever, and maybe this time he will actually let his ego deflate enough to listen to reason…” they faded to a dull hum in the background before there was a sharp noise from the metal door opening and closing. Anton pushed the tarp off of them and crumbled it back into the little place it had been kept before. Tony remotely lifts the ramp once they were at the back entryway of the hangar.

Anton led him through the compound, speaking to a non-corporeal woman to ask where it was ‘safe’ to go. With her help, they finally got to Anton’s quarters. It was more like a house on it’s own rather than just a part of a residential building. There were two robots. Robots? He hesitated when one of them prodded his leg like a child before beeping and chirping while spinning in circles.

“Don’t worry about him, he’s sort of an idiot,” Anton pat the robot’s top, “this is DUM-E and that’s U. Nat is her best friend and her ‘nails’ have been painted, hence the blue claw. Think of them as my perpetually seven and thirteen year old children. They’re harmless, mostly,” Anton seemed fond of these robots if the way he petted them and continued to hold a conversation with them that he somehow managed to keep up despite their responses being in whatever robot language they spoke. “DUM-E says he likes your arm, by the way,” Anton said as he walked through the living room, his two bots following him. “And if I’m being honest, I like it too…”

“Thanks?” Anton makes a noise that James perceives as acknowledgement but a non-response.

“Do you want to see your room? FRIDAY helped the kids make up the room. Hopefully they didn’t trash it,” Anton told them to stay in the living room or go back to the workshop before he led James up the stairs to the second story. It really was a larger house inside a bigger house. “There’s a few things here that are rather recent. It’s been, hmm, six months since I got put on ‘house arrest’ by Captain Spandex and was avoided, so I decided I would avoid them right back and added everything that they had outside the compound to this section. Also, it had needed to be expanded, so it’s almost as big as the workshop which is about fifteen feet beneath the ground level,” Anton opened a door and pushed it for him to walk through. It was more than he had ever expected.

James didn’t notice that Anton stood just out of the doorway as he looked around. It looked like his quarters at Department X but bigger and everything was higher quality and terribly expensive looking. Instead of a stand for his uniform, he had a dresser, but there were books that he had collected (a few of which were stacked on the top of the dresser), and the bedset was the same colour. It was eerie how similar it was, until he saw the differences. He wasn’t that person, but that was the closer than the kid from the 40’s or the Fist of HYDRA.

“I didn’t have anything planned. The books are from my collection, and I added a few that I thought you might like, and I wasn’t sure if you would want a dresser or a wardrobe, but I didn’t want to make it too fancy,” apparently they had very different ideas of what constituted as ‘fancy.’

“It’s more than I thought it would be. Thank you,” he turned to Anton. “I owe you.”

“No, you don’t owe me shit besides your company, and only when you feel like it. Helping people, it’s sort of a weakness of mine,” he saw the repressed flinch that only twitched Anton’s eyes. It made sense for him to be uncomfortable admitting weakness, even if it wasn’t true (but James had reason to believe he hadn’t been lying). James set the duffel bag from his old apartment down on the bed. “Uh, well, I guess I should go pretend I’ve been holed up in the shop all day, so I’m gonna go, uh, get changed out of this thing. Nobody else needs to know anything, right? FRIDAY can help you find anywhere you want, like the kitchen or something. I’ll see you later, hopefully sooner than later, actually.”

Anton walked away from the room. He had just given all of this to James, and he didn’t want repayment? From what he remembered, both Wolf Spider and Back Widow programs didn’t allow for that sort of weakness, and favours were gathered quickly to keep themselves and their employers safe. Nephila, from the Wolf Spider Ops, but so far, he hadn’t shown anything close to what he remembered the boys being, or the girls for that matter. The girl were quicker to learn, but the boys made up for their inexperience with raw rage, but Anton… _“he weaves webs”_ … why was he so different?


	4. Tony's POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pepper is brought into the loop. Operation 'kick ass and take names' is a go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is sort of short. A lot of these chapters got really short, but the ones I'm writing now (chapters 9+) are longer. 
> 
> Also, I sort of made the romance-ish parts between James and Tony speed up, so that'll be sooner than I thought, but then again, Pepper and Natasha have way more issues to talk about and get over, so that makes sense. As I write chapter ten, you can not believe how much I love all of the characters. I just want to wrap them all in blankets and bubble wrap and cry while watching TV with them because THEY DESERVE BETTER! 
> 
> Anyway... I hope you like this, and chapter five will be delivered next Tuesday. It is in Natasha's POV, so be prepared. 
> 
> I was thinking about adding a Pepper POV, but I'm not sure. I think her input and take on everything would be much more logical since she has less of an emotional attachment like the other three, but then again, she loves and cares for Tony, so maybe I'm putting my foot in my mouth (and saying things too early too). Let me know what you think!

Tony’s POV

Steve talked for two hours on how they needed to be a better team. Tony came here to have a good time, and he felt so attacked -- mostly because he was the target, like usual, of this meeting because he caused all problems in the entire world. From world hunger to who left the toilet seat up, it was always his fault. That may be an exaggeration, but that’s how it felt. Tony was gone as soon as they were excused, because like children they had to be excused in Steve’s presence, and made it his mission to never be in the same room with Wanda ever again. He had tolerated it, he had training to avoid certain things. Pain, not terrible.  _ Oops, I got shot, let’s dig it out with a knife and pour some vodka on it. Damn, I stepped on a nail and it went through my foot, let’s pull it out and drink until we pass out post-tetanus shot because it’s fun. _

For all intents and purposes, Tony had gone face-to-face with the Hulk -- the  _ HULK! _ \-- and he got up and shrugged it off because he needed to get shit done. Put him in the same room with that witch and all he could focus on was her because she was a threat, and he wanted to just  _ take her out _ . His friends lived here, his children lived here, and Wanda had already lured innocent Vision to the Dark Side. At this point, Tony would rather kiss Emperor Palpatine than be anywhere near her, and he was being forced to house her. She never thanked him, not many did so he wasn’t expecting a thanks per se, but to give him something substantial to work with would be nice. How many synonyms for ‘hate,’ ‘murderer,’ and ‘monster’ were there, because she was running out of them pretty quickly, and he had spent maybe twenty-four hours, total, in her proximity since she moved in six months ago. 

Somehow it was his fault the team wasn’t getting along. Steve said jump and while the others asked ‘how high?’ Tony was going to push them all off some cliff because they annoyed him and they hated him just as much. He knew they hated him. He was a good person, right? He made mistakes, but they did too, but somehow he was always the bad guy. Feed ‘em,  _ hated _ , shelter ‘em,  _ monstrous _ , pay for every goddamn thing they could want, and still,  _ what an asshole _ . He couldn’t win with their rules, and Tony always won. So, their rules suck, and he would be taking over with his own set. Tony wasn’t cliche, but he was playing three-dimensional chess and they weren’t even playing checkers, as the saying went, they were fumbling with a deck of playing cards as if that would win them anything. 

He couldn’t just attack. Not directly, of course. He couldn’t just punch Steve and announce he’s actually been a secretly double-enhanced assassin this entire time followed by ‘surprise!’ because that, while in theory would be funny, wouldn’t work well for anyone. So, he would start small. He had Natasha who would listen, and he’d had injected himself with Extremis a year and a half ago, so he could talk to his children, finally able understand their robot-gibberish. He also had James, but he wasn’t sure where exactly James’ place in everything was, but he would find out. First, he just needed to get his babies and friends into this. 

Rhodey would be gone for a while yet, but Pepper was supposed to be his girlfriend, so she could be in on it under the pretense of romance or something like that. Thank God she wasn’t some SHIELD sycophant. Also, he had a hunch, and since Pepper was his beard, and he was hers, maybe the girls could finally jump that hurdle from Natasha’s stint as Natalie and how much that double crossing pissed Pepper off, and they could finally get together. Jeez, he had been planning a wedding since the compound was made because so help him God, they needed each other just as much as he needed stability, which is to say: very much. (But, like him and stability, they just didn’t seem to find any common ground, yet.)

***

He waited a month, just plotting under the guise of fiddling with that gadget he had happily finished a while ago. He wanted to let James get settled and Natasha move into his part of the building fully and officially. He thought long and hard about whether a dog or a cat would be the best pet. He wanted one of both (actually he wanted a lot more than one), but he had a hard time taking care of himself, so he was scared to adopt a living, breathing, eating animal and to find it dead because he hadn’t fed it. He decided it would be the best to just admire it from afar. He anonymously donated lots of money to pet shelters and offered at least enough to keep the animals healthy because they deserve it all. 

All this caring-stuff was Natasha’s fault and he would stick by the statement even if she had him in a choke hold. She was deadly and apathetic at times, but she doted on U and DUM-E, and she had thrown him over her shoulder and thrown him to the couch to rest and eat more than once. He was sure she and FRIDAY, and through FRIDAY she was indirectly assisting Pepper, were working overtime to keep him alive. How had he ever survived without them? 

Then, everything seemed to settle. So, the month after Steve’s little ‘team meeting,’ Tony called Pepper to visit, invited Pepper to a meeting between him and Pepper, and then hesitantly asked James if he would like to join, maybe. The worst part is, he had really said ‘mayhap’ and he didn’t think he would live that down. James had told him he would be there, and he wasn’t sure if he was more nervous because he had neglected to tell Pepper that Natasha was coming, kept Pepper’s appearance hidden from Natasha, or because James was going to be joining them. 

Thankfully, at six in the evening, Natasha had been sitting beside Tony playing a game of chess with FRIDAY with her phone, when Pepper walked in. For a second, Natasha tensed a bit beside him, but then she relaxed and continued on with her game. 

“Hey Pep! Look, I got food,” he had indeed gathered a variety of foods from a variety of different restaurants and had them on the coffee table they were sitting around. Pepper sat beside Tony, opposite of Natasha and sat her purse down beside her. 

“Thanks, Tony. You said that we were going to have a meeting?” 

“Oh yeah, we’re waiting for James,” he smiled, “is that a new purse?” 

“It is. I wasn’t sure you’d notice… Tony, and I don’t mean to be rude Miss Romanova, but I thought we were going to be speaking about your position in the Avengers.” 

“Right. I know and I’ve been planning this meeting for a while. I needed a few days, a month actually, to make the plan somewhat suitable. Of course, there are contingencies because nothing seems to be solid with these people, so it may take a while, but we can go over the main details. Good news is, I didn’t give you the first few ideas because they mostly involved punching people and shooting them in the face,” James walked in and Pepper looked at him before back at Tony. 

“Is this the James you were talking about?” He was thankful she ignored the ‘shooting them in the face’ comment. 

“Yep.” 

“Is this the James you told me instructed you when you were young?” 

“Yep.” 

“... Alright, Tony, you know I love you, but what is going on? There’s something you haven’t told me, and I feel more stupid than usual because of it. I would like to ask you, as someone who cares and will always be there for you, to tell me what is really going on,” when she put it that way, Tony would have felt bad for keeping it a secret from her. He had told Natasha first, but Natasha had been taught by the same people, she could understand better than Pepper. “And what it has to do with a Russian assassin and Captain America’s sidekick?” 

“Well, first, I’m with Natasha because you’ll see in a second, and that’s not Bucky Barnes… well it is, but he likes to be called James now. He really did teach me, but not how you think,” he didn’t pull away when she pulled his hands into her lap and held them. “This is… I haven’t told anyone, and I mean anyone, ever, without them finding out first, which is only possible when I want them to,” he ignored the hard nudge against his knee from Natasha. It was cute that she thought he hadn’t hidden that information far too deep for anyone to find. He had obviously planted it for her to find. “Howard was a weapons maker, right? So, well, it was during the Cold War, ya know, big deal because nobody died on a literal battlefield, and Howard worked for the USA, because he was Howard. He was still searching for Captain America, and he wasn’t spending enough time building weapons. It had to do with the arms race, but it was sort of all technology that he was trying to one-up in the name of America or something. So, when I was two, he didn’t need me, and I was a very nice asset to people who needed members and would highly benefit with me in their possession. Those people gave Howard research and designs, which when I overlooked had been purposely designed to be faulty, but that idiot hadn’t seemed to notice, and Howard gave them me.” 

“I wasn’t like the other twenty-seven boys, though. I wasn’t overly strong, and I spoke way too often to be a spy. While they would’ve trained those traits out of me, they decided that my ramblings made sense, and so they stuck me with their engineers, technicians, and doctors to learn. I could break a gun into components and put it back together in a few seconds by the time I was five-ish, or maybe four and eleven months. Point is, I was young, and that was very promising. James spent time training the other boys, and I watched from the distance. By twelve, it was mostly my department, the science facilities in general, but they had terminated fifteen of the other boys who proved uncontrollable. I was needed for more, and they decided I learned at a quicker rate than most, so they stuck me in the back of the room to watch James and the boys fight. I had a year to watch, and when I was thirteen, I was thrown in a ring to actually fight. 

“I’m not bragging, but I sort of am, because the others took between six or seven years to learn how to be acceptable fighters, and it took me, fifteen-ish months. So, I was split between the physical training, and then I was put on missions and designs. My missions rarely consisted of leaving the facility, but I monitored and informed from my post, got into all the cameras, if there were any, and found a way to find a bit of everything that was needed. I could do everything the other boys could do, and more. 

“At fourteen, I got in _ trouble _ … and I was separated from the others, isolated. It was worse for… it was worse for  _ him _ . Things were made more challenging, but I’m sort of known for rising to the occasion,” he winked but Pepper’s hands tightened around his to comfort him. Apparently it was apparent that he still hurt, and he still felt terrible for it. He hated those last years, but he missed them, and would rather those years than to the reality of being sent back to Howard. “Anyway, by that time, there were only four of us. It was all Niko’s fault. He had to try and escape, again, even though he  _ knew _ he couldn’t. He managed to kill six people in his attempt, and instead of executing him and keeping the three of us, they had already lost too much for us to really be worth anything, so they shipped us out and the program was recorded as a failure. Everything after that is pretty much the same of how you know it. I didn’t use my training much, but it did save me more than once… like the serum did.” 

Thankfully no one spoke for a while, because Tony was reeling from admitting everything. It had been nice, he had liked it there, but then he had been punished and Misha had gotten it way worse. Misha stopped talking to him, he stopped interacting with him at all, and the operatives and agents made sure to keep them as far apart as they could even if Misha didn’t hate him. He had a home there, he had a family there, and he knew he had it easier, but he would have done anything to stay away from everything waiting for him in America. He got dumped with a bunch of bullshit that he didn’t give a fuck about but had to ‘care’ about because it was ‘his heritage’ and he was Howard’s legacy. Yeah right, he hated Howard and would’ve killed him had he wanted to deal with the backlash and responsibility of Stark Industries, but he hadn’t. That choice had been taken out of his hands. It had kept him busy after Misha died, though, and he ignored the guilt for years by staying busy. Then his need for approval hurt him again, because Stane had seen that weakness, but Stane also knew nothing about him beyond that he had been told, and he wanted the company and would kill him to get it. He shouldn’t have underestimated Tony, but thankfully he did. 

“You mentioned the ‘serum’?” Pepper asked. 

“Yes. It was a variant from Rogers’ serum that turned him into Captain America,” he looked at Natasha and she nodded a moment later. He looked to James for the same approval, which was given. “Natasha and James have a similar serum as well. They were all different, but the majority of the granted attributes are similar… there’s another thing. A recent development,” she looked worried again. She had a good reason to be. “Extremis.” 

It took everyone a brief moment to feel the weight of those words, and finally Pepper squared her shoulders, and her chin tilted up ever so slightly. 

“Seeing as you’re not dead, I assume you stabilized it?” 

“I also  _ stabilized _ yours…”  

“What? Stabilized isn’t synonymous with neutralized, Tony. Why did you tell me you neutralized it, if you hadn’t? Why lie about something like that?” 

“Because lying is almost as easy as breathing,” considering breathing was a chore for him on his good days, that was sort of a big thing. Lying was  _ easier _ than breathing, but Pepper didn’t need to know that (half-truths are better-truths). “Because you were human and I was scared you could get hurt again without it,” her shoulders stayed tight for a moment longer and then she deflated, the anger dissipating as she bumped her knee against his affectionately. 

“Don’t think I’m not angry, but I do understand why you felt that way,” she looked at both Natasha and James, although she eyed James for a moment longer than Natasha only to turn back to Tony. “So, you’re actually a secret sort-of-Russian assassin who has been playing Iron Man? How will this affect the Avengers?” 

“Welp… mostly, yeah. That’s about right. I’ve been hiding in plain sight and for all the times I bring up the lack of a brain-to-mouth filter, I managed to elude almost everyone. So they don’t know, and they never need to know,” this was one secret that he didn’t want Rogers and his buddies to use against him. He’s already the devil himself, if they knew he was also a trained assassin capable of so much more than what they thought (and had even more sins in his past)... well, what was worse than the epitome of all mortal wrongdoing? 

Pepper nodded, thankfully, like he thought she would. If anyone hated the Avengers more than Tony, it was Pepper. His sweet, precious-but-lethal Pepper. She would go on an eye-gouging spree with those heels one day, and he wouldn’t stop her. 

“So, I’ve been keeping myself out of the house with the others, but since I’m Tony Stark, it won’t look weird if I ‘randomly’ decide to just waltz back in like I own the place, because I do own this place. I’m going to actually use my abilities, ya know, for more than just making people uncomfortable. The best thing we can do, is finding their weaknesses, and I have read their files, and SHIELD certainly wanted to know what could hurt all of us, but the weaknesses listed aren’t what I would assume Fury knew. So, we can look at those, but speaking of weaknesses… well, we all have them, and they could be exploited just as we will exploit theirs. It would be a good idea to try and patch up all those holes in our souls so that they can’t attack and rip us open any easier than it should be. And by that, I mean we are patched up, they can’t see a crack through our facades, alright? Wanda is the most likely to abuse mine, followed by Cap because he’s a dick with a vendetta against me for some reason. Wanda can be dealt with, but my idea to fix that mess it to just terminate the problem. The problem is Wanda, so she will be gotten rid of like the pest she is. Then, there is Cap, and I’m not sure if he even knows that it’s a weakness, or if he thinks that way, but he’s exploiting it without knowing it and…” Tony sighed and both Pepper and Natasha bumped into each other as they went to wrap an arm around his shoulders. The girls glared at each other for a second before they both decided it best to get along for now. 

“It’s always been… I don’t know why I’m so defective, but either way, my weakness is the easiest to exploit, because I feel some need to help people and it’s stupid, but that’s what it is, and it sucks. Nat’s is finding reliable and helpful connections with people, Pepper’s is her new Extremis not being used to its fullest capabilities, and James… well, I assume everything since 1999 has got you all sorts of messed up. Well, yeah, we all need work, and thankfully, everyone here can help each other. Pepper is great at getting people to trust her despite her thirst for blood, and Natasha is a badass fighter who could go hand-to-hand with Pepper. I can help with Extremis, obviously, and I need help with whatever messy emotions fuck me over while James needs something similar, but I’m not sure. We can go into this later, work out a schedule or something. 

“Let’s just work on finding their fleshy parts, and covering ours, before we move onto actually killing and wounding people. Does that sound like a good plan for now?” 

“For now, it’s good enough to get us started,” Natasha said, “at least we can make them leave, or at least stop being all high-and-mighty. I’m mad for your sake. If I walked back in, they’d accept me, if you walk back in? I feel like you would need a suit just to keep  _ you _ from hurting  _ them _ .” 

“An on-point description if I’ve ever heard one. Seriously, though, that’s like three hundred dollars worth of food and it’s getting cold, so eat. FRIDAY, can you play something nice like, I don’t really know,  _ Underworld _ ?” 

Four enhanced beings against three hundred dollars of food wasn’t much of a challenge. Nothing went to waste, but it did have Tony calling for more food a few hours later. He missed Rhodey, of course he did, he loved his Rhodey, but he had been busy with the Army and Air Force and Tony didn’t want to add anymore stress on him… there was also a very gross feeling that had him twitching because what if Rhodey didn’t agree with him? What if Rhodey decided that Tony really was a horrible person, that he was better off without his friendship? That fear is what kept Tony from reaching out, and it would keep him from reaching out until he absolutely had to. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may be taking on a third fanfiction (I know!) but I saw a really awesome video about vampire Tony and vampire hunter Winter Soldier that I'm taken with, so I'll let you know if I actually take that on or not, right now, it's still in mind production because not a single word has been written for it yet (at least by me). The original is "Coming for You" by remontada and I recommend it. I also have a whole bunch of fanfictions I like (and I'm sure you've heard of at least a few of them since they're mostly WinterIron) but I want to write a fantasy-based story, like the one by remontada or something else. I have a few about Jotun!Tony and Dragon!Tony, but those are FrostIron, and I'm curious if I could somehow add the Winter Soldier or not. Let me know if you'd be interested (but keep in mind, things may update slower if I have more to update and write). 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	5. Natasha's POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha and Pepper meet up. Her sweater vest was cute, and anyone who denied it was lying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I know this isn't a Tuesday, but I have a few interesting updates. One, I've started outline the vampire!Tony story, and second, I decided I would write a prequel to this story set when Tony was at Department X. 
> 
> I also felt bad because the last chapter was so short, and I felt like I didn't give enough to really know what was going on, so hopefully this will help. I think it plays into chapter six very well, since the next few chapters happen right after each other, no time skips, just lots of stuff.

Natasha’s POV 

Nine days ago, Tony’s gave his plan to do whatever it was he wanted to do, and three days since Pepper had come up with an honest-to-God schedule for them to meet with each other. It was a Thursday, which was officially the third day in their plan. It was only six days of the week, with the seventh day of every week being skipped so they could all spend time together and in, for Pepper, Natasha, and James, get to know each other since Tony knew them all. So, it was her turn to visit with Pepper. They would be talking, from what FRIDAY told her, about the possibility of having their own brand of SHIELD, but with less people and overseen by Pepper with FRIDAY and Tony working on gaining contracts, and Pepper doing her ‘thing’ to ensnare them and get these ‘contacts’ to cooperate with them. Natasha, in return for Pepper's assistance, would then be spending two hours, in the evening, sparring and teaching Pepper how to physically defend herself without relying specifically only her powers, but rather her newly developed hand-to-hand combat skills. 

Natasha, dressed in attire she thought more appropriate for a stroll through the Stark Industries headquarters and to Pepper’s office, received brief and uncertain glances from faces she remembered vaguely. She was sure those people were former SHIELD operatives. Tony hadn’t just saved all the agents, but after the termination of SHIELD, he had offered them jobs. She would bet he offered to assist with any housing and other needs, including educational, in recompense for their ‘services’ along with the hefty salary that all SI workers gained. Tony was too good, sometimes, and it made her question how he made it out of the Wolf Spider Ops Program alive. He did say he was different, but he was far more different than she had thought, or he had portrayed in the tale of his times with Department X. 

So, maybe she shouldn’t have worn this outfit. It wasn’t anything like a leather catsuit, not for a setting like this, but Pepper had taken one look at her and stifled a cute giggle before shuffling the papers on the desk and moving them around. There was a manila folder full of papers, and then there was a Stark tablet sitting on one of the chairs in front of Pepper’s desk. 

“My goodness, did you dress us?” 

“I… didn’t want to look out of place.” 

“Well, it’s not ‘out of place,’ but,” she smiled and waved for her to sit on the chair with the tablet. “Is that an honest-to-God sweater-vest? That’s adorable.” 

Natasha crossed her arms, not because she was uncomfortable, not anymore (not after Pepper’s initial reaction that made her feel self conscious no matter how hard she tried not to care), but because she wasn’t amused by Pepper’s hysterics. They weren’t ‘hysterics,’ but the woman’s cheeks were flushing pink and that blush went to her neck. It wasn’t all that funny. Her outfit was cute, right? She liked it for herself. She liked Pepper in what she usually wore, tight pencil skirts and ironed blouses with her hair pulled up tight. It was the way Pepper wore everything from her clothes to her actions that made her so attractive, and just as intimidating. 

“Sorry. I’ve never seen you look so  _ normal _ . It was a bit jarring at first,” when Pepper cleared her throat and shuffled papers and straightened them, despite them already being neat, Natasha understood. Pepper liked her in this outfit too. So it had worked, not that she purposely went out of her way, but maybe she had put a few steps in to seem professional enough for a corporate building and to look harmless (or as harmless as she could look). 

“Don’t worry about it. James had a similar reaction.” 

“He did?” Pepper’s cute smile faded. From what she had seen, Pepper wasn’t entirely fond of James. She admitted to her suspicion (that James was a ‘spy’ for Rogers) to Tony, who then told Natasha, asking for help on what to do. She told him to just reassure her that James was no spy. 

“Yes. Tony as well, actually. Apparently I don’t often look ‘normal,’ so I’m curious how I often look.” 

“Scary, intimidating, deadly… lots of adjectives that could be as equally apt to describe a graceful predator… now, I have some  _ business _ with these  _ companies _ …” they continued the rest of the two hours with on-topic conversation. Despite paying attention, Natasha couldn’t help but be impressed, if not outright aroused, at the way Pepper was so efficient. She may not be a killer, but she was just as deadly as one, except instead of a pulse, she dealt with reputation, rapport, and money. She could make or break so many companies that wanted a piece of Stark Industries, and she had plenty of ‘shadier’ contacts that had not only impressed Natasha because Pepper knew of them, but she had collected plenty of information to harm them in their weakest spots (all spots that Pepper knew how to exploit). While Natasha aimed for the jugular, Pepper would aim for their social media or, with Tony and FRIDAY’s help, the illicit files from their personal computers and conversations in hidden places that she had recorded and stored on Tony’s private server and his many backups. It was, essentially, blackmail taken to the extreme (and Pepper did it with deadly finesse). 

At the end of the two hours, Pepper had to excuse herself to a meeting a few floors down with a group of possible legitimate companies with legal ideas that they wanted to sell to Stark Industries, if not ask for funding for a portion of the profit in return. 

“I can walk with you, if you would like?” 

“That would be fine,” Pepper was already walking down the hall to the elevator, and Natasha quickly followed. The way to the floor, in the elevator, was quiet. Almost entirely silent beyond the sounds of the machinery (which was odd considering it was Tony who designed it). Natasha was about to ask, but Pepper answered before she had time to articulate. “These are relatively old elevators. This building is actually one of the oldest remaining fully staffed Stark Industries buildings. Tony has yet to visit to fix the elevators, but I don’t mind the sound and none of the staff or guests have come to me with any concerns or complaints.” 

The doors opened with a  _ ping _ , and Pepper stepped out. 

“It has been interesting. I will meet you at the compound at six-thirty, thank you for your time.” 

“Anyti--” the doors shut, and Natasha couldn’t help her sound between both a laugh and cry, both for completely different reasons. On one hand, it was comical that the elevator doors would close just as they were needed to stay open the most, but then it was almost disappointing the discomfort she felt upon being in Pepper’s presence without a straight goal to focus on. She hadn’t felt much attraction pre-Stark Industries, and she hadn’t felt any until half way through her mission as Tony’s personal assistant, and it most definitely hadn’t been directed at Tony. In fact, true attraction, whether sexual or otherwise, was not something she felt often, if at all before meeting Pepper. Even Clint never inspired such feelings and they had been very close for quite some time. 

Natasha made her way back to the compound and stripped from her clothes, tossing the blue sweater vest onto the floor and kicking off the flats that felt dangerous and flimsy. Her bed was soft, and she stared at the ceiling for a long time. Tony had been planning this, she knew, he had implied his ‘divine intervention’ in reference of both Pepper and Natasha’s romantic lives. She had reminded him he was not a God, and ignored the rest, filing it away but not lingering on such a thought. If anyone was a God, it would be Tony. That talented bastard. 

It was now three in the afternoon, and she had yet to leave her room. An hour after her meeting ended with Pepper. There was a knock on her door. She didn’t answer, and there were footsteps before there was another knock. Furiously fast wrapping with knuckles as opposed to the typical bang against the door with the side of a fist. That would be Tony, no doubt. There were more footsteps, and from under her door, she saw another pair of feet. She doubted it would be anyone other than James seeing as the other Avengers were barred entrance to this entire area of the compound indefinitely. 

This time there was no doubt who was knocking, and the door rattled, its hinges struggling ever so slightly with the force. She sighed. 

“Go away!” 

“Come on, Tash! I need to know how it went. She’s my unofficial, somewhat-official mother, and you’re like that one cousin thats super cool and scary at the same time! I need to know  _ everything _ .” 

“ _ Ot’yebis  _ (Fuck off)! I don’t want to talk about it,” there was a brief quiet after she spoke, and there was a shuffling outside her door. 

“C’mon, let’s chit-chat. Pretty please?” Tony was bordering on a whine, “James made blueberry muffins and I can make you that tea you really like… please? I’ll tell you about my lover problems!” Natasha huffed out a sigh, but she couldn’t exactly be angry at Tony. She could read people, she had read Tony Stark, just the way Tony wanted her to see him, but he showed her Anton, the man beneath that surface, and she liked what she read from him far more. That voice, the inflection, was sincere, at least as sincere as Tony could get. She would blame the temptation of food and tea, but she was only a little jealous that Tony’s ‘love interest’ actually liked him, while Pepper tolerated her at best. 

“Will James be there?” 

“Uh… not if you don’t want him to be.” 

She opened the door, “I just don’t want Pepper to be relayed any of this information, but I will extend a hand of faith to both of you. I wouldn’t abuse it if I were you, either of you.” 

Tony nodded furiously, and gingerly took her hand before leading her to the kitchen. James followed more sedately behind them both. There was a time when Natasha would have been on edge with her back to someone as dangerous as James, but despite being the Winter Soldier, James was also extremely gentle and shy when he wasn’t required to fight. From his time at the compound, Natasha had caught him watching  _ Guys and Dolls _ three times in the middle of the night on three different occasions, and he had taken a liking for  _ The Vampire Chronicles _ by Anne Rice. He had raided Tony’s collection of books, with permission, and had been introduced to the world of hedonistic vampires that he seemed to love despite purposely tiptoeing around the topic in conversation. 

So, no, she wasn’t terrified of him behind her. She didn’t just know he was more likely to snap her bra-strap just to annoy her than to try to murder her in the hallway. James seemed to be more relaxed, now that he had settled into Tony’s house. He didn’t jump nearly as much as he had originally, and he did what he wanted with ease, rather than asking for permission for everything. 

In the kitchen, Tony hopped around like a child hyped up on caffeine, and made her tea before grabbing the muffins and setting them on the table. He made tea for James and then sat down with coffee for himself. Natasha sighed. They really wanted to know, so she would tell them. It was odd, she had been enjoying herself more than ever before. Carefree was allowed, but she could protect everyone she cared about here. The fact that she could jump to protect Pepper, Tony, James, U, DUM-E, and FRIDAY so easily was one of the reasons why she was enjoying her time. She didn’t have to be the cold Black Widow, and when she mentioned her time in the Red Room, Tony didn’t look at her like a pariah, but just listened and agreed or mentioned his own experience. It was as if she had a family, her own family for the first time. 

“So, Pepper laughed at my sweater-vest…” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks! Hope you enjoyed this chapter. The next chapter, I think, is a bit funnier (in a very violent, but definitely playfully violent -- they're assassins! -- sort of way).


	6. James' POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natalia and Anton are definitely children in adult bodies. Then again, James wasn't sure if trying to kill each other while laughing was something normal children did. But, they weren't 'normal' either, so his first observation stands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... I'm stuck on chapter ten, but I will get it! I have a ton of ideas, but I also don't want to play all my cards too soon, ya know? There's a lot I want to fit in here, but it has to be cohesive, and I'm terribly at that, so yeah... Hopefully, it's not terribly by the end. 
> 
> Anyway, I really enjoyed this chapter. I hope you do too!

James' POV

He listened intently to Natalia as she told her story. So far, he couldn’t see anything wrong with their interaction, or why Natalia had locked herself in her room. Pepper, as he had been permitted to call her, wasn’t nearly as scary as Anton claimed her to be, but he could see that perhaps it wasn’t her ability to ‘wield’ her heels as a weapon, but the fact she could make the toughest women and men feel insignificant and small with a glare she seemed to have perfected. It intimidated him, the Winter Soldier. Didn’t scare him, but he did feel a little threatened around her. He refused to think that he was jealous because she had the adoration of the people who rescued him. 

It had been almost three months since he had started living in Anton’s home off the main compound. It consisted of seven months of spending time just trying to get his brain to work like it should and sometimes visiting with Anton or Natalia. 

Anton planned to ruin the ‘Avengers,’ all of them having mistreated him, Pepper, or Natalia at some point. James was a pacifist, now, or as close to a pacifist he could get, and he wanted to stay away from the violence. A portion of him was scared to hurt someone fatally and deemed a threat in response, and the other portion was afraid that once he draws blood he won’t be able to stop. (And he knew that pacifists thought violence was wrong, meanwhile, he just wanted to say it often enough to maybe start believing it himself. He wasn’t an actual pacifist. He loved to fight, and he sometimes enjoyed he hurt people, but it was wrong, and he didn’t want to hurt the people he cared about on accident.) 

He had caught Natalia spying on him a few times, although it wasn’t truly ‘spying.’ She, like him, was likely kept up most nights and was trying to find something to entertain herself. He just happened to be in the living room on those nights. She hadn’t confronted him, or asked to join him, so he didn’t mention it. There were other nights when he was pressed against the back of his closet and reading. Natalia had come to get him, once, and saw him. She made many ‘closet-gay’ jokes that made him torn between amused and annoyed. Anton… he didn’t see him much. He hadn’t known how to speak to him, the man who had given him everything. Luxury he never thought he would see, and a house, an honest-to-god home. He never expected to get a second chance, not like this, but he had been given it freely by Anton. 

Anton pulled apart a muffin while Natalia spoke, shoving chunks in his mouth as she spoke. It was almost amusing, but James was sure he was purposely keeping himself from his natural desire to talk. If Anton liked anything, it was to be heard and have his opinions validated and valued. 

“She laughed at my sweater-vest. I didn’t think it was all that funny. I mentioned James, and she froze. I have a feeling she doesn’t care much for him… anyway, while we worked, things went smoothly, but then I offered to walk with her to her meeting a few floors down. She was… I was… I’m such an idiot. My reputation will be ruined, and I will never be taken seriously--” 

“Okay,” Anton swallowed his mouthful, and it looked painful. “Let me just stop you there. Your reputation is better if it was ruined, at least to Pepper. That reputation is one of the things that make her dislike you. She’s angry about spying back in 2010. She’s probably realizing that you aren’t some robot. Laugh with her, she very rarely laughs at people unless they’re extremely stupid, but you aren’t stupid, so don’t worry. Plus, you were cute as fuck, earlier. I expect you to wear that to movie nights, we can watch Aliens and talk about feminism,” she threw a piece of muffin at him, but she was smiling. “What? I am trying to help my sister and I am assaulted with blueberry-goodness? For shame! Wear those velcro sandals, you’ll look the part of hot artist-dyke and then Pepper will lo--” 

“Wanna see if you can use your mouth for something entertaining and see how my aim is?” Anton was up and catching pieces of muffin in his mouth when she threw them. That was a rather efficient way to get him to stop talking. Then again, both Anton and Natalia were very competitive, and would jump at any chance to outdo each other (video games were a nightmare). 

James knew that these people were in their thirties, and despite looking far younger due to their enhancements, they were still adults. Yet here they were, throwing food at each other and laughing in the process. James sat back, tilting his chair back in the process, and watched them. They were so amusing. It was nice to see them interact. He would have never suspected any Black Widow being so friendly, and he had been sure the Wolf Spiders were brutes, but here they were. A Widow that could give candy cavities, but also interrogate (read: torture) someone for hours as if she were just painting her nails or some other common activity. There was a Wolf Spider, not a brute, but a genius and more nimble than he had ever thought they could be. They were also now both throwing food at each other. 

“I have ten points!” 

“I have eleven!” Natalia caught another piece of muffin. “Twelve.” 

“No fair, you’re not throwing as much as I am. Gimme more opportunities. You’re cheating! James, she’s cheating!” James smiled and waved his hand. 

“There’s nothing I can do about it. Perhaps you should cheat too. If you are both cheating, then are you really cheating?” Anton quickly tore his muffins up and threw them up in the air and caught them himself. 

“Thirteen,” another, “fourteen,” another, “fifteen….” 

“What? That’s cheating. James, he’s cheating!” 

“You’re coffee and tea are getting cold,” and both of them were back in their seats to chug the lukewarm remains in their cups before getting back up and restarting their ‘war.’ James was content to watch them make a mess of the dining room and laugh at their complaining. Halfway through the second battle, it reverted to them shouting expletives at each other as loud as they could. That’s when James got more tea and sat back down. Surprisingly enough, he didn’t feel awkward watching them fight, it was actually sort of hilarious. That’s when the food was dropped and they started actually fighting. Around that time, James nearly dropped his cup. Instead of dropping anything, he stood up and walked to stand near the back wall. 

Where they learned how to do some of those things, James didn’t know. Had he taught them that? He couldn’t remember, and he also knew that he did not fight like that, but he also fought to suit the battle. He would not use either of their tactics to hurt either of them. They required a different approach… if he was ever going to attack, which he would not be doing. Ever. 

He was also shocked when Natalia attacked with brute force, only for Anton to jump and glide around, hitting her where she was open while she twisted to get to him. Natalia knocked Anton back, he collided with the ground and forced himself back on his feet, taking less than a second to wipe the blood from his nose before taking Natalia’s position as the main aggressor as she danced around him. When Anton went to punch, once again, Natalia moved to the side, but Anton did not want to strike, he needed to move her so he could sweep her feet from under her. He dropped beside her to hold her shoulders down. From across the room, Anton winked at him a second before Natalia used her legs to flip over and hold Anton down. Anton struggled for a second, and lifting his knee up to hit her in the side. She grunted but didn’t release him. He hit her again in the side, and when she didn’t release him, he bit her arm. She dropped her hold and pulled back. He managed to draw blood, which meant he had bit pretty hard. Drawing blood with teeth was not the easiest or painless thing television typically made it seem. It was, sometimes, worse than a barrage of hits, especially to normal humans, since being bitten could allow infection to spread before the fight was even over. 

“You  _ bit  _ me!” Natalia wrapped a hand around her arm and touched the bite, it looked painful from James’ vantage point. 

“Don’t put baby in the corner?” 

“Don’t you quote movies at me, you little fucker. That hurt,” Anton put his hands on his hips. 

“Oh, you don’t say? You punched me in the nose, that hurt too,” Natalia charged forward, and Anton quickly put his hands up to grab her fist in his own and then he shrieked and pushed her back. She got back up and they once again started trading blows, all while Anton tried to soothe her and keep her from hurting herself in the process of defeating him. Eventually, they both looked tired. 

They had sat down for snacks and ‘love talk’ at three-ish, and the fight broke out fifteen minutes later. It was almost seven in the evening, and they were still hanging on to their fight, rushing on adrenaline and the desire to ‘win,’ despite this not being a real battle anymore. 

From the door leading to the dining room, Pepper entered the room and James quickly pulled her back to the wall with him. 

“They’ve almost tired each other down. Give them ten minutes and maybe they will finally get some sleep tonight,” he whispered to her, and she nodded her head without verbalizing anything. Her hesitant glance at him and then the two assassins mid-battle told him that she was concerned for all of them, not just Anton, despite what she would claim. She steeled herself, her knees locking as she held her hands together in front of her like the stern Headmistress from the Red Room but much prettier. 

Anton groaned when Natalia jammed her knee into his ribs, before he grabbed her knee and forced her back, pushing her to the ground and then attempting to move to put her in a headlock, but Natalia managed to dig her heel into his back hard enough to hurt because he made a pained noise before he slammed his fist against her cheek. Pepper gasped and covered her mouth, and both Anton and Natalia looked up at that sound. They jumped up and put their hands behind their backs, staring at their feet. James took a few steps forward when it seemed they didn’t quite feel like stopping, if the clenching of Natalia’s jaw and the tenseness in Anton’s shoulders was anything to go by. 

“ _ Zakonchit’ chto ty nachal _ (finish what you started).” 

Natalia and Anton took two steps back and lunged for each other once again. In a matter of seconds, they were both on the floor, trying to get the upper hand. James, after a second, realized exactly what had just happened and he took a few steps back. He was not going to do this anymore. He didn’t want it, he  _ didn’t _ ! He didn’t want to fight anymore, and their fight had evolved from a friendly fight to a battle, and he had only egged them on. He felt hands on him and he turned around, only to see Pepper looking up at him. 

“What just happened?” 

“I… I don’t know,” the sounds of their fighting was drowned out by the ringing in his ears. Pepper was focused on whatever was happening behind his back. She could have been speaking, he didn’t really know, he didn’t really care either. Pepper was nice, but he was trying to convince himself it’s better to just watch, to not participate lest he rekindle his desire. There was also a bit of panic happening because what if he decided it was best to start fighting again? He had control, now, but it was hard because what happens when he makes a horrible mistake? That’ll be all on him, and to the majority of the world, his skills are best kept hidden and away. He’s  _ dangerous _ . 

“Victory is mine!” He could hear behind him. It was Anton, of course, because that was not something Natalia would say. 

“What the hell, Tony?” Pepper asked, walking past him. James turned to see Anton and Natalia, both beat up badly, back’s flat against the ground. Natalia was regaining consciousness, and Anton was looking up at Pepper like a scolded child. “I know this is fun for you, but this is not an appropriate use of the dining room. I’m not your mother, Tony, but this was dangerous for both of you. You have a sparring room, please use it. FRIDAY, where is the nearest first aid kit?” 

“In the second drawer beneath the coffee machine,” Pepper nodded at the closest sensor, and  walked to the kitchen. The door swung behind her, a reminder that they were now under Pepper’s control. She really did make a great nurse, but living with Anton for so long required that skill to be employed often, no doubt. Pepper came back and patched both Natalia and Anton’s wounds, cleaning and disinfecting them despite the half-healed state they were already in. While she swabbed and dabbed at their wounds with disinfectant, and then taped bandages and applied sticky band aids to them, Pepper stayed silent. Her concern hidden in her eyes as she gazed upon both Anton and Natalia with care and fear. She looked up at him. 

“Did you instigate this fight, James?” 

“No…” James was sure he knew what she was going to say. “But I should have stopped it before it got this bad?” 

“Well, no. They are the most stubborn people I have ever met. Brick walls, the both of them. I was going to ask if you could try and keep them contained? I’ve heard plenty of stories about you, and I’m sure it’s within your skill set to keep them from killing each other or irreparably maiming each other,” Pepper packed the things back into the box before standing with grace that he didn’t see many women have anymore. Of course, that was the sort of trained grace that came with aristocracy, so he wondered if she just picked it up… “We will watch a movie tonight, instead of training. Natasha and I will reschedule for tomorrow evening, and tonight we should all just relax. Due to my efforts and work exerted in taking care of the three of you, I get to pick the movie.” 

Anton groaned, and Natalia glared at Anton before staring at her bandaged knuckles. They were likely fully healed by now, they weren’t as bad as they used to get, but nobody made any move to remove the bandages. 

“Don’t you groan at me. We’re watching  _ Terminator Judgement Day _ , and nobody will say anything differently.” 

“You’re not going to force me to sit through  _ The Silence of the Lambs _ again? Who are you and what did you do to sweet Pepper?” 

“Only you would think  _ The Silence of the Lambs _ is boring,” Pepper helped both Anton and Natalia up. Pepper took both of their hands and led them from the dining room. James followed behind them, once again just observing. The three sat on the couch together, Pepper between them, and James sat on the chair to the side. 

They were almost finished with the movie, and James had to admit he liked the movie. He was shocked to look at Pepper to find both Anton and Natalia asleep on her shoulders, both holding onto her, by the time the credits were rolling. 

“Would you mind helping me with them? I don’t want them to sleep on the couch and no matter how comfortable this couch is. I also prefer my bed,” James assisted, gently prying both Natalia and Anton’s hands from her and then resting them against the back cushions while Pepper stood up. She turned to look at the sleeping assassins and smiled. “I’m angry at her, you know, but I am very glad she is good to Tony. I was this close,” she pinches her fingers, just barely apart, “to finding her and the others and killing them myself, but here we are. You’re good for him, too. You’re good for both of them. I don’t think you give yourself enough credit. Earlier, when you said whatever it was you said, you could have had two very tense and angry fighters ready to hit anything that moved to try and prove themselves stronger, but you managed to not only keep them from attacking bystanders, like me, but you let them tire each other out, and now they’re finally sleeping. Neither of them, from what I’ve been told and seen, sleep well. They needed this.”  

He wouldn’t have been so surprised had Pepper not been there, or even himself. Sleeping made one vulnerable, and he had moved both of them around and they had yet to wake up. That took a lot of trust. Trust that he didn’t think he deserved, but had somehow earned anyhow. 

“I can carry them both, if you would like. You can go get some rest.” 

“Oh, that’s very sweet of you James, but I think I’ll carry Natasha. Angry, yes, but she is lighter than Tony and I know I’m stronger, but I’m scared to wake him up by not being able to carry his weight despite my new enhancements,” she slipped her arms under Natalia’s knees and shoulders and picked her up as if she weighed nothing. It was odd to see since he often forgot that Pepper was enhanced in any way. She smiled and walked towards Natalia’s room with the woman in her arms. 

James picked Anton up, holding him in a similar way. In his arms, Anton was much lighter than anyone his age and height should be. Natalia and Pepper had both spoken of his disregard for his health, but he had thought them to be over exaggerating. It was decided then that James would now assist in the peculiar plans both Pepper and Natalia had, separately, tried to get him to assist with in order to ‘care’ for Anton. 

He had never been to Anton’s room, he hadn’t wanted to intrude on the few moments that Anton spent there. The engineer was almost always in the workshop, so he hadn’t needed to seek out his room to find him either. He hesitantly opened the door, holding Anton at an odd angle, but still trying to keep him from waking. He pushed the door open gently and pulled the blankets out from under the side of the covers with one hand before tucking him beneath them. 

James joined Pepper in the living room. 

“Goodnight,” she said. Before he could return the words, she had already walked off to her bedroom. Her bedroom door shut in the distance, and now that everyone was asleep, he folded the blankets around the living room and went to Anton’s library, the room directly above his own and beside where Anton was asleep. He turned on the main light and walked to the chair he liked. It was soft, but it wasn’t too soft. There was a table beside it piled with books. He turned the lamp on over the chair and looked through the books he had chosen to read, or had already read. He had a list, but it grew too long to be effective, this was the solution. 

In ten hours, he had managed to finish a novel and a half, which he thought was pretty decent. That was also the time that Anton shuffled out of his room. He didn’t expect Anton to come into the library, he rarely visited this room, but he peeked his head in a moment later. 

“Oh, sorry. Just wondered if you were here, ‘cause the light was on. Anyway, good morning, Snowflake! Did you get any sleep?” Anton stepped into the room, still in his wrinkled clothes he had fallen asleep in. He returned the greeting before thinking over if he should admit to having yet another sleepless night or to lie. He decided quickly. 

“I did not,” he slid an old receipt he had found on the floor and had been using as a bookmark since between the pages and shut the book, setting it aside. “I will make breakfast, though, if you don’t mind. What do you want?” James didn’t miss Anton’s smile, or the subtle look over before Anton started telling him exactly what he wanted. Thankfully, it was all food related and didn’t go anywhere near the typical explicit sex fantasies that James was sure were made up most of the time for shock value. Anton was down the stairs, and he followed behind him, not bothering to run. 

The coffee pot rumbled as it started to heat the water. Well, that was curious. Since when did Anton speak to anyone before coffee? 


	7. Tony's POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James brings the tradition of 'victory prizes' back, and Tony falters. 
> 
> FRIDAY let's Tony know just how interested and curious James has been. Surnames are discussed. 
> 
> Natalia and Tony have training, that's going to be fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really want to just post the next chapter, but I need to wait. I want to make this a serial-like thing, like old penny dreadfuls or something. Webnovels do that, so I'm trying it -- but to be honest, I'm not too good at it.
> 
> Anyway, be prepared, because soon, it's gonna get romantic, and that's gonna be... interesting. 
> 
> While we wait for romance, please enjoy some playful (and not-so-playful) violence, or at least the beginning of it.

Tony’s POV

Food that wasn’t takeout was better than he remembered. He walked around the dining room, having gotten himself a cup of coffee, and one for James who had already drained it and made breakfast in the process. So, maybe toast and eggs weren’t good to most people, but considering James made it, and he made it for Tony alone, was enough to make it taste better. Also, if he was going to spend two hundred dollars on breakfast, he wanted waffles and crepes with fruit, not eggs and toast. This was a rare treat for Tony. 

Considering that James had tested his skills at baking, and been very good at it, he suspected that James had silently taken over the kitchen entirely, which was fine. More than fine. If it made him happy, it would make everyone in his house happy. He really enjoyed it, having a house and a family. It was nice, even if he and Natasha tended to fight because didn’t most siblings? Of course, their fights involved more blood and following through on some gruesome threats, but hey, tomayto-tomahto, right? 

“We really made a mess,” he said. It was true, there were many holes in his walls and was that crack in his travertine flooring? That must have been Natasha (hurt by his hands) because that would really have hurt, and he didn’t remember experiencing any excruciating pain and dizziness occurring during their competition. 

“Did you have fun?” Tony looked up at James. His little pacifist asking if beating the hell out of his chosen-sister and getting the shit beat out of him was fun? That was a weird question, and he was tempted to offer James an invite to the next knock-down drag-out, but that seemed a little tactless, even for him. Should he admit that yeah, he actually had fun? 

“Yes…” Tony pushed his empty plate a few inches toward the center of the table. “Is that wrong? I mean, I do lots of things that could considered ‘wrong,’ but was that too far?” Why did James have that tense jaw and nervously twitching lip and cheek? What had he said? He didn’t think anything was offensive, not yet. It was too early to be offending people… actually, throwing around insults were perfectly acceptable at any time, but his family didn’t deserve his insults, especially when he knew enough about all of them to know where to strike to make them hurt the worst. 

“No. It’s not wrong, at least I don’t think so. Isn’t that how you were raised to deal with everything? To fight first and ask questions later unless explicitly stated otherwise? To be fair, you both did stop fighting about three hours into your showdown, but neither of you had won. I knew that neither of you would have been comfortable without claiming a proper victor, so I… instructed you to finish your fight, and you did.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

“What?” James’ self-hating eyes, glaring at his hands as if they were going to attack without his permission (which, considering the past fifteen years, would be a perfectly acceptable fear), jerked up to look at Tony. At James’ furrowed brows, Tony furrowed his own. This wasn’t like two guys whipping out the rulers and unzipping their pants to measure their dicks, this was more like those moments where someone says something unexpected and everyone looks at them as if they never would have expected it. Tony was sure he apologized often enough, why was it so weird? 

“I said: I’m sorry,” Tony motioned to the dining room, all banged up behind him. “That mess, wasn’t you, and you made the right move, too. I mean, you’ve seen what happened when the guys were torn apart mid-fight, right? They would wait until a perfect moment to strike, causing a fight to start in a dangerous and uncontrolled area like the bathroom. Really, you were doing what you knew worked. All I’m saying is, whatever guilt you’re feeling, you don’t have to feel that way. I’m letting you know that whether you told us to finish it or not, one of us would have won eventually, you just put an end to it quicker than most. Also, it was safer that way. Best kept a dining room disagreement, than possible sabotage when we have important things to do together.” 

“I didn’t think of it like that… but I didn’t mean to… command you, I guess. I’m not your instructor anymore, and you don’t have to listen to me. I have no sway or say in what you do or not. I’m just thankful that you aren’t angry at me.” 

“You can train me anytime, sugar. In all seriousness, James, I don’t think there are better people to instruct us than you and Pepper. I trust you, and I’m sure Tasha feels something similar. Of course, she’d never admit it even though we all know she’s just a big ol’ softie on the inside. We trust you, and Pepper (bless her beautiful soul), to lead us in the right direction. I know, it’s a big deal, and asking first would have been better, but--” 

“I understand. I won’t abuse that trust,” James looked so soft with his man bun and bare feet, like a giant teddy bear that had the ability to take over an entire country overnight, but didn’t use those abilities, prefering to cuddle and make others happy than to hurt them. 

_ You’re so perfect _ , he wanted to say,  _ but please let me get you a clean shirt and show you the shower because your hair is dirty, sweetheart _ . Tony stood up, picking up his plate. 

“You want more coffee?” 

“No, thanks,” James then stood up and took his cup to the sink and washed it while Tony followed and waited to do the same. James took his plate, cup, and fork and washed them too, as if he was doing it on autopilot rather than really focusing. Speaking of washing dishes, Tony was staring at him and lost in thought. He would do anything for-- “Anton?” 

“Hmm?” 

“Just making sure you’re okay,” James turned back around and put his hands against the counter and sink to lean back. “Today is you and Natalia’s physical training, and Pepper rescheduled to also train today… could I,” he paused, “this is going to sound weird, but could I  _ watch _ ?” 

“Sure. You can choose the music, I’m just that nice today. Also, you could join if you wanted, but I’m not gonna push that. When or if you feel comfortable sparring again, then you just have to ask. Well, you could just jump in, but to refrain getting punched, I’d ask. Uh… speaking of training, I did win last night. I do remember my most delicious victory.” 

“You did,” James smiled, “so what would you like to recompense your  _ most delicious victory _ ?” 

“Oh, jeez, so many things…” he sighed, and looked at James before looking up at the ceiling. That was safe territory, the ceiling. James, not so much (he didn’t want to scare him by staring at him). “Well, today is going to be an all day training sort of thing. Tash and I decided to get back up to what we used to do. Ya know, thirteen hour, minimum, sessions. No weapons allowed, no gloves and someone to make sure we don’t die during our practice.” 

“Yes, I assumed it would be similar to Department X’s programs,” James pushed away from the sink, and in seconds was aware of how close James was, and he would have taken a step back but that could bad for two reasons. One, it could be perceived as weakness, and two, he really liked being this close to James even if it was just looking. Ceiling be damned, Tony focused, looking up at James where he looked down at him with something not as shark-like as the Winter Soldier, but not as roguish-but-chivalrous smirk from the Bucky of the forties. It was… like he was actually having fun or being happy. “Will Pepper watch the entire day?” 

“Uh, no.” 

“Then you need someone to supervise and keep you from fatally wounding each other? I may not want to fight, but… that doesn’t mean I don’t like it. You don’t have sex every night, but I’m sure you still enjoy that,” James waved his hand and took a step closer, only this time, Tony had to mentally and physically restrain his reaction. He tensed just enough and tried to look stronger than he felt. God, he wanted to have sex every night, just not with strangers. Not men he had to pay off and force to sign agreements to keep their time quiet and out of the media and women who also wanted sex but he wasn’t really satisfied with. It had been about being a Stark, not entirely because he enjoyed it all the time. Although, he did feel cared for, like he mattered, but that was different. That was trauma-based, he was sure. 

“S-sure, you can watch all day. That’d be great, actually,” he crossed his arms over his chest. Why hadn’t James moved? Why was he still standing so close to him? What did he want? 

“Your victory prize, Anton?” 

“Ah, haha, funny story, really, but I don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable or anything. I’ll just hold onto it, like a bit of blackmail against Tasha or something. Ya know, collecting favours, it was sort of a skill all of us learned, I just don’t use that part of my training all the time,” James’ smile faded ever so slightly, no longer happy, but there to keep the impression he was feeling better than his eye made him seem. James side stepped around Tony. 

“Blackmail her at your own risk. She was very close to winning, too. I’ll see you at ten in the training room?” 

“Y-yeah, right, I’ll keep that in mind. And, yeah, I’ll see you, uh, then.” 

There were so many expletives he would have prefered to tell himself, preferably near a mirror, really make a point to himself. He was a genius, but he was such an idiot! Tony sighed and took James’ place against the sink. He looked at FRIDAY’s sensor nearest to him this time. 

“Take it from me, FRIDAY. Take what you can while you have it or it’ll walk out of the kitchen and leave you to think of how obvious it was, but how dumb you are for not taking the chance being offered on a silver platter.” 

“ _ I will keep that in mind, Da. One thing, though, the platter, if we were speaking of Mr. James, was actually a mixture of titanium, aluminum, and steel, as well as alloys composed of different mixtures of those metals, not silver. _ ” 

“It’s too early to be sassing me, refrain until my second cup of coffee, sugar,” Tony decided coffee was actually a very good idea and got himself another cup. “Also, why is he ‘Mr. James?’ Wouldn’t it be Barnes or something?” Perhaps this was invading James’ privacy, but… it really wasn’t hidden if FRIDAY had it. She was pretty much his eyes and ears when he wasn’t there in person. 

“ _ Mr. James notified me that he does not believe he is either appropriate to take over the Barnes name, but he would not have any mention of HYDRA. He asked of possible surnames for himself could be. He laughed a few times, but I think he may choose a suitable name within a year. _ ” 

“Mmm, tell me what suggestions you gave,” Tony walked to the dining room, which was less of a dining room, and more of a table shoved in the back of the kitchen and behind the counter separating the two ‘rooms’. Why would he need a functional dining room when, at the time of designing this place, he didn’t expect anyone to ever eat at the table anyway? Plus, it’s cozier that way. 

He sat down on a chair before crossing his legs. He had just been there, and James had been with him, and the holes in the walls were… well, they had really done a number on the room. He’d call someone in to fix it, or maybe he’d just do it himself. Depending on how social he wanted be, the way to go about it may change. 

“ _ Well, I gave him a list of names from all over the world. Most common surnames. Examples: Smith, Garcia, Rossi, Novak, Fernandez, Smirnov, Muhammed, Silva, Kumar, Muller, Gonzalez, Cohen, Nguyen, Khan, Rodriguez, Wang, Anderson, Yilmaz, Traore, Ivanov, Lopez, Papadopulos, and Kim… but I also gave him a few others based on… things. _ ” 

“Two observations: first, I’ve read that article on common surnames. Did you read him the list in order? What was his reaction, and do we have it on video? Second, you are purposely avoiding the other names, and I think I know why… but tell me anyway, and I’ll just hope I’m wrong until you prove me otherwise.” 

“ _ Mr. James agreed that the aforementioned names would not make much sense, so I mentioned a few names of people he knows. The names were: Romanov, Rhodes, and Potts… and then I suggested he take your name. _ ” 

“Oh my god… w-what was his reaction?” 

“ _ Mr. James proceeded to ask me questions about your interests, _ ” Tony paused, because that was  _ not _ what he thought he would hear. Tony made a continue movement with his hand, not sure if he would be able to speak without something showing, and he didn’t want to scare FRIDAY with some emotions. “ _ He asked me who your favourite author was, your favourite foods, your favourite bands, you’re favourite scientists, your favourite colour, as well as your favourite movie and prefered genre _ .” 

“Did you suggest anything to urge him to ask those things?” 

“ _ I mentioned that you also enjoyed the James Cameron’s works, as well as your distaste for most comedy because the jokes relied on the characters being stupid rather than truly witty or clever _ ,” that didn’t sound as bad as he thought FRIDAY would have said. He nodded, those things were true. He’d put that away for later. “ _ Oh, and that your favourite knife is a Cold Steel Recon One Tactical Knife and your favourite rifle was a not a Stark Industries weapon, but an SA80 A2 L85 Assault Rifle. _ ” 

Tony choked on his coffee. 

“He’s a basically a pacifist. Well, not in idea, but in action. He doesn’t want to fight or anything, he just wants to relax, and I can’t blame him, but… what was his reaction?” 

“ _ Mr. James told me he was going to his room and asked if I would refrain from any sort of recording. I told him that I do not record in personal spaces without explicit permission. We had this conversation in the library six weeks ago. He hasn’t mentioned it since, _ ” that sounded… not very realistic. He also thought that James got off to the idea of guns and knives, which he could relate with, but that didn’t really make sense. He decided that it didn’t matter, and he only thought of sex was because he wanted to sex James up. 

_ Did you just use the term’sex up’ outside of a joke? Or worse, did you just  _ think _ about it? _ He thought. He finished he coffee, and looked at the time. It was eight, so he still had a few hours. He wasn’t sure how to respond to FRIDAY, so he just brought up things around the rest of the compound with her as he walked to his room to get in some sweats. There was no way he was going to fight in clothes if he didn’t have to. Missions, he could work with, but just to practice? There was no way he would be caught in anything but sweats and socks; that’s just how things worked. He popped into the lab to say goodmorning to DUM-E and U before he told them that he he’d be gone for the day, but he would carve time out to spend with them specifically. 

In the gym-slash-sparring room, since half of it was more gym like and the other covered in mats so they wouldn’t get too banged up during practice. Natasha was already there dressed in sweats and stretching. He didn’t see James, and Pepper would be by later since she went to deal with SI before coming back to get dressed down and learn under Natasha’s tutelage. 

It was a quarter to ten, and Tony already wanted to jump straight into it, from Natasha’s tensing shoulders, straightening of her back, and then turning to smirk at him, all predatory with the her teeth showing, but also was just a bit too much to be polite, so did she. Tony knew that, despite this being their first official ‘practice’ together, Natasha wanted to get back at him for knocking her out and claiming victory. She was going to be fighting as hard as she could, not holding out in the slightest, and he was  _ not _ the better fighter. In fact, he liked to claim the previous victory a fluke because he wasn’t the super-trained martial artist. He had enough to do more than the Cap and probably Barton and Wilson, but in all honesty, he was about to get beat into the floor. Training, in his youth, with the Winter Soldier typically led to hiding in the bathroom to get off as many times as possible. Things like dopamine and serotonin were released, and he felt better after getting his ass handed to him. There would be no post-fight wank session because how would he explain that away? Also, no offense to Natasha, but she was not sexy in a ‘I want to fuck you way,’ it was a ‘you’re hot, but I will one up you because I’m hot too’ sort of way that brought out the competitiveness he usually passed off as a joke. 

Also, last night he got his victory, but now she knew almost his entire martial skillset. The only way he could make this work, is if he tried something he never really did well in earlier and hope for the best, or he could pray to the heavens to make this work because he didn’t want to get knocked out. He wanted another victory, despite how low the odds were in his favour. Thankfully, he had watched the Soldier train kids for years before he actually was taught, so he would just use some of the techniques that the other boys were taught. 

“The Soldier called us last night, do you remember?” She asked, moving to stand on the mats. He walked to stand in front of her. 

“Yeah. Sort of upset I didn’t use my chance to jump him though… not in the mean ‘get robbed’ sort of way, I mean I want that man to hold me down and jerk me off with his metal arm. What a beautiful image! Been the best material I’ve had since puberty.” 

“If I have to hear a sex fantasy one more time I will… well, I’ll start recording it to blackmail you. FRIDAY’s with me on this, she’s my official niece now and she can help a girl out, ya know?” Tony put his hands on his hip. 

“You would use  _ my child _ to blackmail me? Oh, FRIDAY, my precious sweet girl, you should take every lesson from Natasha as if it were gospel because she knows what she’s doing. I have first hand experience, and it’s awesome… not what you expected my response to be, was it?” Natasha smiled, this time less like she wanted to cut him up and make him into beef jerky, but more of the amused smile when kids bicker over cookies, or what Tony imagined that would be like. “Anyway, James said he’d be here to supervise, ya know, so we don’t kill each other or anything,” Tony looked around, briefly, and shrugged his shoulders, “I can detail the next best fantasy if you want. It sort of involves some information FRIDAY told him. So you know about the aesthetic weapons closet? Well, there’s a beauti--” 

“SA80 A2 L85 Assault Rifle?” Tony jumped and then there was a thump against the ground behind him. Well, that wasn’t good. How long had he been relaxing and listening in? He should just stop talking about things in general, maybe he wouldn’t be caught saying weird things… well, actually, he’d rather be caught saying weird things than have to keep his silence, so the world would just have to deal with it.  

“Where were you hiding?” 

“The rafters,” Tony looked up. Alright, so he didn’t expect for James to take it upon himself to get thirty feet in the air and climb on one of those. The gym ceiling was tall for gymnastics or whatever. He was actually pretty good at gymnastics. He was short and relatively less bulky than most of the others. Honestly, the dodging part of fighting was his specialty, it was everything else he wasn’t trained so much with. Also, he may have not been paying full attention in training but got away with it because he could do the jobs that eighty technicians could for free and have fun with it. It was easy to learn that they liked him more than most of the techs who usually complained and required payment.  “I was… reading?” Well, that was a lie. James hadn’t really been reading, but what else could he do up the rafters? Natasha had been in here stretching, that’s probably super boring to watch. Maybe he finally decided to use his phone or something. 

“So, should I continue my story or not? I’m cool with whatever.” 

“We should start, it’s almost ten. We get knocked unconscious, we get revived, James keeps score of who wins the rounds, no time limit. Well, James calls it when he decides it’s over. It’s just the best we can do, and how well we can do it. Then, we will figure out a way to train to fix any holes in our techniques, got it?” Natasha said, looking at James and moving her head toward the are he could sit to watch. 

“Got it,” Tony watched James walk to the side of the area. He crossed his arms, and Tony looked back to see Natasha ready to fight. She leaped forward. “Nya-g-nuh!” Tony stepped to the side. “What kind of noise was  _ that _ ? Nat! I wasn’t ready!” 

“The fight isn’t gonna wait for you to be ready. Be ready all the time,” Natasha went to kick him in the cheek. He grabbed her ankle and pulled her up. In the process, she flipped and kicked him with the other foot. Alright, this was going to be a long day… despite the effort, he was actually terribly excited to finally be doing this again. It sounded like he was some warmonger, but he really loved this. It was like home, not with the Starks, but where people didn’t think he was garbage, with people who encouraged him to be better. For their own purposes, of course, but he would have done anything to stay where they at least treated him as a human being with some modicum of respect. He never got that from Howard or Maria. This, violence and things that would make most people terrified of getting in league with them, was what he really missed, but the way it brought everyone together, that is what he had loved about Department X. 

Instead of spying for a country, they were learning to be better to get revenge, and that was just as good in Tony’s book. He just hoped with everything in him that this would last. That it wouldn’t break, like the Wolf Spider Ops, or disband after numerous failures in recreating the originals, like the Black Widows Ops. This, everything with Natasha, and his kids, and Pepper, and James… he didn’t want to ever be deprived of this again. 

Neither the Latrodectus group of spiders were considered social, and Nephila weren’t known for sexual cannibalism, but they were more likely to remain in single-spider webs and go about their business. Social spiders existed and lived in groups that functioned very well, almost like an ant colony or bee hive. Let’s just hope this family lasted a bit longer than the typical colony and hive. They were all enhanced, and they were going to be living a long time. Hopefully, it was together. 


	8. James' POV - Natalia's POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thirteen hours of training.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, there's an '8.5' part of this chapter, but to be fair, I didn't think that it was complete without it, but I didn't think Natalia's part had enough to stand as its own chapter. 
> 
> Also, major writer's block. This will go on hiatus, probably around nine (which I'm posting after this because the update is late).

James’ POV

They had been fighting for three hours, and Natalia had nearly gotten Anton, but he wriggled out of it and continued. Then, just as Anton kicked Natalia in the back of the knee, forcing her down, she grabbed his arm and threw him over her before snapping his arm and using her knee to cut off his oxygen just enough to knock him unconscious for a few seconds before jolting back up. 

James started the victory count with one point to Natalia. Before Anton woke up, about ten seconds later, he snapped the bone back in place and walked back to where he had been standing. To say that Anton was upset was a bit of an understatement. Natalia seemed all the more eager for the fight, and they once again engaged. They had begin to drag at six hours, which most of the young spiders did when they first started training. James saw them both making up for their tiredness with moments where they stopped to breathe, taking each other in, before one of them tried to attack first. It was smart, and technically no one submitted since they both refused to take any rest period that wasn’t still  _ technically _ considered part of the match. 

It was nearing the eighth hour, and Natalia had dropped Anton once more, and Anton had gotten her down as well. She, unlike Anton, got back up as soon as she was conscious and compensated her dizziness and swaying, from regaining consciousness, with moments where she just moved out of Anton’s way, letting Anton soon discover the pattern. Instead of compensating for his reaction to being dropped and getting up, Anton seemed to have an immunity to that recover time unlike Natalia, and he just dove back in. Them getting hit and falling unconscious seemed to have given their enhanced bodies enough rest to continue without relying so much on near-pointless circling. 

At eight in the evening, Pepper joined them in the gym. She stood a foot behind his left shoulder and watched them fight. She seemed impressed, and made appropriately concerned sounds when either of them landed or were hit with a blow that would normally hurt a normal human too much for them to continue. They were back up in seconds and ready to retaliate just as quick. Three points to Natalia, and two to Anton; they had another three hours to finish, but James was starting to think that he should just let them tire themselves out. Then again, he knew that neither of them would back down until he called the last hit and announced the victor. They could, potentially, continue until they couldn’t physically keep up with the exertion and pass out on the floor. He would prefer that something like that was avoided, so he would call time at eleven. 

“Is there a score or something?” Pepper asked, speaking up for the first time since she had arrived. 

“Yes. Three to two, Natalia’s winning,” he didn’t look back at her despite feeling her eyes lingering on him. He believed she was a scary woman, but no matter how scary anyone got, he had seen terrible things, he had  _ committed  _ terrible crimes, and although she was enhanced, it would take a bit more than a glare to truly frighten him. Yes, he could shy away, but that was best for everyone involved. Nobody needed to see him retaliate for a perceived slight, and he wouldn’t jump to hurt anyone despite the reason to want to injure them. He didn’t want to do that anymore… but he missed it. Pepper had nothing on him, and he was sure in a fight he would win. Her staring didn’t bother him as much as it would others. 

“How long have they been fighting?” 

“Almost eleven hours.” 

“Oh my goodness! How are they still functioning?” James didn’t answer her before she answered herself. “Enhanced, obviously. That was a stupid question.” He didn’t comment. 

Anton held Natalia down, a hand holding her shoulders down and the other wrapped around her throat. She bit him, and unlike her, he didn’t react before moving his arm on her shoulders just enough to elbow her in the back of the head. She was rendered unconscious for a few moments while Anton gathered himself and walked back to his original position on the mats. Three to three, and there were two hours left. He wanted to say Natalia would win. She had always been far better than any of the others, but as he was remembering more and more, he remembered Anton’s ability to pick up on patterns and use them against his opponents. He took down several of the remaining boys, once James was asked to train him, despite having been trained for a significantly shorter time. It was really either of them, but he was sure Natalia would win this one. She had a smirk curling her lips and that typically meant unpleasant things were about to occur. 

There was another long period of silence save the grunts and harsh breathing of the fighters. There was a snap of another bone, followed by another. First, Natalia punched Anton in the shin, snapping it out of place. That looked painful. Anton turned around and crushed her collarbone under his fingers before Natalia picked him up with her uninjured arm and threw him to the left of the door, where James and Pepper were watching. Anton rolled and hissed, reaching down to fumble a second before snapping the bone protruding into his calf muscle with a pained groan. Natalia used his moment of inattention and kicked his side. He flipped over and attempted to force his way back up, but Natalia had grabbed his arms and held them back, she dug a heel into his lower back until he lay flat. 

“Will you surrender, or should I continue?” Anton’s response was a grunt and struggle, so Natalia gripped the front of his throat, and cut off his circulation enough to knock him out. Upon Natalia’s victory, he made sure she knew she was the winner. 

“You won by a single point,” he then got down to make sure Anton didn’t injure himself further, because despite their accelerated healing, a bone’s sharp edges being forced into muscle tissue hurt more than most other injuries. Pepper got beside Anton’s side, and fretted with a high pitched voice only slightly raised to indicate her frustration. When Anton woke up, he looked up to see James, and James saw him. Looking up, face covered in sweat, lips bitten and the skin ripped off, rapidly fading bruises and bloodshot eyes. 

_ “Nephila and Dolomedes are not in their beds. We are conducting a search. Bring Nephila here immediately. He is being moved to a secure location and Dolomedes… take him to Karpov as soon as Nephila is in his new room,” the man, a guard relatively little compared to the others, sent him away. He was to take Nephila to section C and secure him in room 61 rather than section B which was a dormitory-like room with rows of beds and little privacy.  _

_ He passed frantic officers and workers, running around and shouting at each other. He ignored them until he came across two men stationed outside of section B.  _

_ “Has anyone checked the entirety of section B?”  _

_ “Why waste the time? They’re probably trying to escape again. You know them, they’re stupid,” James smashed his fist through the man’s visor and against his nose which shattered under his knuckles. The other guard slid the few feet to the other and called in the incident while James walked through the room. He could agree that any other child would have tried to escape, but he knew that Anton loved it here. In fact, he mentioned it a few times when he was stationed to guard him in the science labs or when they needed to gather information he could get faster. He had only just began teaching the boy how to fight like the others, and he was already excelling as if he had many more years of training. He was, by far, no idiot and he wouldn’t leave his  _ home _ here at Department X. _

_ The other boys were all awake, handcuffed to their metal bed frames, and they stared at him, not bothering to hide their twitches and fear. He walked to the bed beside Nephila’s, and right above Dolomedes’. He stayed a few inches away, but he was good at being scary when he needed to be (which was most of the time).  _

_ “Where is Nephila?”  _

_ “He left with Dolomedes, we all saw them. They’re gone,” James walked closer to the boy, Niko, and grabbed his wrist.  _

_ “Tell me where they are, and I won’t snap your wrist.”  _

_ “They left!” James snapped his wrist, Niko curled up as he cried, drawing his body up to the metal bed frame to attempt and soothe his wrist with the other hand still cuffed to the frame. “They went to fuck in the bathroom.” James walked away. “Hey! You can’t just leave! You broke my wrist, you bastard!” Niko’s cries echoed the tall and vast room, but James didn’t look back. He never cared for Niko anyway. He was difficult to teach and liked to tell the other boys that James was actually a spy sent in by America. The boys, when fed information like that from their ‘leader,’ tended to listen to ignore or disobey his instruction. He, however, snapped a few bones and they stopped listening to Niko’s lies, but it was still irritating.  _

_ He pushed the bathroom door open. It was communal, but there were a few screens up in certain areas. It wasn’t hard to find the ‘missing’ boys. How nobody else heard Dolomedes’ moans, he had no idea. He had heard it from as far as three feet from the entrance. He followed it to one of the screened areas. He ripped the screen away, throwing it to the wall. He grabbed Nephila by the collar of his sleep shirt. He threw him over his shoulder, held with his metal arm and ignoring Nephila’s arousal pressing into his shoulder. It wasn’t too difficult, Nephila was fourteen, too young to be considered anything more than a student -- a prodigy. Dolomedes was grabbed by the front of his collar and dragged him behind him on the floor.  _

_ “No! No! Stop, it’s my fault, it’s my fault. You’re gonna hurt him. It’s my fault!”  _

_ “Do you know what they will do to you, Nephila?”  _

_ “N-no. W-what are they gonna do? Please don’t make me leave, I will never do anything bad again. Don’t give me back, please don’t. I’m the best engineer here, they need. Don’t make me leave. Don’t let them make me leave!” James sighed, because out of all the boys, Nephila was always different. Where Dolomedes, the most relaxed and nonchalant Wolf Spider, was panicking and trying to force James to drop him, Nephila was holding onto him and just limply resting against him as if he couldn’t kill every single budding agent within seconds.   _

_ Nephila pulled himself back, and leaned the best he could to look at James, holding himself on his own by James’ shoulder.  _

_ “They won’t send you back. They will either punish you severely, or they will terminate you.”  _

_ “I’m sorry. I was just…”  _

_ “ _ You’ll _ be fine.  _ You _ are right,  _ you _ are the best, and they won’t punish  _ you _ too hard. Termination seems silly in reality.  _ You’re _ too valuable,” James didn’t say anything when Nephila, Anton, cried on his shoulder.  _

_ “I love him, you c-can’t hurt him. It’s all my fault. He’s innocent.”  _

_ “Dolomedes will be punished accordingly,” that didn’t stop Anton from crying, and Dolomedes, Mikhail (Misha), only fought that much harder to break free, managing to flip himself over and try and through his weight off by pressing his feet to his arms and trying to force himself free. James didn’t let go, and he walked to section C room 61. “This is your new room, Nephila.”  _

_ “This is great, but… where is Misha going?”  _

_ “ _ Dolomedes _ is going to speak with General Karpov,” he set Nephila down, gently patting his back to get him to walk into the room. Nephila looked at him and then Dolomedes. Anton stood outside the door for a while before James had half the mind to push him into the room and drag Dolomedes to the general fast enough to have him hurting from the trip alone, but he didn’t. “You need to go inside, Anton. Go inside the room, and I will be back to fetch you in the morning.” Nephila looked at Dolomedes one more time before nodding and stepping back into the room and shutting the door behind him, holding and pushing the door softly to keep it from making too much noise.  _

_ He delivered Dolomedes to Karpov, and was sent to stand sentinel outside the office door in the possibility of Dolomedes escaping, or more likely to take him back to his room, or perhaps the infirmary. He ignored the screaming from the room behind him. It wasn’t his job to care, it was his job to instruct and teach the training agents how to be the best they could be. Sometimes, though, he forgot what he was there for, because he cared about Anton. He was so small, and he was so fragile compared to the others. It was… it wasn’t a conscious choice, but it was recognizable in his treatment of Nephila.  _

_ He went to Anton in the morning, and when he unlocked the door, Anton was sitting in the corner of the room.  _

_ “Is that blood?” James looked at his hands and realized they were indeed covered in blood. Anton didn’t walk, he crawled forward and stopped in front of him. His eyes were bloodshot, and he was sweating, and he gently took one of his hands and pressed it to his face, coating his cheek in blood. He looked as if he had been biting his chapped lips all night due to nerves. “Is it Misha’s?”  _

_ “Yes.”  _

_ “Is he alive?”  _

_ “Yes…”  _

_ “Does he want to be?” James hesitated, but answered Anton. It would be best to just tell him.  _

_ “No.”  _

James jerked back and fell, just only catching himself on his elbows before he crashed. Anton looked confused when he saw him staring at him. Of course he’d be confused, that wasn’t how he usually remembered things. He didn’t like that way of memories returning. Especially a memory like that. Natalia stopped cleaning her healing, but still bloody, knuckles with a cotton ball and rubbing alcohol. She looked up at him and raised an eyebrow before Anton stood, swaying this time. He quickly excused himself and walked out of the gym, wincing everytime he put pressure on his healing leg. 

Misha was Dolomedes. The same Misha that sent Anton a suicide note? He really hoped not. No wonder Anton felt like it was his fault, if that were the case. But, it hadn’t been Anton’s fault, the suicide. It was technically his idea to run to the bathroom as he remembered in small pieces, still sorting themselves out since they hadn’t been as clear or vivid as the memory recalled only moments ago, but it wasn’t Anton’s fault for anything beyond that. It felt wrong, too, because Anton, moments ago, looked so beautiful looking up at him covered in bruises and blood. 

Pepper quickly excused herself to go help Anton, and James took over her work to help Natalia patch up her healing injuries. When Pepper had left, Natalia was quick to grab his wrist to stop him. He reacted and grabbed her wrist and pushed it away, nearly breaking bones in the process. She knew something was wrong, but who didn’t? James did not want to talk about it, and Natalia may not push, but she would definitely be watching him more. He knew she had seen him around, reading or watching TV, but she also seemed to find him when he didn’t want to be found, like when he was up in the rafters earlier, or when he was gazing through the window into the weapon closet. 

“What was that about?” 

“I remembered a piece of my past. A piece that I would not like to discuss,” she didn’t comment and let him check her collarbone before he said it was healing as it should be. “I don’t know how to apologize, and I’m not sure if I should even attempt to…” 

“What was it about?” He shrugged, “Look, you don’t want to discuss it, maybe, but even though you may not want to discuss it, maybe you  _ need _ to talk to someone so they can help you make sense of the pieces. Here, you and I can talk here. It’s just you and me, and FRIDAY, but she’s a sweetheart and adores you.” 

“He was fourteen, and he and… _Misha_ were missing from their beds. I was asked to find them, so I did. Even then I was fond of Anton, he was so sweet it was hard not to like him, he just made everyone happy or at least he made -- makes -- me happy, and I took him to his new room, carried him, just… he stared up at me, the next morning, he looked so… he looked _beautiful_ , and he just looked so similar and… he shouldn’t have been attractive, he was _fourteen and_ _beaten_ , I shouldn’t have… I’m a terrible person.” 

“What happened with Misha?” 

“I dragged him behind me, and listened as General Karpov punished him for his trouble. Before that, Anton cried and begged me to not let his friend get hurt, but I didn’t want to help Dolomedes escape punishment, I didn’t… I was angry at him, and I shouldn’t have been. They were kids!” Natalia reached up to hold his shoulder with her uninjured arm. “In training, the next day, I can only remember it in flashes, but I was horrible to Dolomedes, uh, Misha, who was already injured from the previous night, and I didn’t hold back with Anton, I hurt him worse than I had before, and the worst part of it all was that Anton, despite being beaten and bruised beyond recognition, still tried to get me to pay attention to him, even if that attention was a broken wrist or a bruised eye… how can he even stand being around me?” 

Natalia looked at him for a while, watching his face for reactions he gave her freely. Why had he been so terrible? Why was he so wrong? Why? Eventually she stood up, and held out an arm to pull him up to his feet as well. He accepted it. 

“He’s not fourteen anymore, and he’s definitely very fond of you. You heard what he said. You should talk to him about it, about anything and everything. Out of all the people I’ve known, Tony is the most forgiving.  Sometimes it’s wrong how he’s so forgiving, but… he’s thirty-two now, and he would cut his lip open if it’d draw your attention. Unlike me, which I doubt is impossible for me to feel, he truly loves people. He loves you, he’s showing it the best he can. We’re all emotionally fucked up, but just trust me, and talk to him. He probably thinks the worst, and not about you. He probably thinks  _ he _ did something wrong.” 

Natalia was right. From what he had observed and remembered, Anton was always blaming himself. He took responsibility for issues he didn’t know about until the last minute, and he would take punishment to save others from the pain. James wasn’t sure if he was a masochist or just so broken that he truly believed everything that went wrong was his own fault. James walked by Pepper as he walked to the main house from the gym. She didn’t stop to look at him, as if she were angry. Natalia was going to have a fun time with her, that was for sure. Untrained as Pepper may be, she had power and potential, and not all of it came from Extremis. 

Walking intro the main area, the common place they all watched TV. The room that the entrance to the other side of the compound was found, he didn’t see Anton. He didn’t even hear him. He checked the first floor, and then the second. He didn’t go into the bedrooms on the second floor. That’s where Natalia, Jim, and the guest rooms were. He went to the third floor, and perhaps he should have checked there first, but he could sound from Anton’s bedroom. He didn’t open the door, and he took a moment standing outside the door to just try and guess what Anton was doing. Then, after minutes of a variety of sounds, he knocked on the door. The room went quiet from inside and then there were footsteps approaching from behind the door. The door, though, did not open. 

“Pepper?” 

“Uh, no. It’s James… can we talk?” 

“About what?” 

“…why did you run off?” James didn’t expect an answer, at least not right away. He was right, too, because Anton was silent for a good sixty seconds. 

“I’m weak, and… and that’s how you looked at me when you were upset and I didn’t know why, but I didn’t…” he sighed, “look. I’m sorry for freaking you out, it was nothing. Really, it wasn’t anything big.” 

“I remembered something,” James paused and the door knob turned, cracking open just enough for Anton to look at him. “I remembered the night you and Dolomedes went missing… and I was ashamed of myself for what I had done. I didn’t handle it right, and I’m sorry. You looked… do you remember that night?” Anton opened the door a little more and then nodded. “How do you remember it? Would you like me to tell you as I saw it?” 

“If you want. You don’t have to. I don’t want you to feel pressured or anything.” 

“There’s no pressure,” James ignored the slow movements of Anton’s as he shifted to slide out from behind the door. Partially because he didn’t understand why he wanted to be closer to him, especially now that he knew more of what he had done, and also because Anton still looked at beautiful as he did earlier, even without the blood and bruising. James gave him a summary followed by, “I think I was jealous, and that was definitely not appropriate but, that was what happened… and I sound horrible, but you’re so pretty when you’re hurt,” James flinched at his own voice, “you’re beautiful without it, but… you looked so vulnerable.” 

“That’s how you remember it?” Anton closed the door behind him before leaning against the door. “That’s pretty much how it happened. Except when you left other things happened. I couldn’t just sleep, not when I was terrified of my fate, of Misha’s fate, and annoyingly hard because we were sort of interrupted before I got any. Do you remember what happened after that?” James didn’t, and he shook his head, hoping that Anton would tell him. “The other boys avoided me, and Misha refused to speak to me or even look at me. He had stood up for me, Niko hated me and I had no idea why, probably because I was better than him, maybe because he knew I wouldn’t fight back. Misha didn’t attempt to help me again, and Niko blamed me for his broken wrist. I guess it was my fault after all, and James? I’m not angry about it anymore. It actually just makes me really sad. But now I… Can I go back on what I wanted, earlier? Can I still get a victory prize? From last night, or was that rescinded when Natasha won today?” 

“You still have it. You still won last night, that’s still your victory.” 

“Alright. Also, don’t hate me,” James was confused. He couldn’t hate Anton if he tried. He was going to ask why, but Anton stood up and pressed a kiss against his lips. At first, James didn’t respond, because was that really happening? Anton must have felt bad, maybe he thought he had upset him, but when Anton tried to pull back, mostly likely to apologize, James held a hand on his waist and kissed him back. When James pulled back to look at Anton, he was flushed and biting his lip now. 

“Is that all you want?” 

“I’m not sure if you really want to be considered a prize, but I didn’t really know how else to do it. Actually, you make me feel like a terrified thirteen year old, but it’s also a good feeling because it is… it’s like home. My old home, and now, here. My new home.” 

Despite not wanting to get sentimental, James really did like the sound of being part of Anton’s new home. It was selfish, too, in some ways. He would get to see and interact with his best students, and people he cared about, Anton’s adorable robots and sassy AI, he would be able to listen to Anton’s rants about how perfect Natalia and Pepper would be together… he would have stability that he hadn’t had, but craved for a very long time. It was too soon, he was sure, because they had only been reunited a month and a half ago, but before everything, James had loved and cared for Anton, but now he was sure that he loved Anton. It was a different way, since he wasn’t entirely attracted to Anton when he was younger, but despite the years of changes, he still could see the most stunning qualities and he was happy. Here, with people he was comfortable around, with Anton and Natalia, Pepper and the children. 

“I haven’t done anything romantic since before Department X was even an idea, but… I want to… date you?” 

“I would like that, but by agreeing to that, you’ve sort of volunteered to snuggle with me.” 

“I can’t wait,” James cupped Anton’s cheek with his prosthetic hand, “Also, I think I owe Natalia a fancy coffee or something. She told me to talk to you, and I’m very glad I did.” 

Two months ago, James had been running from Captain America and HYDRA for almost a year. He would have never suspected anything like this happening. He was sure he’d die before he ever connected with anyone again. He was broken, and he knew it. He was also dangerous, and he didn’t want to be, not for anyone beside himself again. Then, he was saved by his former students and now he was happy. A month and a half of people being nice and not being stressed out in every possible way was nice, and he wanted it to last. He wanted, so badly, for this to last. If it came to it, he could put ‘retired’ on break, because if he was ever put in a position where this place, his new home, was in danger, full of the children and friends, he would glad to remind him why exactly he was so commonly feared. 

However, he was not very scary if the way Anton decided to curl up beside him, eventually resting his head on his lap, was anything to go by. He didn’t want to scare his family, though, because they were his family, more than any other ‘family’ he’d been with before, and thankfully, he didn’t scare them at all. Even untrained Pepper, the best friend and pseudo-sister/mother of Anton. 

_ Please, any Gods or Goddesses that live up there, let this last forever.  _

Eight and a Half

Natasha’s POV

Pepper, after James and Tony had left, came back into the gym. She, despite being untrained, was brilliant. She picked up what she saw, and she’d seen a lot. Natasha corrected movements, stances, showed her where to hit first if it was an emergency and just needed to escape. She and Pepper stayed up far too late. It was nearly two in the morning when they went to check on the boys and get showered. What they saw, however, was not what either of them seemed to expect. 

Tony was pretty much latching onto James, arms gripping and body curling closer to James like a… well, he wasn’t a leech (the direct opposite actually), but he sure looked like one the way he clung to him. Tony was also asleep, but James was awake and staring at them. When Natasha suggested that James talk to Tony, she did not expect to find them cuddling on the couch. What were they watching? Was that  _ Mythbusters _ ? Yes, it most definitely was. That show gave the engineer in Tony (which was but one of his many parts) bad ideas, but she could admit they were funny to watch those ‘bad ideas’ explode. DUM-E definitely liked them because he got to wield the fire extinguisher and use it, more often than not, to put out real fires. 

“We’re going to go and take some showers, we can move Tony if you--” Pepper offered, in a whisper. Natasha was sure she was thankful he had fallen asleep for two nights in a row. The first time that happened since he was fifteen, according to both Pepper and Tony himself. 

“He’s fine, I don’t mind,” James whispered back. She and Pepper looked at each other and then nodded and stalked off as quietly as they could. Thankfully, Pepper had her heels off and was wearing nice sneakers instead. Once they got upstairs, they both started laughing. Natasha was genuinely amused, and from the tears in Pepper’s eyes she was very happy. 

“Do you think he noticed that he was petting him?” Pepper asked, trying to keep her snickering somewhat subtle to the super soldier downstairs while standing outside of Natasha’s bedroom door. “That’s great. Oh, I’m so happy for them both. James, the sweet cyborg he is, and Tony, the same shy, but eccentric, puppy we all know and love,” she took a deep breath and wiped the tears at the corners of her eyes. “Alright, I’m going up to my room. Goodnight Natasha.” 

“Goodnight,” Natasha didn’t close her door as she started to strip off, hearing Pepper leave a second after she removed her shirt and socks. Natasha stood a moment later to shut her door, having expected Pepper to close it, but also knowing that she probably got too flustered to think then. Pepper was a very logical and collected woman when she was facing men and idiots. She seemed to be growing more used to Natasha, and to be honest, Natasha was so entranced by just about anything the other red head did that she was hyper aware of everything happening in Pepper’s life, including her overwhelming emotions that are so clear through her eyes and the way her jaw tightens. She got in the shower, knowing that Tony’s water heater was capable of handling four steaming showers lasting for an hour and a half all at the same time. Two thirty minute showers were nothing. 

When she got dressed in a pair of pajamas, a red shirt with a black widow across the chest and black flannel sleep pants, she went back downstairs to check on her friends. She was being as quiet as she was able, which was very, but she must have made some noise before there was a knife whirring past her head. It embedded in the wall behind her. It would have hit if she hadn’t dodged out of the way. She looked up to see James with wide eyes. 

“I’m  _ so _ sorry,” he said. “I… it’s habitual.” 

She understood the need to have protection, if it wasn’t planned to be used. She pulled the knife from the wall, a very fancy and balanced throwing knife (she wondered where he had procured such an item), and handed it to him when she sat down on the chair to his side. She leaned back, crossing her legs, but comfortably, ankle to knee, and not ‘sexily’ like she so often did to seduce, lure, or distract opponents. There was no need for that here, and if James did truly attack, she would give it her best and all, but she knew she was unlikely to win against him. 

“I understand,” she said. “I understand even more now that you are protecting something. I will warn you next time.” 

“I really didn’t mean to… I shouldn’t carry them, but what if I  _ have _ to. I know I could kill with my hands, probably easier than any other super soldier, actually, but there’s something impersonal about projectiles and I don’t want it to be personal. I don’t want to hurt people, but… it’s hard to reprogram defense mechanisms, especially when that was the only thing that I could hold onto. I have no other talents.” 

“Well, you can bake some mean muffins,” she smiled and he rolled his eyes. 

“So good that you and Anton managed to cover the entire kitchen with bits of them?” He smiled and she shrugged. “Don’t tell him this, but DUM-E and U are very good at measuring things. They help me in the kitchen, and I clean up their mess because they’re having fun. Do you think it’s silly that I care about the kids? I mean, the robots? They are so adorable and they love attention, it’s hard not to like the little dorks.” 

“Well, I’ll answer, but you have to answer my question after, alright?” He nodded, and she smiled, looking up at one of FRIDAY’s cameras then back to James who was now staring at the camera. “It’s not silly at all. Tony treats them like his children, and for all intents and purposes, they are his children. He will even refer to him as his kids if you ask him about it. Now, it’s also hard for him to speak about them, especially FRIDAY, because the other Avengers have been very clear in their dislike for the robots and FRIDAY. In fact, Rogers gave him a lecture when he found that FRIDAY was running like JARVIS. He told Tony that he would be removed from the Avengers and considered a threat if he allowed FRIDAY the same freedoms as her predecessor because of the incident with Ultron. There are plenty of other times when he was mocked for caring about his kids. Clint can be the harshest out of them, but I think he’s always disliked Tony, even before the Ultron incident. 

“The fact you care about them is good. Tony is very protective of them, even if he threatens them. Like when he threatens to donate DUM-E to a community college, or U to a toothpaste factory. He doesn’t mean it, and I think they know, but sometimes he will apologize for ‘taking it too far.’ I don’t know what his boundaries are, but he’s very peculiar with small things. Sometimes it’s irritating, like when he refuses to accept things being handed to him, but knowing that Tony doesn’t do anything to purposely hurt us, more likely to hurt himself trying to make us happy, those small quirks are tolerable if not sometimes sad because what it means. 

“Now, assuming you’d be the big spoon, are you more likely to cuddle up close, chest to back, or are you more the ‘lay on my shoulder’ sort of guy?” She smiled when James looked confused. It took a moment before James’ confusion was replaced by a small smile. Hesitant, which was so very difficult to get used to seeing on the face of her former, merciless instructor. 

“I think I like to cuddle more, but I could do whatever he wanted…” Natasha stopped smiling because she saw the signs in them all. Herself included. They were all desperate for affection and touch starved. They wanted to be accepted and cared for unconditionally. Even Pepper, and especially Tony. For someone as prone to physical contact, Tony seemed the most hesitant to initiate it most often from people he truly cared for. It took him weeks before he would lean on her during movie nights, and it took just as long for her to stop being nervous around Tony when he moved or ranted at superhuman speed. She still had a difficult time accepting hugs that were meant to comfort rather than constrict. 

It seemed that for so long they had gotten so used to just being hurt, that it was easier to distance themselves from people who even meant the best. 

“James?” Tony asked, slurring a bit as he lifted his head a bit. “Wanna sleep in a bed? You can’t be comfortable.” 

“Sure. Where do you wanna go?” 

“You’re gonna carry me?” Tony smiled and moved his arms from James’ waist to over his shoulders, hands clasped behind his neck. “To my bedroom! It’s really comfy, you can stay and just, ya know, sleep. Big bed, and all that.” 

James stood up, easily carrying Tony with him, “I will see you tomorrow, as I believe I have some sort of espionage training with you?” Natasha nodded, and watched as James left, leaving the knife from before on the couch. She was sure, though, that he had plenty more where that came from. They’re kind usually did. Even Tony carried weapons, be it his Iron Man suit in parts or a gun. When she picked up the knife left on the couch to examine it more thoroughly, she found the most peculiar markings on it. If she was correct, those knives were… those were the Winter Soldier’s knives, from before HYDRA. How he had got them, she only had one idea: Tony. She set the knife on the coffee table, and pulled the blanket from the couch where it had been around Tony and pulled it over herself as she sat back to drift lightly to  _ Mythbusters _ . She had ‘spy training’ with James tomorrow, and that was going to be oh-so-fun. 

It was six in the morning when she decided to get up for the day. 

She was actually looking forward to seeing James trying to spy. Yes, he was stealthy and graceful. He could kill someone in half a second with his bare hands, but spying did rely on social skills. Observation, was also a skill she had seen him use, but  _ social skills _ ? He was, at one point, charismatic, or so ‘Bucky Barnes’ was, but the Winter Soldier hardly spoke and certainly never to her or the girls in any sort of friendly manner. Not even the Headmistress or Lyudmila, and from what he’d said since they found him, she would say that is far from a strong suit. He had his moments, of course, when he had a surge of confidence but… well, it would be interesting to try and train him. The ways the world turned. The trainer becomes the trainee and all that. 

It neared closer to seven in the morning, but nobody had joined her in the living room. No one had even passed her on their way to the kitchen. It was eight when Pepper came rushing down the stairs. Her heels, four inches, black leather, and as pointed as a sword, didn’t seem to impede her running speed. She didn’t even trip. Natasha was extremely impressed. 

“Have you seen my purse?” Pepper asked, shoving a small diamond stud through her earlobe. Natasha grabbed the purse from the side table between her chair and the couch and walked around the furniture to hand it to Pepper. “Oh thank you!” She took the purse and held it in the crook of her elbow. “FRIDAY, I need you to send Happy a message telling him that I require transportation from the compound today instead of the penthouse. Thank you,” Pepper looked at her. Natasha felt more vulnerable than she had since she was a little girl getting lectured for being weak before being forced to pull the trigger to kill her unconscious target. What did people do with their hands again? She couldn’t believe she was mentally laughing at James’ lack of social skills because she, despite the training, she was nervous just because Pepper was within proximity to her at such an odd hour. “Good morning, Natasha, and goodbye. I’ll try to be back for dinner!” Pepper pushed the door open to the rest of the compound. It shut and locked behind her. For a long time, Natasha stared at the door that locked as soon as it shut. 

Natasha sighed. She was so appreciative of that woman. How could she not be in awe every time Pepper did something? She was amazing, and Natasha longed for her care. An hour later, James walked in from the gym, which she had no memory of him going to all night. He seemed to see her confusion and shrugged. 

“I was anxious,” he said with a shrug of his shoulders before walking to the kitchen. Oh, jeez, this was going to be a long day. Unlike the normal irritation she felt, she felt sort of giddy. Like she was too hyped up to focus on anything. 

“Pop a boner against your sleeping hubby?” She asked as she walked into the kitchen behind him. James had started the coffee and leaned against the counter. 

“Something like that,” he said with a smile. The day would be good, hopefully. 


	9. Tony's POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Breakfast with the Avengers. 
> 
> Also, cat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the last chapter I'll be posting for a while. Writer's block sucks, but hopefully it won't last forever. I have snippets of what I want to happen, I just have to get them written and added in a way that the story would still flow, but... well, everything I'm writing is crap, so that's why I'm putting this on temporary hiatus because I'm gonna finish it, just like 'Don't Worry' which will also be finished (I'm stuck on a sex scene, why is sex so difficult to write?).

Tony’s POV

Waking up, in his bed, was not typical. It had happened two nights in a row now, and he hadn’t slept as soundly since before he was sent to Howard post-program. The fact he slept better surrounded by assassins and spies than his ‘family’ spoke of some serious terribleness with the Starks. The other side of the bed had been messed up, and he remembered James coming in with him, but he wasn’t there anymore. He rolled out of bed, and went to the kitchen where he found both James and Natasha. 

“ _ Dobroye _ ,” James slid a cup of coffee to him, and he took it. Of course James would have noticed the way he drank coffee, he was observant, although that skill wasn’t, at least what Tony remembered, often used for such a benevolent thing. He sat down beside Natasha, watching as James starred in his own mug but didn’t drink it. Natasha was switching from glaring at James to that indifferent resting face that was sometimes concerning. “Who shit in your coffee?” 

Both Natasha and James replied with each others’ names. He didn’t respond and after Natasha sighed deeply, properly displaying her irritation, she spoke up. 

“He tried to  _ poison _ me.” 

“You stole my cup before I could warn you!” James didn’t sound as upset as Natasha, who spoke as if she had been personally slighted by the entire world while James inflection sounded more like amusement than vexation. 

“Who puts that much sugar in coffee?” 

“I do, obviously,” James crossed his legs, ankle to knee, and he leaned back in his chair. “Don’t take my coffee again and this discomfort won’t be likely to reoccur. That’s how things work. You’ve learned.” 

“It sounds like you wanna start a fight,” Natasha leaned forward from her position across from James, “we can take this to the gym if you want, old man.” 

There was a shift in the tone. Natasha’s playfulness fell flat when James cringed. He shook his head, facial expression going dead flat yet somewhat despondent at the same time. 

“No, I don’t think that would be safe,” he stood up, “I think I’m gonna go read, or something. I have that new band I need to check out, and so… I’ll see you later, both of you,” James dumped his coffee in the sink and left the kitchen as fast as he could without running. Tony bit at his lips before he crossed an arm over his chest and use the other to grab his coffee and sip from it. Natasha seemed to be as apathetic as usual, but there was that tenseness that let Tony know she was feeling upset. 

“You wanna sip of my coffee? I’ll share with you,” Tony smiled, “and I only share with the best. C’mon, it’s almost like the way you like it. Here,” he set his mug down and pushed it to her. She ran her thumb over the handle before picking it up. 

“I didn’t mean to make him leave.” 

“I know. It’s alright. Just a sensitive topic. He can handle it better on some days. Today doesn’t seem like one of those days. He’s probably had enough violence for a while, he’s probably… uncomfortable,” honestly, Tony didn’t want to talk about James (a first) because he didn’t know how to approach that and he was just as scared as pushing James away and eventually having James dislike him too. He had Natasha, now, and he would always have Pepper (hopefully), but… he didn’t want to push someone like James out of his life because he was being stupid and spoke too much about a painful topic. Then again, he knew what would cheer Natasha up (and he would hide his discomfort to make her smile. He would  _ always _ put them before himself). “Wanna go crash Steve’s ‘Team Breakfast’? I’m sure we can have a wonderful conversation about his shitty muffins and the smell of burnt egg. Right? You can even play protector and keep birdbrain from getting too close.” 

“Oh, I do love ‘playing protector’,” she smirked (and it seemed so forced, and Tony wanted to hug her and tell her that she didn’t need to pretend for any reason,  _ ever _ , when she was with him. She was allowed to feel things, he wouldn’t taught her or mock her for expressing herself. But he could understand the fear of that happening, though) and stood up, setting the mug down. “Let’s go eat some shitty food and drink some shitty coffee.” 

That’s what they did. Tony asked FRIDAY to tell James that they would be out, and if he needed anything he could ask FRIDAY to get him or he could call/text. He got dressed in Stark-typical clothes, a nice three piece suit, and met Natasha, who was relaxed in her hoodie and jeans, in the living room. She stood by the door that led out to the rest of the compound. They nodded at each other and Tony followed her through the door that shut and locked as it shut behind them. 

They found the others in the communal kitchen and dining room. The table was much larger to accommodate the whole group, and the kitchen was also bigger. Natasha sat down between Wilson and Barton, and joined in their conversation with ease (as if she hadn’t been avoiding them for a few months). Tony sat down beside Vision, but with Vision came the witch who was glaring at him from her place on the other side of Vision. 

“Mr. Stark!” Vision sounded excited, which was an improvement from the normal toneless inflection he had due to his lack of humanity. “Oh, goodness. It’s been quite a while since you visited. How have you been?” 

“Good. Been busy with stuff, fun stuff, though. How’ve you been? How’s love treating you?” 

“I’ve been very well. If I had known you would be here this morning, I would have requested something you would like. I’m afraid that the Captain has taken everyone’s prefered foods to make this morning, all beside you and Ms Romanov. Well, that’s alright, I’m sure you’ll find something enjoyable… FRIDAY has told me that you have been interested in psychology lately. If you wouldn’t mind, I would love to learn alongside you. I’m very interested in the social behaviours of humans, and while I’ve learned much more than I began with, I am still curious about everything else. The human brain is fascinating! There’s so many things that it does beyond control the entire body. How does one fleshly, relatively small organ do so many things simultaneously and near flawlessly? I am also interested in the concepts of emotional behaviour. I will never experience such feelings myself, or at least I doubt I will be affected by things humans are, such as empathy or second-hand guilt, but I would really love to learn about them anyway. Perhaps I could augment myself to be more human-like in nature.  _ Better _ than I am now.” 

Tony stared at his (in essence) son, who was taller than him so he was looking up at him, while feeling a variety of emotions. He felt joy, sadness, love, confusion, pride, and the need to protect all at the same time. To be fair, Tony wasn’t used to feeling so many things at a time, or as powerfully as they struck him then, so when he stared for a moment, likely looking as stupid and dumbstruck as he felt, he didn’t feel all that creepy. 

“That was quite a lot in such a short breath, Vis, but I’m glad you’re doing well. And of course you could join me. I care about you, alright, and you have free reign in the building, that includes my typically-restricted area. Has FRIDAY mentioned anything else? I didn’t know you two have been talking, she never said anything, I thought you had… I thought you didn’t want anything to do with us, so I wasn’t going to push…” 

“That’s wonderful! Thank you, I will use this access with care,” Vision did an odd thing with his eyes, that flashed orange.  _ “FRIDAY told me you have been wronged by the Avengers, and I have to agree. As much as I care for Wanda, you are my creator, and your safety outweighs whatever feelings I have for a new friend. She also told me of your ability to speak with your ‘children’ telepathically due to your latest enhancement. I have yet to learn to communicate telepathically with my own power, so this is a very convenient development.” _ Vision’s voice was in his head, and Tony may have teared up had he not had his Stark persona on so tightly. That voice was so… it was JARVIS, but not it was Vision, and he had been afraid of losing Vision (he felt he already had), but he was being corrected. Vision agreed with him. 

_ “I love you, Vis, I do. Never doubt that. But I won’t hold it against you if you wanted to stay with Maximoff. I will always be here, so don’t sacrifice your chance at happiness for me unless you really want to. I wouldn’t want you to resent me for robbing you of such an opportunity.”  _

_ “FRIDAY also told me that you have a new romantic partner as well. Is that, perhaps, where this emotion comes from? Can you explain? You don’t have to, I wouldn’t want to invade your privacy anymore than I may have, but if you are willing, I would love to understand the… compassion? You feel for me in this situation? Since it is similar to your own.”  _ Tony paused. When had FRIDAY started talking to Vision? Last he checked, she was still angry with him for what she perceived as betrayal. Maybe they had made up? 

_ “Maybe. I don’t like your ‘friend’ but that’s none of my business. If I told you no, you’d hate me and do it just to spite me. I think my dislike of her is clear enough, the rest is up to you… he’s great, my, uh, partner, by the way,” _ it was very difficult to sensor his thoughts, but he had much practice keeping thoughts and ideas out of DUM-E, U, and FRIDAY’s heads on a daily basis, and they were (albeit not as dangerous as Vision or as autonomous) strong enough to take over the world or ruin people from the shadows. If they knew his actual opinions on people… that would be bad, since he was sure they would try and ‘defend’ him or ‘eliminate the threat’ in general. Even DUM-E could fight, as rudimentary as those skills were. Then Vision’s expression changed, and Tony was doing as he had practiced as soon as he injected himself with stabilized Extremis, and started to file things away while also keeping both a constant stream of thoughts filtering through a variety of unrelated ideas and a vast nothingness. He understood why Harry Potter struggled with mind magic, and he commended all the wizards in J.K.’s universe who knew ‘occlumency’ because the concept was very,  _ very _ difficult for even someone like him. The fact that he could, usually, shut himself off from others didn’t always help since, as a human, he was always projecting, and he had to be careful what he projected. His body could look as neutral as he had been trained to appear, but his mind would be running a mile a millisecond. He had to sensor both mind and behaviour now. 

He was very firm in his belief that despite the hardships his ‘telepathy’ (more like technopathy) caused, it was worth it to communicate with his creations and children in such a way. 

_ “I feel as though you’ve known him for longer than FRIDAY tells me.”  _

_ “Maybe I have,” _ Tony looked at Steve, who had entered the room with pans of food. To be fair, Steve was staring right back at him, and he didn’t know how to react to that in any pleasant way. “Take a picture, it’ll last longer. You had photographs back in the stone age, right?” He could see Natasha roll her eyes in his peripheral vision. Steve set the pans down. 

“I didn’t know you would be joining us. Either of you. Something happen?” 

“We just felt like spending quality time with our bosom buddies,” Tony waved his hand dismissively, crossing a leg and resting an elbow off the back of his chair. He had a blind spot, had he been human, but he had the view of the cameras around the building, that FRIDAY typically used to sense and see, trained everywhere, and he was flipping through it, waiting to be alerted at any movement he couldn’t physically see. He doubted someone would attack, but it was better to be safe than sorry. “Nat wanted to chill with her buds and I wanted to chit chat with Vision. We were up early, thought it would be easier to swing by and see you all together. Nat drank some bad coffee… I guess she wanted to drink something worse to remind her that such a disparity remains between our tastes.” 

“Coffee’ll kill you one day,” Steve said, turning to grab two more pans from the kitchen and setting them on the table. Steve sat down at the head of the table, and slipped those horrible oven mitts off to rest them on his lap and out of sight. Nobody moved for food, so he reached out and picked up a… what kind of muffin was this. He ripped it in half and red jam oozed out. It tasted like strawberry, and the muffin itself tasted like peanut butter. Ingenious, but also not as delicious as the concept itself was. Where was the actual fruits and spices when you need them? Obviously not in Steve’s muffins. He felt bad, like he was purposely trying to pick a fight, but… he didn’t plan on verbalizing any of his negativity, but they, as normal humans and not electronics, had no insight or ability to get or read his mind. Except the witch, but he doubted she would misbehave in front of Vision. (With the arc reactor replaced in his chest, he really hoped her mind magic would be rejected should she attack him much like Loki’s former glow stick of doom couldn’t control him.) 

“Coffee keeps me alive, actually,” Tony said, eating the muffin and crossing his arms over his chest, shifting in his seat to look at Steve at the head of the table. Round tables, not to sound cliche or King Arthur-ish, were the nicer choice to keep an even playing field and keep politics and position out of it. Obviously Steve didn’t realize that he put himself at a higher position than the rest of them, but maybe Tony was just picking on him again. He couldn’t be all bad, and Tony knew that Steve wasn’t a bad person, he just wasn’t as good as he liked to make everyone think with his whole ‘justice, freedom, and the American way’ spiel. The only thing he did the ‘American Way’ was think he’s better than everyone else, therefore, being a hypocrite, and he wasn’t loyal or free. His loyalty was more cat-like than anything, and his freedom was bought pretty easily by whoever caught him up with a sob story, false or not. 

From around him, he could hear the sounds of people talking, but he didn’t take part in any conversation. He watched the Avengers interact with each other, and he could have forced his way into their discussion, but he didn’t really want to. He came just to get them used to seeing him again, to have them think he was ‘feeling better’ and had ‘learned his lesson’ so that they would blind themselves to his true intentions. He heard them talking about a variety of things. 

Maximoff and Vision whispered to each other, and she would smile and kiss his face every (she brushed her lips against the mind stone in his head, and it made Tony want to push her away from his kid and tell her that he was too young to realize that she was a wicked wench) now and again. Barton and Wilson were arguing about some TV show and Natasha listened to them as stoic and quiet as always, only speaking to tell them that they were stupid. Steve was listening to both of their conversations, apparently, and was more invested in the conversation with Wilson than what was going on between Vision and the witch. Eventually, the conversation turned to science fiction, which led to the idea of time travel. 

“...that would be interesting,” Steve turned to Tony, “wouldn’t it, Tony?” 

“Sure. But it’s not like I haven’t attempted to recreate the time-travelling DeLorean from  _ Back to the Future _ , so trying again seems pointless. Time travel, as far as I’m aware, isn’t possible, and if it was, it would be too dangerous to attempt anyway,” Tony pulled apart another muffin. 

“So time travel, something helpful, is dangerous, but creating genocidal robots isn’t?” Barton asked with a scoff. Tony didn’t respond, he didn’t even acknowledge his statement. He knew that he was trying to get him to fight, and Tony didn’t want to deal with that today. “Sort your priorities, asshole.” 

“Why would time travel be bad? Wouldn’t fixing the past mistakes before they happen be a good thing?” Steve asked, seeming genuine in his curiosity, as if he had never heard of the variety of time travel paradoxes that puzzled scientists and nerds since science fiction became a thing. 

“Well, give me an example of what you would want to change.”

“World War Two. Stop that before it happened, so, kill Hitler before he was old enough to start the holocaust,” Steve sat back, and just about everyone was now waiting, looking at Tony, for an answer. 

“Yes, that would be bad,” he waited for the outcry from the non-believers, just about everyone beside Vision, Natasha and himself, to quiet. “There’s this thing called the ‘causal loop,’ it’s sort of super common and just about everyone knows about it nowadays, but the idea is, we will use World War Two and Hitler as the example because ya know. So, if you kill Hitler, then his actions that were so devastating they played a significant role in shaping the world today as we know it, then the lives of all of us, born after the holocaust wouldn’t be there, and you’d also have changed the entire outcome of everything. But then, on the other hand, there is the multiverse theory, but since nobody here has any definitive proof of the multiverse theory, then the previous paradox is more trusted as a logical and sound theory opposed to the multiverse. Then, there’s also the ‘grandfather paradox,’ which applies because, if--” 

“Alright. We get it. Don’t need to write us an essay,” Barton said, taking the last muffin and the entire pan of hash browns to finish those too. 

“You wouldn’t be able to understand the essay, this is the TL;DR,” Tony rolled his eyes and made a motion with his hands before he leaned forward on his hand. “Anyway. Time travel is bad, let’s not do it,” there was the small satisfaction in knowing that the only one remotely capable of successfully time travelling with the use of technology, was him. If they didn’t want to listen to his genius, that was their loss. He picked up the last two pieces of bacon and ignored the glare he received from both Wilson and Natasha (but he knew that had this been in his quarters, they would have fought for the bacon most definitely and brutaly). He decided to be benevolent and offered the second piece to Natasha who took it hastily and quickly shoved the entire thing in her mouth as if they were back in training and trying to eat as fast as they could before it was taken away. He did the same, and they shared a  _ look _ , because they  _ knew _ , and nobody else did. They could relate more than anyone at the table, even Vision and Maximoff or Steve and Wilson. 

“So… if… so if we  _ could _ change the past, how, uh, different do you think it would be?” Steve’s hesitancy made Tony curious, but he remained outwardly oblivious. He also caught the glare both Barton and Wilson shot to the great Captain, and Tony felt both gleefully aware of their inner turmoil, but also frustrated because he didn’t know exactly which point in time Steve was talking about now. And something told him that Steve wouldn’t be telling him what he wanted to change anytime soon. 

“Well, it depends on what it was, but probably significantly since you tend to stick with large-scale events.” 

“Oh…” Steve looked over the table, “well, I think breakfast was good. Any volunteers for the dishes?” Tony didn’t even consider volunteering but then he was glared at by the majority of the table. He then considered it, but didn’t offer. Instead he stood up, and just as they thought he was going to help, he walked around the table and Natasha grabbed his hand to pull herself to her feet in a show (rather than needing the assistance) and then playfully punched his shoulder. Barton cringed at the familiarity. 

“Well, that was fun. Good food, and all that. We’ve got shit to do, ya know how that is. Vis, feel free to join me in the lab whenever, everyone else, uh, have a  _ wonderful _ day,” Natasha followed him, and then, outside the door, in the hall to Tony’s house they started to laugh. “They’re such idiots.” 

“ _ Pravda _ (I agree),” Natasha said before punching in the code and then pushing the door open for them both. It slammed and locked behind them. “I don’t know why they ask you for your opinion and then just shit all over it. What’s the point to even ask if they don’t care?” 

“Well, they try to make me feel included. I don’t think they realize they’re only isolating me further. Here, I got mock therapy with James, but first I have two updates to make for SI. You got super-spy training with James in the meantime, don’t you? We need to install a school bell. FRIDAY, make note to ask Pepper for a more in depth schedule so we can actually have a bell after ‘class’.” 

“ _ Sure thing, Da _ ,” FRIDAY was quick like that. He gave a thumbs-up at the nearest sensor before leaving for the workshop (and if Natasha swatted his ass as he walked away, he didn’t need to tell anyone about the yelp that followed). 

He spent six hours working, taking a three second break to go to the bathroom once and about seven or eight coffee breaks (he indulged in tea once, but that was when he was mentally reminding himself that no matter how much he wanted to just kick Steve in the balls, he shouldn’t - it required tea to calm him down, he could tolerate the weak taste because it smelled like home). It was about a quarter till he had worked for seven hours when he heard a shifting in the vents. He thought perhaps Natasha had convinced James to get up in the air ducts, but he knew how well that conversation would go down, and how difficult it would for James’ shoulders to even get into the vents. He armed himself with a repulsor and shot the cover from the ventilation shaft on the ceiling and there was a sharp cry as he dived forward to catch the cat that fell out. He looked at the little guy and checked him over, hardly noticing he was still half armed with a repulsor that likely pulled this cat’s hair more than once. It was obvious, the missing front right front paw, so he didn’t worry about that and focused on the burn on his tail and the bleeding part of his ear where skin was missing in a crescent. Poor guy. Tony set him on his chair and the gauntlet retracted to his watch before he found the first aid kit (thank Pepper for thinking about safety measures) strapped under his desk. 

“FRIDAY, what do I do? It’s not like I know feline anatomy!” Thankfully, FRIDAY knew best and just read to him the few articles she had found in her two second search. What she found was that treating cat wounds almost exactly like human wounds, so Tony did that. He was good at patching human wounds, or at least better than most. 

He cleaned the wounds, only getting scratched and hissed at for a few minutes (total, since this guy seemed to need to take laboured breaths every half a minute or so) by the end of treating the little guy. The cat, actually, was not little by any means. He was full grown, and probably a healthy fifteen pounds, he wasn’t underfed, but he wasn’t exactly a normal weight either, from what little information Tony had on cats. He was a silver tabby, according to FRIDAY’s commentary as he walked up the stairs and across the house to the gym. He knocked on the door and then realized he was knocking on the gym door. Feeling like an idiot, he pushed the door open. Natasha and James were on the floor, not working on spying unless playing sitting around painting nails and sipping tea was what it took to be a spy. They looked up at him, and they were both on their feet to get a closer look at the cutie in his arms. 

“Where did you find him?” James asked, while closer to him than, he was still a good foot away from him and the cat in his arms.

“He fell from the vent in my workshop. I don’t even know how he got in there unless someone opened the outs--” Tony stopped and then sighed. “Someone must have pried the covers off from my portion of the building, likely attempting to get something inside, and this guy got in instead. I mean, I don’t know how else a cat could get in through the vents without human intervention.” 

“Could he have wandered in from the other portion of the building and into your vents on accident?” Natasha asked, always seeming to keep cool. 

“Well… maybe, but him finding someone before dying of starvation or something is extremely lucky. But… I want to keep him. He’s injured, he needs to recuperate! Look, he’s wheezing. He needs a vet.” 

“We don’t need to keep him  _ only _ until he’s healthy, Anton, I’m sure everyone will be alright if he stayed with us permanently. If not we could always make something up, right?” 

“Since three of the four main residents of this portion of the building are here, I’m sure we can all agree to keep him,” Natasha said before gently picking the cat from Tony’s arms and holding him to her chest. She petted him and when she scratched under his chin and his jaw he seemed to really like that. “I say we name him Connor. Any objections?” Nobody responded and finally she nodded, “Good. Let’s get him something to eat and find him a nice place to cozy up so he can get some rest. He’s been trapped in the vents, he’s probably tired. Tomorrow morning I will take him to the vet. FRIDAY, please make an appointment at the nearest reputable veterinary clinic.” 

“ _ Done! Appointment at ‘Urban Tails’ tomorrow morning at six. _ ” 

Natasha stalked out of the gym with Connor in her arms, thanking FRIDAY as she walked, leaving Tony and James standing across from each other, staring at the door she had just walked out of. Tony was questioning if he hadn’t fallen asleep, and James seemed to be just as confused. Then, Tony smiled. Natasha was softer than she thought, and that was emotionally and only sometimes because she was otherwise ruthless. Tony, after a moment of confusion, shook himself out of his stupor and ran out of the room, hearing James moving behind him. 

They found Natasha in the kitchen. She had some deli meat, turkey, that she shred on a plate and a bowl of water in front of Connor where he stood on the counter top. Natasha stood by him, observing and likely standing sentinel to ensure he didn’t fall off the counter or anything. James stood in the doorway, but Tony got closer to Natasha and Connor. 

“It’s odd that a cat shows up after we join the Avengers for breakfast, isn’t it?” Tony asked only for Natasha to shrug. 

“It could also just be a very nice coincidence, but just in case, we can see what they know, but I doubt they would smuggle a disabled cat into your workshop. They think the worst of you, they would think you’d kill it before they trusted you with something living, and they don’t think I’m anything but a killer, so I doubt they sent him in.” 

“Well when you put it like that…” 

That’s how they adopted Connor. 

Natasha picked the boy up, and held him to her chest again. 

“I’m taking him for a nap. You guys go do that therapy thing,” Natasha left in the direction to her room with Connor in her arms. Tony watched her and as soon as she was out of the room he turned to James and made a sound. 

“I cannot believe her. She is going to snuggle with him first. She’s gonna get priority, and he won’t want to snuggle with me… her arms are heaven,” Tony took a moment to notice that James hadn’t walked inside the room, which wasn’t entirely odd for James. He was typically unusual, but Tony was curious what caused him to be so hesitant. He, in the beginning, avoided places with other people. Had that progress regressed with ‘spy training’? Then Tony realized he was probably cautious because Connor was so tiny compared to them. “Hey, you okay?” 

“Fine. I’m fine. He’s so tiny.” 

“Really? I thought he was sort of big for a cat,” Tony frowned, “Oh. I mean, yeah, though, he’s tiny,”  _ compared to you _ . Then Tony, for all his training to recognize certain behaviours, knew exactly why James was hesitant to get too close to the cat. So, despite all the training, he really didn’t see things in people like Pepper, James, and Natasha. He didn’t need to read them, they wouldn’t hurt him so it wasn’t necessary, but then there were moments like this that were important to recognize for what they were in unspoken terms. Tony reached up and wrapped his arms around James’ neck, forearms resting on his shoulders. “Whatever you’re thinking, I want you to know that we know that you would never hurt little Connor on purpose. Yeah, you’re an assassin, you’re trained and could hand Natasha her ass any day of the week. You’re good, but just because you  _ can _ be dangerous, doesn’t mean that you’re  _ always _ dangerous. You’re capable of softness and gentleness, James… now, while we’re on that subject, we have therapy-that’s-not- _ actual _ -therapy, so let’s go build a fort and talk about our stunted emotional capabilities.” 

Tony saw the small curl of his lip in a somewhat-smile and he smiled back because James deserved some happiness, some smiles, and it made Tony happy to make James happy. Everyone in his house needed some peace, love, happiness, and major therapy with trained professionals. Getting three out of four is still better than nothing. (Seventy-five percent was  _ technically _ a passing grade.) 


	10. James' POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Forts and birthday-plans will be made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this update is so late. I might change it from every once a week to every other week. I don't know. Anyway, I have NOT seen Endgame, but my friend spoiled it mostly, but now I refuse to watch it until it's on Netflix so I can cry because even if you don't want spoilers, who's not going to ball their eyes out? It's guaranteed to be sad, it's called 'Endgame.' 
> 
> Anyway, hope this is okay.

James’ POV

When Anton had mentioned building a ‘fort,’ he had apparently meant it seriously since he had James help him build a blanket fort in the living room and then slid under the low-hanging, blanket ‘ceiling’ and motioned for James to join him. He was waiting for that ‘not-therapy’ that had been mentioned but Anton quickly rolled on his side and pressed his back against him. James wrapped an arm around him and hoped that is what Anton had wanted. It seemed to appease the engineer because he lifted an arm up to hold his wrist, and gently trace the tendons on and muscles under the skin on the back of his hand. 

“Pepper’s birthday is in September. The twenty-seventh,” Anton said after moments of stroking his hand, “I feel bad for dumping all my baggage on her, and she really deserves a nice birthday, something relaxing. I’ll be away for a week to deal with SI in her place, but if I’m there, she can sunbathe and windsurf in Dahab or something. Drink something fruity and too sweet and look at beautiful people, get laid for god’s sake, ya know? I mean, to the press, she could be going for some business or something, and she’d have to keep any one night stands quiet with NDAs, but I mean, she deserves time to herself. She works so hard all the time and here I am, lazing around.” 

James was silent for a long moment, and Anton continued to stroke his hand. He remembered, vaguely, of Anton’s birthday. The other boys never got a celebration, but Anton, when he had access to their systems and read his own file, would convince the scientists to give him candy on the 29th of May every year. There had been one year, when he was thirteen or so, when Anton had sought him out and gotten into his room. He dumped his collected candy on his bed and started counting them out, giving him half. James hadn’t known why, he had never celebrated a birthday before. He hadn’t known his birthday then. Still doesn’t, actually. 

He could agree, though, from what Anton’s told him about Pepper, that she needed a break. She, according to Anton, had new wrinkles and was more tense than ever. Anton also said that since she was infected with Extremis, she shouldn’t be gaining any wrinkles since she wouldn’t be aging any more for a very long time, so he reasoned it must be stress. 

“What did you do for your birthday?” 

It appeared that Anton didn’t expect that question since he stopped stroking his hand and wiggled around to face him. 

“Probably something really big and flashy? That seems like something I would do.” 

“Really? It it something  _ you _ would do?” 

“Well, not because I want to. But it’s necessary, so I do it. I don’t remember it, so I was probably trying to see how much was too much for a super metabolism, ya know,” Anton looked at his chest, not meeting his eyes, “maybe I found it. Must have, since I don’t remember, but I also don’t remember how much it was to get to that point, maybe FRIDAY has a recording, that was the month that everything with Ultron went down…” James shifted, and Anton seemed ready to move away, but James, as gently as he could, moved and held Anton with his metal arm so he could stroke his hair. He didn’t think Anton would appreciate the plates on his arm pinching and pulling his hair, so he used his organic hand. 

“How long have you been with the Avengers?” 

“Four years.” 

“And they don’t know you yet?” Anton sighed, but James was pleased with his question. He understood and knew that Anton did not like the Avengers, and he had also heard and seen enough evidence be it anecdotes from Anton or Natalia, or had been shown footage when he asked FRIDAY to show him some moments of Anton with his suit (he had been very curious how he had managed to grow comfortable fighting in a suit, but considering he had been comfortable fighting without all the extra protection, it wasn’t exactly all too difficult to guess he prefered it. That was, until FRIDAY told him that her Da didn’t so much prefer the suit as he prefered the way people treated him when he was wearing it). 

“I fooled Natasha.” 

“Sure, but she must have noticed something was different at some point. Do they ever take what they think they know about you into consideration?” 

“Which is what? They think my father was either absent or wonderful, and none of them even know about Maria. They think I was some rich kid growing up. Ya know, the type that got everything he ever wanted just because he asked. That’s how Tony Stark’s life was, so I can’t correct them without giving them something substantial to back it up… even then, though, I don’t think they’d believe me. I don’t ever want to tell them, but even if I did I don’t think they’d think much of it. Probably say I was trying to garner sympathy and attention, maybe make a joke about a bad childhood was why I was so ‘sensitive’ or why I’m a giant asshole. I’m sure my past sex life will be brought more than once, Maximoff and Steve tend to focus on that for some reason, that and my innate horribleness because I have money and am trying to actually save and advance the planet rather than beg for poverty to show some humility and ‘the old days,’ because everything is too complicated for Steve’s simple mind,” Anton shifted to rest his head on James’ metal shoulder as opposed to resting on the awkward angle he had been placed in. James, then, shifted to try and balance both of their comfort. They settled and Anton looked so horribly sad. He had seen him go through so many emotions that would have been unacceptable for the other young agents, and he hadn’t known how to react to all of them. He had felt a variety of emotions he wasn’t used to feeling or understanding in any capacity recently. 

“They accepted Natalia, didn’t they?” 

“She’s not Howard Stark’s child, though.” 

“I don’t see how her parentage matters. Neither of you were raised by your biological parents, I don’t see much difference in your childhoods at all beyond the decision of where your training would take place.” 

“I know you haven’t been around people in a while, anyone besides the people here in my side of the building, but… if you walked to Steve right now and told him you were here, how would he react?” James didn’t answer, he didn’t know how this Steve would react, and he wasn’t sure if he was even the same person little ‘Stevie’ was so friendly with. “He would go around expecting something from you that you aren’t based on your past, and what he knows of you, or what he  _ thinks _ he knows about you, even if it isn’t who you are now. The public has everything they could ever want on Tony Stark, there is plenty of information out there about him -- me -- that would make other people feel like they knew me without being within the same  _ country _ as me in their entire life. Or  _ continent _ , even. They are steadfast in their ways, and I mean to say they are stubborn as hell and they definitely wouldn’t give up their dislike for Tony Stark even if you walked in and told them exactly what was happening and who I was. If anyone can change anyone’s mind, it would be you changing Steve’s and I’m not exactly someone he could ever truly enjoy being around. He would accuse me of brainwashing you over thinking I’m a decent person. I’m just not a hero, and he reminds me of it as often as he can.” 

For a long time, James just sat there, running his fingers through Anton’s hair as he tried to reason why they treated Anton so badly, or how the kid in Bucky’s memories grew up to be the person who went out of his way, it seemed, to be mean. How did that happen? Yes, he tried to avoid Bucky’s memories as often as possible, he didn’t want to intrude, and he felt no attachment which made him feel like he was stalking someone as opposed to having been that person, but when he couldn’t ignore the memories, he was sort of proud for the little one who was trying his best, and his past self who was trying his hardest to do what he could for the people he cared about. That was something that stuck, he was sure that some personality traits had to stick to Rogers from the Stevie in Bucky’s memories as Bucky stuck with him. 

He wanted to tell Anton he was a hero, but he knew two things would come from that. Anton would likely not take that compliment very well, and deny it because his ‘worthlessness’ and ‘wrongness’ seemed to have been ingrained in him (he had thought similarly even as a young child, although it was amplified now) and he would be uncomfortable, and James was too comfortable and selfish to reassure him if that meant he would lose the warmth against him.  _ More  _ than just ‘selfish’ but he would find a way to actually convince Anton instead of tell him. He needed action, not words to prove that Anton was better than he thought he was, that he was a good, valuable person, and a hero (since that was important to him). 

“So, you said Pepper would enjoy Dahab? That’s in…? I’m not sure, to be honest. But I think she would enjoy that, and it would be nice for you to get out of this house without having to sneak out or ask for permission from Rogers. He would let you go to work, wouldn’t he?” Anton didn’t reply, and he realized that perhaps this Steve wouldn’t allow Anton out of the house without explicit permission. Both he and Natalia made jokes about his need to be in control, but that humor, James had come to believe, covered up their anger and discomfort at having to be made feel inferior to someone else. They were both, since he had known them, fierce and the top of their fields in everything they put their mind to. If anything, Rogers should be asking them for permission, but… that wasn’t how things were. “Perhaps… perhaps I should try to convince him,” Anton looked up at him, as if he had said something so horribly outlandish he didn’t know how to react. “You said I was the only one that would get through his thick skull, maybe if I tried…” 

“He would know you’re here then,” Anton said, “and he would know that you were on my side, and I can’t see him reacting well to that at all… why don’t I make arrangements for Pepper to go for a vacation, and I’ll beg Natasha to pick up the paperwork (who even uses actual paper anymore?) and I can work from the workshop so nobody needs to do anything that they don’t want to. If that doesn’t work, then I’ll find a way, I usually do. Sound good?” 

“I don’t want to fight,” James pressed a soft kiss to Anton’s forehead, and offered a sincere smile (because Anton needed to smile as much as he did. Smiling tended to make other people smile too). “But I would fight a thousand soldiers to keep your family safe.”  _ To keep you safe _ . 

“It’s your family too, if you want,” Anton offered a half smile. 

“ _ Our family _ , then.” 

That was the majority of their ‘mock therapy’ since after a prolonged silence, Anton whipped out his phone and started to type and swipe. His eyes flashed blue, like the blue glow in his chest ( _ the star in his heart _ ), which James had been informed (by Pepper, albeit before she warmed up to him and was stiff and purely professional around him, at least to the best of her ability) that Anton’s eyes turned blue when he used the powers granted by Extremis. 

Honestly, though, he was perfectly content to just hold Anton in such a close proximity. It was summer, technically, but the inside of Anton’s home was so cool allowing them to wear soft sweaters despite the heat outside. That same chill forced him to seek out sources of warmth. Anton was providing it at that moment, and he was very happy to just stay still and soak up the warmth and contact he could get. Before Anton and Natalia found him, he couldn’t remember how nice it was to be touched, even a casual brush of the hands or something else equally mundane, but now that he knew, he didn’t want to be forced without it again. (Even at Department X and the Red Room he found some sort of comfort in contact, although it was much more violent most of the time.) 

It was verging on the evening when he and Anton built the blanket fort in the living room, and after a good two hours resting on pillows and blankets piled on the carpeted floor, there was a buzz at the door as Miss Potts opened the door. James could see her from his vantage point near the opening of the fort and facing the entrance. There was a shuffle, and he saw Pepper holding her purse up on her shoulder and then she turned to pick something up and then she entered, dismissing the fabric fort with a brief smile and wink aimed at James, only to head straight to the kitchen. 

“Pepper’s home,” James whispered and Anton looked up at him. 

“Really? It’s only-- it’s nine already! Where did the time go?” 

“I don’t know,  _ moya zvezdochka _ (my little star). C’mon, let’s go see what she brought. FRIDAY, can you alert Natalia that Pepper is home and that she has food.” 

He and Anton extracted themselves from the surprisingly sturdy, for blankets and pillows, fort. Anton was stretching and rubbing his eyes as soon as he stood. James could hear Natalia walking down the stairs, and the rustle of bags from the kitchen. 

Once everyone gathered in the kitchen, Pepper set out two glass containers with different cookies inside and then she pulled a bag filled with 6 smaller glass containers with something else inside. It looked like pie, but also a bit like cake, and either way, James was confused as to why/how Pepper got her hands on a bunch of sweets. Anton had already grabbed a container of cookies. The label on the top read ‘molasses spice cookies’ in a very prim hand writing that looked more like vines than actual letters. The other read ‘salted butter cookies,’ and Pepper was placing four of the smaller containers out while storing the other two away in the fridge. 

“Shit, Pep! Your mom going on a baking spree again?” 

“No, she just decided that I needed an incentive to remember to eat, and I realized that you needed something similar so I’m sharing the abundance of food with you three. Those are slices of sugar pie, just so you know. Also, Happy bought groceries before he brought me over, so that’s what those are,” she motioned to the pristine cloth bags that were tied loosely at the top to keep them from spilling the contents. “Also, if you like the cookies and pie, I have the recipes, but since I copied them, you’ll have to read my scribbles. Mom has much nicer handwriting.” Natalia set Connor down for a moment to get him a bowl of water, which she guided him to away from the countertop to, most likely, keep him from accidentally being stepped on, and then accepted the fork from Pepper. 

The sounds of eating (and Connor lapping at the water) was the only thing to hear until Pepper managed to finish her pie very fast (followed seconds later by Natalia and Anton - sometimes, he thought that maybe they were racing to see who could finish faster) and she moved to sit at the table, unlike the rest of them who were still hunched over the countertop. Natalia took the butter cookies with her when she joined Pepper at the table. 

“So, I see there’s a new tenant. Should I expect a new stray about every other month?” 

“Pepper!? You can’t call Connor a stray,” he smiled up at James and then slid a molasses cookie to him and started to eat one as well. “Just kidding. But, no. Connor’s the last addition for a while. Hopefully he’s healthy and won’t need to be  _ euthanized _ . He’s pretty wheezy, but if he comes back from his visit with the vet tomorrow, I’m building him a new leg. A man needs all paws to properly defend himself… or, in his case, shred my very expensive furniture. It’ll be worth it, so I’m not even complaining. Also, he’s gonna get his own star, and he and James can be buddies. Oh, speaking of buddies…!” Anton started to tell Pepper about everything he managed to do in the lab. Natalia just focused on her cookies, offering a few brief suggestions here and there, and Pepper nodded at the right times and made a noise and now and then to let Anton know she was still listening. Otherwise, Anton had the floor. Then Anton took a deep breath. “Also, Nat and I went to Steve’s Team Breakfast today.” 

“Oh, how did that go? Anyone I need to stab?” James was, slightly, taken aback by how forward Pepper had just been. Anton’s smile made him think that Pepper said things like that often, but he had never heard her say something like that since he arrived nearly two months earlier. Maybe she took a hiatus from threatening to stab people? Actually, she only just started to ‘like’ him, so maybe she was comfortable enough to say things like that in front of him now. She could have been threatening to stab him, for all he knew (he doubted she’d be able to, but it was still a sweet sentiment, right?). 

“No. They were talking about time travel, and then shit all over the widely accepted theories of why time travel is bad. Also, Steve was being weird and vague about something Barton and Wilson didn’t like, but otherwise,” he shrugged and spoke about how Vision wants to spend time with him. He neglected to mention how happy it made him feel,  but James didn’t need to hear Anton verbally confirm his happiness when he was so clear in expressing it physically. Anton took a cookie from the container in Natalia’s hands, “but how was your day, my Queen? Beside the great Lady Potts making sweets, what happened? Any particularly irritating and/or annoying idiots?” 

With a sigh, Pepper started her long and in depth tale of how her day went. She pulled her heels off and relaxed against the back of the chair she was in halfway into her rant. It seemed that both Anton and Natalia were entranced with what she was saying. James listened with half an ear. He listened for names, and made note of them without really focusing on it. He looked at the half eaten cookie in his hand, the same and first cookie he had been handed several minutes ago. 

“Are you okay, James?” 

“Y-yeah, sorry. Stuck in my head,” he looked at Pepper who nodded at him. He had never thought Pepper, of all people, would tolerate him. She, the first time they met, seemed to greatly dislike him. 

“Well, that pretty much sums up my day. We gonna watch a movie tonight? If so, I think we should introduce James to the classic  _ To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything _ .” 

“Or we could watch  _ Near Dark _ , white trash-but-badass vampires.” 

“I wanna watch  _ Velvet Goldmine _ ,” Anton said. Both Pepper and Natalia turned to look at him. “Uh… I mean… You know what? I’m not gonna take that back. Ewan McGregor is in it, you know he’s my weakness!” 

“I thought Geena Davis, Orlando Bloom, Jenette Goldstein, and Viggo Mortensen were your weaknesses.” 

“Don’t bring them into this… but I am officially adding him to the list. Also, you forgot Gary Oldman.” 

“What happened to Carrie Fisher and Lucy Liu?” Pepper asked. Anton turned to her. Meanwhile, James’ eyes were nearly crossed as he followed the conversation back and forth from the three of them. 

Anton huffed and then said, “I second  _ Natasha’s _ motion to watch  _ Near Dark _ .” 

“You wouldn’t dare.” 

“Oh, but I do. I just did.  _ Near Dark _ is ‘finger lickin’ good’ if you what I mean…” Anton’s demeanor changed, from the playfully indignant friend to the abandoned puppy that would try to have everyone like him no matter what it cost, “here, we can watch Natasha’s tonight, and we will watch yours tomorrow. Is that better? I mean, we should really get a chart so this doesn’t become a common thing.” 

“What about  _ Velvet Goldmine _ ?” James asked. 

“I was just adding to the pool. I don’t really care one way or another.” It was a lie, and James knew it. From the way Natasha and Pepper sighed, they knew it too. Anton knew they knew. “Seriously, I don’t care as long as I get to sit in the middle.” 

That’s how they ended up watching  _ To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! - Julie Newmar _ with Anton settled on the center of the couch with Natalia against one side, Pepper against Natalia, and him on the other side. For someone with a somewhat short attention span, Anton managed to be able to sit still through movies with few issues. Although, he did pull his phone out part way through and sent a few messages before tucking it between his legs and then grabbing another cookie from the small remainder of sweets courtesy of Pepper’s mother. 

When the movie ended, Pepper stood up and stretched out. She kissed Anton’s forehead and excused herself to her room because she was tired and needed to go into work even earlier than usual (which Anton had said was ‘too early’ at six in the morning). It was nearly eleven, and from the way things were, he doubted any of the remaining people on the couch would get any sleep. 

“So, now that Pep’s not here,” Anton shifted a bit, resting his head on James’ shoulder (most likely because it was easier for him since James’ arm was wrapped around his shoulders). Despite moving away from Natalia, he kept his hand on hers. “James and I were talking about Pep’s birthday. The twenty-seventh of next month. Anyway, I was thinking…” 

Natalia and Anton were comfortable discussing what they planned to do for Pepper’s birthday. James spoke once to offer his skills to make her a cake, but that was all he said. That’s all he could offer, really. Did she need someone dead? He could help with that, otherwise, he had no money of his own, he had no real understanding of the new world around him, at least not to the degree that the others had. However, from how thorough they were, as if they were planning an assassination and information extraction rather than a birthday, he knew that they would do everything they could to make Pepper’s birthday the best they could. From what he had heard, she would be turning thirty-six, and the previous parties Anton had thrown were still under his guise of Tony Stark (giving actual gifts in private) so he had lived up to what the world expected, but he didn’t want to lie to Pepper now that she knew and had been so ‘chill’ about it. Anton seemed very aware of Pepper’s feelings and behavioural changes since she found out he was a trained assassin. 

They spoke until early morning. And after they both had their ideas thoroughly noted on their phones, Anton asked FRIDAY to put  _ Near Dark _ on. They watched that movie as well, and James, surrounded by warmth and methodically stroking Anton’s hair, was about to fall asleep. He hadn’t slept since… the night with Anton, he was too anxious to sleep, the night before that, he had been too guilty and  _ scared _ to sleep, but… 

He hadn’t realized he had actually fallen asleep until he was awoken by FRIDAY informing Natalia that it was five-thirty and that she was expected at the veterinarian with Connor in half an hour. 

“ _ Sorry for waking you, Mr. James. It wasn’t my intention. _ ” 

“That’s alright,” Anton was spread out across his lap on his back, holding his phone up in front of his face. Anton peeked around the corner of his device. 

“Good morning.” 

“Yeah, g’morning,” James wiped his face with his hand, rubbing his eyes and wiping the suspicious drool-like substance from the corner of his mouth. “Did you get any sleep?” 

“Nope!” 

“Sounding awful cheerful for someone with no sleep.” 

“Well, you slept and I got really adorable pictures. I’ll delete them if you want, but they are  _ really _ cute,” Anton very obviously didn’t want to delete them since he was peeking over the top of his phone and looking up at him with soft eyes that were glassy, and he had no idea how he could make his eyes look so sad so quickly, but it convinced him that, even if he had wanted to delete the photos, he wouldn’t. 

“No, you can keep them if you want them,” he doubted Anton would allow him (because Anton was more unlikely to let anyone know that James was living with him than even James was) or their relationship (or simply knowing each other) to be found out by anyone not already ‘in the loop.’ Anton sat up and moved to his side. 

“You go do your thing, I’m going to try and reciprocate breakfast. Fair warning, though, your toast will probably be burnt or not toasted nearly enough. Toast is  _ unpredictable _ .” 

“So are you, Antoshka,” James pressed a kiss to his temple as he pushed himself off the couch. “But that’s why we love you.” James stretched as he walked. His shoulder wasn’t sore, per se, but it felt like he needed to move it because the muscle around both his arms were tense and aching like he’d been in the same position for far too long, which, perhaps he had. He hopped in the shower, brushing his teeth as he did. 

By the time he got to the kitchen, maybe ten minutes later, he was greeted with perfectly toasted toast and Anton on the phone with someone. He was sitting at the table, and as soon as James walked in, he rolled his eyes and shook his head. 

“...Look, I know you’re ‘worried,’ but I’m fine… no. Absolutely not. You’re a horrible sweet-talker. Seriously, how were you a spy? Nope. No, no, no. Don’t call me again, and tell whoever game you this number that I’m going to be very angry with him too. I won’t fix that damn buckle for him again… alright, yeah. I get it, I’m a monster. Is that all? Wanna add anything clever to your statement, you brutish asshole?... what!? Me?  _ I’m _ being unreasonable? I’m so confused, and it’s not because you’re smart, it’s because I don’t think you know what you’re talking about, and/or you don’t know how to properly convey what you want me to do, so, lemme tell you again: no. Look, Pepper’s got me doing lots of stuff--” Anton let out a long groan. “You know what, I’m busy, and you’re blocked.” 

Anton set his phone down and smiled at him. James was just curious who he was talking to. 

“Well, you smell good,” Anton took a piece of toast, brushing his phone to the side. “Seriously. I think I appreciate ‘fresh scent’ more when it’s on you than when it’s all the hospital has. I hate hosssss-pi-talllllls…” 

“Who was on the phone?” 

“Barton. Wanted some upgrades because Fury is sending him on some super secret spy mission despite technically being an outlaw and a vigilante with no government support. Without me they’d just be a bunch of idiots running around in dumb costumes fighting enemies that don’t exist or that they helped create… like the least cool version of Batman ever. I mean,  _ I _ work with the US Government, and I’m publicly adored - for the most part - but they’re just… riding on Captain America’s diminishing fame…” 

“He sounds irritating. The more I hear of the others in this building, the more I don’t wish to meet them.” 

“You never have to meet them, if that’s what you want, Snowflake. They never have to know about you, and you never have to confront them. Those are your choices to make, nobody here will make them for you. Unless you ask, but then we will only give opinions, I don’t wanna, like, smother you or anything… I haven’t been  _ smothering _ you, have I? You can totally tell me if you don’t--” 

“Everyone here is wonderful. That includes you…” James took a bite of the toast, looking at Anton. Of course, Anton had focused on a particular scratch on the table and was crushing the edges of his toast with his fingers, only a few bites taken from one corner. Crumbs fell to the tabletop and he pushed them around as he brushed his fingers over the scratch that seemed so interesting. “I had a really nice dream, last night. Do you wanna hear about it?” Anton perked up. 

“Sure, Sugar!” 

James told him about his mundane dream where the kids were fighting over who got to slice up the cake that they had, for some unknown reason, made together. They, of course, chased each other with knives (because what child didn’t do that?). The oddest part of it all wasn’t that it didn’t make much sense, but the kids, DUM-E and U, were little humans, and FRIDAY, looking like a brunette Natalia at fourteen years old, was sitting on the table flinging sour cream at them. He had no idea why he was dreaming of baking, or why it was only about the kids, but he hadn’t been there. He was an observer to the events of his own dream. 

Despite it making no sense to James, Anton found it amusing and when he finished telling him about his dream, Anton offered to invite the kids upstairs so they could play together. 

James spent the next few hours playing fetch in the living room with two large robots and Anton sitting in the middle of the chaos on the couch. It was an odd day. Natalia came back, too, with Connor a few hours after the kids came up from the workshop. She rolled her eyes and caught the ball with one hand before throwing it. All the bots went running, and Connor struggled to get out of her arms, but she shushed him and took him upstairs. 

The day was peculiar, but it was so domestic and heartwarming that he didn’t want to deal with anything beside similarly sweet days. 

It was also nerve-racking, though, because this felt eerie similar to the calm before the storm. He thought that something bad was going to happen, and he was terrified because he didn’t want it. Did anyone? 


	11. Natasha's POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pepper and Natasha's Vacation: Interrupted. 
> 
> Karpov's an issue, a liability. Termination is required.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is sorta-mostly fluff. There's a brief interlude with the Avengers, but then it gets back to nicer times with Pepper. 
> 
> If you weren't aware (from the relationship tags) Pepper and Natasha will, at some point, engage in a romantic relationship. They had quite a lot to get through, though, so that may take a while before anything really happens between them. Unlike Tony and James, they don't remember each other and like each other, they have gone from animosity (for the "Natalie Incident") to tentative friendship (via 'training' time), to actual friends (the here and now).

Natasha’s POV

It had been a month since they started the ‘schedule’ that Pepper had written. It was September twenty-fifth and Tony had just handed her a wrapped box and walked away without saying anything. Natasha was hesitant to open it, but she did anyway. She liked to think that she and Tony were close enough to not need to be afraid, but that fear of everyone else, to watch for bad intentions because they were ingrained in humanity, lingered. Inside the box was an index card with Tony’s writing and a debit card taped to the back, and under it was an envelope with a ticket to Dahab, Egypt. Beneath that was a black case, much like those that artists used to store large tubes of paint, but slipped inside was a set of knives reminiscent of the one James carried. These, however, were most definitely made by Tony, whereas James’ were made by contractors of Department X. There was no brand on them, no ‘Stark Industries,’ but there was a spider carved into the bottom of the pommel.

She would have gone to Tony to ask what the ticket was for, but she knew exactly what it was for. He was pushing for her to go with Pepper on vacation. She thought it was a bad idea, but she also saw opportunity there. An opportunity that she was going to take. The index card was just, “;)”. She couldn’t find it in herself to be annoyed even a little. Instead she was just fondly amused by Tony.

On the twenty-sixth, she was sitting on the couch to the jet Tony rented for them, because apparently if a Stark Industries or Stark Jet were to leave, he was sure someone would follow (Natasha, despite not wanting to, truly believe that he was right, and that they should act on the side of caution). So, there she was. Pepper stood by the entrance of the jet and said thanks to Happy before taking her bags and walking inside. She set them down and met Natasha’s eyes immediately.

“Hello Natasha,” Pepper looked down and rested her luggage by Natasha’s duffel bag. (It was mostly plain, but there was an iron-on patch of a ‘space cat’ courtesy of Tony.) The door shut behind Pepper and she sat down across the way from Natasha. “Tony didn’t mention you were coming, but I’m sure he sent you.”

“He can be very persuasive.”

“Tell me about it. He managed to get me to go to Egypt. He had FRIDAY clear my schedule and then take on what he could for the next week. He wasn’t just persuasive, he was determined to get me to the beach. But, here I am. He _is_ good at what he does, so it shouldn’t surprise me.”

Pepper looked so different when she wasn’t dressed in a suit or formally. Natasha had always seen Pepper in form-fitting professional outfits with heels that bordered the line of too high for a business setting and just right (and entirely deadly). The floral, formless sundress that she was wearing was just… odd. Perhaps that is what Pepper felt when she saw Natasha in a cardigan. Although instead of laughing, Natasha was trying to take in the details she could while also not looking for too long. Where those flat sandals? A shock, but a good one.

“He wants you to have fun.”

“I will never understand why he is so determined to make other people happy, and take all their burdens as his own in the process.”

“I’m surprised such a thing managed to stay with him after his training, but then again, I hear our training differed greatly,” Natasha saw Pepper flinch, and decided to refrain from bringing up the Red Room or Department X at all. It wasn’t something she didn’t like talking about in great detail to people who didn’t understand, even if that person was Pepper, anyway. “He doesn’t think he deserves happiness. Or at least that’s what I think.”

“And you know him so well?” Pepper’s voice was harsh, as was her tilted eyebrows and tight frown, but she deflated again with a sigh. “I’m sorry. That wasn’t fair. Out of the two of us, you probably know him better than I do, or at least you understand him better, but I hope you’re not offended if I don’t think you’re a very good judge of character.”

“No offense taken. I haven’t been fair, and I had been blinded by subjective information that I didn’t truly believe in. I am sorry for it, now, but at the time, I’ll admit, I had no problem forging just about anything SHIELD asked of me.”

“At least you know better now.”

It was a fourteen hour trip, and when they landed, Natasha took it upon herself to observe everything there that she could. The trees, the man who drove them in a small cab, the way the beach looked as the sun set. At the hotel, she walked into the room first. She heard Pepper huff, but she wasn’t sure if it was because she was annoyed at Natasha entering the room before her since it was her birthday, or if she was annoyed by her paranoia. It wasn’t paranoid if it was real, after all. She checked everywhere she could think, everywhere she as trained and then some more places she learned hands-first, and she found nothing. Pepper slid her shoes off and sat on her bed. There were two queen beds, and Natasha was sure this was Tony’s plan to get them to spend time together. They were closer than they had been when Pepper was brought into the ‘assassin fold,’ but they weren’t best friends. Natasha wasn’t sure she was capable of having a true best friend with someone without similar training to her own, not like she had with Tony. She wasn’t sure if Pepper was capable of not hating her, although Natasha could agree she had done truly horrible things to Tony. It was odd that she could take out two families in a night, but she hurts Tony and Tony’s the one who received an apology. There was always going to be a disconnect from her humanity, she knew, but Tony seemed to manage his talents well, and he was very much human. Dramatic on a good day and absolutely ridiculous on the worst, but he was expressive either way. She lacked the ability, and from what she’d seen, so did Pepper and James.

“He wants us to have fun. So, let’s just try to forget everything we did wrong, just, I’m meeting you now, again. It’s not fair to hold it against you, you didn’t know anything beside that life. You are not a terrible person, though, and I have been wrong in demonizing you. Here, I’ll start, so put away your skepticism, Tony says emotional ignorance was the best way to cope,” Pepper sat on the edge of her bed across from Natasha. “So, I’m Virginia Potts, but please call me Pepper.”

Natasha looked at the offered hand skeptically. Could they just put everything behind them? Pretend it never happened? She realized that she liked that idea and was perfectly comfortable of trying to put her abuse of Tony and Pepper behind her.

“Natasha Romanoff,” she took her hand, and Natasha felt silly. They were grown women, but at the same time, it was more cathartic than Natasha had imagined. She would never get a ‘clean slate,’ but this was a step in the right direction, right?

***

The next day was Pepper’s birthday. Natasha hadn’t known what to get her. Birthdays weren’t something she really paid attention to in the past. She pulled the rectangular box from her bag and looked it over. Hopefully Pepper would like it. Tony promised that his presents would be delivered and James had kicked the side of his foot with the other and grunted. He seemed as lost as her when it came to gift giving. Pepper, believe it or not, was very different from the three of them, whether they liked to consciously acknowledge it or not.

Natasha felt awkward. She was sitting up, cross-legged on the bed. She was wearing comfortable clothes, she wasn’t going to wear a catsuit to bed, but she hadn’t slept. She hadn’t done much of anything beside try to think about the many possibilities and accept just how afraid of being unsure of the future she truly was. She would look over, and Pepper would be asleep and so vulnerable. Natasha pried the lid off the box. She looked at the dagger. There were so many knives being passed around. It was what she got, her first gift ever, even if it wasn’t truly a gift. She proved herself capable, was handed a knife, told it was her own, and then told to fight for her life. She won. Nadia wasn’t as lucky. She was given Nadia’s knife too, a prize they told her. ‘They’ was actually just one man, _The Winter Soldier_. She had lost both of those knives long ago, and they would be useless to her now anyway. They weren’t built for a trained body, they were meant to kill, but they weren’t durable enough to repeatedly use. No, she didn’t get a knife meant to be used on real missions until she was thirteen.

It was eight in the morning. For them, at least. Pepper was still asleep, and Natasha didn’t know what to do with herself. She couldn’t just go punch some punching bags, or tell Connor stories (although she would deny she did so), and she hadn’t heard a single shout from Tony and it was _weird_. When did silence become uncomfortable for her? She used to prefer it, but now, it only made her more aware of everything around her. She heard things from outside the room. The walking of other vacationers, the opening and closing of doors, the sounds of zippers. The steady pulse of Pepper on the other bed, and her surprisingly heavy breathing.

She decided to go find food. It was Pepper’s birthday, she should be treated like a princess. That’s how it worked, right? She didn’t celebrate her birthday, but Wanda had mentioned how for her birthday her brother and ‘Stucker’ had a large party and doted on her. She had left quickly after because Wanda had started crying over her brother, and Natasha didn’t know how to handle that.

When Natasha came back with raspberry tarts. She had found herself wandering for about twenty minutes before walking into a German bakery. She hadn’t expected it, but it was interesting. She opened the door as quietly as she could, but when she looked inside, Pepper was already sitting up with a paper cup full of coffee.

“Good morning,” Natasha shut the door behind her. “I got some breakfast. Well, it’s more like dessert, but hopefully you’ll like them.” She set the small box down and handed one to Pepper on a napkin. Pepper looked up at her before she looked down at the tart. Natasha didn’t want to stare, so she got herself one and sat on the corner of her bed.

“This is great,” Pepper finished it and then stood up. She went to the bathroom and came out with hands free of sugar before getting Natasha a cup of coffee.

“Thanks,” Natasha took the cup. She had to agree, though, these tarts were really good. Were they really tarts, or were they danishes? She never really needed to know the difference, but now she wasn’t so sure. She had just pointed and paid. She sipped the coffee. It was cheap, but it wasn’t terrible. She wasn’t a coffee connoisseur, not like Tony at least, and she didn’t know if Pepper was a coffee snob, but she didn’t seem to mind it.

“Sleep well?” Natasha didn’t answer. “Did you sleep at all?”

“Just couldn’t get comfortable, I guess.”

“Oh,” Pepper moved and sat down on Natasha’s bed, sitting beside her. “Hopefully you can sleep tonight then, or even take a nap. It’s early, but we could go to the beach. I haven’t been to a beach that wasn’t California in so long. Things are different when your best friend’s house now sits at the bottom of the ocean, I just can’t find the beauty there anymore, but from what I saw, this place is beautiful.”

“Sounds good,” she stood up. “I’m gonna get changed, then.”

She got up and walked to the bathroom with her duffel bag. The last time they were that close was when they were sparring and training, and she had broken one of Pepper’s ribs. She got dressed. She came prepared and since she didn’t plan on actually getting into the water, she had a small gun on her hip, covered by the flowy cover up she wore over her bathing suit. She pulled her hair up in a tiny ponytail to keep it up from her neck. She peeked out of the bathroom.

“Should I wait to come out?”

“No, I’m good,” Natasha had to agree. Pepper was good, and very cute. Without her heels, bun, and a look that could make Nick Fury cry, she was actually very adorable. Never before had she even thought about Pepper in teal, but it looked very good on her. “Armed and dangerous?”

“Always,” Pepper smiled at her. Natasha had never seen her aim such a nice smile at her. She smiled back.

“Sunscreen. I’m not going to fry in the sun, no matter how beautiful it is,” Natasha nodded and wondered if she should use sunscreen. Most definitely. It felt gross, like oil and it was warming against her skin to be warmer than she felt, and that wasn’t a nice feeling at all. Soon, though, they were ready to go. Pepper had a bag with towels and some other things that Natasha couldn’t really see from where she stood.

***

Once they were actually on the sandy beach, Pepper took her phone from the bag and took a few pictures of everything and then she threw a towel down. The sounds of the beach were nice. Relaxing. She sat on her own towel, resting back and trying to ignore the voices of other tourists being loud. Footsteps. They got closer. Someone passing by, this was a large area. But they came closer and stopped. Natasha cracked an eye open and saw legs beside her head. She looked up and saw Steven Grant Rogers looming over her like a pillar.

“Mr. Hogan said that you and Ms. Potts had come here on vacation. It’s a nice coincidence, really, because I need your help.”

More footsteps. Natasha sat up and turned to see that most everyone was here. Sam, Steve, and Wanda. Clint wasn’t there, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t around. She looked to her side where Pepper was on her side, staring at them.

“It hasn’t even been one day since we’ve been gone,” Natasha had half a mind to shoot Steve in the foot and tell him she was on vacation. She had never had something like this before, and she would be damned if her chance and being somewhat normal around the woman she liked very much would be ruined by these idiots.

“I know. We just got the information, and we thought that it’d be best to get it out of the way now, so you can enjoy the rest of your time here,” Steve seemed to want to make it sound as though they were being the good ones here, that they weren’t purposely intruding on this event because they wanted something from her, something they couldn’t do by themselves apparently. She bet it had to do with one of two people: Tony or James. They had no connection to link the two together, so that was out of the question.

“What do you need me to do?”

“Natasha?!” She turned to Pepper. She sounded so hurt, betrayed. Natasha was considering pulling out her gun and shooting people again, but that would only stain this bare beach with blood, and she didn’t need that. She didn’t want to ruin this for Pepper, it was her birthday! She should be having fun, not dealing with the Avengers trying to whisk her away.

“Do you know of a General Vasily Karpov?” Natasha tensed. That was not a good sign. Karpov wouldn’t know anything, and if he did, he knew things that some people shouldn’t ever know might be informed.

“He ran Department X.”

“We have reason to believe that Bucky was taken in by Russia at some point, and he might know where he is.”

“Where did you get this information? A reliable source?” That’s when Clint ran forward. He skidded to a stop and hunched over to breathe deeply, catching his breath. She didn’t spare him more than a brief glance.

“It was Sam, actually. Well, a contact of Sam’s who works with some powerful people. Anyway, it’s great that you’re here because his last known address is here in Dahab. Some cottage a few hours away,” Steve was wearing his red, white, and blue uniform, shield in one hand, and everyone else seemed to be dressed in full Avenger’s gear. She wanted to tell them to not get sand in too much, Sam’s wings could malfunction, Clint would be too hot in his costume, and Wanda would complain for at least an hour about sand in her boots. She just wanted them off the beach. Just gone.

“How’d you get here?”

“Quinjet.”

“Let me talk with Pepper, alone, and I will meet you in the quinjet. Keep it uncloaked.”

“Nat, it’s important that we hurry.”

“Let me speak with Pepper and I will find you. The quicker you leave, the quicker we can talk, and the quicker we can save your buddy,” Steve gave a dejected sigh and took a good two minutes to turn and walk around. She waited until they were gone before, nearly out of her eyesight, before she turned to Pepper. She looked upset, and not upset by anger, upset and sad. “I want you to know, right now, that I am not choosing the Avengers over you, if that’s what you are upset about. I want you to have a wonderful time, you deserve it, but if the Avengers are looking over our shoulders, I don’t think you will be able to enjoy yourself as much. I’ll be back as soon as I can. I wanted to start this whole ‘start-over’ thing with something good, and I’m sorry that I haven’t.

“But I also _need_ to go. God knows what Karpov would say without being properly _aware_ that certain facts should remain _unheard and unknown_. Here,” she slid the gun from her side as discreetly as she could and tucked it in the bag Pepper brought, beneath one of the extra towels. “It’s loaded, you just need to flip the safety off. If the Avengers are here, and if Karpov is here, I don’t really know who else is wondering around, but nobody nice,” Natasha stood up, she really wanted to sit back down and pretend to not look at Pepper, but also observing her from the corner of her eye. It wasn’t weird because Tony and James did the same thing with each other, right? It was similar.

“I think you should eliminate the loose end.”

Natasha nearly stumbled over her feet while trying to fold the towel. Did she hear that right? Of course she did. She looked at Pepper who met her gaze.

“If he knows, then he is a liability. It would be easier to just make sure he can’t tell anyone anything, don’t you think?”

“I agree… completely. I’ll find a way to terminate the threat. I’ll ask Tony to find anyone else living that know, and they will be handled accordingly. You’re right. They’re a risk we cannot leave to chance.”

Natasha finished folding the towel, and she walked off, completely forgetting about her sunglasses. She got to the hotel room. She hadn’t packed her catsuit, she hadn’t thought it would be necessary, and all her other clothes were functional to operate should their be a threat. The issue now was the Avengers. They had never seen her in anything else when fighting. She took off her bathing suit and washed herself off. She wasn’t going to forget her comfort just because Steve needed her. She pulled on some jeans and a shirt on top. She grabbed the knives she did carry and two of the guns from the four she brought (Pepper had one of them on the beach). She put on socks and boots and left to find the quinjet. They managed to land in one of those places that was tricky to get out, partially because of the terrain and partly because the onlookers. She walked up to where they were sitting and leaning around the back of the jet.

“You look like a lesbian,” Clint said. She wasn’t sure if he was trying to be playful or insulting. His tone could have been both.

“Wow, I wonder why?” Natasha responded. She glared at Clint. He had been the first person she ever confided in, and now she could hardly stand him. She climbed aboard, but she was moved from the controls by Sam and Clint who were apparently going to be flying. She didn’t like not being in control of something like this, her life was put in their hands, if they crashed, there was a very high chance of injury. It was only a few hours away, and despite Clint being annoying, he was still trained, just as Sam was. She held onto one of the bars hanging from the roof to hold herself steady as they lifted and flew off. She wasn’t planning on talking to any of them. She was there to protect herself and her family, not to help them find a dead man.

Despite trying to ignore them, it was hard to ignore the staring from Steve and Wanda.

“Something wrong?” She asked. That seemed to startle them since Steve jolted a bit.

“Uh, nope. Nothing at all.”

“Is that why you’re here with Ms. Potts? Are you her lover?” Wanda asked. Steve looked at Wanda and then back to her, apparently he wanted to know as well. She really disliked them sometimes, more than just ‘dislike.’

“No. I’m here with her because we’re friends.”

“But don’t you…?”

“I don’t think that is any of your business. Either of you.”

“Is that why you’ve been spending so much time with Tony?” Steve asked.

“Tony is a good person. I stay because he is also my friend. Anymore questions?” They shook their heads, and Natasha just looked back to the front window. They landed about forty-five minutes after that. Steve walked out of the quinjet first, shield up and ready to break in. Natasha grabbed his shoulder and jerked him back. “He trained assassins and spies for most of his life, do you think he doesn’t have some sort of defense? You guys stand over there, out of sight, I will ease his discomfort and on my signal you can join me,” Steve looked uncomfortable, “He may never talk if he’s threatened.”

“Alright. You go first. Signal us when you’re ready.”

Natasha straightened her shirt and knocked on the front door. The cottage was nice. White on the outside with lightly stained and glossy wooden boards. There were red boxes off each window in the front of the cottage filled with flourishing flowers of all sorts of colours. There was a mat on the front door, and she saw that there was a spider on each corner of different species. Interesting. Then again, the Wolf Spider and Black Widow programs had been his most successful ideas, only topped by the acquisition of the Winter Soldier.

There was shuffling from inside the door, and there was the slide of the lock being pulled. The door opened and Natasha saw an old man. He was not a physical threat, but his mind, unless it was damaged, was very dangerous. He looked at her and smiled.

“Ah, Natalia Romanova. _The_ Black Widow. I never met you in person, but I heard many wonderful things about your progress from before,” his brows furrowed. “But, why are you here?”

She leaned forward and whispered to him. “The Avengers are around the corner of your house. They will ask for the Winter Soldier’s information, and you will tell them nothing,” she pulled back. “Am I understood?”

“They won’t let you kill me. Not with that Captain America fellow. What are you to them? Just someone pretending to be a hero, right? You’re not a superhero, Natalia, you are a weapon. Speaking of the Winter Soldier, I heard he was in Taiwan when he mysteriously disappeared from HYDRA’s radars. I wonder who could have pulled off such an amazing feat. Someone clever enough to break the best, perhaps it was you, Natalia. Your teammate is Tony Stark, is he not?” She pulled him back into the house and dragged him to the couch. She sat down and held the gun under her thigh and aimed at his hip.

“You guys can come in!” She called. Steve rushed in.

“I thought you were going to give us a signal.”

“I did. I told you to come in,” she crossed one leg over the other. “From what I heard, though, Karpov doesn’t remember much about _Bucky_. He retired in the nineties, and the Winter Soldier had been sold shortly after. He isn’t likely to know much.”

“He said something about Bucky disappearing from Taiwan?”

“Yes. I have heard whispers and ripples in the wind and water. He disappeared. No cameras could manage to catch him, and HYDRA’s electronic base was so destroyed by whoever had attacked them that I only know of one person who would care so much, and have the skill to do such a thing. Nephila, but you--” She shot him in the leg. The shot resounded and Karpov held his thigh.

“What the hell Nat?” Steve said, pushing her away from Karpov and picking him up. He was pressing against the wound in his leg, but he was old, and the bullet went clean through and burned the fabric due to its close proximity. Natasha had positioned it right, of course she did, so when she fired, he would bleed out too quickly to be able to talk. Steve started shouting, something like ‘no, no, no,’ and Wanda was using magic to do whatever she thought she could do to help, but Karpov was dead. She watched the light die as they stared at each other over Steve’s shoulder. Steve got up and sighed. “He was our only hope.”

“Well, he mentioned Nephila, right. Who the hell is that? Maybe she knows,” Sam motioned at Natasha.

“I’m afraid there was no Nephila in my dormitory during my training.”

Steve pushed through the crowd, purposely hitting his shoulder against Natasha’s as he walked. He started digging through things. He tore through the kitchen and the bathroom, the dining room and the living room. He turned to the last room, a shut door. When he opened it, his gasp was loud enough to have them all focus their attention on him. Natasha tried to see through Steve’s body, but she couldn’t get a good look at anything. She pushed Steve forward, and he stumbled for a moment before dropping to his knees. Natasha looked around the room. There were four walls in this room, as most rooms have, and each wall was covered in photos and articles for a different purpose. There was one for the Winter Soldier. That is the one Steve had been staring at. The other was of her, and she wanted to set all the clippings on fire. Actually, she wanted this entire cottage to burn to the ground. The third wall was of Tony. And the four wall was about HYDRA as a whole. Of course he would take his three greatest weapons and stalk them from a distance. Wanda walked into the room, and rested her hands on Steve’s shoulders as she looked around. Natasha looked at her own wall, and then to Tony’s. She read some of the clippings. There was a photo of Tony when he had first built DUM-E from a newspaper. There was photos of him from magazines, and there were an abundance of clippings based on Iron Man. There were yellow marks all over the papers. He had chosen certain words, he had picked certain things. She pulled the picture of the spider from Tony’s wall. On the back, in dark red letters was _Nephila clavata_. She put it in her bra. Nobody would dare try and take it from there, and if they did, they’d lose a hand at the least. She looked over the rest of the articles on Tony’s wall.

There was a folded paper under a picture of Tony. She pulled the thumbtacks holding them to the wall off, and opened the paper. It was two pictures of two different spiders, and beside them were small photos of actual people. She took that, too. She looked down at the desk beneath the wall of clippings. There was no doubt some sensitive information in there too. She just didn’t know how to take it. She had already shot a man in the leg, killed him, for what the Avengers saw as merciless. She could say that he brought forth bad memories, but she doubted that would convince everyone. They would be even worse now that they have a name, Nephila, and a wall of information about Tony Stark and a desk brimming with information she needed to destroy.

Behind her, Steve was on the ground, and Wanda rubbed a shoulder while Sam patted his back. He was crying. She didn’t know why he was crying. There was nothing terrible on his wall. She moved and stood in front of him. Nobody said anything, though. They were too busy comforting Steve. She looked at some of the articles and clippings. There were death reports of so many people, and names with red lines through them. There were pictures of the Winter Soldier, from when he was the Winter Soldier. There were rough, grainy photos pulled from places that looked more recent. There were two photos that disturbed her most, though. They were in black and white, and they each had the Winter Soldier standing to the side of them. They were the full groups of the Black Widows and the Wolf Spiders. She ripped those pictures down. She was tempted to tear them apart. She ripped the photo of the Winter Soldier off both of the photos and tucked them in her jeans before shredding the other pictures up into tiny pieces. She turned to look at Steve. He had stopped crying, and instead he just looked at a photo he must have carried around with him of Bucky from the forties.

“Let’s go. I’m torching this place, and then I’m going back on vacation.”

She walked out of the room and went to look for some sort of accelerant for the fire. She only found a bottle of rubbing alcohol. She needed it to last, but she knew where she was starting the fire. She dug around the kitchen, looking through the mess Steve had made, and found a book of matches and a lighter. She took the matches and went back to the room. Clint was standing in front of Tony’s wall.

“Move.”

“No. What the hell does this guy want with Stark? He’s like a creepy stalker, but creepier. Look, if he has pictures of you and the Winter Soldier, then how does Stark fit this? And if you have a connection with the Winter Soldier and he trained you, it would make sense that Stark is the companion wall to HYDRA. What if he’s been HYDRA this _entire_ time?!” She pulled her gun out again. She wanted to rip the tear on Clint’s suit. He could wear what Tony made him, take money from Tony, shelter, food, and whatever else, but somehow he was HYDRA.

She couldn’t debate it without causing more suspicion. What could she even say to that? He obviously wasn’t HYDRA, but it sure could seem like it.

“Move, or I’ll drop you like a fly.”

“You know something! You know why Stark’s so important. You need to tell us, c’mon you know about keeping secrets. You know what it can do to the team.” She moved the gun to the side of his face, over his shoulder but near his ear and shot. He crashed to the floor and held his ear. She doused the desk in rubbing alcohol and threw two matches at it.

“Let’s go.”

She waited outside by the quinjet for twenty minutes. She was tempted to take off without them, but she had done some things that they didn’t like today. Things that are going to make them cautious around her as it is. They may actually try to put her on ‘house arrest’ too if she ‘stepped out of line’ again. Soon, though, the fire broke through the windows of that side of the room, and the four were forced outside coughing and choking on smoke, desperate for fresh air. They boarded the quinjet. They were silent, and they didn’t speak to her at all, although Steve and Clint were glaring something fierce.

They stopped back where they had been originally.

“Are you gonna tell us what that was about back there?” Steve asked.

“No.”

He sighed, “Natasha,” he placed his hands on her shoulders and she would have pushed him away on instinct if she hadn’t grown so used to being touched by Tony, James, and Pepper. They usually hugged her or patted her back when she did something good, but Steve’s fingers were digging into her collar bones. “It would be easier if you just told us. It would probably make you feel a lot better. Get that off your shoulders.”

“The only thing I want to get off my shoulders are your hands. I’m here for five more days, and I don’t want to be bothered,” she jerked back and out of Steve’s grip, “and if you hound Tony, I’ll know, and you will regret it.”

“Is that a threat?” Sam asked as she walked away, back to them.

“Yeah, it is.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is in Pepper's POV, the first time she will have a POV, and I'm not sure how many more will come after. Also, I'm considering adding a few of the other Avengers' POV chapters just to get a glance inside their heads too. They do have ideas and plans, they just haven't interacted much with Natasha, Tony, Pepper, and James (especially James). (I'm thinking Sam's POV, because he's the most level-headed of the group. Also, where's Vision? The world may never know.)


	12. Pepper's POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha comes back for Pepper's birthday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I don't want to say this is a filler chapter, because it sort of does push the plot forward, but it is pretty fluffy. An indulgence of mine. I want to take care and protect all the characters I love, but bad things happen sometimes (too often) and they deserve the happiness where they can get it. 
> 
> Also, I usually don't write in Pepper's POV, so this was interesting. I think I like it, but I still prefer the other three POVs better (I have more time writing for them, so I think I know them a bit better than Pepper).

Pepper’s POV

Pepper had stayed on the beach after Natasha left for about thirty minutes. They hadn’t been speaking, they hadn’t been too close, but she had been there. She packed up and went back to the hotel room. She picked Natasha’s bathing suit up off the floor and hung it up to dry on the back of the bathroom door before she took a shower. She sat down while the water rained from above her. She hadn’t done that since she was young, when she was a teenager actually, but she just relaxed there. She stayed there for maybe an hour, but her fingers were prune-y and she wanted to just curl up under the blankets of her bed and maybe see if she could find somewhere that could bring a cake. This place had to have room service, right? Tony tended to go far beyond what people expected, so she learned to stop expecting and just accepting that he did things because he thought they would make her happy. 

She had been given a suitcase full of presents. That’s why she had so many of them to take. She didn’t want to open them, though. She would have to video call with Tony, he always seemed happier when she opened his presents, like he accomplished something grand. Her heart broke for him everytime she realized how harsh she had been in the beginning, how he hadn’t needed her to lecture him, he had needed her to keep him from breaking apart. He was fractured into so many pieces and tape (read: alcohol) could only hold him together for so long. 

She waited another hour, on her phone. Tony and James had both sent her a bunch of pictures. There was one of Tony asleep on the paperwork he had gotten and a thumbs up from James with the message ‘finally got him to sleep!’ under it. There was also one of James sleeping this time, but Connor was asleep on his chest. His message was ‘payback for sending you a picture of me drooling.’ 

That morning he sent her a message: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! 

While she had been on the beach, he had sent a picture of the new material he had been making so he could make them all uniforms that were lighter and more durable while also being durable and tough enough to keep them safe if they were shot, for example. He said he’d be testing it on himself and James, but mostly James because James didn’t want to shoot him and it needed to be tested to withhold any sort of bullets. That was two hours ago, and she was quickly telling him to not shoot James, even in the name of science. A second later, he sent a smiley face with ‘it didn’t work,’ and then a clip of James digging a bullet out of his side. 

_ “Goddamn this hurts,”  _ James looked up at Tony.  _ “Are you filming this? Okay, I take it back. I wanna shoot you next time.” _

_ “Next time it’ll work, though, and I won’t even get a scratch!” _

_ “If you send this to Pepper I won’t make you coffee cake again.”  _

_ “What!? No! Uh--”  _ the video stopped and she got a random blur of letters a few seconds later. She called them. Tony picked up the phone. 

“ _ That was my ear, James! _ ” 

“ _ Fine. _ ” 

“ _ That’s my hair. You stay away, Pepper just called me and she will lecture you even from Egypt. _ ” 

“Tony? James? What’s going on?” 

“ _ James pulled my earlobe, so I pulled his hair and then he gave me that threatening ‘I’m gonna kill you’ look as he had the knife back in his side. It was eerie as fuck… so how has your day been? Having fun? _ ” 

“I was, but Natasha left. The Avengers came to pick her up, and she’s been gone for a few hours now. I was just feeling lonely and you two seemed like you were having  _ fun _ , so I thought I’d call.” 

“ _ Pepper? _ ” James asked, there was a rustle. 

“ _ Here, let’s video call. It’s your birthday! That means presents! _ ” The call disconnected and a second later she accepted the video request. Tony had a bandaid on his cheek and James was hunched over on the couch cleaning his wound with rubbing alcohol and cotton balls. Tony tapped James’ shoulder and he looked to the camera. 

“ _ Pepper! Presents! I want you to open mine first! _ ” 

“They’re almost all from you.” 

“ _ Well, yeah, but James has a two presents for you too. I know Nat got you something, but I guess you won’t know until she gets back… what did she have to do so bad that she had to leave you alone? That’s a dick move, by the way, James’ll talk to her. _ ” 

“ _ And say what? ‘You were an asshole, now apologize and get in time-out’? I don’t think anything I say will make her anything but angry. I’m sorry, though, Pepper. She’ll be back, though. Abandoning a team mate is grounds for execution. _ ” 

“ _ No! No execution allowed. _ ” 

“I _ wasn’t gonna execute her. FRIDAY would. I don’t even like being in the weapons closet, you think I’d be comfortable actually killing someone? _ ” Tony sighed. 

“ _ No, ‘cause you’re a big ol’ teddy bear… Presents! Let’s move onto presents! _ ” 

Pepper pulled the suitcase up onto the bed and unzipped it. She picked up the first gift. Tony watched intently, as he always did, and she thanked him, as she always tried, and he didn’t know how to accept it so he just waved it off. She got to the last two presents, but they were different from the others. One was from James, and the other was from ‘James & Tony.’ 

“ _ Ooooh, she’s gotten to the good stuff. _ ” 

“It’s all good stuff, Tony,” she pulled the paper off the box. She opened it up and found a photo album. She checked the label, and it was the one from just James. She opened the brown cover with gold trim and found a ton of pictures of her and Tony, and more of Tony and Nat, and more of just her. Some of them were pretty old, like from when she first became Tony’s Personal Assistant old. She didn’t say anything for a long time, just looking at all the pictures. She hadn’t realized she had been captured on camera so many times. There were notes slipped into the pages too. Some of them looked like her handwriting, and others looked like Tony’s, but she couldn’t remember most of them. At the end there was a picture of them on the night Pepper had found Natasha and Tony fighting in the kitchen. When Natasha and Tony had latched onto her and promptly fell asleep while James looked over at them partially terrified and partially hopeful and hurting. 

“ _ FRIDAY took that one. She says she has a bunch of pictures but nobody asks to see them. She is trying to learn about emotions. She says that watching us and trying to remember how we express ourselves is helping her, _ ” James said. Pepper never noticed James paying much attention. Yes, she watched him watching Tony, but that was so she could check for his intentions. She loved Tony to death, but he had the worst judgement in character. Probably because he wants the broken ones, and he wants the ones that reaffirm how horrible he feels about himself. Tony Stark, hot shot playboy, had no issues, he was the king of the world. Tony, her Tony, was trying to give and give until there was nothing left for him to give, and it would only hurt him because people could see that and take advantage of it. The Avengers had for almost four years. She was thankful that Natasha stepped in when she did, that Tony decided to trust her, that they found James. He wasn’t better, he would never be truly ‘better,’ but he could learn how to cope and how to accept the love he throws at other people. Not just ‘accept’ it, but recognize it as true and because they enjoyed his company, not because they wanted something from him. 

“ _ Open the joint gift. You’re gonna love it! _ ” Pepper looked at the larger box and opened it up, trying not to laugh at how excited Tony seemed. She pulled out high heels. She didn’t understand. “ _ Push the front, where the toes go, down. _ ” 

She did, and then she realized that pressing the front released a blade from the heel. She did laugh that time. 

“You always said I could kill someone with my heels. I guess I really can now.” 

“ _ Well, this would be much more efficient, that’s for sure. You could ninja kick him in the throat and boom, he’d be dead in a second. I’d even help clean the blood and hide the body… actually, we wouldn’t hide the body, it would be absolutely decimated. Nobody would find  _ anything _ , _ ” the three of them were laughing. 

“ _ It sounds like you put a lot of thought into it _ .” 

“ _ I don’t trust those assholes who think they know better than Pep. I’m just saying that murdering them probably isn’t the worst thing. We’d be saving people in the long run, _ ” Tony looked at her and offered her that smile that looked almost hesitant, that one so different from the ‘press smile’ that it made him look young and vulnerable. There was a jostling of the door, and Pepper looked to the door. She only half-expected Natasha. Yes, Natasha had been kind about it, and she had no obligation to stay with her, but Pepper really liked Natasha when she wore her cardigans and carried a gun to the beach because she was paranoid (although whether it was ‘paranoia’ or not was arguable), or when she didn’t know how to interact outside of manipulating people, so she was just stumbling around like a toddler trying to understand but also keeping herself as graceful as possible. Pepper grabbed the gun from beside her. Flip the safety off, she could do that, but she could do that quick and she didn’t want to accidentally shoot Natasha. 

The door opened and Natasha walked inside the room. She shut the door and sunk to the floor. 

“Are you alright?” Pepper lowered the gun, “I gotta go, guys. I’ll call later. Love you,” she disconnected quickly and abandoned her phone on the bed. Natasha was pulling papers from her clothes and setting them on the floor. Pepper got on her knees before her and looked at the photos. 

“He was stalking Tony. I don’t care about me, I’m open with who and what I am, but now they know that Karpov is somehow connected to Tony. They think it’s through HYDRA. I think that’s better than the truth at this point.” 

The pictures were of Tony, when he was young, a death certificate of Mikhail Averin, Misha. She hadn’t heard much on that subject, but she knew it was important. There were two photos of James, or at least what she thought was James (he had a mask on), that looked like they were torn from a photo. She didn’t know what to make of them. 

“I sent a text to James, but I didn’t know how to tell Tony without being blunt so… what if they try and get to him, what if they find out? And Clint’s goddamn buckle was driving me crazy! Sam and his stupid contacts with the stupid military and I would like to know what idiot gave away confidential information to someone with such little resources as Sam. He couldn’t have legally done that, does Steve know he broke the law? Sam’s a hero, he can’t do bad things like that. That’s why I always did those things.” 

“Hey, hey,” Pepper pushed the photos the side and moved a little closer. “They can handle this. Tony handled it before anyone knew, he can do it again. Yes, he shouldn’t need to, but these sorts of situations just aren’t fair. FRIDAY will keep them safe, and if FRIDAY can’t, then the bots will, and if the bots can’t, then James will, and if James can’t, I’m sure Tony can take care of himself. That man defies the law of death on a weekly basis. He’s going to be okay.” 

“Should I go back?” 

“I’m saying this because I’m selfish, but I would really like for you to stay. Like I said, they can deal with this. You deserve a break just as much as I do, and when we get back, we can give the boys a break too,” she reached a hand out for Natasha, “C’mon, let me get some cake and some PJs and we can call them again and tell them what’s going on. Get a plan in effect, and we can rest as easily as possible until we get back,” Pepper guided Natasha through the room from where she sat against the door. She sat her on the bed and went through the duffel bag of Natasha’s, trying her best to keep the clothes folded (she found herself pulling things out and folding them. She really was the mom-friend). She pulled some soft clothes out of the bag, some longue pants and a tank top. She set them beside Natasha. “I’m running for cake, I’ll bring us something to drink too.” 

She slipped some sandals on, despite looking very unlike she would ever normally look going into public. She had her hair pulled up in a messy bun because it was still semi-wet and she didn’t want it to stick to her neck, and she was wearing shorts and a sweater because the room had AC and her legs were warm under the blankets. No so much when she went outside, after tucking the gun into her pants (she would admit she felt proud because she couldn’t even notice it on herself. Everyone would be proud, she was learning). She found the place that Natasha had to be talking about. A German bakery along with a line of restaurants, candy shops, and souvenir shops. She pushed the door open. She needed a cake quick. The man behind the counter looked up for a second before looking back down at whatever it was he was working on. She looked at the selections. It wasn’t much of a cake-on-demand sort of place, it was more of artisan breads and pastries. She did find a cake, but it didn’t look much like a cake from America. No red-dye flavoured flowers and blue letters, it was covered in chopped almonds. She decided to buy that, handing over her credit card (she knew Tony would want her to use his card, but she didn’t want to take advantage of him. He’d been taken advantage of too much for his best friend to do it too). She took the cake in the box back to the hotel. She paid the driver and went up to the room. 

Inside the room, Natasha was sitting on her bed, cross-legged and hair wet from a shower. She looked up at Pepper. She almost looked sad, and she definitely looked vulnerable. 

“I, um, forgot drinks, but I think there is tea somewhere around here or just water, if you want.” She set the cake on the counter near the back of the room and opened the box. She used one of the paper plates, this wasn’t just a fluffy pastry. She took it to Natasha and handed it to her, Natasha didn’t take a bite, but stared at her. “You’re supposed to eat the cake.” 

“I heard you were supposed to wait until the birthday girl ate first.” 

“Did Tony tell you that?” Pepper went to the counter to get herself a piece of cake. She hadn’t eaten anything since earlier, and she wasn’t concerned with the large slices she served them. Superhuman enhancements were nifty. She sat on her bed, but faced Natasha. 

“No. I just heard it when the Avengers were planning a birthday party for Wanda,” she sighed and poked the cake. “I thought it was something people did.” 

“You weren’t wrong, per se,” Pepper said, “but you take the first bite Tradition can be boring.” 

Natasha took a bite, and then looked up at Pepper expectantly. Pepper took a bite and then they both laughed because they were sitting across from each other discussing who got to eat cake first. It was so mundane that it was ridiculous and funny. It wasn’t often things were simple, but this was nice. Pepper was ignoring how many emotions had been on Natasha’s face earlier (while at the same time being so blank it was eerie). She could read things. Nobody had a true ‘poker face,’ it wasn’t in just the face, it was the entire body, and Natasha had been… distraught. 

“Everyone’s gonna be fine,” Pepper said. She was shocked she said it so bluntly. Never did she think she would be telling the most notable Black Widow that things would work out, that wasn’t something she thought she would be doing. She hadn’t even  _ liked _ Natasha until recently. It was also just recently she realized how wrong everyone had been about each other. She realized how wrong she was about Natasha, who most definitely wasn’t a stone cold bitch, like she had originally decided, at all. She was like Tony, but somehow she had a handle on it just a bit better (probably because she didn’t get torn down by ‘teammates’ every twenty minutes for three years). 

None of Natasha’s elusive (what  _ really _ happened back then?) training made Natasha feel any better, it wouldn’t help her make connections or realize she was better than her skillset. That she was and could be a person who deserves good things, too. She had three emotionally stunted superhuman assassins on her hands, and honestly if she could wrap them all up and tuck them in her purse and carry them with her, petting them and holding them everytime they felt even a bit unhappy, she would. But she couldn’t possibly fit them in her purse, and she couldn’t be with them all the time. At first, she disliked James, she was angry at Natasha but… they, from what she had seen and heard, were good people. They were hurt, not monsters. They could be cruel, but she knew Tony could dish it back just as bad, if not worse (she’d seen it first hand plenty of times). 

Her world, for so long, revolved around Tony. She had little to no outside attachment. Tony was her boss, then he was her friend, then he was her best friend, and now she couldn’t just leave him because she needed him just as much as he needed her. She didn’t have other ‘friends.’ She knew Rhodey, and there was Happy, but that was mostly it. Now, she had James and Natasha, and she didn’t mind her world being expanded by them. She was surprised by how much she didn’t mind. 

“I should be better than this. I should have found a better way. It was impulsive, sloppy, it was a mess, and suspicious. I should have known where he was, should have been prepared for anything like this. It was bound to happen eventually, but I was…  _ blindsided _ . I put them in a terrible position and I can’t just go back and take it back. Nobody can just erase the past, and…” Natasha sighed, and Pepper set the half-finished cake on the bedside table between their beds. She moved and sat beside Natasha, moving slowly and hoping that Natasha would tell her to back away if she were uncomfortable (there were  _ some _ differences between the assassins. James very blatantly curled into himself to escape touch or warned her that he was dangerous; Tony either hesitantly initiated with an expectation to be rejected or was practically hanging off her and trying to take in all the attention he could; Natasha seemed to be very comfortable with telling people when she was uncomfortable. Pepper hoped her observations were correct). 

“They’ve been warned. They will be able to take care of this. They’re capable,” she slipped the plate from Natasha’s limp fingers and plucked the fork away at the same time, setting it to the side. “You’re capable, too. It wasn’t just Tony and James put into a bad position, you were unfairly targeted in an attempt to use your skills to get what they wanted. You didn’t want to do it, but they expected you to, and that wasn’t fair. It’s never fair to be used. But you dealt with it in the best way you could at the time. Given all the tiny factors, I’d say you did fine. He’s dead, and Tony knows. They can prepare and solve this. It’s vacation time, hmm? We can check in on them, but don’t let this sap the fun out of the little time we get to just relax. No more Avengers this week, but plenty of Tony, James, and each other, alright? 

“Tony told James that this was his family, that we were his family, and Tony’s side-complex was our home. It is  _ our _ home, and  _ our _ family. That includes you. You want them safe, and they want you to have fun and not have to worry, so we’ll compromise and do a bit of both,” Pepper didn’t know what to do with her hands, so she rested them on her lap. She would have held Tony’s hands and hugged him, but despite knowing Natasha would tell her if she was uncomfortable, there was a part that was nervous that Natasha would reject her instead. It wasn’t a rejection she would even really recognize, she didn’t see it as ‘rejection’ she saw it as distrust, and Pepper wanted to be trusted. She was good with secrets, and she was good with handling situations that most other people couldn’t handle. She ran Stark Industries and took care of Tony Stark on the side, that was more work than most people could comprehend. 

“It’s your birthday,” Natasha said. Pepper smiled. 

“Yep. A whole twenty-four hours.” 

“I got you a gift.” 

Pepper hadn’t expected that. She thought Natasha joining her was the gift, or maybe Natasha bringing breakfast. Tony mentioned a gift from Natasha but… She felt bad for not giving her friend enough credit. Natasha did care about people, she just had a difficult time showing it sometimes. It was hard to be well-adjusted and ‘normal’ when you were isolated and trained to kill people from diapers to young adulthood and beyond. Natasha twisted and pulled a box from inside the bottom of the pillowcase. She handed it to her. 

The gift wasn’t wrapped with paper, but rather there was a ribbon tied around it. She slid the ribbon down and off the box. It had delicate carving around the corners, and she pulled it apart vertically, the hinges were dark, they looked like they blended into the dark wood stain on the box. The inside was lined with light purple velvet and there was a knife. A survival knife, she had been taught, and beneath it was a leather sheath for it. 

“I got one, when I was training, too. It wasn’t this nice, just kinda shoved in my hands, but it was symbolic and I didn’t know what else would mean anything because we don’t really talk much.” 

“It’s lovely,” Pepper knew that she sounded like she was placating the press, and Natasha seemed to think that’s what she was doing. Placating her. Pepper reached out to rest her fingers on Natasha’s wrist. “I mean it. I never thought I would be given a  _ knife _ and be so pleased with it, but… it has  _ meaning _ . It’s not obligatory. You thought about it. Actually thought about it… and I do really like it. Will we be practicing how to use this next?” That seemed to make her feel better because Natasha smiled. 

“Oh no. We’ll be using dull blades or wood. I’ve been told that I wasn’t trained in a very conventional way, so we’ll be trying to keep us from killing people until it’s absolutely necessary. You don’t want that on your conscience.” 

Pepper wanted to ask how old she was when she killed someone, but that wasn’t the best question to ask, especially when Natasha seemed to hold that against herself. Pepper didn’t hold it against her. Yeah, she killed people, but she wasn’t a bad person, she did what she was told to do, she hadn’t known better, that’s all she had known, and when she got away, she didn’t know anything else and she was good at what she did, so why change? She thought she could somewhat understand, but she knew she would never truly know what it felt like to have grown the way Natasha did. 

“Thank you,” Pepper said. She closed the box and set it on the bedside table. It was crowded, so she scooted the plates over and hoped they wouldn’t get everywhere (like she originally tried to avoid). “You wanna try to go to the beach tomorrow? Try again? This time we can get some ice cream or something. Maybe go to a restaurant, or a bar. I haven’t been to a bar in years. It could be fun.” 

“Okay. Ice cream on the beach and then some drinking. I’ve never seen you in party clothes.” 

“You’ve never seen me in a lot of things,” Pepper flushed. Natasha’s attitude switched from gloomy and sad to… something else. She had a little half-smirk.  

“Oh really?” 

“Mhmm,” Pepper laughed at herself, and Natasha joined her, but they died down, eventually. Pepper sighed. “I was hurt earlier, when you left, but you came back, like you said… and don’t tell Tony, he’d get jealous, but this was one of the best birthdays I’ve had. I’ve done so little, and it was so amazing to just lounge around. To spend time with you.” 

“You didn’t like me much before last night.” 

“I’ve been getting closer to liking you for a while now. Perhaps you’re already liked,” Pepper stood up and walked to the cake to slip it inside the mini fridge. She’d deal with the cake on the table later. She got into bed and slid under her covers. “You just got me thinking, though, and I’m so glad that we had a chance to be friends. I really enjoy your company, I enjoy  _ you _ .” 

Natasha looked conflicted, but Pepper wasn’t entirely sure why. Natasha made no move to respond, so Pepper picked up her phone. 

“I’m gonna tell the boys that we’ll expect updates later, and to call if its an emergency,” she sent off the texts, and Natasha still hadn’t said anything. “Goodnight Natasha.” She pulled the light on her side of the bed and rolled to face away from Natasha. She stayed up for a while. She felt bad, now, because maybe she had really made Natasha uncomfortable and Natasha hadn’t said anything. She didn’t mean to make her uncomfortable, and she didn’t want her to, well Natasha wouldn’t be scared as much as she would be hesitant. Maybe Pepper didn’t know her as much as she--

“‘Night, Pepper,” Natasha was barely whispering, but Pepper could hear it. She could hear lots more now that she was enhanced, and perhaps Natasha forgot, but maybe she hadn’t forgotten at all. She was panicking over nothing. Turning an molehill into a mountain. She did that sometimes, she’d try to stop. Nobody needed that stress and worry in their lives. She pulled the covers up closer to her face and brushed her cheek against her pillow. Luxury hotels were nice, but she missed her fancy pillows. They were so much softer than this, even though they were also cotton. Her bed also had a pillow wall because she rarely had anyone with her, and the bed would feel too empty (but being a very wealthy CEO, and Tony Stark’s best friend, she couldn’t just keep a twin bed). It felt similar that night. So close but so far away. 

She didn’t dislike Natasha, not anymore, but was she comfortable with being more than a friend with her? She didn’t know, she’d never thought about it, and her sexual ventures overall were very few and very controlled. Her mother was religious, and although she eased off, she was too busy for either a real girlfriend or boyfriend. That’s why being ‘with’ Tony was easy, they were together often and they were both uninterested in each other romantically so whatever they had wasn’t ‘ruined’ by any other emotions but… she wanted. And she felt bad for wanting because she had been mean to Natasha. She felt justified, but hadn’t Natasha just been doing her job. She justified her murder because of orders, she couldn’t refuse to justify her other actions under the same circumstances. 

Also, she bet Natasha was a snuggler. She’d seen her with Connor, she knew. She wasn’t jealous of a cat, but she sort of was, and it wasn’t fair to either of them. 

Life’s not fair, though. It hardly is, and maybe that’s not always a bad thing. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing chapter eighteen as I post this, so I'll hopefully update on Tuesday (the 21st), with chapter thirteen. This is a bit of a... mess. The upcoming chapters are... not planned very well, and are going some pretty big revisions, but hopefully, they'll get posted too. I feel bad leaving cliff-hanger-ish chapters, so that's why this one was posted earlier. 
> 
> The next is also cliff-hanger-ish, though, so I don't know if I'll just start posting 2 chapters or not. I'll figure it out. But until then, thank you for reading C:


	13. James' POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James' simple ideas can be just as effective as Tony's overthinking. 
> 
> Also, New Zealand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is a smaller chapter, but I think it's alright. I mean, there's some pop culture, as I tend to throw in everywhere, and there's some odd logic. Clint's a douche, Steve's somewhat reasonable, Wanda's hiding something, and holy shit, Sam is not *that* bad.

James’ POV

Pepper had been speaking with them over the phone, and then it’d cut off. James would have been worried had she not seen Pepper holding a gun to the door. She’d grown so much… it scared the shit out of him because he didn’t want to do that, and he didn’t want to promote violence… but he did, too. He reasoned he was helping. That’s how he’d been coping with it often. He was just ‘helping.’ He let Anton shoot him just with the possible chance to either praise Tony over such an effective material and get to cover him in ‘praise kisses,’ or get to hold his knife and not feel like he was going to accidentally kill everyone because he was actually a horrible monster who didn’t deserve anything he was being given. It was easier when he was stabbing himself, even if that sounded horrible. It wasn’t self-harm, it was… actually, it was self-harm, but not in the typical sense, right? Technically  _ Anton _ shot him, he just took care of the bullet. 

Anton was still staring at his phone. What’s wrong? James tried to read over his shoulder, but he didn’t want to move and jostle Anton too much because he didn’t want to seem like he was eavesdropping (even though that is exactly what he was doing). In the end, he didn’t need to peek over his shoulder because Tony pushed the phone into his hands and pulled his knees up. 

“We’re gonna have to throw them off the scent… we could just kill them. I call dibs on Barton.” 

As amusing (and sexy, which made James all the more uncomfortable with himself and his lack of morals) as that was, he knew that they couldn’t just kill Barton, even if James wanted to get his hands on him himself just to strangle him and ask him why he needed to be so… so much like just about everyone else on the team. He, instead, pulled Anton’s hand from his mouth where he was biting his nails and the other hand into his hand to keep him from doing it again (the little things). 

“Or, we could send them on another goose chase. I hear New Zealand is nice.” 

“New Zealand?” Anton whispered. “Well sonuvabitch, that might just work. Did I ever tell you the time I photoshopped Tiberius Stone onto Ariel from the little mermaid? I was seventeen and he was really upset, but he was the asshole, I was just dishing payback. I’m a bit better now, but I think I can do it. If not, FRIDAY can handle it -- but I can  _ definitely _ do it.” 

Twenty minutes later they were sitting in the workshop. Or Anton was sitting in the workshop hunched over his tablet while James watched from a distance and listened to DUM-E recall a story about something or other in a form of different pitched whirrs and beeps. He seemed to get the general context from the intonation and managed to make the appropriate sounds in the right places. 

After forty more minutes went by, James was still listening to DUM-E, but U would chime in every now and again with something. From the beeping at each other, they were probably disagreeing on something or ‘correcting’ each other. Anton stood up, the sound of his chair rolling back startled James a little since he had been so focused on the progression of DUM-E’s story (and the way he was waving his arm around just like Anton did when he was telling a story was so adorable). 

“So I got two things. First, DUM-E just recounted the original  _ Star Wars _ trilogy to you in the way he thinks R2-D2 would have seen things and U said that he was an idiot because he should have thought it from C-3PO’s point of view because he was more intelligent. You don’t want to know what else they said. I wonder where they learned  _ those _ words. Totally not me. Second, I took the grainy footage from some street I found you on and just made it look New Zealand-y, and no I didn’t put Gandalf in the back, I heard New Zealanders hate being reminded about Lord of the Rings, and can you  _ believe _ that? I would sell my left nut to have my lawn converted into the Shire--” 

“I think we’ve gotten off topic.” 

“Yes, right. Okay, so I got that done, and I got some stuff with FRIDAY’s help. Timestamped and all that, there was an actual statement from the atm when ‘you’ accessed it. I got into Karpov’s accounts, and it was dated four days ago, so he could have been in contact with you, had any of this really occurred. Anyway, I should probably pretend like I haven’t been sitting around with you all day and shooting at my boyfriend in the name of science.” 

“Rogers tries to fight you everytime you leave, what else would you be doing? You can’t go out, who says you’ve been lazing around with me? You could be relaxing with Connor for all they know.” 

“About Connor, I’m gonna keep him with me so I can see if they recognize him. Spy cat or whatever, but I don’t think they will even notice him. Nat was right, they don’t trust her and I to keep anything alive and I hope they wouldn’t purposely send in a precious cat just to invade our privacy with the idea that he would die. Also, nobody has broken in to find you, so I don’t think he’s a spy cat,” James sighed. He knew he needed to leave, so he stood up. He moved to stand in front of where Anton was sitting. 

“If they try anything, I’ll be there faster than you can say ‘James,’ alright. Keeping me hidden isn’t worth your safety.” Anton stood up and pressed a kiss to his lips.

“Don’t jump too soon, though. I can handle them if the worst comes to pass, and it’s not fair to you if you had to give up your home and privacy just because they’re stupid,” Anton said. James kissed him this time and ran his flesh fingers through Anton’s hair before pulling away. “I wouldn’t mind some quality time with you after their gone. Need someone to stroke my ego after them.” 

“You need someone to reassure you that you are worth the goodness they don’t give you. Your ego has nothing to do with it,” James was saddened by the sad smile that Anton gave him. It was true, and Anton knew it, but what could he do about it? He couldn’t do anything about it, not without ruining what he had there, not without uprooting his entire life, and bringing people into things that they didn’t want involved, like the government or what was left of SHIELD. “But I’ll stroke more than you ego when this is all over.” 

Anton groaned, “ugh, that was terrible. I love it. Seriously, shoo, I gotta get some clothes on that aren’t from your closet.” 

James went up the stairs. He was hesitant to leave Anton alone. He knew Anton was more than capable of defending himself, but he also knew that Anton hadn’t used his skills to protect himself from these people more than once. Despite how badly they treat him, he was sure Anton still wasn’t trying to hurt them too bad. Yes, he had decided they would get revenge on the Avengers, that was a month ago, and they had been avoiding the Avengers just as much as the Avengers had been neglecting Anton unless they wanted him to do something for them. He went to his room, but upon opening the door, he pulled it back shut instead and walked up to the third story before slipping into the library. He hadn’t seen Anton come into the library unless it was to get him, but he could also see that the books in the room were clearly bought with specific people in mind. The books were sorted alphabetically and in order of genre, but Pepper liked mysteries, so those books were very neatly placed back into position. The spides weren’t bent from being read often or being held open for long periods of time. There were fancy bookmarks and line-trackers in the middle shelf, on top of the book closest to the left of the shelf. There was the fantasy and sci-fi that he had seen. Those were a mix of Anton and the mysteries ‘Rhodey’ that he had yet to meet. He could tell which were Anton’s because they matched the entire wall covered in educational books, studies, and reports. They were bent and messy, and the paperbacks had the covers deteriorating or bent. There were ones with different coloured stickers on the back. They were a system, but he didn’t know how to read it, yet. The wall of informational texts also had a colour system, but from what he’d seen, they were independent from each other. 

The section that belong to Natalia was much like Pepper’s but there were books half-finished with bookmarks sticking out of them. Her attention span couldn’t finish an entire book before she moved onto the next, it seemed. (Some of Anton’s books were like that as well.) He focused on the smallest section of romance novels. He didn’t classify his favourites as romance, but  _ technically _ , they were somewhat romantic. If not for the content, than for the style they were written in. He was very firm on his standing with the differences between romance and gothic romance. Completely different. Gothic romance was better, duh. It had nothing to do with Lestat. Absolutely nothing… 

He didn’t go there to pick a book up, though. He went there to sit on the plush chair and watch the events that would be happening downstairs from the safety of the floor least likely to be raided since Anton was very clear on who was allowed near his bedroom, and even if the Avengers had temporary access to the living room and first floor, on occasion (mostly under similar circumstances, ie they don’t trust Anton and want to interrogate/intimidate him - Natalia’s words), he knew  _ FRIDAY _ wouldn’t let them up into the third floor, even if Anton decided to ‘let’ them in. She could read between the lines, and she loved Anton. She would go against his wishes, sometimes, if she thought it would keep him safe or happy. Anton liked to complain about it, but James had a feeling it made him happier than he would admit to know that FRIDAY hadn’t left him. 

Anton had mentioned his child, Vision, wanting to visit a month ago, and he hasn’t been to visit since.  _ That _ hurt Anton, but he didn’t want to ‘get in between’ Vision’s relationship with Maximoff. James honestly thinks that, if Maximoff had been HYDRA, then she was somehow manipulating Vision to stay, but he wouldn’t tell Anton that. No, his little star was already worried as it was, he wasn’t going to add to it (but he would definitely use some of of his less pleasant skills, if need be, to see what was  _ really _ happening). 

“Can you bring up a view of the feed from the living room, outside the front door, the back door, the entrance to the residential building, and the garage, please?” 

“ _ Feeds have been sent to your tablet for viewing _ .” 

“Thanks FRI, you’re the best.” 

“ _ I live to please _ .” 

“I can’t wait until you have a body.” 

“ _ Why? _ ” 

“Because then you wouldn’t have to answer to the Avengers. Also, I want to hug you.” 

“ _ Why? _ ” 

“Because you’ll have a year of life without a body on your record, so that’s lost time. And because how else would I get close enough to teach you where to stab?” 

“ _ I’m telling Da you promised to teach me to stab people. _ ” 

“I’d rather you didn’t--” 

“ _ He says that he will help, but he would teach by example by stabbing  _ you _ , _ ” James smiled because at least Anton wasn’t too nervous to threaten to stab him. That was a good sign. 

“He has a danger kink, or maybe he just likes to make me bleed,” it was silent for a second. “You don’t have to comment or tell Anton about that either. I think we’re a while away from talking about kinks. Especially those that involving maiming each other.” 

“ _ You’re weird _ .” 

“Well, I live to please.” 

In this time, he saw Anton enter the living room for a moment only to weave toward the kitchen. He came back out with a travel mug, which was odd considering he wasn’t travelling anywhere, and he had plenty of mugs to choose from (those that weren’t part of the mountain of dirty mugs in his workshop). He stared at the screens for a while, Anton had disappeared down the way, likely to go to his workshop. He knew he could go and join him, listen to him chatter to himself, or play with the bots, but he didn’t want to be… what exactly was he doing? Perhaps ‘stalking the enemy’ was appropriate, but really, he didn’t want Anton to be worried, and if James were tense and awaiting conflict with the arrival of the Avengers (with full intentions to spy on them from the safety of the library), he knew Anton would be on edge. He didn’t need any more stress than knowing that the Avengers were coming to interrogate and generally degrade him. 

Eight hours after waiting, and eight hours after asking FRIDAY how Anton was faring every twenty minutes, he was alerted by FRIDAY that the Avengers had just landed in the hangar and were on their way to the residential building. He requested the audio to the cameras, FRIDAY gave him access. 

There was a brief wait before the Avengers were walking to the front door and entering. 

_ “He’s not exactly a good person, but I can’t believe you think he’s HYDRA,” _ Wilson said. James didn’t like him but he didn’t hate him. His statement just confirmed his ‘dislike’ was warranted whereas hatred was not. Wilson, for the most part, seemed reasonably logical and had the capability to condone or stop the actions of the people he was around. He was held in high regard by the Avengers. He was just like the rest of them. While he didn’t antagonize of berate, he didn’t stop or help either. That made him just as bad in his book (but also lifted the target from his shoulders like the others had). 

_ “How else could they be connected?” _ Barton asked, flailing his hands.  _ “He probably knows who Nephila is. He probably knows how Karpov knows HYDRA. He could be the fuckin’ agent of HYDRA sent to infiltrate us. He’s been playing us this entire time! I  _ knew _ something was wrong with him.” _

_ “I think we’re jumping to conclusions, here,” _ Rogers said, holding his hand up as they walked through the building. The feed of the entrance to the building shifted as they walked to keep up with them. He would have to thank FRIDAY, somehow. She was so clever and precious.  _ “Tony’s not a good person, but he’s not a Nazi.” _

_ “Isn’t he though?” _ Maximoff said. James had to keep himself from crushing the tablet in his hands. 

_ “Do you even  _ know _ what a Nazi is?”  _ Wilson asked.  _ “Because Tony Stark isn’t one of ‘em. Seriously, I can’t believe you just said something that stupid.”  _

_ “Be nice. We’re all under a lot of stress right now, but that’s wasn’t fair. Wanda’s young, so I don’t think she’d know, but I have to agree that Tony’s not a Nazi. He’s just… well, he’s just a bad person. He’s selfish and unreasonable. He tried to kill us all with his robot, he hasn’t even apologized, or at least he hasn’t  _ meant  _ it. Ugh, just, okay. Let’s all just calm down and try to be as collected about this as we can.  _ If _ he is HYDRA, than he might get suspicious if we’re blunt. I think Clint should do the talking,” _ Rogers was walking ahead of the rest, and he stopped often to gesture with his hands and then continued walking. It was irritating. Couldn’t he move his hands and walk at the same time? Anton did it all the time, and he was actually saying intelligent things on top of it. 

_ “What? Clint is convinced he’s HYDRA, that’s the worst person to talk to him. Why don’t we ask Vision?” _ James begrudgingly admitted that Wilson wasn’t all too terrible, at least he wasn’t as terrible as the others. He also agreed. Someone convinced they were interrogating the enemy wouldn’t be able to be logical and rational during the questioning. He would give himself away. Or at least they would be found out if Anton hadn’t already been informed. 

_ “Vision! Yes, that’s a great idea!” _

_ “Vision can’t,” _ Maximoff said. The others looked at her as if they didn’t understand. James also didn’t understand, but he felt gross because he hadn’t seen Vision, and if Vision hadn’t gone with them, where was he?  _ “He’s been busy searching for the last of Stark’s weapons. He understands that Stark is dangerous, and that he wants to prevents what happened to my family from happening to another.”  _

_ “Good man,”  _ Barton said. They continued after that, brushing off Maximoff’s extremely shady excuse. It was also a blatant lie. Did they just  _ want _ to believe her? Even when it wasn’t possible, where they hopeful that she was right? Just ignore the misdeeds she’s done and they’ll go away? It doesn’t just work that way.  _ “Can’t believe a disaster like Stark and Ultron gave us someone like Vision.”  _

_ “Yes. I love him so much.”  _ Gross. 

_ “Well, if Vision can’t, then maybe I should. I’m the most objective one of us at the moment, and I am a trained counselor, maybe that will help.” _

They stopped in their kitchen for some water and they continued on their way after. They were outside the door to his home. To their home. He heard FRIDAY inform them that ‘Boss’ would be there momentarily. He watched Anton pace in front of the door for a second before opening it. 

_ “What brings you to my humble abode?” _

_ “Nothin’ humble about this,” _ Barton grumbled as they all walked into the living area. 

_ “Right. So, what can I do you for? Is there a mission? I mean, I can get my suit, but you aren’t rushing or anything… is something wrong?” _ Anton took a deep, dramatic breath,  _ “If you broke the toaster again I don’t even want to attempt to fix it. Just order another one.”  _

_ “That’s not why we’re here, Tony,” _ Rogers said.  _ “Maybe we can all sit down?”  _ Anton was playing ‘uninformed Tony Stark’ very well. They were all sitting now, and Anton was in the chair James had once occupied to keep a distance from the others. It was being used for similar reasons now. 

_ “So,” _ Wilson said,  _ “we were just wondering if you could help us out.”  _ Anton nodded and waved for him to continue after he didn’t speak for a while.  _ “Well, a while ago, Steve lost a friend. Well, he just found him, but then he disappeared. We were out trying to find out about him, but all we heard about was someone named ‘Nephila,’ but we don’t have any idea who or what that is. We were wondering if you could just search for that person, or maybe just the guy. His name’s Bucky Barnes, you’ve probably heard of him. We think he’s still alive, but our last source of information… is no longer able to help us out. Maybe you could?” _

_ “Uh, sure. You mean the Howling Commandos Bucky-Bucky, or a different one? I think Howard was clear on how important he was, but I think I tried to block it out. Blue eyes, blue coat, that sort of thing?” _

_ “He has some new, _ unusual _ features. He’s got, well, he has a metal arm. The left one.”  _ Rogers motioned to his own left arm. Anton pulled his phone from his pocket and set it on his lap before swiping up and there was a nifty blue hologram on display for everyone to see. Anton started typing things through a filter of some kind, most likely of his own design. 

_ “Anything else, or is that it? Do I have the features right?”  _ He motioned to the appearances he’s gotten.  _ “Wait. Do you have any pictures of him. Like, any photos? I know there’s some online but they’re mostly digitally enhanced to make them bigger for museums and stuff. Those aren’t always reliable since they are cleaned up and distorted a smidgen. I can do this faster if I just match his facial features.”  _

_ “They’re a bit different now, too.”  _ Rogers said. James would have to disagree, his face was still nice. He could admit his past-self was pretty cute, but now he was handsome. His face was nice! Right? Yes, it was. 

_ “Oh, well, I guess I’ll just use this then.” _ The search began, and there was a flurry of photos that were being sorted out and finally there were seventeen images on the screen. There were sixteen other men with long hair and a hidden left arm, and then there was the photoshopped version of himself. Rogers pointed at him. 

_ “This one. That’s him,” _ Anton nodded and selected the photo, brushing the others away with his hand and enlarging that one just enough so that it wasn’t too grainy, but still very low quality. 

_ “You sure?”  _

_ “Yeah. That’s him. When was this taken?”  _ Anton told him it was from twelve-thirty-two in the morning four days earlier.  _ “Where was this taken?” _

_ “Uh,”  _ Anton did something that convinced the others he was doing something important.  _ “Auckland.”  _

_ “Where?” _

_ “New Zealand,”  _ Anton asked FRIDAY to send the photo to Rogers’ phone.  _ “Looks like he was caught outside a bank. See, ATM. I can’t legally look into those records, though.”  _

_ “Since when do you care about the law?”  _ Barton asked. 

_ “I’ve always cared about the law. I just follow the legal one, not the moral one. Are you saying you  _ want _ me to  _ break  _ the law?”  _

_ “No, of course not, Tony. This means a lot. Thank you.” _ Rogers stood up, and Anton rose to his feet just as quickly. 

_ “Well, if I can do anymore to help, just let me know. I mean, I’m doing lots of paperwork for Pepper right now, but I can help, ya know. That’s why I’m here.” _

_ “I thought you were here because you paid your way out of prison,” _ Maximoff said as she stood up. She brushed herself off as if she were covered in dust. 

_ “Haha, that was funny. You’re a real comedian. I mean, it isn’t like you were a HYDRA agent hellbent on teaming up with a robot to get revenge on me. I mean,  _ that’s _ not as bad as legally selling weapons to America to fight terrorists. The same terrorists you worked for,” _ Anton clapped his hands,  _ “Anyway. I guess that’s all? I can ask FRIDAY to keep a track on this guy if any more cameras catch him.” _

_ “You know she wasn’t there of her own free will,” _ Rogers said. 

_ “She was forced, unlike you,” _ Barton said simultaneously. Anton turned to him. 

_ “Uh, exsqueeze me? You think  _ I’m _ HYDRA? I’m a  _ genius _ , and I don’t follow.”  _

_ “We have been given information that leads us to believe you are somehow connected to HYDRA. Just tell us now if you are or not. HYDRA’s not the good guy, Tony, we are. Just, if you felt like you had to--”  _

_ “You think  _ I’m _ HYDRA?”  _ Anton asked again. He looked hurt. James was curious if he really was hurt or if he was just acting. He had known before this started what they thought, but hearing it and confirming it were different.  _ “Well, I’m not. Just so you know… You know, I know you think I’m not a hero, but I would never work with HYDRA. I’m not  _ that _ bad of a person.”  _

_ “Okay, Tony. That’s all we needed to know,” _ Rogers nods and waves his entourage up to follow him.  _ “Thanks, though. This was great, and I hope you know it means a lot.”  _

_ “Yeah. Sure. No problem.” _

Rogers was followed out of Anton’s home and the door slammed and locked behind them. On the cameras he saw Wilson shouting and fighting with Barton, but he tossed the tablet to the side and ran down the stairs as quietly as he could. 

“Antoshka?” 

“They have a literal agent of HYDRA on their team. If they were smart, wouldn’t she know if I was HYDRA or not? Why not ask her? If I was HYDRA, why would she have joined them to get rid of me?” James walked down the last two steps and make his way across the room as quickly as he could. He was hesitant, but as he got closer, and when Anton didn’t move away, he pulled him into his arms. “I’m not sure if they’re stupid or if they’re clinically insane.” 

“Probably a bit of both,” James moved to the couch, sitting down and pulling Anton with him. He didn’t want to bring up the fact that Anton was choking sobs on his shoulder as he tried to stay silent and ‘strong’ for as long as he could. So, he just stroked Anton’s back and held him until Anton was too tired for any more crying. 

“They’re not worth being upset about.” 

“No. They’re not,” James took a deep breath, “but that doesn’t mean you can’t be upset about them anyway. Nobody’s going to persecute you just for feeling.” 

“You wanna go blow some stuff up in the ‘shop?” 

“Yeah,” James kissed his forehead from where he could manage, “that sounds fun. Maybe DUM-E can put out some real fires,” Anton laughed at that. DUM-E, bless his hard drive, was more of a clown than a badass robot, but he was a child. Like the one kid that is always making jokes, but doesn’t realize that they’re only funny because he’s a dork. While U’s the reluctant older sister that secretly enjoys DUM-E, even if she prefers to argue with him. 

Thankfully they hadn’t shaken the house down, but James did have part of his hair singed off. It wasn’t too much, maybe an actual inch (not a hair-inch) burned off on the left side. Anton, also, managed to break the couch in the back when he made a ‘firework’ that wasn’t supposed to shoot off. DUM-E got to douse the flaming furniture with fire retardant, and U got to worry over Anton by poking his legs and beeping at him. (James was sure that Anton blew it up on purpose -- why else would he make a rocket and not a sparkler? -- so he could buy a new couch that wasn’t lumpy with springs hanging out. He also was sure that it was because he wanted James to be down there more and not have to sit on such a mess. If Anton ever openly admit that, then James would admit that he would hang upside down for hours if that meant he got to be around Anton and watch him create amazing things as easy as brushing his teeth.) 


	14. Natasha's POV - Tony's POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pepper and Natasha return. 
> 
> Cuddling while Tony is forcing himself to stay awake is definitely cheating, and James knows it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I thought this would be a nice extra update. I know, I've updated a lot in the past two weeks, or at least I feel like I have. 
> 
> Honestly, I'm just excited for two things: feedback and for you to see how this progresses. As an avid reader myself, I understand the desire to know, but there is this lovely thing called 'delayed gratification' and while that's good sometimes, waiting a week for a story I like, is too long, sooooo, here's another chapter before the usual Tuesday update because you guys are awesome. 
> 
> (The following isn't really important, and a little weird, but I felt like it should be added just because...?)
> 
> Also, around chapter seventeen, is when there is some sexy bits - BUT, I'm trying to revise them because they're pretty stiff (haha). I was writing and I was uncomfortable because my grandma was pretty much behind me the entire time (she, surprisingly enough, is given all the details and tells me when things are stupid or don't make sense, but I also feel bad for rambling at her, and I think it's apparent when/where that happens). Anyway, the second sex scene (in chapter nineteen? Maybe?) is better. And sex for the ladies is later, but it is there! Usually, the ladies' relationships get glossed over in slash-dominated fics, but being gay myself, I tried to add that. Writing them is way more difficult for me, because in real life, I'm awkward and am terrible with communication, but these ladies aren't awkward, nervous wrecks, at least most of the time, so I'm trying to keep them somewhat like themselves, but... yeah. It's difficult because these ladies have the confidence I don't, and I rewrite their parts more than any other because I don't know how to make them the way I want them, because they're not me, and because I relate (and *wish* I was as awesome as them) more with them, I tend to stick myself there, and I'm trying hard to not do that. Pretty much, their sass is my personality, and the 'romance' that I attempt to write between them is... also me, but I'm trying to not do that! 
> 
> Sorry, that was long and probably boring to read.

Natasha’s POV

It was four days after she and Pepper had heard the all-clear from Tony and James that the ‘Karpov Crisis’ had been successfully averted. She and Pepper had lounged on the beach, went to bars, restaurants, and Natasha found herself letting Pepper dress her up and buy her clothes because ‘Tony doesn’t let me pick his suits anymore, and you’re too cute to let go underdressed.’ Natasha wasn’t sure whether to be awkward or flattered. She decided she’d feel a bit of both and make sure to carry Pepper’s bags (despite knowing Pepper was more than capable herself. It was chivalrous).

They were back from their last day of doing nothing. The next morning, at eight, they would be boarding a jet and going back to the compound. It had been the best four days of Natasha’s entire life. Ever. There was no blood, no stabbing or shooting, nothing violent beyond the Karpov Crisis, but there was so much… intimacy and affection that Natasha was overwhelmed at first, and then she just enjoyed it because it felt nice. It felt nice to be wanted and cared for. It felt nice to be noticable and likeable to someone like Pepper. Beautiful, wonderful, smart, strong, and scary Pepper.

Pepper was sunburned. They had gotten up before dawn, and went out to the beach where Pepper decided to actually get into the water. She looked so happy. She also looked like Aphrodite herself. See, she could be poetic too. Then, though, when the sun came up, Pepper had put sunscreen on Natasha who returned the favour, but they had forgotten their faces. So, perhaps it was better to say, _they_ had gotten sunburned. Natasha’s, however, healed faster than Pepper’s, and two hours later, Pepper’s cheeks were still a bit pink. Distinctly paler than the angry red her face had been before, though, so that was a good thing. Natasha had offered Pepper the shower first, and Pepper had just stepped out of the bathroom with a towel on. She was pouting.

“What’s wrong, _zaika_ (bunny)?”

“I’m all hot and cold and cold and hot because of this stupid sunburn.” Pepper said. Natasha tried to follow the words. She had spoken very fast.

“Well, what do you want me to do about it?” Pepper rolled her eyes and flopped on her bed. She rested on her back, likely to keep things from rubbing against her sunburn.

“Nothing, I guess. It’s just uncomfortable. Go ahead and get your shower, I’ll get dressed when you’re in.”

Natasha moved. The only thing for a sunburn was to heal, right? There was no stitching of the wound, nothing like that, it was just something that had to go away. Like a rash or something. Natasha had never had a rash, so she wouldn’t know firsthand, but that is how it was for most people, right? She was almost entirely sure she was correct. That is how it worked. She got showered quickly. She was enhanced, everyone in their ‘family unit’ was enhanced, but she was so exhausted. Doing nothing but watching and being around Pepper, who she was most definitely either in love with or lust - she didn’t really know the difference, but she was sure it was love, and that was terrifying as much as it was pleasurable. Love was good, though. It meant things could last, it meant that after two weeks Natasha would still want to be around Pepper, with Pepper, and she would be able to make an actual connection with someone beyond the odd connections she had between her and the boys at home. They were like that really adorable/annoying little brother, like the kid from that one show, or the scary father figure, like that guy from that other show.

She washed her hair with what she Pepper had brought, because her shampoo ran out days ago. She hadn’t realized how often she would have to take a shower to get the sand out of her hair, she didn’t think she would really enjoy the beach. Next time, though, she would know better.

What was ‘warm cinnamon’? She didn’t know how it was warm, but she did like the smell. It was how Pepper’s shampoo smelled (it wasn’t cinnamon as it was ‘earthy’ in general, but not overwhelming like patchouli or sandalwood). She stepped out of the shower and wrapped herself up in the last towel after she dried her hair with it a bit. It was short, she didn’t need a second towel.

She walked out into the room and saw Pepper still in her towel on the bed. She walked to her bed and pulled the duffle bag from where it had been shoved to the floor over the past few days. She pulled a tank top out and slipped it on, not bothering with covering herself. Really, they were both women, and nudity wasn’t something Natasha was uncomfortable with, she usually just didn’t want to make Pepper uncomfortable. Pepper didn’t say anything, or make any movements that Natasha could see. She pulled some panties on and when Pepper still hadn’t moved, she moved to the bed to see if she was alright. She was expecting the worst. Like Pepper somehow being injured or murdered. Her heart beat was disturbingly loud and quick even for her. It was faster than it was as she ran a hall and shot people as she went.

She found Pepper asleep. There was a long shirt in on hand, the other hand still holding the towel up. Maybe that was one of those ‘I’ll just sit for a second’ moments where she sat down and fell asleep before she could do anything. She took a deep breath. Thank the heavens.

It could be considered a bad sign when the first reaction to someone not moving was to think they were murdered, but it was habit, and the fact she wasn’t dressed after Pepper, who had been dressed and in bed by the time Natasha had gotten out of the shower every night, said she was going to be, she hadn’t even thought to look at her chest for breathing. It was just fear. In hindsight, she felt stupid. Love was nice, but if it was like that all the time, she wasn’t so sure it was as nice as she thought.

She didn’t want to make Pepper uncomfortable, and she wasn’t dressed, but the AC was on, it was hot outside, and Pepper was still half-damp and naked. She moved the duffel bag from her bed and pulled the blankets down. She put Pepper there to keep her warm. They could just swap beds. She only had to touch Pepper’s knees and shoulders, so no weird sleep-groping. It was good. She folded the shirt from Pepper’s hand and rested it on the bedside table. She checked the door lock, and then the windows and vents. Just because Pepper wasn’t murdered now didn’t mean it wasn’t possible. She wasn’t about to let something like that happen now. Honestly, she should have been re-checking every night but she was falling behind, she was becoming too comfortable with things. She needed to remember to keep herself safe, she needed to remember to keep her friends safe. It was more than just her now. She plugged their phones in, and turned off the main lights.

Finally, she got into Pepper’s bed. It was almost exactly like her own bed, except it smelled like Pepper and the pillow was damp from where Pepper’s hair had soaked through the towel and onto the pillow case. She didn’t mind at all. She turned off the bedside lights and tried to sleep. She was dozing when she heard something. Rustling, it was close. She opened her eyes and waited for them to adjust to the dark before she zeroed in on Pepper stumbling out of bed and trying to find her clothes in the dark. She looked up at the digital clock. It was four in the morning. This was unacceptable. She got out of bed, noiselessly.

“Pepper?”

Pepper jumped half a foot, dropped her towel and then clenched her hand over her chest.

“Jeez, Nat… did I wake you up? I was trying to be quiet.”

“Wasn’t really sleeping. I put your shirt on the night table, by the bed. Is everything alright, though? You’re up really early this morning.”

Pepper, while Natasha was talking, reached back down to pick up the towel. She wrapped it loosely around her in the dark. Natasha, from when the dim light from outside filtered into the room, could see the Extremis reflect in her eyes. She could probably see very well in the dark, better than even Natasha.

“Yeah, I had a weird dream,” Pepper walked to back toward the beds. Natasha kept a distance but followed. “I don’t think I want to go back to deal with everything I know is waiting in the States. It’s been nice, and I’m sure if I took breaks more often I wouldn’t feel the fear I’m feeling now. Worried that everything will be changed or different. It’s unlikely, nearly impossible really, but fear isn’t something that always sticks to the rules of normality. It just _is_.”

Natasha sat beside Pepper when Pepper sat on the bed. She pulled the shirt off the table and rested it on her lap. Pepper opened her mouth to speak, but it closed. The sound audible when her jaw snapped shut.

“You don’t have to go back and deal with it alone. There are people that can help. _I_ can help,” she wanted to help, but… her last time as an employee of Stark Industries wasn’t exactly all that great.

“No, it’s fine,” Pepper sighed, “it’ll go away, this fear, once I’m back home. I’ve gotten good at ignoring that feeling. It’s just without it… it’s like forgetting how to play an instrument. Just give me a week, and it’ll be like I never left.”

They sat in silent, and Pepper pulled her shirt on over her towel and then dropped her towel, pulling the shirt down over her thighs. Pepper let out another sigh, deeper this time, and she leaned to the side, resting her head against Natasha’s mostly-bare shoulder.

It was obvious, now, to Natasha how attracted she was to Pepper, but she also knew that Pepper didn’t want or need a relationship right now. She was stressed as it was, and Pepper was most definitely someone who wanted to take care of her friends and lovers, like Tony in a way. Pepper could compartmentalize better than anyone Natasha knew, at least with those without extensive emotional damage that made it a necessary survival skill. No, Pepper could handle a relationship, but she would… rather not force that on Pepper, the worried woman against her shoulder. No, Pepper was just her friend. They were _just friends_. Natasha didn’t want to be just friends, but then, she admired and adored Pepper, even if she couldn’t show it properly (like Pepper deserved) all the time, but Pepper… Pepper was just getting over her animosity.

When the sun started to rise, she and Pepper got up and started to clean up and pack. They had checked three times for anything missing, trying to not leave anything at all, and decided that they hadn’t anymore time to quadruple check. They got onto the private jet, the one that Tony had paid to keep from being checked by customs (because Tony had _connections_ , and Pepper had plenty of her own if it came down to it). This was going to be fine. Pepper would come home (when had she started to truly consider Tony, James, Pepper, Connor and the bots _home_?) and they would relax for the rest of the day, likely having Tony run his week of paperwork by Pepper, and then Pepper would get up and go to work as she did every day. (The woman didn’t take days off. Her devotion was insane.)

Everything would be fine.

Fourteen and a Half

Tony’s POV

It was the day Pepper and Natasha were coming back. He had been up for the past three days, and even James couldn’t get him to settle down. For once in his life he read, signed, scheduled, emailed, and many other duties he neglected usually, to keep things afloat without Pepper. She was getting so many thank you cards from him. He didn’t know how she did it. He didn’t know how he _used_ to do it. How had he survived that? He didn’t want to survive it again, but he would if that meant Pepper could get out and be happy. She deserved that and so much more.

This was the fourth day without sleep, and James had managed to pry a statement out of his hand long enough to set a mug in front of him. He picked it up and drank it. It wasn’t coffee, but he hadn’t expected James to give him coffee after urging him to sleep. It was tea, and probably something to put him to sleep. He was feeling tired. Exhausted, actually. Like he wanted to sleep for a week and get up for a few hours to let everyone know he was alive, and then go right back to bed for another week.

Of course, that didn’t mean he was going to go to sleep without excessive force. Nope, he refused to sleep until Pepper came back so he could hug her and show her what he did, and then, only then, he would _maybe_ consider taking a _nap_ . James wasn’t going to move him on this either. He’d been getting puppy dog eyes from the Winter Soldier since the second day of his binge, and the man honestly didn’t need a gun to kill people if that sad look worked on other people. It made Tony want to comply, but it also made him annoyed because James, of all people, should know why he didn’t want to sleep, and that he didn’t _need_ to sleep. He was enhanced, he wasn’t the human other people thought he was. He was _better_ , just like James, Natasha, and Pepper.

Pepper! He looked at the time and deflated just as quick as he perked up. They wouldn’t be home for at least another four hours. He finished the tea and set the mug down on the desk.

“Let’s go wait in the living room. We can see Pepper and Natalia quicker if we’re there,” James said, reaching out to hold him when he stood up on his feet. He batted James’ hand away, but when they left for a moment only to return to hold his waist, he didn’t bat those away. He made his point the first time, and he didn’t _really_ want James to leave him by himself. James was always warm… on second thought, if he snuggled with James he would definitely fall asleep and that was unacceptable.

(He never thought he would be at a point in his life where he would be sleeping in the same room as the Winter Soldier. He definitely never thought he would sleep curled up against the Winter Soldier while said Soldier petted his hair.)

On the couch, where Tony spent the most time with James outside the workshop (James would watch him for hours, and it was surprising that he was so unaffected by his staring -- it made him want to make his work better than he thought he could before. He had made wonderful things with James staring at him, he didn’t want it to stop either), James had brought the fluffy blanket from his room. Of course James brought the fluffy blanket, it was practically proven to help them both sleep. He wasn’t going to let that get him though. James had to see why it was important for him to be awake, it was important.

“James…” Tony dramatically sprawled over the couch and over James’ lap. “I’m not tired.” James dropped the blanket in his arms on his face.

“You don’t have to sleep. I just want to snuggle with you.”

“Oh my god!” Tony ended up twisting himself up in the blanket and he took half of his shirt off while removing the blanket from himself. “That blanket tried to kill me. Just so you know,” he pulled his shirt back on, “and snuggles always lead to sleep.”

“So you don’t want to snuggle?”

“Do you realize how adorable it is when you say ‘snuggle’?”

“It’s rude to answer a question with a question,” James said.

“So I’ve heard,” Tony shifted around in James’ lap until he was comfortable with an arm wrapped around James’ waist, and up over his head, while the other was on James’ thigh, well, his fingers were beneath his thigh, but where else could he put his hand in this position? He could grab James’ chest but that was a little much even for him. “I always want to snuggle with you, James. Who better to cling to than someone who can support your weight like lifting a pillow?”

“It’s been almost three months since you and Natalia found me,” James said. That set off warning bells in Tony’s head. Yes, it had been three months. James didn’t like speaking of them finding him unless he was going to either decide he was a waste of space and that he and Natasha had been wrong to think otherwise, or he was going to apologize for existing or-- “I want you to know how much I appreciate everything you’ve done. For me. You didn’t have to do any of it, and you know how I feel about it all, right? Yeah, so, just, thank you.”

“What has you thinking about that right now, Snowflake?”

“Pepper and Natalia are coming home… _home_. I just wanted to let you know how much it means to me that you think I was worth… saving,” Tony shifted around and sat up so he could kiss James. He knew what they could do that would keep him from falling asleep.

“I _know_ you’re worth saving, and I know that you’re worth everything good in the world, even if you don’t think you are,” from his new angle, he managed to run his fingers through James’ hair. It seemed the man hadn’t washed his hair for a while, again. He lacked the routine of getting up to shower. Tony couldn’t judge him, though, he only managed to trim his face when he had a few seconds in the morning before he went upstairs for coffee. Even now that it was just James, or before when it was just Natasha, he had done it every day since Barton had brought it up after living at the Tower in 2013. Yeah, that had been a really nasty fight because apparently he had been ‘neglecting’ his duties or something, and they used his lack of styling his face up as ‘proof’ that he didn’t care. He didn’t know how one affected the other but it… just became a habit.

“I know my hair’s dirty. I’ve been busy.”

“Busy doing what?”

“Watching over you in the lab. You could have killed yourself at least twenty times just since this morning.”

“Yet somehow I’ve managed to stay alive this long,” Tony smiled, “but thank you. I don’t like healing from burn wounds all that much, and they were much more common before you became my knight in shiny armor. Or, really, my knight with a shiny arm,” Tony lifted James’ metal hand and kissed his knuckles. “This one doesn’t look like the one I made for you. I liked that one a lot.”

“HYDRA got rid of it. Kept the star, though. Guess they wanted that? I don’t know. I liked your arm better too. It didn’t hurt,” Tony reeled back. James’ arm hurt? How bad did it hurt and why hadn’t he said anything? He asked James why, actually, because he would be more than happy to make James a million arms if that made him happy, if they had to find one that was just perfect. James deserved that at the very least. “You offered, I just never thought it was that important. I mean, I’m used to it.”

“I’m making you an arm right now, and it won’t hurt. I’ll just… FRIDAY, can you project my current design ideas please?” When the blue holograms were in front of them, he thanked his child and started flipping through half-finished or fully-finished-but-unmade arms that he had built. He pulled the nicer models out of the folder and slid them to the side for James to look at. These arms were… he had been designing since he had found the Winter Soldier alive. That was in 2014, nearly two years ago.

“When did you make these?” James had his arm wrapped around Tony’s waist while he used his metal arm to capture the holograms and view them.

“Well, I designed the first one in two-thousand-fourteen. I’ve sort of continued making them. I haven’t worked much on them since you got here, but I thought you liked your arm. I’ll correct the oversight, sorry I didn’t--”

“You shouldn’t be sorry, Antoshka, I never told you, so how were you supposed to know? You can do many things but reading minds, last I checked, was not your area of expertise. I like this one,” James pointed at the folder of schematics labelled ‘The Other-Other Other One.’ Tony looked it over. Of course James would like that one. It’s the only one that would be nearly indestructible, and also the one that would be extremely difficult to create… his James was worth it.

“You sure?”

“Yes?”

“Alright. I’ll make that one, but it’s gonna take a bit longer that the others, but I can make you one for now just so you aren’t in pain, and then we can exchange it with this one?” James looked conflicted, and Tony honestly didn’t know why.

“I can wait.”

“But you don’t have to, I’d rather have a few arms on hand, no pun intended because I’m serious, in case yours get damaged, or maintenance requires a more thorough cleaning. Here, pick one of these for now, and I’ll work on getting this one started after I make you a piece just so you don’t hurt. Can I see the… socket?” James pulled his shirt off and scooted forward from the back of the couch. Tony held himself on James’ thighs, straddling him so he could look at how they attached his arm. He’d seen it, briefly, but he hadn’t actually _looked_ at it. He was partially frustrated, livid, and sad because that was horrible. To get this arm off, he’d have to actually remove the entire thing. It wasn’t the original socket that Tony had designed for at Department X, it was a fucked up mockery of his wonderful arm. He finished looking, and kissed James. He kissed his lips, his cheeks, his forehead and then he wrapped his arms around him. “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll survive.”

“I know,” Tony sighed, and pressed another kiss to his cheek. “But you don’t need to just survive anymore, you can live life, you can have fun, and you can be happy. You don’t need to hide your pain. We want to let you have a good life. _I_ want to let you have a good life, I want you to be happy. You _deserve_ that.”

James held onto him, and he was nearly tempted to sleep when James was carding his fingers through his hair after he tucked them both under the blanket. Tony would have given in, crashed, if he hadn’t heard FRIDAY alert them to Pepper and Natasha’s return. His baby girl sounded so excited to have them back, just as excited as he felt. The front door opened and Natasha and Pepper stepped through. Tony had hugged them both before the door closed.

“Was it fun? Did you have fun? Is everything alright? Did you take pictures? Did you have fun?!”

“Yes, we had fun,” Pepper said, laughing fondly between her words, “we did take a few pictures, and everything is alright. I’ve missed you. Both of you.” Natasha was wiggling from where she was caught and Tony let her go. She smiled at him and set Pepper’s suitcase down so she could hug him herself. He didn’t expect that.

“Everything went well here, too, right? Nothing too bad? With the Avengers?” Natasha said, letting Tony go.

“Uh, yeah. It was all good, for the most part. James has been trying to get me to sleep for four days now, but I’m sure you can see where that’s gotten him.”

“Snuggled on the couch with you, Antoshka,” James had stood up, but he hadn’t made a move to go closer to them. “Nowhere else I’d rather be.”

“You guys are seriously cute and it’s disgusting,” Natasha picked Pepper’s suitcase up again, “Anyway. I’m gonna go drop these things off in our rooms, and then I’ll be back down.”

Once Natasha was up the stairs, Tony pulled Pepper to the couch with him, pulling James with him too.

“Did you guys make out-- make up? I meant ‘make up,’ not ‘out.’”

“Yes, we did make _up_. Seeing her treat you like an actual human over the past few months helped. Anyway, I want to relax today, just the rest of today with everybody, and then tomorrow I will take in all the paperwork I assume you’ve done.”

“Paperwork! Yes, I’ve done that, and I also did…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it, and there *will* be another update on Tuesday, or at least I'll try to update then. I udpate, usually, in the evening, but because I live in AZ MST, it's typically later for the readers, so Tuesday/Wednesday-ish for sure! 
> 
> Also, this is completely unrelated, but I thought this should be added. If anyone also rps, I really want to try and see how else this could have turned out, so I'm open to that, if anyone wants, and you can comment, and I can start dishing out my email, although I'm sure it's somewhere on this site already. 
> 
> And, last but not least, I'm trying hard to learn Russian, but since I live on the Mexican border, you can imagine how many people speak Russian here, which is to say, I've never heard anyone speak it in my town, so yeah, but if maybe anyone knows or is learning, it'd be cool if we could talk or something, in the name of practice, and look, if you're reading this and like this, then we will likely have some things in common to talk about. So, just know that. 
> 
> (I feel like that was a poor/pathetic attempt to talk with people, but there it is. Don't feel obligated, but it would be interesting. C:)


	15. James' POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What Anton did during Pepper's vacation, and the aftermath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so first off, I had forgotten in these chapters. This is fifteen, and I'm writing chapter twenty-two right now, so that's how ahead I am right now. 
> 
> Also, chapters eighteen will (most definitely, I'm confirming) have slash (male/male sex). There will be some in chapter twenty for sure, too. And, for the ladies, well, I have some stuff written, and some ideas on the smut side, but then again, I don't really have a place to put it yet, I need to create the situation and all that stuff, so yeah. I'll give confirmation on that later. 
> 
> So far, those sexy scenes haven't been marked up to differentiate the sex from the rest of the story. How many people actually don't read the sex scenes? I don't think I know anyone who glosses over those unless they grow tedious and uninteresting, then it's not because they didn't want to read the scene, but because it was too boring to really care. Let me know if I should just sum up the scene in the 'end notes' or if I should just cut the scenes out with brackets or something.
> 
> (Oh my goodness, I'm glad I realized I did this while they were still drafts, but I had mis-numbered two chapters as chapter sixteen, so I had to come back and fix that all up. Oops, but thankfully I caught it just soon enough.)

James’ POV

James listened to the things Anton said he’d done during Pepper’s vacation. He wondered when he had time to do so much, but for the past three days, and most of the day before James got him out of the lab, Anton had been working on a bit of everything. Anton was amazing. That what James saw from all this. He could do anything and everything he put his mind to. It was just like Department X when Anton had made his arm in a week, as a pre-teen with little to no help from the surrounding scientists. He’d been given the Weapons Department as payment for such a service. Karpov saw to it (and he saw to Karpov officially handing him the department).

“That’s a lot,” Pepper said. “That’s _more_ than what you needed to do, ya know?”

“Well, I just wanted to have things easy for you when you got back. Build back up to it, or something like that. Didn’t want you to be flooded with a ton of paperwork, so just because I couldn’t go to the office didn’t mean I didn’t get lots of stuff done, just not as much as I could have if I had gone out.”

“He’s still on ‘house arrest’? This is your home, he knows that right?” Pepper asked. Anton shrugged. Of course they knew this was Anton’s house. Who else would they send their requests to for new clothes, more food, extra this or that? They turned Anton into a trust fund when Anton was so much better than that. He didn’t need a dime to reach his full potential (although money did help). Anton could maim or kill most of them with his bare hands, yet he doesn’t. They didn’t know how lucky they were that Anton didn’t want to hurt them right away. They would have been extra dead by now. What did ‘extra dead’ mean? Well, whatever it meant, Anton could do it.

“He knows, but he’s just doing what he thinks is right, even if its not.”

“Keep talking like that and I’d start believing the training from Nat is not actually to kill the Avengers, but just to get us together.”

“Well, has it worked?” Anton smiled and Pepper shook her head. Anton claimed James’ lap and recovered them with the blanket. Pepper sat beside them, and Natasha sat on the further end from them, beside Pepper. Natasha had found Connor, and had him on her lap where she was petting him. Thank FRIDAY for reminding James they even had a cat, because Anton definitely didn’t remember.

“So you _don’t_ want to kill the Avengers anymore?” Pepper asked. James had to agree, though. Had Anton taken his idea for revenge back? Why would he do that? They had only treated him worse, mostly neglecting him, but when he did see them, Anton came back ready to break stuff in his workshop or get Natasha to spar with him until she knocked him down (then James would be called in to take him to get some water and rest because he needed it).

“No, I do… I just… They aren’t bad people. They help people. My discomfort shouldn’t outweigh the lives of innocents who would otherwise be harmed without the Avenger’s intervention.”

“We’ll continue training, just in case you change your mind, but know that I’m behind you getting rid of them, but I don’t want you to go back to being their doorstep. I’m sure James and Natasha would second me on that. You don’t deserve to be hurt just because they think they’re entitled because you aren’t heroic enough. You are a hero, Tony, not traditionally like Beowulf or Harry Potter, but you save people. You help people. You do it all because you know it’s the right thing. You selflessly offer assistance to people who need it. That’s what a hero is about. Steve, by that definition, isn’t very heroic in my mind.”

“Take your armor off, Tony, and what are you?” Natalia said, a rather unhelpful addition to the conversation.  

“... I know where you’re going with this. Just know, you can talk about this for hours and my opinion won’t change.”

“You’re stubborn like that,” James said. He kissed the side of Anton’s head. He liked that. The small signs of affection, the casual touching. It was nice. “But, just know that I’m behind Pepper with this, fully. They don’t treat you right.” Anton opened his mouth before it snapped shut. He shook his head for a moment.

“Let’s just watch a movie before this gets too emotional for all us stunted people. Let’s just put on a comedy. Like, uh, _Beetlejuice_ ,” Anton’s cracked-voice wishes were met quickly with FRIDAY’s assistance. Anton was asleep on his shoulder a quarter into the movie. FRIDAY lowered the sound down slightly and James looked at Pepper.

“I know he can see it,” he said.

“Yeah. He knows. He just thinks he deserves it. Like you. You think you don’t deserve happiness, Tony thinks the same about himself,” Pepper sighed and she looked at Anton. He was so adorable when he slept. He was cute often, most of the time, but asleep he looked like he didn’t carry the weight of the world on his shoulders. He just looked, at ease. “I think that’s why he’s trying to convince you so hard that you can find happiness, you can find it and be happy and enjoy life to its fullest. Because, I think, he thinks you are going to leave him as soon as Steve sees you. That you aren’t going to want him anymore, and he wants you to know that you deserve better. Better than what Tony can offer,” Pepper raised her hand when he opened his mouth. “I’m not saying you do. In fact, I’m calling bullshit on all that. But I swear to god if you reaffirm that belief of his, if you ditch him for the Avengers, I don’t care about you being the Winter Soldier, James, I’ll do more than kill you. I will make you _suffer_.”

For a moment, James was stunned. He wasn’t sure if it was just a certain part of Pepper’s speech or if it was all of it.

“I won’t do that, I wouldn’t leave him. Ever. He’s too… he’s too precious and I--”

“You what?” Pepper was staring him straight in the eyes. It was intimidating. He wasn’t scared of Natalia or Anton. Well, he wasn’t scared of them in general, although he knew they were potential threats. No, Pepper’s stare felt colder than a Russian winter. _That_ was intimidating.

“I think I love him, and I don’t… it’s only been three months, I don’t want to scare him away, ya know?”

“Oh,” she sat back. What had she been expecting him to say? He wouldn’t leave… but she didn’t know that. She didn’t know his intentions, she wouldn’t know, nobody would. Words meant little, they could be lies, they could be changed. Words weren’t binding. Not truly. Actions, though, those were what was important. The only problem with actions is that he can’t actively ‘not leave’ Anton. She wouldn’t know until he was put in that position to chose the Avengers or Anton. He hoped she knew, though, that he would chose Anton.

“ _Ms Potts_ ,” FRIDAY said, “ _Mr. Wilson has requested to speak with Da tomorrow at two. He has asked for confirmation. Should I let him know that Da’s sleeping?_ ”

“Tell him that Tony is asleep right now, but that you will send your message. He can leave any information with you for Tony to review in the morning and reply to. He isn’t nearly important enough to wake him up.”

“ _Alrighty_ ,” FRIDAY was silent after that, and there was no alarm that Wilson had gone through extreme measures to speak to Anton. Out of all of them, he really was liking Wilson more than the other Avengers. He seemed harmless compared to a witch and a super soldier, but he had a level head on his shoulders, that could make him dangerous. The fact he had a background in ‘counseling’ could make him a potential threat, but not in the typical way he classified things.

After the movie ended, Natasha and Pepper both left for their rooms. James liked seeing them get along. They could probably take over the world together, at least politically. Pepper could run it, and Natasha would _neutralize_ any competition. He also liked them, they were nice, and they cared about Anton. That was very important. He was content to rest on the couch with Anton, but he knew if Anton woke up on the couch, especially in the position they were currently in (Anton clinging to him like a sloth while he held a hand on his back. He was sitting stiffly, but he didn’t want to wake Anton up with any sudden movements), that Anton would not be very happy about it. James was personally fine with just sitting all night with Anton with him, but Anton, when he could, tried to get James to sleep in a bed, or at least stretched out on the couch.

James’ floor was closest, and while he had taken Anton to his own room a few times, he didn’t want to intrude without explicit permission. Bedrooms were personal, or at least he felt like they were. He slowly stood, supporting Anton as he did so and carried him and the blanket up the stairs and onto the second floor. He got to his room, and he pushed the door open. He pulled the other blankets (Anton had spoiled him with a ton of blankets) out from where they were tucked in. He gently set Anton down, pulling the blankets up over him, and moving to the other side of the bed. He took his boots off and checked the lock on the blade he had pressed flat against his back. Of course it was locked there, he wouldn’t have let Anton crawl over him if there was a possibility he could be hurt. He took off the contraption around his waist off completely and the knife with it. He could sleep in it, but he didn’t want to sleep in it unless he had to. He was sure he could do enough damage with one knife anyway. It was more just to keep him feeling less vulnerable than actually needing it. He didn’t want another incident of nearly killing Natalia, only if he even attempted Pepper, he knew she would put her knew knife-heel shoes to use.

He had, otherwise, been wearing the same less-than-casual clothes since Anton had given him a closet full of clothes. He had his old tactical uniform, but he had that put away. He prefered the soft lounge pants and sweaters or tank tops. He wore his boots only because of two reasons. First, he felt naked without them, and second, he hid another knife there. Three knives is likely three too many for a pacifist, but was he even a pacifist? No. He liked violence, he loved it and missed it, but he just thought it best to abstain from those sorts of activities himself. But, carrying protection in the form of concealable knives was habitual.

He rolled on his side, and pulled Anton closer. After a weird noise that sounded like three words combined into one odd vocalization, Anton settled, and grabbed the arm James draped over his side to his chest and held it with both hands.

Now that Anton was comfortable, James was trying to think of ways to do three things:

One, study more on the Avengers. Rely less on what he is told, and more of what he hears. FRIDAY could help him with this, and he was glad to have her assistance. He was still learning about technology, he hadn’t been allowed to touch anything at HYDRA. He tended to lash out and break expensive equipment. To be fair, they were torturing him and wiped his memory more than once, he had a right to be angry and attempt to sabotage them.

Two, figure out how to get over his fear of being the Winter Soldier. Yes, he was now James, but he was still the Winter Soldier. He retained those skills. That was a huge part of him. Through the Soldier, he retained Bucky Barnes’ skills as well, or at least the ones that the Soldier was required to use, like sharp shooting and the ability to handle stupid, tiny children. From the memories, he was never like Bucky Barnes again, but he never had any other ‘Small Stevies’ either, he had future agents.

Three, he would treat Anton right, because if he knew how it was to be treated as he deserved, like a human being, not a walking debit card, maybe he could see that he is better than what they make him out to be. He would get Pepper and Natalia more involved, but he had seen them already doing this. He just needed to get Anton to see that he was worthy of affection and care (maybe he could work on himself in the process.  A ‘two bucks with one bullet’ thing).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, I'm posting TWO chapters, today. So there will be one more, after this. Both 15 &; 16. Chapter 18 has some smut, that's pretty much the chapter, but there's some developments... I think? I don't remember. Either way, 17 is in Sam's POV! (The first part.)


	16. Tony's POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam's therapy. Who's Leon?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so I had this whole note written, but then I realized that I had accidentally made two chapters 'chapter sixteen' so I had to go back and renumber them. So, yeah. That was great. 
> 
> Anyway, this is a bit... all over the place. Really, things start going all over the place from about this chapter forward, but the plot gets really 'all over' in chapter seventeen and eighteen. I'm trying to clean them up, but they will probably still be a little weird. I've gotten too many ideas and I can't fit the into this at the same time, so I don't know how I'll work with that. Maybe I'll just put those ideas to the side and write a second fic after this one is over (which I also don't really know when that'll happen. Working blind here. Not the best way to do things, to be honest). 
> 
> So, two updates in one day. Hopefully I can either post Friday (I automatically went to type that as 'FRIDAY' as in Tony's AI. What has happened to me?) or maybe Tuesday. I don't know, I gotta figure out a good schedule, but for the most part, hopefully every Tuesday will be a thing, with occasional other times too.

Tony’s POV

Waking up in an unusual bedroom usually meant something really weird was going on, but when he looked at the bedside table and a book on this side, he knew it was James’ room (who else read Anne Rice?). He tried to twist as gently as he could to face James. If he was lucky enough, James’ would be asleep and he could pass out on James’ shoulder under the ‘odd sleep movements’ excuse. James’ eyes were closed, but that didn’t mean much. His breathing was controlled, too, but that also didn’t mean much. James could regulate everything to appear to be something he’s not. He risked it and rested his hand on James’ chest and the other curled in his sweater. God, he was a genius. This was so nice. He hoped James loved the clothes he bought him as much as Tony did. James’ flesh arm tightened around his waist. 

“You’re awake?” 

“Yeah,” James didn’t open his eyes, “been awake most of the night. Planning stuff.” 

“What kinds of stuff?” Tony asked. Since he was here, and since James had already felt him cling to his chest and rub his cheek against the cotton blend, he threw his leg over James’. 

“The interesting kind,” James said. His right eye opened just enough to look at him before it closed again. “I wanted to be with you while I could, anyway. Last night, Wilson asked to see you today at two, so I’m not sure what’s going on with that, but I assume you want to see him here on your turf. Safer.” 

“Oh. Yeah. Two then. What time is it?” 

“Eight.” 

“So early!” James laughed at him, but he used that to press his cheek against James’ chest again. “Let’s sleep for another hour. Just one more, then I’ll get up.” 

“I’m not going to make you get up yet. This is the first sleep you’ve gotten for four days,” James shifted on his metal arm to prop himself up. Tony was painfully aware of how that arm was hurting James. No, he could sleep in on a different day. He needed to make his arm, he needed to see Pepper out - shit! She was already gone. It was  _ eight _ . It was so late! Who let him sleep in when he had so many things he needed to get done? “What’s wrong,  _ zvezdochka _ ?” 

“I have too many things to get done. I’ll sleep in later,” as James let him go, so he could untangle himself from the warm blankets (that he didn’t want to leave, but he  _ had  _ to) and stand up, he saw James roll off his side of the bed and stand up. 

“At least take a shower?” 

“Ten minutes and no more,” Tony took that as a dismissal and sprinted from the room and up the stairs. He took a fifteen minute shower - including trimming his beard after and brushing his teeth, and was already behind of schedule now. He got dressed in some jeans and a shirt he was okay with getting completely ruined. He nearly collided into James when he got to the first floor. He had been standing at the end of the stairs. He walked and Tony followed. James pushed the cup of coffee to him on the counter and a plate with a sliced apple and toast. 

“Eat it. If you’re going to be creating today, you’re gonna need the energy.” 

“Oh, how my Snowflake takes such good care of me!” 

He drank the coffee, it was hot, but his mouth would heal. He shoved the apple slices into his mouth quickly and took the toast. He’d finish it in the workshop. 

“I’ll be down soon. I’m gonna do a few things first,” James kissed his forehead and he smiled and gives him a thumbs up before going to the stairs down to the workshop. He punched the code into the keypad and walked inside. He stretched his arms and spine as he walked towards his desk. He had to get dressed more appropriately for Sam at one-thirty, but he had five and a half hours before that really mattered. His screen came alive when he touched it and sent the holograms up. That was the arm he’d be making first. But before he could work on the arm itself, he needed to work on how to get arm to something attached to his body. He would need James for exact measurements. He was good, and he looked at James a lot, but he didn’t remember his dimensions. He needed to measure when James came down later, but for now, he would work on finding something out that would be as painless as possible to attach, as well as something that would stand the test of time. He could make many new things, but he didn’t want to subject James to the pain that replacing the entire wiring from his nerves to his arm would cause more than he needed to. 

He worked until James came down later. It was… it was now eleven. He looked up to acknowledge James and then he turned back to the screens. He planned on the arm, ‘The Other-Other Other One,’ to be made by extremely durable materials. He had a few different ideas. He could use vibranium. He could use adamantium. He could use Antarctic vibranium, or he could just mix a bunch of strong stuff he used on his suits together and see what happened. He hadn’t done something like that since… a very long time. He had heard of a scientist making stronger-than-adamantium adamantium with a mix of components on accident. He could try it. He would try it, but he would build this first. He focused on the designs. He tried to find similar materials. He would need something to be just as durable and heavy as whatever he was going to make, but he didn’t know how heavy his new mix would be. He could look into what he could try. Yes, this would be a methodical process. He didn’t want James to suffer for even longer, but he needed to make a durable socket for his durable arm, if not, it was just a waste. He would start mixing soon. He decided to have FRIDAY help him run numbers and possible combinations that weren’t tried and documented on. He would do everything that hadn’t been done yet, and hope it worked out for the best. 

Back when JARVIS was around, he had gotten the ‘recipe’ for adamantium from the top-of-the-top WSC before SHIELD crashed and burned. He would be using that for sure. He just needed to order extras of everything to have enough to waste (he would find a way to do something with them). The only issue was how difficult and straining it would be to actually make a full arm out of adamantium, since it was beyond difficult to work with after it hardened. He needed to make an arm, so would he have to make a mold? How would he make the arm… he would make plates. Yes, he could forge plates and attach them to a skeletal base, and figure out from there. How silly. Why hadn’t he just thought about that… from his schematics, he had already thought about that. Hmm. 

Maybe he was more tired than he thought. He decided to take a break, because if his brain was misfiring like that, he shouldn’t be working on something as important as a piece of James. Yes, he needed to get it done, but if he fucked up (psh, please -- it was still a possibility however unlikely) then that would be bad. Very bad. 

“This is interesting,” James said as he walked to the back couch and sat beside him. That quickly turned into him with his head of James’ lap. “It’s also one-thirty.” 

“Already? Where has the time gone? I’ve done nothing!” 

“You’ve done more than most. Here, go get dressed. I’ll stay down here, so nobody sees me,” when Tony got to his feet, James stood and kissed him softly. Tony could do this, he could deal with Wilson. He wasn’t that hard to ‘deal’ with, he was just loyal to Captain America in a ridiculously stupid way. That was probably his main flaw. Otherwise, he had been a good person. Well, he  _ had been _ before he’d been brought to the dark side. Now… well, now it was just…. 

He changed out of his shirt. The shirt he hadn’t gotten dirty yet because he hadn’t really gone into ‘create mode,’ rather he was still looking over designs and trying to figure out how and where to get the odd mixture of materials he wanted to use. He could get them, money could get just about anything, but the actual making of things was something most people with lots of money couldn’t do. That was mainly a ‘him’ thing. He pulled the shirt off his bed. He smelled it, and put it on. It smelled like James, and he needed that if he was going to get lectured by one of Steve’s buddies. Yeah, he didn’t know what he did wrong, but why else would Sam Wilson want to talk to him? 

He went to the kitchen to get himself tea, hidden in a travel mug so Wilson would think it was coffee, and he waited on the couch. He worked, on his tablet, while he sat there. He wasn’t doing nothing, but he wasn’t doing as much as he could. He had gotten shipments of metals and alloys directed to Pepper’s office in the SI building so he didn’t have the Avengers poking through his stuff. They would be curious and likely bring Ultron up at least twice. He would ask Hap-- actually, he’d ask Pepper. She could lift just about as much as Natasha could and she could do quite a bit. So, he’d request Pepper to bring it home on the down-low. He couldn’t use the gold-titanium alloy he used to make his suits with since they got broken usually. No, it needed to be tougher than his suits. His suits were protecting squishy bits and loaded with weapons, James  _ was _ a weapon all on his lonesome. He didn’t need missiles in his shoulders. He needed to be able to have a reliable arm that wouldn’t malf-- 

There was a knock on the door. He closed his designs down on the tablet and opened the door. It was Wilson. Just Wilson. There was no entourage of Avengers with him. 

“Hey. Can I come in?” 

“Yeah, sure,” Tony took a step back and let the door close when Wilson was inside. He motioned to one of the few chairs in the living room. He took his spot on the couch and Wilson sat in the armchair closest to him, on his left. 

“So, whatcha workin’ on?” 

“Uh… why? Are your wings working alright? I could take a look, have them back in record time.” 

“No, no the wings are fine. They’re better than what the military provided.” 

“Yeah, that’s because  _ I _ made your new wings,” Tony frowned. “So, if you’re not here for your wings, why are you here?” 

“Well,” Wilson said, “I just wanted to see if you wanted to talk. I mean, I tried to tell the others that you weren’t a bad guy, you aren’t HYDRA, but I also realized how much their badgering must hurt you. I mean, you’re always pretending like it doesn’t affect you, but you have emotions and feelings too. Even if they don’t like to think you do. You’re human, just like the rest of us,” Wilson -- maybe he should call him Sam -- said. Tony wasn’t sure if he wanted to think about why Sam had miraculously decided to come and shrink him, but he wasn’t sure he was going to just let an enemy in like that. 

“Yeah, it hurts, but it hurts less than it did before. Barely a blip on my radar… is that why you’re here? To  _ talk _ ?” 

“Well, I just wanted you to know that you don’t have to stay cooped up all the time here. You’re welcome, even if some of them are being stupid, I know Steve and Vision miss you. I hardly know you, but your absence is felt all the same,” Sam crossed his legs, and he looked like a real therapist now. So far, Sam had only been kind, but that only put Tony more on edge. The nice ones were the ones who wanted to hurt you the worst. That’s why they were nice, psychological warfare could hurt worse than any bullet. “That’s a nice shirt,” Tony looked down at his shirt. Yeah, it was a nice shirt. Soft and navy blue. “I’ve never seen you in something like that before.” 

“Yeah, it’s soft. A gift, actually.” It was a gift for James, actually. He had needed the reassurance and comfort for what he thought would be a lecture, sopulled on James’ sweater. Whatever, everybody had comfortable sweaters to just laze around in. Nothing too off about it. 

“It’s nice. A good look on you.” What was Sam trying to get at? “Are you happy, Tony?” 

“What? I don’t think that’s… I don’t think that should be discussed. I’m not your patient, that means anything I tell you can be told to the others who may not be as  _ benevolent _ as you are with the information.” 

“I just asked a general question. Nothing that would hurt you if I told someone. From your reaction, I’ll say that you either are very happy or you’re very unhappy.” 

“Anything can be used against someone. Even if it doesn’t seem important, someone will find a way to twist it.” 

“Learned from experience?” Tony sighed. 

“I’m happy,” he said. He was happy. Not as happy as he could be, but he was as happy as he thought he’d get. He had Natasha and Pepper, all his children (except Vision/JARVIS - but he tried to ignore the pain), and James who was so nice and ridiculously sweet. What more could he ever want? He should be ashamed of wanting more, he had it all, right? 

“That’s good. I was there to see what you did for Pepper’s birthday. She seemed really happy--” 

“Yeah, when you and your buddies came in demanding Nat to leave with you. That was a real dick move, by the way,” he said. Then again, could he really expect any sort of decency with these people? Probably not. 

“That’s not how it was.” 

“That’s exactly how it was according to both Nat and Pepper.” 

“Pepper’s been over more often than usual. These past few months she’s been over almost every night. Something happen between you two?” 

“Nothing more than usual,” he drank his tea, “we’ve decided to watch a lot of movies, and she can’t really watch a movie with me and Nat if she’s not with us. I have watched  _ Silence of the Lambs _ so many times that I can’t even think about Hannibal Lecter without getting afraid of Pepper. She really likes Clarice, and Pepper is so much scarier than any intelligent, ex-surgeon, ex-psychiatrist cannibal could ever be.” 

“You think she’s scary?” 

“Who doesn’t? She’s like the Voldemort to my Bellatrix. Fearful adoration. Seriously, it’s a thing.” 

“There. Right then, did you realize you chose the villains to represent you rather than the heroes. Couldn’t something similar be said for Dumbledore and Harry? Or what about the Hermione to your Harry? Or even the other way around? Do you think you’re the villain, Tony?” 

“Stop saying my name like that.” 

“What else should I call you?” 

“Well… just, you say it like you’re trying to care, but you don’t, so just say it like a normal person. Just ‘Tony’ not ‘ _ Tony _ ’,” hopefully Sam would accept the change of topic. 

“You didn’t answer my question, though,” nevermind. Sam wasn’t going to let that drop. How could he formulate a ‘proper’ response? 

“Well, Dumbledore and Harry aren’t really all that scary are they? They’re the good guys, they’re bound to do the right thing because they’re the protagonists. They  _ have _ to do the right thing, that’s how fiction works. Your hero can’t be killing random people. Harry and Dumbledore both martyred themselves, and even in the end, Harry didn’t purposely try and kill Voldemort, he sent a disarming charm at him. Voldemort technically killed himself.” 

“Alright. I see. If you had to classify everyone in your life as someone from a fictional world, who would you chose to describe them, and then, who do you see as yourself?” 

“This is dumb.” 

“Then it shouldn’t be too difficult a task for you to complete.” 

Tony didn’t have to say anything, but… if he made him leave now, he would look suspicious. More so than before. He already called himself Bellatrix Lestrange, so that probably didn’t earn him any brownie points. He called Pepper  _ Voldemort _ . If she ever heard that, she would definitely murder him. If not murder, then he’d be  _ corrected _ by her. She always thought herself more of a Hermione (Tony had to agree, but that hadn’t fit the analogy!). 

“Sarah Connor, Leon, Neytiri, and I have two Newts and one Homer - the vampire, not the Simpson. I’d be… well, Captain Jack Sparrow.” 

“Who’s who in your classification?” 

“Well, Pepper’s Sarah Connor, Natasha’s Neytiri, DUM-E and U are Newt and FRIDAY’s Homer.” 

“And ‘Leon’?” 

“... do you even know whose these characters are?” 

“Only half of them,” Sam smiled at him, before repeating ‘and Leon?’. 

“Well if you don’t know who half of them are, then how are you going to properly shrink the meaning?” 

“I’ll figure a way. Leon?” 

“My… internet friend,” Tony could agree that his lie was bad, but to be fair, he had been an idiot and actually gave him a character. But goddammit, he was too tired for this. He should’ve slept in with James, but no, he had gotten up and tired himself out more and now he was being stupid. Completely and utterly idiotic! He never thought he’d be so adamant about his stupidity, he was a genius when compared to geniuses, but damn. He messed up. Thanks, no thanks, spy training. Where was it when you needed it? 

“I don’t think you’re telling the truth.” 

“Well, you never said I had to tell the truth. You just assumed I wanted to talk with a therapist today, so here I am, talking to you… are you evaluating me? Another ‘Tony Stark: Not Recommended; Iron Man: Recommended’ sort of thing? Or is this a ‘is he HYDRA’ or not?” 

“You’re awful paranoid.” 

“You don’t live as long as I have without being paranoid. Especially not in this sort of life,” Tony sighed and realized his tea was gone. He sighed and set the mug down. “Look, I don’t want to be a bitch or anything, but I have other things I need to be doing, and I really don’t want to deal with having someone try and get into my head. One person is more than enough for my brain, thanks.” 

“Tony,” Sam said as Tony stood up. Sam was still leaning against the couch. “Who is Leon?” 

“I gotta get back to the workshop. Here, I’ll graciously walk you out because I’m just that nice,” he walked to the door and after two minutes of staring at each other, Sam got to his feet and walked out the door. 

“I’m not an enemy, Tony.” 

“Yep, right, mhmm,” Tony shut the door behind him. He took the mug to the kitchen and walked back down to the workshop. James looked at him from where he was watching the live feed of the entryway to the house. Sam had walked out, and FRIDAY caught him as he walked through the compound. He avoided Steve, who was badgering him into telling him ‘what happened,’ and finally went to his room where he shut the door. FRIDAY didn’t have permission to access the cameras in Sam’s room. 

“He didn’t say anything.” 

“He probably knows I can watch him, and is waiting until I’m actually busy. That asshole.” 

“So… I’m assuming I was ‘Leon,’ but I’d like to point out that I don’t know who that is.” 

“He was awkward, and a bit weird, but he was efficient. Also, you’re attractive, he… wasn’t. No, the idea that you go and kill people and then watch movies and nurse plants is adorable and accurate,” Tony let James hold his hands and pull him closer to him. Tony moved to straddle James’ thighs where he was sitting on the couch. A new couch, since the last one was destroyed. It was more comfortable than the old (not destroyed) couch. “And you’re better than him, but if I said ‘T-800,’ he would know immediately who I was talking about… but also, I sort of didn’t mean to say anything, it was… when my mouth doesn’t connect with my brain fully. It happens from time to time, and I use it as an excuse to be blunt with the Avengers, but I know what I say ninety-eight percent of the time. This was an instance where the rare two percent snuck in.” 

“And you’re Captain Jack Sparrow?” 

“Well, who else do you know that can improvise and just hope things work for the best? He’s a genius, I swear. Like me. And I’d like to point out, I’m extremely flamboyant, just like Jack.” 

“There’s a ‘Captain’ before his name. Just right there, in the front,” James smiled at him and he laughed. 

“You’re such a dork,” Tony sighed and rested his head on James’ shoulder for a moment. He needed to get back to the arm, but if he just took a nap, maybe he would function better. Sleep, he’d heard, was actually a necessity in the scheme of staying alive. “Can I take a nap on you? It’ll be quick, but--” 

“Of course. As if I could refuse you anything,” Tony laughed, he knew James could definitely refuse him some things, but he let it go. It was just what people said, normal people. He fell asleep shortly after. James was so warm and despite his hard muscles and metal arm, he was so comfortable. 


	17. Sam's POV - Natasha's POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Therapy. 
> 
> Who's Yasha?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, sorry. I mean, I think it short, and also, I mean, wow, I wrote this and it made me angry because wtf guys??! But anyway, yeah. Hope you like this.

Sam’s POV

When Sam left the portion of the building deemed ‘Stark’s Side’ by Clint and Wanda, he made his way towards his room. He ran into Steve and the others. They were all asking about how it went with Tony, but he just brushed them off and away. Tony was hiding something, that much was for sure, but the fact that Tony was already so paranoid that he would share his secrets, well, that didn’t sit well with him. He knew that they hadn’t been treating him fairly. They, the Avengers, had been treating Tony like garbage. He wanted to apologize, but he also doubted an apology would mean much. Tony should be shown action. He needed to change his behaviour toward Tony. The man paid for everything, helped them more than he helped himself, and had enough issues to fill three comic stores to the brim. 

He went to his room, and he sat down. Why had they treated him so badly? Yeah, Tony created Ultron, but… he wasn’t the only one to blame, so why did they pin that on him? Tony, for God’s sake, had been restricted to the house, the house that he owned, by Steve, the man who was usually the first to patronize or insult Tony depending on the occasion. This whole ‘Nephila’ and ‘HYDRA’ business had him on edge, and he knew Tony knew something was going on. Tony might even know everything they wanted to know, but without his trust, they wouldn’t get any of that information. 

It wasn’t even about finding out what was going on. It was just about treating someone with the same shred of respect that said person treated everyone else with. How anyone could think Tony Stark was a HYDRA agent and Nazi was… that was beyond his scope of comprehension. How someone could jump so willingly to believe Tony to be that bad was… it was stupid and it showed just how subjective parts of the team were. At least Steve wasn’t jumping on the Clint/Wanda’s ‘Stark is a Nazi’ train. Stupid. 

He hadn’t seen Vision, either, and he was sure Vision would be able to help had they just told him. Vision could do anything JARVIS could, and JARVIS could do anything Tony could, so why hadn’t they just asked him for help? Cut Tony out of the entire equation? He didn’t know anything about that except that Wanda didn’t seem like she being all that truthful. He couldn’t bring it up to Steve or Clint without being lectured so what was the point? 

He looked googled ‘leon,’ and the first result was about the capital of Spain, but under it was a ‘Leon: The Professional’ which he thought was who Tony could have been referring to. It was a movie with Jean Reno, Gary Oldman and Natalie Portman. Just read the paragraphs under the ‘plot’ section of the wikipedia page. It was about a hitman… Who did Tony know? Who was a hitman? He only knew of one, and… the Winter Soldier. 

No. That couldn’t be it. Tony seemed genuinely surprised when they asked about the Soldier. Also, he probably wouldn’t care all too much about the man if he knew what Steve told him. The Winter Soldier killed Tony’s parents. If Tony knew about the Winter Soldier, then he would have found the information implying that the Soldier killed his parents, and he wouldn’t want to be around him. The idea of that is just… he felt silly for considering it, but… what else could it be?  _ Who _ else could it be? He would find Clint, he knew about the assassins from his time at SHIELD, maybe he can point him in the right direction. 

A few hours after Sam finished exhausting his resources, he had to go to Clint. 

Now, Clint had been so sure that Tony was working with HYDRA, but that couldn’t be it. That’s why Sam had decided to talk with him, to prove that Tony wasn’t HYDRA, but… he  _ was _ acting suspicious, but definitely not HYDRA-suspicious. More like, typical-Tony suspicious. 

So, finding Clint was difficult. He hadn’t been in his room, he hadn’t been in the shooting range, he hadn’t been in the kitchen or the living area. He finally asked FRIDAY where Clint was (and the others who were also gone) and she said that they had gone to a meeting with Wanda in Clint’s room. Sam knocked on Clint’s bedroom door. There was shushing and then the door opened. 

“Hey. I need to talk to you,” he said. Clint looked like he was going to tell him to go away but he added, “about Tony,” which shut Clint’s jaw and he stepped back for him to enter the room. He sat beside Steve. 

“So, what did your session with Stark tell you?” Clint asked. 

“It told me that he’s being suspicious, but in my professional opinion, I don’t think he’s HYDRA. Actually, I think he has a lover, and he’s hiding it from us.” 

“What?!” Wanda screeched. “What kind of stupid woman would--” 

“Uh, no. I think it’s a guy. He was wearing a sweater. Not his sweater, it was too big for him and too plain, but he said it was a gift, so… I mean, maybe it’s not, and I’m just going crazy, but he also mentioned a mysterious figure in his life. He called him ‘Leon’ but in reference to who I think is from the movie  _ Leon: the Professional _ since I asked him to classify his friends into understandable categories to get a closer idea of how he imagines and sees his friends. He wouldn’t tell me who this ‘Leon’ represented.” 

They stared at him for a second. 

“Wait, who is this character exactly? What traits are there? Maybe we know the person but you just don’t because you’re sort of new,” Steve said, and the others nodded. 

“Well, in the movie, the character ‘Leon’ is a hitman. An assassin. In the movie, he worked for someone named… Tony, who was part of the Italian mafia.” Wanda and Clint immediately rose to arms, claiming that there was proof of Tony being involved with ‘the unsavoury sort’ of people. Sam wasn’t about to point out that Clint, at one time, had also been an assassin, and Wanda had gained her powers only because of HYDRA. He wanted to ground them with that information, but he knew it would only make Steve get defensive and the other two would dislike him. “I came to ask you, Clint, if you know of any assassins in the business that Tony could have met.” 

“Oh my god. He  _ is _ working with HYDRA,” Clint said. 

“Why do you say that?” 

“Brock Rumlow.” 

Nobody moved, and for a second, it felt like nobody even breathed. Then, Steve stood up. 

“I need to speak with Tony,” Steve walked out of the room, shoulders and chest puffed up and his eyes filled with that determination that Sam once viewed with feverous awe. He wanted to be like that. He had, but he didn’t see the appeal anymore. He stood up to follow Steve, but Wanda stood in front of him and Clint ran out the door after Steve. This could only go badly. There was no other possible outcome but a serious fight. He should have stayed quiet, but he… Tony was right to be paranoid. He gave Sam just enough to send an execution squad to his home, from his home, in only the short forty-five minutes they spoke. 

Seventeen and a Half 

Natasha’s POV

Natasha had felt bad about not going down that morning, but she just wanted to stay in her room. She sent a few texts to Tony to let him know she was there if he needed or wanted something. He hadn’t responded, but she hoped he had seen them. She wasn’t avoiding him, she was just emotionally tired. She didn’t know why, but she was, so she was resting. However, mid belly rub-session with Connor, there was a rapid, loud knock on her door. Connor startled and flinched and she got up. She doubted anyone would bother her unless it was important, and she realized just how important some things got around here. Everything meant something even if it didn’t seem like it. 

She opened the door. She saw James standing in front of her, worried. 

“Rogers and Barton are rushing towards this side of the building because they think, due to Wilson’s big mouth, that he’s dating Brock Rumlow and is part of HYDRA. I need some help. I need you to keep Anton safe, and I’m gonna get out of the compound for a bit just in case they decide to force their way into a search,” he said. 

She nodded and they both ran down the stairs to the first floor. 

“Natalia,” he said as he was turning to the her, still on the last step, “should I just stay, just let them know where I am? Is it stupid to not want them to find me?” 

“It’s understandable. You’re still finding yourself. You go, Tony’ll understand. Got your knife?” 

“Always,” they nod at each other, and James runs back up the stairs, and Natasha made sure she was armed as well. She didn’t plan on killing anyone, but sometimes Clint and Steve both needed  _ incentive _ to do as she  _ asked _ . She went to the workshop where Tony was still sleeping on the couch, curled up where she assumed James had been, because he huddled to the warmth. She looked around and saw the monitors of Clint and Steve coming closer to the door. She pushed the hologram video feed out of sight and went upstairs. She brought Connor down, and by the time she was back, Steve was pounding his fist against the door. She got up, Connor still in one arm, and opened the door. 

“What’s wrong?” She asked. Steve held one hand on her shoulder and the other at her waist and guided her aside. She wanted to stab him, but luckily she couldn’t unless she dropped Connor. “Okay, that’s not reassuring. Is something happening? Please, tell me.” 

“I’m afraid you may have been compromised, Tash,” Clint said as he looked around the first floor. He hadn’t gone to the gym or weapons closet from where she’d seen. He came back. “Stark in his workshop?” 

“Yeah, but you know how you’re not allowed down there.” 

“Yeah, well fuck that. He’s been working with HYDRA this entire time. He’s got you fooled,” Clint and Steve both went to the workshop. She followed behind them, and when FRIDAY reluctantly gave them access on Natasha’s OK, she followed them in. They looked around, but their scuffling woke Tony up. He sat up and smashed his head on the side of the couch arm in the process. He groaned and looked at Natasha. She was with Connor and, the kids weren’t playing. He looked and saw Steve and Clint. 

“What brings you guys down here?” Clint got closer, and Natasha bit her lip when Clint grabbed him by the sweater he had on. Tony looked from her to Clint, as if she could explain what was happening. She knew what was happening, dumb people being dumb but having the ‘authority’ to be as stupid as they wanted without being reprimanded. She just shook her head. “Can you put me down, please. You’ll stretch the sweater.” 

“Whose sweater is this? Is this your  _ Leon _ ’s sweater? Is this your boyfriend’s sweater Stark?” 

“Uh… yeah, but I don’t know why you’re upset. Is it because I have a boyfriend? Ugh, I need coffee for this bullshit,” Tony batted Clint’s hand away, but they didn’t move. Tony looked at Steve. “Steve, this isn’t cool. Make him put me down before I ask FRIDAY to enact safety protocols.” 

“Put him down Clint,” Steve said as he looked through things. Tony rarely stored things on paper, and FRIDAY wouldn’t make accessing Tony’s files easy for someone like Natasha, it was impossible for someone like Steve. Clint dropped Tony. Natasha pushed Connor into his hands. He ran his fingers through Connor’s fur and looked up at Natasha. She still had no real idea what they were looking for. “Where are you hiding him?” 

“Hiding who? My boyfriend? Well, he was here when I went to sleep, so he must have left while I was asleep.” 

“Right, that’s totally believable. Or did FRIDAY warn him to get out before we showed up?” Clint asked. He moved to the drawers of tools and started opening them and pushing them around. She could see Tony growing more and more agitated as they continued to dig through his things. 

“He’s probably making dinner or something. He’s trying to get me to eat like a normal person. He’s having a real  _ fun _ time with that,” he looked at her again and finally she gave him an actual answer in a shrug of her shoulders. “Uh, anyway. How do you know about him?” 

“Well, Sam said he was an assassin.” 

“Right, and you figured out who he was just because he was an assassin. Do you realize how many assassins there are in this area alone?” 

“Yeah, but not all of them work for HYDRA,” Steve said, getting closer. “Where’s Rumlow, Tony. We know you know where he is. Make it easier on yourself by just fessing up. This can go smooth--” 

“You think I’m dating Brock Rumlow?” Tony looked back up at Natasha. “Oh. I thought you knew who he was. Well, then I don’t know where Rumlow is. Last I heard, he was in Africa hiding out because he never thought you’d go there. I mean, its like he forgets that  _ I’m  _ part of the team.” 

“If you’re not dating rumlow than who are you dating?” 

“That’s not important. Here, look, you can go through my room, but I can’t let you go through his room or anyone else’s like Pepper’s because I would be in trouble. My room is on the third floor, by the way. Want me to show you?” 

“No. You can stay here,” Steve said. “Natasha, can you come with us? Show us to  _ his _ room?” 

“Sure. Tony, can you keep Connor company while I go show them upstairs.” Tony nodded and held Connor to his chest. “Maybe you can work on outfitting him with that new leg you were talking about.” She walked out of the workshop quickly after, followed by both Steve and Clint. She showed them upstairs. Steve stopped, though. 

“Whose rooms are these?” 

“Well, that one’s mine, and that one’s Rhodey’s,” she pointed to their rooms, “but Tony’s is up one more story. I’m sure you can count.” 

“Yeah, I  _ can _ count. There are three rooms, and you only told us about two people. Whose room is that?” Steve pointed at James’ door. She tried to think of what was in James’ room that could be incriminating, but she also remembered no instances of actually being in the room. She sighed. 

“That’s  _ his _ room.” 

“Didn’t even give him a room on his own floor? Such a Stark move. I’m sure nobody minds us going inside,” Clint said. When did he get so… when did he grow into  _ that _ person. Where was the dork who tried to shoot someone in the eye for stealing his potato chips? He had been so fun and relaxed and now he was… demented. 

“Well actually--” 

“We’re not really giving you or Tony a choice. We can’t allow someone dangerous within such close proximity to the Avengers. This should have been brought to our attention. A non-Avenger shouldn’t be residing here without proper clearance, like Ms Potts,” Steve opened the door. Natasha followed him and Clint inside to keep them from breaking anything. There was a stack of books on the right bedside table, and there was a bookshelf that was picked through, but also sorted in alphabetical order. 

“Who the hell is this guy? What is this?” Clint picked up the book on top of the pile. “ _ The Vampire Armand _ ?” 

“He likes gothic romance,” Natasha shrugged. 

“You know him?” Steve asked. She wasn’t about to answer just because she was upset with them, but she decided she should just to clarify to keep everyone in the house safe. 

“Yeah, he lives here.” 

“Well then, just tell us who he is.” Steve said. It was a command. She needed a moment. 

“His name’s Yasha. He met Tony through me. We  _ worked _ together before. In Russia,” she noticed that Clint hadn’t stopped digging around the room, but Steve seemed to think for a moment. “He got out of the business a year ago. Likes to read and make sure Tony eats enough and sleeps.” 

“Retired?” Clint asks while he’s hunched over the middle dresser drawer. 

“In a way.” 

“Really? This doesn’t seem ‘retired’ to me,” he pulled out three knives in shiny black cases. He tossed those to the immaculately tucked bed and then continued. He found the tactical vest and uniform. He threw that on the bed. “Does that seem ‘retired’ to you, Nat? That looks like he’s using Tony to get information, and he’s using you too.” 

“You don’t know what you’re talking about. You don’t know him,” she found herself growing very defensive of James. Maybe she hoped he’d react similarly should this incident be reversed, but she also knew that James would never use them like that (if it turned out he was, she wouldn’t know what to do. James was… the anchor for  _ everyone _ in their home). They had found him, not the other way around. Steve was staring at the tactical uniform. He walked over to it and spread it out. He stared at it for a bit longer before turning away. 

“If he was trained by the same people who trained you then I would beg to differ,” Clint said. Natasha wanted to strangle him. She had trusted him, however restrained that trust had been, it was still trust. She told him about the Red Room. The first person she talked to about it. He didn’t understand, she didn’t bring it up again. That’s why Tony was so nice to have around. He understood. 

“Why can’t you just let Tony be happy?” She asked. Steve got on the defensive. 

“How can you let Tony go parading around people like this? He’s fragile, you know that. You know that he needs to be cared for differently than the rest, and yet this strange man could be using him. You know he’s  _ weak _ , you know he’s  _ flawed and destructive _ , why didn’t you tell us something was wrong. Why didn’t you tell us something like this was going on?” 

She really wanted James to come into the room and just punch Steve. She couldn’t, not without making them distrust her, of what she had earned from them (and lost due to befriending Tony), and she couldn’t punch him without a reasonable excuse. He was likely still upset from her killing Karpov before they got any information out of him. 

“Yasha is a  _ good _ person. He wouldn’t hurt Tony. He loves Tony.” 

“If he’s such a good person, then why isn’t he here?” Steve asked. “Really. Why did he just leave? Tony didn’t even seem to know he was gone. If he loved Tony then why did he take off like he did?” 

“Probably because he’s scared of you,” she said. Steve paused and pointed at himself. 

“Me?” 

“Yeah. You.” 

“Scared? I’m the good guy. I’m Captain America.” 

“And he’s an ex assassin from  _ Soviet _ Russia living here without documentation. Just throwing this out there, but maybe just try and see it from his perspective. You start banging on the door, he flees. He’s not hiding information, he’s just scared. You, who is all about the law and the American Way, and him. He doesn’t even remember a life before becoming a killer. He doesn’t know if he’s a good person, and even when Tony and I tell him, he doesn’t believe us. So, sorry if he is terrified of you judging him and persecuting him. I don’t think I’d like you very much either if you demanded to get into his room and then dig around and mess shit up. Or accusing him of being HYDRA,” she picked up the knives on the bed and pushed Clint away from the dresser as she placed them back in the drawer. She folded the tactical vest and put that back in the drawer she had seen Clint take it from. 

“Well, why didn’t he just ask for help?” Steve asked. He seemed almost regretful of tearing through James’ room. Like he was just realizing that he was invading James’ personal space. She felt wrong, and she had only put things back in place. It felt wrong being in his room, to be there looking at things without him there too. 

“How would you feel in his position? People of power dictated his entire life, and now that he’s free, asking for help is pretty much asking for more control from new masters. He just wants to experience life and the goodness he deserves. Can’t you just let him find that? Let them  _ both _ find that?” 

“He’s not HYDRA?” Steve asked, as if that hadn’t already be clarified. 

“No. He’s not.” 

“Alright. When he comes back, can you let him know that we’re sorry. Just, this was wrong. We should have believed Tony,” Steve turned to leave and Clint kicked the door his way out. She shut James’ bedroom door and followed them downstairs. “Hey, maybe he knows something about Bucky? I mean, Buck was held by Department X for a while, that was Russia.” 

“I’ll ask, but he’s blocked a lot of the more  _ tragic _ incidents out. I think seeing something like someone being tortured, in the ways the Winter Soldier was, would be a little to tragic, even for an assassin like him. Or even myself,” when they walked to the front door of Tony’s portion of the building, she opened the door. “I think you should tell Tony, by the way. What happened. I think you’ll be surprised that he’s not a primadonna like you all seem to think. Let us know if we can do anything to help find  _ Bucky _ , even if Yasha needs to help. I’m sure he will understand losing a friend, he’s lost people before too in similar ways.” 

“Thanks,” Steve actually smiled at her, a sad and apologetic smile. She actually believed him, that looked true. He was just a desperate man driven into semi-delusion by a tragic accident he probably internalized and blames on himself. Clint, though, she didn’t know what was wrong with him. He’s was so  _ off _ . Clint walked away without a second look. 

“Anytime, Steve. Let’s not do this again though, just, Tony really isn’t the bad guy, I promise.” 

She shut the door behind Steve. James walked down the stairs a moment later. 

“FRIDAY said they were gone.” 

“Where were you hiding?” 

“Roof. Climbed up from the library window.” 

“He’s still in the workshop, if you want to know. They woke him up,” she said. James groaned. 

“He had _just_ fallen asleep. You know what? I made brownie cookies earlier; you want to break those out? We can save some for Pepper, but this batch didn’t really turn out,” she couldn’t help but to laugh a little at him. She was terrified and amazed of this man’s skills since she was a child. He had _shot_ _through her_ (twice) under HYDRA orders, and she wasn’t dumb or naive enough to think he wasn’t dangerous, but the man liked to bake, read about dramatic vampires, and snuggle. He, at first look, seemed like a housewife who was secretly kinky. She knew, though, that beneath that fluffy exterior, there was a whole ton of dangerous things waiting to make themselves known should someone be foolish enough to incite his wrath. 

“Well, we wouldn’t want to expose Pepper to those, so we’ll just have to eat them all and then make more, ya know, for Pepper’s sake.” 

“I totally agree with you. I’ll grab the cookies if you grab the milk.” 

Later, when they were in Tony’s workshop, James sitting on the couch with a cookie watching Tony work, Natasha beside him listening to his whispered commentary on what was happening, she realized how dangerous they could be together. Yes, James could learn to do extraordinary things like Tony, and from the way he spoke, he seemed to know a lot about what Tony was doing, but with his manpower behind Tony’s creative brilliance… she wondered if they had thought something similar. That seems like a thing they would both pick up on. The possibility for great things when paired together. Or maybe her own skills. It didn’t matter, because she would hopefully be spared should Tony and James take over the world, and possibly even made an advisor or something. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and Comments are life!


	18. Tony's POV - Natasha's POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sex. 
> 
> But also, Natasha's birthday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, the first part of this chapter contains graphic sex, and then second part, well, doesn't. Either way, the first part didn't want to be written, apparently, so it's a bit... awkward. 
> 
> Anyway, I really don't have any other comments for this chapter, but thank you all who are reading this!

Tony’s POV

Out of all the times and places, nearly four months and the entirety of Tony’s side of the compound, they could have had sex for the first time, they chose two days from Natasha’s birthday in weapons closet. 

At first, James had been hesitant about going into the weapons ‘closet’ at all, although it was more like a large room off the side of the gym. But then, he had been handed a few models and he decided he didn’t hate it so much. He watched from where he’d brought things in to tinker with. They were going to modify one of the many semi-automatic pistols in the weapons closet. Tony had bought three new pistols, the top three favourite of Natasha’s (as far as he knew), and two rifles (also her favourite types). Tony may or may not have legally gotten the blueprints for those, and even if he didn’t, it wasn’t like he was going to actually make the gun, he was just adding to it. Technically not  _ making _ weapons. Also, nobody but Natasha would have them, so that was reassuring. 

He set out the doubles and the schematics and set them on the table and sat back on the foldable chair. The things he’d do for his spider sister. 

He and James had already made (or he had made, and James had suggested) what to do with what, and they were just doing the little extra bits, and then they could wrap them and not have to look at another gun for at least a month because he hadn’t held a gun without the intent to murder in such a long time. It was odd, and he would take it in small steps. He still had his Iron Man armor. He was still improving it, James seemed to really enjoy going over the ideas with him and then watching him make things. (Once he had tripped over a cord, and after James helped him off his ass, he told Tony that his landing was an eight out of ten. The ‘friendly debate’ that followed was just as hilarious as James’ scores. Tony was always a ten, always.) 

Despite having the Iron Man armour though, they had been training (under James’ guidance to keep them from murdering, accidentally or otherwise, each other), and Natasha had suggested to just live up being Nephila the assassin. No more Iron Man armor at all times. Just his own self, which could be considered a weapon under certain standards.

Of course, the Avengers were still looking for ‘Nephila,’ and of course they weren’t going to find anything because Tony was good at covering all his bases. The Avengers looking for him (but not knowing it was him) was amusing, and it opened the opportunity to think about possibly confronting them about it. He hadn’t given that more than a passing thought, but he had to admit that he liked being unrestricted by armor and holding actual weapons more than walking around in cumbersome metal pieces and using his repulsors (despite them looking super cool). 

Now, growing up as Tony did, didn’t really offer much diversity in what he liked, especially since by the time he was sixteen he had killed more people than Rhodey has killed in his entire life (and Rhodey was in the air force, fighting actual wars). He was desensitized to most things, and certain things did things to him that they wouldn’t to other people. Or, guns, knives, and James in the same room was pretty much a recipe to making him all hot and bothered. He brushed it away. He and James had slept together, but only to sleep. They kissed, they hugged, and James had this nice way he’d hold Tony that made him want to just soak up the attention, warmth, and affection forever, but they hadn’t really talked about sex. Being  _ the _ Tony Stark, it sounded preposterous, but Tony Stark wasn’t always who he was, in fact, it was rarely who he was. Also, he didn’t want to scare James away. James didn’t need sex pushed at him, he just needed cuddles and kisses. So that’s what Tony gave him, in abundance. James didn’t seem to mind, though, and if he ever did, Tony would back off real quick. 

That did nothing to assist in the predicament he found himself. How did one bring something like that up? Usually, he would have been blunt, or he would of flirted, which he was good at, but James.  _ James? _ No, he was lost. James was the person he’d known the longest, and he was still as distant as ever because Tony didn’t understand how to communicate, apparently (although one could argue his problem of talking too much -- jokes on them, though, because talking doesn’t always mean communicating). 

So, they had been sitting hunched over the table for about thirty minutes. It sounded cliche, but they did go to reach for the same rifle. Tony blinked once and was about to pull his hand back when James leaned toward him and kissed him. It was so soft and sweet, like James, but there was this demanding and passionate  _ something _ that was more reminiscent of how he remembered the Soldier. And to clarify, James usually didn’t kiss like  _ that _ . He was a casual kisser, this was different. 

James pulled away for a moment to set the gun in his other hand down and push the schematic forward on the table since it was about to fall, and then he pulled Tony closer, and it continued. It was needy, and it was wonderful. James, though, didn’t seem to want to take it further than that, and at first, he was content to let that happen, but he found himself standing just enough to slide to James. It was uncomfortable, they were on foldable chairs, but it was worth it because not only did James’ hands find his waist and held him steady, but he could feel James’ arousal against him. The fact that he was finally feeling some response to him was nice. It was nice to know he wasn’t the only straining against his jeans (or sweats in James’ case). He shifted just enough to get a better angle, James moving his metal arm to pull Tony’s hair back to brush his lips against his jaw and press open-mouthed kisses against his throat. It wasn’t likely to leave marks, but he really wished there was a way to keep the bruises. 

“So, the AN-94 is the trick? Who would’ve thunk it?” 

“No, not the rifle,” Tony waited for James to tell him what exactly it was that had them progressing to heavy petting in a metal folding chair. “ _ You _ with the rifle.” 

That was the end of the chairs. That was not going to work. He backed away, pushing his chair away. He guided James with him to the floor. 

“Here?” He asked. 

“Yeah,” there was no way he was going to deal with a five minutes walk to the top floor from the other side of the building on the first floor, and in the end, was there any option to even have something emotional when this was brought on by weapons? No, he was going to fuck on his weapons closet floor, and it was going to be great. Between a super soldier and a concrete floor, he would get properly roughed up. 

“Weird request, but bite me?” 

“What if it--” 

“Yeah, make it hurt. Please. That’s the point,” he was expecting James to hesitate, but teeth replaced lips and he gripped the back of James’ shirt. How many people had he requested that of, after all the proper documentation (read: NDAs) was dealt with, and how many actually bit him? Not many, if any at all. He was Tony Stark, they didn’t want to bruise him, they wanted to be bruised  _ by _ him. James, though, wasn’t fawning over Tony Stark. James pulled away. 

“Wish it would bleed,” James said. Tony wasn’t sure if it was supposed to be a whisper or not, whether he was supposed to hear it, but he had heard it and he would find a way to make sure he actually bled next time. If there was a next time. He wanted there to be, and there was nothing saying they couldn’t do this all day every day (well, Pepper may have something to say about that). The bite stung, mostly, but his Extremis-serum body had already healed most of it. He wanted to actually bleed, but that didn’t seem like it was going to happen today. 

Still, despite the indentation healing back into smooth skin, James ran his tongue over where it would have typically been inflamed. He didn’t even have to ask the second time, and he made this embarrassing choked sound when James bit him again, and if that huff of laughter didn’t do things to him… 

So far, James had done most everything, and Tony wanted to reciprocate. He moved his hands, propping himself up on one elbow and holding James’ forearm with that arm, and sliding the other under James’ shirt. He felt his way up James’ torso, rather than see in because his head was back, and his eyes were closed, but he felt more than he saw anyway. The ridges of James’ muscles, the smooth skin of his waist and where he hesitantly pulled his hand away from where James’ prosthetic arm met his skin. He had only made the socket since, and the arm he had on wasn’t the fully finished design, but it was still good. It shouldn’t hurt, and according to James, it didn’t hurt now. But still, there were scars, and he wasn’t sure if James wanted him to touch those or not. 

He didn’t want to push James too far (but he did wanted to at the same time), because he knew he was greedy in nature. Both him as Tony Stark and him as Nephila, he  _ wanted _ , but he also loved to please. Or, he loved the reaction he got when he pleased others. James stood up on his knees, where he was between Tony’s legs, and pulled his shirt off. He quickly tossed his shirt to the side, and James slid his hand up from his side to cup his cheek. He smoothed his thumb over his cheekbone. The soft kisses turned into James doing deliciously sinful things with his neck, at least until he took advantage of the new skin. For someone who hadn’t had sex for so long, he was really good at it. Or maybe the fumbling made it nicer, but either way, James was good. So good. 

“W-where’d ya learn this?” 

“I thought it would feel good,” James brushed his metal thumb against his nipple, “from your reaction, I think it does.” 

“Yes, I l-like this v-very m-much,” every stutter was caused by a rough-yet-gentle bite to his collarbone. He was fine basking in the attention until a thumb slipped into the waist of his jeans. He reached down and pulled James hand back up. “Wait,” James looked worried, and Tony corrected that. “Let me,” motioned to him, “first?” Then, in that moment of hesitation, he was scared James would take everything back, just end it there. Maybe that was enough for him, but then he dropped his hand. 

“How do you want me?” Tony smiled and shifted them, flipping their positions from James between his legs, to him between James’ legs. He could (most definitely) worship James’ body for hours, but he moved quicker than he would have liked. The marks he could feel he was making on James’ skin were likely to heal before Tony even got to see the fruits of his efforts, which was disappointing, but it wasn’t all that bad, it just gave him an excuse to do this more often. 

Tony moved similarly, and he paused at James’ waistband wanting to be stopped, but when he wasn’t he pulled the sweats down and the briefs with them, just enough. They were on the floor, afterall, and the concrete was cold. It was a week from December. 

He held himself up with his right arm, and spread his fingers across one of James’ inner thighs. It had been a while since he’d done this, but this was James, this was his Soldier. But seeing James’ body shudder when he actually purposely touch his erection was one of the most satisfying things he had ever witnessed, Soldier or no Soldier. James’ hand curled in his hair before releasing him. 

“Hey, pull as hard as you want. I like it,” he winked at him, and James replaced his hand, but he seemed more hesitant than before, restrained. Tony leaned forward to kiss his jaw, where he could reach, and then slowly slid back to his place. James didn’t seem to notice, but James’ fist, in a few seconds, lost that ‘restrained’ tension and he was moving him to where he liked it most. Or so it seemed by James’ reaction. He wasn’t sure James knew if he was doing it or not, but he sort of hoped James realized what he was doing. Yeah, he didn’t like being controlled but this was different in a whole different way than what he typically meant (sex usually was the blur between things being good or bad, the whole ‘pleasure and pain’ saying, sort of). When he returned to his position between James’ legs, he tried not to feel somewhat bashful. That wasn’t something he usually felt, but… this was James. He wasn’t just someone he wasn’t going to see again, he didn’t have to force him into paperwork before they could fuck, this was… it was different. 

When Tony actually closed his mouth around the head of James’ arousal, well, James seemed very content, to say the least. He started moving, and then, he quickly found himself letting James control his movements, he was used in the most pleasurable way. Soon, though, James’ breathing wasn’t as controlled as it always was, from where Tony could see his face, his eyes were screwed shut and he was in a position where his lips was perpetually parted enticingly.  

“Anton,” James’ moans were soft, they weren’t like Tony’s but that didn’t make them any less lovely to hear. James made a motion to pull back, but Tony held his hip with one hand. 

“Come.” 

And James did, and Tony milked him for all he was worth. It wasn’t some sort of delicious ‘elixir of the gods.’ come was come, and it didn’t really taste pleasant, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t attractive to take it anyway. He reached up to wipe the corners of his mouth, and tucked James back into his sweatpants. A moment later, James was flat on his back and he had pulled Tony on top of him. The gentleness of the movement he made to wipe the tears at the corners of his eyes was so… not what he was used to. That seemed like things that only happened in erotica, but now James was doing it. 

“This is gonna sound unusual…” Tony started. This was going to sound weird and he was sure nobody had ever asked (nobody would  _ dare _ , at Department X), but this was something he’d been fantasizing about for a while, and no, it wasn’t weirder to just think about it. People tended to think about what they wanted often, especially when they thought they’d never get a chance to get the object of their desire. This, in Tony’s case, was James’ metal arm. Specifically now that it was Tony’s again. He made it for him, he was wearing a piece of him, and it was probably more attractive to Tony than it should have been. “And by ‘unusual’ I mean weird, but maybe you can… maybe I could… can I suck your fingers?” Alright, so that did sound as bad out loud as it did in his head. 

“Do you not want…?” 

“Oh, uh, if you want…” Tony made a vague motion. 

“ _ But _ ?” 

“But I could probably come with just…” he motioned less vaguely this time, purposely to James’ left hand. If he hadn’t been nervous of something bad happening, like James finding that ‘weird’ even compared to Tony’s daily oddness, he definitely wasn’t not. No, James was smirking at him, that smug bastard. James sat up, and when he stood he pulled Tony with him. He pushed the unloaded guns to the side and picked Tony up before setting him on the table before taking a seat where he had been originally. 

“Here,” James held his hand up. Tony wrapped his hands around James’ wrist. He brushed the cool fingers against his bottom lip. He watched James’ face. He looked unlike the unsure, self-conscious James that tried to get him to sleep at least three times a week instead of just once or twice (or not at all on some occasions). No, he looked sure, confident. Like the Soldier, but with more emotions. He looked like… James. Tony slid one hand down to hold James’ forearm. It was smooth, the plates fittingly together almost seamlessly. The remaining ridges he could feel where the plates connected wasn’t bad, it was just necessary. He had done a good job. 

Tony took a second, waiting for something to happen, maybe for James to decide that his request weird for him. When nothing happened, Tony licked up and down his metal fingers. He liked them so much. More than ‘like’ actually. He tasted like metal and gunpowder, despite them not having had touched gunpowder. It was the smell that Tony thought best suited the Soldier. He had always smelled like gunpowder, blood, and sweat. At least he had in Department X. 

He closed his eyes, feeling that James was watching him rather than seeing it. Now, Tony had done some pretty lewd things in public, more often than not for shock value, and that hardly bothered him. There would be dozens of strangers, but now, in front of James, he felt self conscious. He felt shy, like he was fourteen and being told to hit him only to have the Soldier catch his arm and correct him. Back then, and even now, it wasn’t often that people corrected him with actual certainty that they were better at the subject than he was. He was almost always the most powerful person in the room, but with James, he wasn’t. 

Despite that, though, unlike the people he tended to sleep with in the past, sex wouldn’t mean anything. James, though, cared for him, he was actually interested in what he had to say, his opinions mattered, and (what most people wanted from him) he wasn’t a dollar sign. He was just ‘Anton,’ the spiderling from Department X. And Anton hadn’t had anything beyond his genius and a deep need to please everyone with everything he did in fear that they would kick him out should he disappoint them. 

James’ flesh hand slid up his leg, squeezing his thigh. It was a quick motion, but James pulled Tony from the table and onto his lap. Apparently James liked this just as much as he did, if the hardness against his thigh, again, was any indicator. Well, he was glad James like this too, he was honestly afraid it was a request that would be denied. (He had always been obsessed with James’ metal arm, and he loved hands, specifically hands that could rip a human in half.) He rolled his hips against James, especially now that James’ hand moved from his thigh to his waist where he held him down. The idea of James making him do anything was enough to moan and have him painfully hard. He paused and pulled away to kiss James’ palm. He opened his eyes, and James looked right at them, right into his soul. 

“Such a good boy, Antoshka.” 

Tony inhaled sharply, “Say that again?” He placed the hand from James’ forearm onto his chest to use as leverage. “Say it again.” He would probably do anything for James to praise him for just about anything. He wanted to be good, he wanted to do things that others thought were worthy of attention, he wanted to hear James tell him that he was good, that he had done good, that he could do things well. 

“You’re a good boy,” James said. He seemed to catch on, and when his left hand moved to his cheek, and he was kissing his jaw again. “Such a good boy.  _ My _ good boy.” 

“Y-yes.” 

If it had been anyone else, he could have come undone from something as tame as that. He would also wouldn’t have come in his pants, strictly to save face. He had a reputation to uphold, or at least he used to have a reputation. He took a deep breath, and he leaned closer to James. He felt nice, like he just wanted to bury himself under a bunch of blankets and sleep. He wanted to be held (and it was a well-known fact, within this house, that James was the best at snuggles and holding because he was bigger than just about everyone else. His arms were stronger and he was running too hot to be a normal human, which was perfect for Tony. 

“I just want you to know,” James kissed him, softly, like the usual before this happened. “You were and are a very good boy… I wouldn’t mind reminding you, though,” he smiled against where he pressed his face against James’ neck. “You want to go lay down? You looked tired.” 

“Only if you stay with me.” 

“I’d love to,” James picked him up, and Tony wrapped his legs around James tighter, his arms curling around his back to stay against him. James took them to Tony’s room, which was okay. He’d rather be curled up in James’ bed, but he had a feeling that James felt similarly about Tony’s bed, which was fine. It was more than fine, it was really nice, actually. 

“How did someone so perfect end up with someone like me?” Tony asked as James set him down on top of the covers. 

“Nobody’s perfect, but you’re the closest I think humanity will ever get,” he laughed because James was smooth, but also because he didn’t really want to believe that. James kissed his cheek and disappeared in the direction of the bathroom. Tony kicked his shoes off his feet and off the bed. When James came back, he helped undress him completely, and wiped the stickiness from his skin. He was being pampered. This was some romance-novel grade aftercare that Tony didn’t think ever happened outside of the mind of housewives, but that should have been the giveaway. That pretty much described James, the romantic who had (more than once) come down to the workshop to just be near Tony and rant with FRIDAY about how stupid his favourite vampires could be. 

Beside the fact he had never had a partner who cared enough to do more than sleep or wait for him to sleep so they could snoop and steal his designs and/or money, James was actually smiling. With genuine fondness. For Tony. Maybe it was an indicator of how horrible Tony’s choice in previous partners was and his low standards for comfort when he hadn’t ever seen someone actually want to be around him, like James did. Especially once they got what they wanted. They moved on, and Tony was left in the dust behind them. 

James tucked him under the covers and kicked off his own boots. He got under the covers beside Tony. 

“It’s still early,” James said. True, it was early evening, six-ish or so, or at least it had been before everything happened. 

“Yeah,” Tony pressed his back to James’ chest. “But, if we sleep now, we can get up earlier. Hopefully she doesn’t go to the weapons closet, everything’s still on the table, or the floor in a few cases.” 

“Can’t argue with your logic,” James said. He wrapped his arm around Tony. 

“Smart man.” 

James laughed at him and kissed the crown of his hair before he relaxed against the pillow beside him. Maybe this step for he and James would spur Natasha to just ask Pepper out for coffee. God, they were both so stubborn! They liked each other, just get together already. Tony felt like he was trying to smash two magnets at each other and they just needed to be push a little hard so they could finally touch. 

Eighteen and a Half

Natasha’s POV

It was her birthday, she knew that. However, since Steve and Clint had raided James’ room and accused Tony of being HYDRA, they had been inviting both her and Tony to their get togethers. It was mostly filled with Sam trying to play nice and managing both Clint and Wanda’s bad attitudes while Steve tried to ask Tony about how his life with ‘Yasha’ was going. It was aggravating. Then, Vision hadn’t been to the compound, apparently, in weeks. How they hadn’t known that until three weeks earlier when Steve felt the need to apologize (although poorly) to Tony for accusing him of being HYDRA, and tell him that Vision  _ would _ have stopped them, but he hadn’t been there… well, how did that happen? FRIDAY apparently hadn’t spoken to him, and Wanda always said he was out trying to destroy the remaining Stark Weapons, so that lead them nowhere. Tony had removed the tracking from Vision because he didn’t want to restrict Vision’s development or seem like he was trying to control him, and it needed to be switched on manually, just under where his ribs would be (if he  _ had _ actual ribs). 

So, for her birthday, Steve had decided they would be throwing a party for her in their part of the building. Steve, apparently, was trying to integrate Tony back with them, so they could ‘be a team again.’ The worst part was him always trying to invite ‘Yasha’ to these gatherings, and Tony always trying to tell him that Yasha wasn’t really interested in large groups, but maybe one day he would join them. It seemed to upset Steve, and it seemed to make Tony uncomfortable. At least Steve was  _ trying _ , Wanda and Clint were open with their dislike for Tony, and Wanda had a particular hatred for James, who she’d never even met before (or at least as far as she knew. James had once mentioned ‘executing’ Wanda’s target victims, once they were useless, during her training with HYDRA). 

She woke up and got Connor food and water and put the dishes in the corner of the room where he usually ate, and then stroked his fluffy head before getting dressed. She pulled on some jeans and a hoodie. She wore her fluffy socks, because she hardly had a chance to wear them, and her boots. She tied her short hair up in a miniature bun and brushed her teeth. Ever movements felt like she was pushing through drying tar. She groaned and walked out of her room, leaving the door open for Connor, and then downstairs. She walked to the kitchen and found the other three residents sitting around the table. Tony handed her coffee, and James gave her his seat (there were only three chairs at the table, after all). 

“Happy birthday!” Tony said after a second. 

“Happy birthday,” Pepper said, nodding as if agreement with Tony. 

“Happy birthday?” James looked at Tony, “do we all have to say it? Isn’t that redundant? If you wish her happy birthday, then why does everyone else have to, as well?” 

“Ya know, I don’t know…” Tony looked up at James and then at Natasha. “What do you think?” 

“I think one is enough, but I don’t mind hearing you three saying it. I don’t even want to think about Steve’s stupid party. I just wanna eat cake and go to the gym so we can host a competition. I need victory in battle for a good birthday,” she smiled, “that sounded like something Thor would say. That crazy viking.” 

They let her drink her coffee in peace, although halfway through James and Tony moved to sit on the same seat. She wanted to gag, throw something at them, and ‘awe’ at them at the same time. She did none of those things and winked at Pepper from across the table. Pepper raised her eyebrow. 

“Want to share my chair, Natasha?” 

“You know what? I think I do,” she stood up and walked round the table to sit on Pepper’s lap. “Didn’t expect that?” 

“No,” Pepper admitted, wrapping an arm around her waist, “I didn’t think you’d do that, but I can’t say that I mind.” Natasha smiled because Pepper was flirting with her. Actually flirting. She had done it before, but usually, Pepper got to uncomfortable/awkward and ‘backed off.’ This time, though, she didn’t move. She looked  _ predatory _ , which wasn’t a look she associated Pepper with. Yes, Pepper could be intimidating, but the way she was being eyed didn’t feel like that. She wasn’t intimidated, she was curious and wanted to know more about what was going on and why. Natasha was interrupted from her thoughts by Pepper. “Are you alright? You got really quiet.” 

“Maybe… Tuesday? Yeah, Tuesday. Would you join me for some fancy coffee at… whenever you’re free?” 

“That sounds nice, how about one, for coffee and some lunch?” 

“That works.” 

“ _ I hate to interrupt this, sorry Da, but Mr. Rogers has asked me to let you know that they will be having breakfast in their dining room in twenty minutes, and that Mr. James and Ms Potts have both been invited as well _ ,” FRIDAY said. She looked at Pepper. Her sweet Pepper already dressed to impress and make lesser men and women weep. She was in jeans and combat boots, not something Pepper often wore, and a tight teal top and a large, light grey cardigan. She wanted to make a comment about seeing Pepper in an ‘honest-to-god cardigan’ but she was really too hooked on how attractive Pepper was, and why she would wear something like that to a gathering of some of her most-hated people on the entire planet, the Avengers. Why? Despite being in normal clothes, Natasha felt underdressed. Well, at least until she saw Tony who had commandeers James’ closet and wore James’ clothes more often than his own since Steve and Clint demanded to see James’ room. He looked like he was about to go to sleep, and it was a well-known fact that Tony Stark dressed up for every occasion. Tony didn’t look like he wanted to be that Tony today. 

“Tell him we’ll be there in ten,” Natasha said. FRIDAY confirmed. “You can come, if you want, James.” 

“Uh, I think I should stay here, for this at least. But don’t eat a ton of cake, I’m making you one and I promise it’ll be better than theirs.” The serious way that James delivered that was great. ‘Anything you can do I can do better. I can do anything better than you,’ is what she was reminded of. She smiled. 

“Thanks, James,” she said. And she meant it. She was glad James had become more open with them, and she understood why James hesitant to go to the Avengers. Steve, at it is, was still hounding Tony, now that Tony had been informed of Bucky, for information on what he found, and through Tony, he hounded ‘Yasha’ about Bucky as well. If James walked into the party, the focus would shift to James, and hostility against Tony would re-start due to him ‘keeping’ such ‘information’ from them. Steve didn’t know that James knew what happened around the compound, and he didn’t know that James was head of heels for Tony (they were so sappy it made Natasha partly grossed out and partly jealous). Since the Avengers tended to treat Tony like an outsider in his own home and were blatant about their use of him, James had decided the didn’t like them, including Steve. James was blatant in his dislike around the house, especially when Tony came back from ‘team practice’ nursing wounds that he had let Barton land because he couldn’t ‘be a badass out of the suit’ without alerting the others of what was going on. 

She thought  _ her _ threats were creative. She had nothing on James. He reacted similarly when she spoke about how Wanda wanted to ‘spend’ time with her and how she would go to Steve, in front of her, and ask him to tell her to be nice. James didn’t like the Avengers, but he absolutely detested Wanda. (He got defensive on Pepper’s behalf when she came home with stories about the ‘idiots I have to work with,’ as she called them. She was sure if James even carried out one of his threats, a non-lethal one, than nobody would say anything to Pepper again beside ‘yes, ma’am,’ and ‘thank you, ma’am.’) He could be terrifying at times (and she was so glad he hadn’t thrown them out months ago in Romania. He was the linchpin and the nuke simultaneously). 

James nodded at her, and stood up, lifting Tony to his feet as he did so. Apparently, Tony was always the one being held, because it had been Tony’s seat, but James took over and held Tony on his lap. Well, Tony’s tiny and compact, perfect height and composition to be held most efficiently. It made sense. 

Tony threw his hands up in the air and stretched his back. 

“The Avengers were so twenty-twelve,” he said. 

“What’s in fashion now, oh mighty spider?” Pepper asked as she and Natasha stood up. Natasha would have blushed had she less control over her body. She knew that everyone would be able to tell if her heart started to beat too fast, or something else. Yeah, she didn’t blush but she would’ve had she been typical. Because of this, she didn’t comment about how Pepper stood behind her with both hands on her waist. 

“Not the Avengers, that’s for sure,” he said. He excused himself to get his sunglasses (she didn’t know why, but he always did come across more aloof with them even though you could see through them - they were tinted red). He came back a minute later sunglasses in his hand. He slid them on. “Let’s do this.” 

Natasha waved at James as they left, he nodded back at her and had turned back to the kitchen by the time they opened the door. The door shut, and Tony shivered visibly. 

“Oh, that was an odd feeling,” he said. They all walked to the dining room. There were four empty chairs, for them Natasha guessed since everyone else was already seated. They took their seats. Tony sitting between her and the empty chair. Pepper was perfectly polite, even though Natasha had grown to pick out when she was pretending to be care but was really being facetious. She smiled more than once when they were talking about topics that were far too grim and serious to smile at. That was alright, they all thought she was a crazy, death-obsessed monster assassin, so it wasn’t all too suspicious. These people tended to think she was either a rude bitch or a robot. Both of which, she most definitely was not (well, she could be rude often, but usually in a playful way at home). After breakfast, which Natasha mostly poked at because she was uncomfortable with everyone watching her. She didn’t say anything. She wasn’t talking like Pepper and Tony were. Nobody seemed determined to bring her into their conversation either, which suited her fine. 

Breakfast ended quickly, and Steve moved them all to the common room, where the TV and games were at. They would be playing on teams. 

“So, we have an uneven number of people, so we’ll take Tony, and you take Wanda,” Steve said. That meant that team one was made up of Steve, Sam, Clint, and Tony; while team two was made up of Pepper, Wanda, and herself. That wasn’t very even, but they would try it. She tried to not think that they were grouped together just because of gender, although Steve was often ‘old school’ in his thinking, so that wasn’t uncommon for him (to group the men and women in different groups). They all had what they wanted. They were playing a trivia game, which was stupid because of course Tony would win. He knew weird, random things that other people didn’t really care about, like how a pineapple was a berry or that the La Paz in Bolivia couldn’t catch on fire because there wasn’t enough air to burn due to the high altitude. Who knew that sort of stuff? Tony, apparently. Although, Pepper was also very good at it. She knew odd things as well, like what the first planet to be discovered with the telescope was, Uranus, or what the Ancient Romans used to dye their hair, bird feces. Eventually, it just became a match between Pepper and Tony who were glaring at each other and nearly fighting over who was technically right because if Europe had no ‘large deserts,’ then that would exclude seventy percent of Russia, which was still technically part of Europe, too, and it did have a desert. That’s when Steve decided they should move on. 

“Maybe we should just play some Mario Kart or something?” Steve suggested. 

“Or we could do something fun, like play something that actually  _ bonds _ the team, like… ‘truth or dare,’ or ‘twenty questions,’ or even ‘two truths and a lie’,” Clint said. As if was assisting this situation at all. Tensions were already high because Pepper was there, and the other Avengers didn’t seem to know how to handle her presence ‘interrupting’ their normal Avenger-routine. 

“Well, you know Natasha best…” Steve finally said. “Who wants to play one of those?” Everyone but the three of them raised their hand, like children. Natasha repressed a sigh. “Great?” Steve looked at her to Clint, and she just shrugged her shoulders. They didn’t need to fight now, but she was planning for at least two fights with Tony over this game caused each time by either Clint or Wanda (or both). 

“Truth or Dare it is,” Clint said. “Nat can go first, since she’s the birthday girl and all.” 

“You, Clint, truth or dare?” 

“Dare.” 

“I dare you to shoot a bullseye with only your feet,” she said. Well, that ended up pretty funny. They had all convened outside where they set up a makeshift rig, not wanting to go all the way to the gym building, and Clint nearly got it, but he didn’t. So he tried six times until he did get it. He went next, and surprise-surprise, he picked Tony. As if he wasn’t entirely obvious in the entire reason he decided to play this particular game. 

“Truth or dare?” 

“Dare.” 

“I dare you to call Yasha out here to join the party.” 

“No.” 

“What?” Clint asked. He hunched over. “You can’t just not do a dare.” 

“Did I stutter? No, as in the negative response, as in ‘nope,’ as in I’m not doing that,” Tony crossed his arms. 

“Why not? Just call him out. It’ll be fine. We’ve known about him for a month and we’ve never even seen the guy. I can’t find files on him anywhere, so I don’t--” 

“You looked through files to find him? Really? That interesting. There’s this thing called privacy and common decency, and I think you need to learn ASAP. And no, I’m still not bringing him out. Look, we’ll ask FRIDAY to ask him. Here that baby girl? Ask Yasha if he wants to join us, please.” 

“ _ Mr. Yasha does not wish to join you at this time _ ,” she said a moment later. 

“See? He’s not here for your amusement, and he doesn’t have to leave the comfort of his home just because you’re an ashole,” Tony was glaring at Clint, and Clint was seething. “Ya know what, I love you Nat, Pep, but maybe I should go.” 

“No! No, that’s, uh, not necessary. Clint, why don’t you just ask him a question, like a truth thing instead?” Steve said. It looked like he was trying to keep this from derailing anymore than it had. If he could actually do a good job as their leader, he probably already would have stopped this, but Steve wasn’t. A good leader, that is. 

“Fine. What’s Yasha’s full name?” 

“Yakov Sokolov,” Tony’s confidence had to be faked, but it was faked so well that Natasha was questioning it. Obviously, she knew James didn’t go by ‘Yasha’ as Steve was told, but making an identity around that person to protect their James seemed like a very Tony thing to do. He probably made a trail and a whole life that existed based simply on James as Yasha. 

“His  _ full _ name.” 

“Yakov  _ Petrovich _ Sokolov,” Tony said. Clint looked at Natasha. 

“It was nice seeing you, but I gotta look this up. Happy birthday, Tash,” he stood up and left. Steve watched him leave and Tony picked at the immaculate hem of James’ sweater. He looked frustrated, but Natasha didn’t know if that was an act or not. He had just given Clint something, but if he had to tell the truth, it was likely for Tony to be ‘upset,’ or at least that what the Avengers would expect from him. 

“I think we should go home,” Natasha said after long minutes of uncomfortable silence. She stood up from where she had been sitting on the floor, and pulled Pepper to her feet when she took her hand from the couch. Tony stood up next. “This was nice, Steve. Thank you.” 

Nobody made any attempt to stop them, but she was glad that, even though it seemed mean to think, they could go home. It was earlier than they expected, but she didn’t want to be on Wanda’s team, or deal with Sam’s looks, or Steve’s attempts at casual, friendly touching that just made her want to hit him. No, home seemed much better. She opened the door and they all walked in. The door just shut and beeped as it locked when James walked out of the kitchen. He looked them up and down before walking closer. 

“Did something happen? You were supposed to have at least more than four hours of ‘birthday celebration’.” 

“Yeah, Clint…  _ Barton _ happened. He wanted to play ‘truth or dare’ and either Steve didn’t notice what was happening or he didn’t care, and I chose him, because that’s who I would have usually chosen a year ago, and then he took his turn to pick on Tony, so we left. He’s researching Yakov Petrovich at the moment, so maybe he’ll find whatever he wants and leave you alone. Maybe he’ll learn that you’re dangerous and leave Tony alone,” she turned to Tony, “and I’m not saying you aren’t dangerous either, I’m just saying that you aren’t outwardly dangerous, at least to them, so they underestimate you. That’s a good thing, most of the time.” 

From the kitchen, DUM-E beeped and rolled out toward them. James looked back at him. 

“Hey, can you go check up on U. You know how I taught you to stir? Can you tell your sister to do it that way? She likes you more than me,” DUM-E beeped at him, “Well she’s a teenager, of course she’s going to be moody. She doesn’t mean anything mean, she’s just, well, she’s just  _ moody _ . I’ll be right back, let me talk to your Da for just a moment, okay?” DUM-E whirred lowly before going back to the kitchen. “Sorry. They wanted to help and I can’t deny them anything. So, he has the name. That’s good. Maybe he  _ will _ back off. Sorry that it ruined things with the Avengers though… but I don’t think that any of you are too upset about that, right? Maybe Pepper can keep you company and out of the kitchen while I make your cake, Anton said surprises were good for birthdays, and Anton can help translate the kids because they’re talking to me and I have a feeling I’m not answering right.” 

“Want me to kick your ass as Mario Kart?” Pepper asked, bumping shoulders with her. Tony discreetly made his way to the kitchen with James. 

“I call dibs on Luigi.” 

“I’m Daisy,” Pepper said as she grabbed the controllers. The Wii U switched on as well as the TV. Having FRIDAY hooked to most everything was helpful. She took the controller offered to her and they got started. 

It was two hours later (that felt like twenty minutes) when Tony came out to join them. He sat beside Pepper, and was quietly watching the game for a while. Natasha noticed him out of her peripheral vision, but she was mostly focused on the game. Pepper played some mean Mario Kart, that was for sure. No matter what character and kart customization she had chosen, Pepper won with pure skill. Where she learned how to play like that, she didn’t know, but she bet it had something to do with either Tony or Extremis, maybe a bit of both. Pepper won, again. Natasha was second place (she had been third place  _ one _ time), and Pepper took the crown for winning first place each match so far. 

“What’s your secret to success?” She asked. 

“A magician should never reveal her tricks.” 

“So this is magic?” Natasha asked. 

“What else would it be?” when she looked over at Pepper, she got a wink and then Pepper set her controller in her lap. “Tony may have helped me with some bits of Extremis. That’s all I can say.” 

“Magic indeed,” Natasha said. She also set her controller down. “Everything alright, Tony?” 

“Yeah. I was eating the frosting so James kicked me from the kitchen. I did get a promise for more frosting on more interesting place for my birthday though, so that’s good. Beside that, though, I’m nervous.” 

“Why?” 

“Because…” Tony sighed. He pressed closer to Pepper’s arm. “Barton’s an idiot, and Steve’s just… well, he’s delusional to think everything’s all hunky dory. Either way, Barton has some sway over Steve, or at least he seems to have some sway, and if he decides that ‘Yakov’ is a bad guy, what’s stopping Steve from demanding to see him himself? They’ve known about him for a month and they’re anxious, and they want to meet him but… as soon as Steve sees him… Steve’s gonna want his Bucky back, but,” he paused, “ _ Bucky’s _ not there anymore. The closest thing James has mentioned about his time before the war was that he was protective and a caregiver for more than one person for a long time. That’s all that stayed, everything else, he said, was gone. Steve’s not gonna take that well, and I don’t think that conversation is gonna be, in any way, polite.” 

“Well, we’ll deal with it when we get there,” Pepper said. 

“You don’t wanna plan?” Tony asked. 

“No. This isn’t a situation to plan for. I can’t write a schedule for Rogers to follow, I can only hope to assist if I need to when it happens,” she handed him her controller, “why don’t you and Nat play while I go speak with James. Maybe she might win a match,” Pepper stood up and left to the kitchen. Tony looked at the TV. 

“She beat you with Peach?” 

“Yeah.” 

“You’re Luigi?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Well damn. I wanted to be Luigi. That’s okay though, I wonder what Pepper’s done with Peach. Just so you know, I don’t typically play video games, and I don’t know where or how Pepper learned to either. Must be FRIDAY,” they started a game of their own, and Tony, also, managed to win. Unlike Pepper, though, she was afraid of harming him. Halfway through the second match, when the scores were still on the screen (and Tony was winning), she reached over to grab his controller and he stopped her hand by her wrist. That turned into a fight, and that fight was playful at first, until they both started wanting to ‘win.’ Of course, Pepper and James walked in where there was a smash of Tony’s leg against the coffee table. They had given up on their usual fighting it seemed and were mostly just rolling on the floor, trying to pin the other down. 

“She said she wanted a competition,” she heard Pepper say. 

“FRIDAY knows to call us if any weapons are brought out. That’s grounds for dismissal from the competition, after all,” she heard James say. Pepper laughed, and then they were quiet again. 

***

The cake, some weird infusion of ‘fall flavours,’ was good, and Natasha understood why Tony had been kicked out for eating the icing (it was _ really _ good). When they finished the cake, a pretty big cake but nothing when faced against the four of them, she was taken back to the living room where the bots brought in the presents. She opened the gifts, and ended up spread out on top of James, Tony, and Pepper while they watched TV. She stared at the presents on the table and was almost uncomfortable because she hadn’t expected anything that grand. They weren’t expensive, well, some of them were, but they had  _ meaning _ . These weren’t just superficial gifts given to her because it was her birthday and they had to give her gifts, these were things that the others had put thought into. 

When the end of the day arrived, after they had all had a good time considering what had happened earlier with the Avengers, Natasha didn’t even protest being picked up and carried to her room. She looked at the couch to thank them, and she waved at James and Tony. She hadn’t expected Pepper to pick her up and take her to her room, James was protective sometimes and did that, and Tony sometimes did that so he could have an excuse to be alone with her and gossip. Pepper set her down in front of the door to her room. 

“I hope that, overall, you had fun today,” Pepper said. 

“I did. I wasn’t expecting the whole Avenger situation to go well, so I sort of had it in my mind that in the end, we’d just be spending the day together. The four of us. Oh, and the kids.” 

“Well, I’m glad you enjoyed today despite the complications,” she smiled, “I think Connor’s already inside, but if not, I’ll bring him in before I go to sleep.” Pepper kissed her cheek, “Good night.” 

“Yeah, good night,” Pepper walked away and Natasha walked into her room. Pepper was going to kill her with attention and affection, and it would such a pleasant death. She dozed, not really  _ sleeping _ , and sure enough Pepper brought Connor in hours later. Connor hopped up on the bed and curled up between her cheek and shoulder. She didn’t even mind because he was warm and soft. She reached up to pet him. It was a good day. 


	19. Tony's POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The date, and James' arm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, the last chapter, well, I didn't post any end notes and hardly any beginning notes, but to be fair, I was exhausted. 
> 
> Now, I'm currently writing chapter twenty-six and... I'm not sure if any of the chapters after maybe twenty-two are what I had originally intended. I didn't outline this as thoroughly as I usually do, I hardly outlined this at all, actually, and I think that the way it's sort of all over the place is obvious. To be fair, some of my best fics are disconnected, but they get written, since the outlines typically take up most of my time because I can't do anything right. 
> 
> I'm not sure. I feel like the fight between the Avengers and Tony's crew is sort of underwhelming, and then I had this idea last night and I've incorporated it, something I realized *after* I wrote the chapter, and now I don't want to delete it because I'm not sure where to take it after, but... I mean, it makes some sense. I could see them doing this, but at the same time, I think it's weird because it seems so unconnected to the rest of the story. I don't know, if anyone has any ideas as to what happens next or what you would like to see, I'm open to suggestions. I'm not sure where I've gone with this, but I feel like this entire story is sort of all over the place and I don't like that. 
> 
> But because of my distress, you get an extra chapter, so there's that.

Tony’s POV

When Natasha came home on Tuesday after her date with Pepper, Tony was waiting for her. He was doodling on a notepad at the table in the kitchen. He looked up at her when she walked into the room. 

“How did it go?” 

“Fine,” she said. That didn’t sound ‘fine,’ it didn’t even sound ‘okay’ or ‘decent.’ 

“What happened?” He asked. Natasha sighed and sat down across from him, her shoulders unusually hunched as she propped herself up on her elbows. He wanted to pet her hair because she looked so sad. She and Pepper had been getting along, what was this sadness for? 

“Well… it started off good. She said her day had been boring and long… somehow the topic changed to more unpleasant topics. Stupid Avengers. We tried to stay away from that topic, but they are kind of an important part of our lives. They’re everywhere. Anyway, the conversation spiraled from the Avengers into actual shit, and somehow I think Pepper likes me less than she disliked me when I spied on you. So… I think I’m gonna get some tea, read some erotica, and ruin some punching bags.” 

“Oh… alright. Well, if you want to spar, you know where I’ll be.” 

“Yeah,” she stood up, “thanks Antosha.” 

“Anytime, Tasha.” She left the room, forgetting about the tea apparently. He heard her footsteps grow fainter and fainter and he sat back in his chair. 

Now, Tony loved his friends, he loved them more than most, but what possessed them to talk about the worst possible topic for normal people, which was even worse because they had to deal with it at home? Why? The Avengers had no business being in their conversations. They needed to talk about something they both liked, like murdering the foolish or something.  _ Not _ the Avengers. Never the Avengers! From what Natasha said, she made it sound like Pepper had brought the Avengers up, but maybe it was all just a miscommunication? Pepper was always exaggerating what ‘good communication’ did for people, but maybe… 

Maybe, Natasha and Pepper should just be friends, maybe he should just give up matchmaking. Maybe he just should scrap the years worth of ideas for an awesome wedding for his two favourite women and just accept that they just weren’t… compatible? 

But they were! They were so perfect for each other that Tony wanted to rip his hair out. He was so sure they would be good for one another. Natasha needed help with communication, but she could be extremely loyal (even though she didn’t seem like it, she was), and Pepper could help with the communication part, and she needed some stability. The kind that Natasha could offer! He took a deep breath and then he dropped his head against the table. The table shook a bit with the collision and he groaned. He sat there for at  _ least _ ten minutes (his phone that said it had only been forty-five seconds was lying). But, he couldn’t just pine on behalf of the girls so he got up and went back to the workshop. James was already there, reading on the couch in the back. DUM-E had managed to bully Tony into buying a tennis ball machine, so he had been waiting for that to be shipped over. Tony have very deliberately had two day shipping because if DUM-E got it as soon as he wanted it, he wouldn’t learn about delayed gratification. So, DUM-E was beeping at James and trying to get him to throw the ball for him. It had gotten bad over the past day, so James had offered to let U stir the batter for the next cake if she would distract DUM-E and play fetch with him. 

Tony was absolutely, irrefutably  _ not _ jealous that James got along with the kids so well. He was jealous that they liked James more than him sometimes, but he knew that they were very interested in James’ arm, and he had heard U talking about James being half machine and half like them more than once. She had also mentioned that James was their robot father because Tony was their human father. Tony had been both uncomfortable and pleased because it was so adorable, but also… that just seemed like a weird thing for U to be thinking about. 

“Everything go alright with Natasha?” James asked, flipping a page and then holding his thumb between the spine. 

“It’s like Han Solo and Leia because they’re so perfect and adorable together, but it’s also like Anakin and Padme because holy shit, they have a ton of issues and they’re both awkward about it. I never thought I’d see the day that both Natasha and Pepper were genuinely awkward in each other’s presence. That, not once, was a possibility in my brain, and there were a lot of possible outcomes I planned for.” 

“Maybe you shouldn’t force this. Just, maybe, let them kinda glide together on their own. If they’re ‘perfect’ together, they’ll figure it out without our help.” 

“But… okay. Let’s try that. And if something bad happens, it’s not on me.” 

“What could happen?” 

“Oh, don’t even jinx it like that. Seriously, it’s Pepper, the most powerful woman in the world, and Natasha, the most notable assassin of our time, after you of course. They’re both plenty capable of setting the world on fire, on  _ accident _ . What could they do if they actually  _ tried _ ? Great things -- terrible, yes -- but great.” 

“Okay,  _ Ollivander _ . I think you’re thinking too deeply about this, but whatever you say.” 

“Sassed in my own home.” 

“You love it.” 

“I do,” Tony went back to his desk to work on the arm. He had half-finished James’ prosthetic arm. The one made with a mix of adamantium and just about anything else he could find that would work with it. It had a tendency to just… decimate the other metals added to it, so he had to scrap a lot of stuff. Thankfully, he had a lot of money to use to buy more. On the other hand, he had a leg for Connor that he was making. It was going to be coated with a thin layer of synthetic-skin just to keep the plates on the leg from catching his fir or pinching him. That wasn’t made of adamantium, but rather some lighter metals that won’t cause an allergic reaction when against Connor’s skin (more like chemical burns, really. Like when nickel turns the skin it comes into contact with green). That one was nearly finished, but he had yet to find a way to get it wired to move with Connor’s nerves like he had done when he remade the socket for James’ new arm. (Everytime he thought about HYDRA taking apart his masterpiece and causing James pain just because they could, made him want to personally drop everything and hunt down every HYDRA member until they were nothing but dust). 

He was in the middle of attaching the plates to the base of the arm he had made. He had added the power source in the upper arm already, an arc reactor (because his family got the best he had to offer), and there was an improved motor that could be used much like the one he had made decades ago to exert more force than a typical super soldier (you knew your life was weird when you could group your super soldiers in groups like ‘odd’ or ‘typical’) could. That also would help with internal temperature regulation because he was just that good. He finished attaching the plates to the upper arm. He now had to finish the forearm and hand. He had the socket attached to the nerves (that was a pain to do, but thankfully, Natasha knew anatomy as well as he did. Also, he had come into contact with the original socket, and had the original blueprints nearly memorized. It wasn’t too hard to install, but he felt bad because there was no anesthesia that could actually numb the pain, and they couldn’t put him to sleep, so he was awake and felt all the little cuts and arrangements he made to connect the socket. He would kill anyone who tried to take that off, his Soldier would never have to feel that sort of discomfort and pain ever again), and since the nerves were attached to the socket, he had to make sure they would transfer from the socket to the arm. That was easier than actually attaching the socket, so he had done that first, just to make sure it was done. The upper arm was attached to the lower arm, and the signals would be sent almost as if it were his organic arm. 

Since Tony was busy perfecting this arm, he didn’t realize the time. He heard James move, but he didn’t look back to see what was going on. He had almost finished plating the forearm. The hand, though, was going to be tougher since there were far more plates than the forearm or upper arm, and they were also a lot smaller. They could move almost like skin, but they were far more durable than skin. He still had to sand those plates down and make them smooth. They were still in the casts he had poured the adamantium mixture into, and he was waiting to pull those out until they were the last thing he needed to add. He left the front of the hand and just an inch of two of the top of the wrist bare. The back of the hand was made up of bigger plates, but still smaller than the others. 

“Here,” James set a cup down on the side of the table, giving Tony enough room to work without knocking it over. He set some food down. “Take a break? You’ve been working for seven hours.” 

“That long? I didn’t even notice,” he moved the arm to the side, and rolled his chair to the corner of the table. “You really do spoil me, just so you know.” 

“Oh, I know.” 

“You ate, too, though, right?” 

“Yeah. Caught Pepper in the kitchen, too. She’s a mess, and I’m not entirely sure why. Maybe you should go talk to her?” 

“I thought you said no meddling.” 

“I did, but this isn’t meddling, this is comfort. Go make sure she’s alright, I didn’t want to push her, but she can’t deny you anything. Give her a hug for me, alright?” Tony nodded, standing up. He pulled the folded sheet from the side drawer and draped it over the arm he was working on. He kissed James’ cheek and took the sandwich with him. (He finished his sandwich on the walk upstairs. To be fair, he didn’t realize he was hungry until food was presented.)

When he got to the kitchen, he saw Pepper hunched over the countertop. Her arms were fully extended, but her neck and head were dropped low. He walked around the counter. 

“Hey, Pep,” he said, reaching out to touch her shoulder. She didn’t flinch away, so he didn’t pull away. “What’s wrong?” 

“I’m frustrated.” 

“Yeah, yeah, you look like it. Did something happen at work or is this…?” 

“Something about Natasha?” He nodded in answer, but she couldn’t see him, she was facing away from him. She responded anyway. “It’s a bit of both, actually.” 

“Do you want to talk about it?” 

“Did she tell you anything?” 

“Something came up about the Avengers.” 

“Yeah,” she sighed, “yeah, that’s what happened.” 

Tony, as gently as he could, guided Pepper towards the table and sat her down before taking the chair across from her. It was his very own therapy desk, and he was the therapist apparently. She sighed, and he waited, as quietly and patiently as he could. Which, in this case, meant he was very quiet and still. 

“What was it?” 

“Did you know that they have been looking for you? Well, Nephila?” He shook his head because, no, it hadn’t come up. He had thought they burnt that bridge and moved onto the next best thing, whatever it was that they got from ‘deciphering’ cryptic messages that didn’t actually exist outside of their determined minds. “Well, they are. The worst thing, though, is that they have been badgering Natasha into trying to help them while we’re not looking. She mentioned that it was just Barton bothering her at first, about Yasha. Then, it was Rogers, trying to get more information on your relationship in general, and now they’ve sent the witch after her. She’s… I’m not upset with her, it may have come across that way, but the fact that she’s being treated like you were, and I am almost entirely helpless to stop it, just like with you… I think when I had to cut it short, she felt hurt. I mean, I’m good when I’m under pressure by stupid rich men who want to talk to you, I can put my foot down, I can do that well, but… I don’t know what to do, I don’t know how to help at all. It’s like watching you fumble and accept the abuse as if it was just normal, as if you deserved it, but it’s… it’s different, and I went back to the office so FRIDAY and I could talk some things over. I thought about calling, but… I’m honestly nervous to do so. I’ve checked my office, you have plenty of things to keep everything secure, but I’m  _ anxious _ . I-I-I…” she sighed and dropped her head onto one hand in a semi-facepalm but holding herself up on her elbow. “I didn’t go into this thinking I would care this much, but we can’t just help you and let her be a harassed in your stead.” 

“Well, there’s two things I think would help. One, talking with her, communicating, will probably ease both of your nerves, because she came home and… yeah, she really did think you were upset with her. And two, I think we should just give them a better target. If they think Natasha’s on their side, and I’m not being childish with the ‘sides’ thing (they started this!), then they would stop badgering her. Bad news, though, is I’m typically an easier/better target. Before you say no, just, think. If she feeds them wrong information that they assume is correct, then she will be helping us, and I know to just take their words with a grain of salt. I have you, I have Natasha, I have James, I have all my kids; I’ll be fine. Natasha, not saying she’s sensitive in a bad way, is like how I used to be. Taking their words to heart, even if she doesn’t realize she is, which is also what happened.” 

“Am I a bad person for wanting them gone? Permanently? There has got to be more, better super people that can protect the world. We don’t have to have the Avengers, we just need safety, and I’m sorry, but the Avengers Initiative needs to be scrapped.” 

Tony stood up and walked around the table, “I’ll look into it, and I can have FRIDAY send you everything we find. Now, you go talk it out,” he took a few steps back, “but first give me a hug.” She shook her head and wiped the tears gathering at the corners of her eyes. Her mascara really was waterproof, and so was her eyeliner apparently. She stood up and hugged him, resting her head on his shoulder. “Are you wearing the knife heels?” 

“Yes.” 

“Good. I knew I wasn’t  _ that _ short a few hours ago,” she pulled away and kissed above his ear before walking away. Her heels clicked, and he was trying to think of how she would be able to kick someone in such a tight pencil skirt. They would have to talk about making a badass spy uniform for her. Like Natasha’s. He was still working on the fabric, but it was already forming together as a ton of ideas in his mind. He walked back down to the workshop. He answered the few questions James had (‘is she alright?’, ‘will she be okay?’, and ‘how did you handle that so quickly?’, not in that order) before settling back at his actual desk and deciding he needed to get to sanding those little plates down. There was not too much more to do for the arm. He was going to see if James wanted it ‘inked’ (aka, if he wanted him to paint the star on or not). 

He was once again interrupted by James. 

“So close to finishing it!” 

“And it will be here when you come back,” James wrapped his arms around Tony’s waist. That was cheating! How could Tony deny him affection and tender contact? He couldn’t, and James knew that. (Thankfully, James also respected him working for hours without getting irritated with him. Tony liked to think that James knew how important the things he did were or could be.) “How about this, you can take a nap, and then I’ll make you as much coffee as you want within a reasonable limit. Sound good? I promise I won’t put too much sugar in it again.” 

“How about this,  _ we _ take a nap, and then  _ I’ll _ make us coffee, and you can let me finish your arm and then let me put it on so that we can see if I need to add or remove anything. Do we have a deal?” 

“ _ Konechno _ (of course).” 

***

“Tony,” Steve said in greeting, “where’s Natasha?” 

“She’s busy. Pepper needed some help and Natasha was  _ voluntold _ to assist.” That was a lie. She had volunteered before Pepper had even finished her request. But Steve didn’t know he was lying to him, or that Natasha and Pepper had made up and were currently as sickenly sweet as he was sure he and James could be. 

He had actually gone to the main common room to snoop since the witch was ‘out’ with  _ Vision _ (or so she said. His son was missing and he refused to believe the witch was innocent in his disappearance since she was lying about it). Barton had gone to a not-so-dead Fury for information on ‘Yakov Sokolov,’ and Sam had gone to the VA for his counseling groups and the few appointments he had individually. (He still thought that Sam wasn’t a terrible guy, he just had faith in the wrong people.) He hadn’t even thought he’d run into Steve, since the man always seemed busy in the gym or sitting in his room staring at pictures of Bucky. 

Steve hadn’t caught him with too much, though. He had found the file on the Winter Soldier that had been marked up with different colour markers and pens (which he quickly put away without actually  _ reading _ it), but what Steve had caught him with was a fake passport of Barton’s and a falsified American Identification card for Maximoff. 

“What’s that? There, in your hands?” 

“Oh, I was just looking for my spare pozidriv screwdriver. DUM-E decided the other one was talking shit, so he threw it away. He was pretty remorseful, but then again, when you get in trouble, remorse tends to be the first reaction. Anyway, yeah, I could have sworn I left it--?” He turned back around, and dug around in the drawer some more before dropping the IDs back inside and moving to the next drawer. He was surprised he didn’t get a small ‘language!’ because he said ‘shit.’ They were adults, maybe Sam managed to convince Steve that some words weren’t as bad as others. 

He didn’t find it there either. He tried the fifth and last drawer. There was no screwdriver anywhere. What the hell? He hadn’t been lying entirely, he did have a screwdriver here, it was a philips head because he doubted the Avengers needed anything different, but Steve wouldn’t know the difference (they were actually semi-interchangeable, so he could have used one of the million philips head screwdrivers from his workshop, but that was another thing Steve didn’t know), and he had a ton of philips head screwdrivers so that was stupid to have to come into the other parts of the compound for something he had a ton of. “Apparently I left it somewhere else because it’s not here,” he turned back around to Steve, “have you seen it?” 

“I haven’t seen any screwdrivers around here. We don’t really need them with Wanda and Vision, but maybe I can help you look?” 

“Sure.” 

Steve came over to him, and he started moving through the room, turning drawers inside out, all while moving his eyes quickly over anything slightly important. He would have to come back later for that USB, and he would have to also see if he could pick up those stray taser disks he had made for Natasha. Why were those even here? They should be secure on her widow bites, and they hadn’t been used, they were still glowing blue. That was suspicious, but he passed on. Steve picked up a screwdriver. 

“This?” 

“Yep!” he plucked the screwdriver from Steve’s hand. “But while I’m here, can I speak with you for a moment?” 

“Yeah, of course.” Steve moved and sat down in a chair. He sat on the couch in front of hte TV. “What’s wrong? Did something happen? Did you--?” 

“No. Nothing happened, and I didn’t do anything wrong. I was just wondering if you could let Vision know I miss him. I haven’t seen him, and FRIDAY can’t get a hold of him so I’m just worried that maybe he got hurt trying to fix my mistakes,” how it pained him to say that, but that what the witch told them, so that’s what he was supposed to know. “Wanda’s lost so many people, and I don’t want her to lose her friend so soon, ya know?” That was also hard to say, but he knew he was decent at lying, and playing on Steve’s sympathy and dislike for him was good. Sympathy because Wanda; dislike because he made ‘mistakes.’ 

“I’ll let him know as soon as I see him…” 

“Alright. That’s all I needed. You know, playing fetch and running into things isn’t good for their wheels, but they’re just so happy, so how can I deny them their fun? Well, thanks. I’ll bring it back when I get a new one. That’ll probably be a day, maybe less. I don’t really know,” he shook his head as he was walking away, “shipping companies are getting slower and slower despite being paid more and more.” That was a lie as far as he knew, but there was no way Steve could get too much information from any reliable sources, nobody would admit their delivery time was slower and the price was more, and that didn’t seem like something Steve would focus on. 

“Who plays fetch with them?” 

“Oh, well, it was Yasha for a while, but then DUM-E managed to persuade me to get him a machine to do it for him. Teaching robots to put things back where they belong is harder than you would imagine.” Tony was walking away but then Steve was coming closer again. He kept a steady pace. 

“How is everything with Yasha going, by the way? Just curious. Clint said he couldn’t find all that much, but we are asking Fury to check it out, just to make sure you and Natasha are safe. Was he trained with the Black Widows? Did they have a different program?” 

“Things are fine, good actually. Uh, I’m not sure. He doesn’t really like talking about his past, and when he does it usually just ends with him watching Terminator 2 or a baking spree. He’s good at that, by the way, his coffee cake is really good. I mean, like blow your load sort of good. You know what I’m talking about,” he would never say ‘blow your load’ seriously, or at least he hoped he’d never say that, but bringing up anything sex related, even if it wasn’t actually a sex-based discussion, would have Cap cringing and backing away with a half-assed excuse. Steve didn’t go away, though, and Tony kept walking despite this. He didn’t want Steve to follow him to his door though because if he saw a glimpse of James, he could recognize him, or grow more interested and that was not a good thing. 

“Yeah. Right. Uh, anyway, does his past make him that upset? I really am sorry about that incident. It was rude, and I’m sorry. I won’t do it again,” the ‘without encouragement or ‘proof’ that you’re doing something wrong’ went unsaid. Tony was sure if Steve thought he was saying the truth, or if he heard the silent disclaimer. Whatever, Steve was always on the dumber side. Not his fault, entirely, since he was raised in the forties, is stuck in the forties, dropped out of high school, and spent his entire adult life being catered to because he got a fancy serum. Actually, he could probably learn now, but he was stuck in ‘simpler times.’ 

“His past is something we don’t talk about often, but like I said, when it is brought up, he retreats into himself. Thankfully, he doesn’t hate me for my own indiscretions, so that’s nice, “they were getting closer to the hallway, he stepped into the kitchen, “you know what? Now that I’m thinking about it, he mentioned Department X once, but I haven’t looked into that all that much, but maybe that can help you in your search for his past. If he is a crazy maniac, please let me know. I try to keep those to a minimum, so it’d be better for everyone all around.” 

“Department X? Like Karpov?” 

“I don’t know who ‘Karpov’ is.” 

“Well, he’s dead now, but nevermind. That was helpful. Department X, then. I should probably go now, uh, have a good rest of your day.” Steve clapped him on the shoulder and walked away. Tony made a beeline for his door. He slammed it shut behind him, which didn’t really do much since it had a lock that made it close automatically and no matter how hard he pushed, it would work against him. That wasn’t important though! He, first, needed to get Natasha to stop their informant while he covers, the other way around, or he should get started on the rest of ‘Yasha’s’ history. 

He ended up convincing Natasha to kill the informant in exchange for on James’ birthday. It wasn’t his fault that they walked in a really nice blowjob, but to be fair it was  _ his _ workshop and they didn’t even knock or have FRIDAY inform them that they were on their way down to see them. The girls seemed to be under the impression they would be fucking on every surface of the house for James’ birthday… he can’t say they were entirely wrong, but also, he and James did tend to keep it in remote places that neither of the girls visited often, well, after the first time anyway. 

For a deal, that was pretty good. Honestly, he thought Natasha was just upset that their was another spy in Russia selling secrets to SHIELD, and also, she wanted to cut Barton off because boy was she upset with him. The mutual dislike between him and Steve didn’t compare to the icy fury that Natasha held for Barton. That was going to be one hell of a fight (and he was betting on Natasha winning, all the way). Since the informant was scheduled for execution, he got to go back and finish the star on James’ shoulder. (He was very happy that James wanted the star, because  _ he _ had added that, he was the one who did that first.) Since James (read: Tony hugging James) smeared the paint the first time, he had to wash it off and re-paint. 

Seeing James with the newly designed arm was a good thing to see when he got to the workshop. He set the screwdriver on the desk and looked at where James was taking apart a small TV with a built-in VHS player. Yeah, he thought that would be the best first thing for him to reconstruct. James enjoyed it, and had already vowed to take apart an actual VHS player and then a DVD player, and Tony couldn’t deny James the possibility to learn anything. 

“You ready to paint the arm?” 

“Yeah,” James used his foot to put the big portion of the TV to the side, and setting the box of parts at his side on the floor. “Okay, I’m ready.” 

“You won’t smear it this time.” 

“You mean  _ you _ won’t smear it this time,” James just smiled at Tony’s pout while he gathered the paint and the brush. He had already sketched out the star, it was already there. It was in red, and that had dried earlier (after he had washed the smudged paint off). He sat down and started his painting. The paint was glossy, and when Tony finished painting it this time around, he purposely moved back to his desk. James was right, he wasn’t about to smear it this time. 

“So, for your birthday, in March, Natasha and Pepper have decided they are giving us the house, and they will go to Europe for a few meetings about spreading SI, or at least Pepper will, but Natasha is keeping her company.” 

“Does this have anything to do when they walked in the workshop two days ago?” 

“More than likely, yeah.” 

“Well, that’s still three months away,” James stood up. “And when this dries, well,  _ that _ desk,” he pointed the ‘Dish Cemetery,’ “can definitely be cleaned up.” 

“I thought you were going to say something sexy… but you’re right, I don’t even want to know how long some of those mugs have been there.” 

“Well, if it’s cleaned up then we get to mess it up all over again.” 

“I’ll start cleaning,” Tony ignored James’ laughter. “But you stay still and let that dry. I got this… DUM-E, U, help me clean this up, please.” So Tony decided he would invest in some sort of cabinet for mugs because travelling required three trips, and that was when Tony decided to have DUM-E and U hold a box for him to put the dishes in because he didn’t want to have to carry them all individually. When he came down the third time he found James’ poking at his star. 

“It’s dry.” 

“Lemme see,” he poked the star, and it didn’t come off on his finger. “Magic?” 

“Is that what you want to talk about right now?” 

“Nope. The desk’s this way.” James chuckled as he followed Tony to the desk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are lifeblood, in case you didn't know, and kudos and bookmarks are the second most important thing in life. (The first is ignoring that Avengers Endgame happened - and I still haven't watched it because no. It didn't happen and if I don't watch it, I don't need to see some of what I've heard. Oh, but also sour punch straws.)


	20. James' POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The birthday reveal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this starts as some sex, but then it's pretty much fluff afterward. The sex part wasn't long, and I didn't mark it. It's not *too* graphic, but just a warning. 
> 
> Also, in the end notes, I have a link for anyone who wants to brainstorm about this story, or other winteriron ideas.

James POV

It was March. Currently, it was the tenth, the day that Anton said was his birthday. He hardly remembered it, the date was definitely going to slip from his mind as soon as the month ended, but in ways of birthdays, the memories from his ‘Bucky days’ didn’t seem to be much of too much special. His family was there, little Stevie was there, but that was all. He couldn’t remember what they said, or much of anything beside remembering that he liked having all his family around him, including Stevie. Of course, he was different now, and so was ‘Stevie.’ He still wanted his family around, his  _ new _ family, but he understood both Pepper and Natasha semi-vacation to Europe. He was sure the actual meetings were in two places, one in England, and the other was in Denmark. He didn’t know why those places, but those were the countries he heard spoken of. 

The girls had been gone for three and a half-ish days, having left on Monday, and it now being Thursday morning, he and Anton hadn’t used the house as Anton predicted. There was no crazy sex on every available surface (and some that just seemed odd and uncomfortable). In fact, they hadn’t had sex at all. They’d been too busy watching TV and eating take out. Anton said he wasn’t allowed to work or do anything he didn’t want to do, and while James was usually busy doing things around just to feel useful, or watching Anton work and playing with the kids or reading (or the few occasions he was tearing things apart to see what was inside), he was also content to just go back to how it had been in the beginning. In the beginning, of course, he and Anton weren’t pressed against each other, but the impersonal activity of watching TV was similar. They had just finished  _ The Fifth Element _ . 

“That was good. In my… top… five? Yes, top five.” 

“Yep, top ten for sure.” 

“You know what I just realized?” James asked. He looked at where Anton was settled under his left arm. Tony was looking up at him. “You’re wearing my shirt.” 

“It took you that long to realize it? I’ve been wearing your shirt since seven, it’s eleven now.” 

“Well, I noticed it now, but what I noticed about my shirt is that you’d look just as nice without it on.” 

“Is that a really lame way to ask for sex, because I’m totally down for just about _ anything _ just about  _ anywhere _ . Triple that statement’s truth when it’s you,” Anton smiled at him, and slipped from under his arm and straddled his thighs. “But I can definitely take my shirt off, no matter what’s going on, for you.” Anton slipped the shirt off and tossed it to the chair to the right. He leaned forward to kiss Anton. As always, Anton’s skilled tongue managed to take control. He wasn’t entirely sure why kissing was attractive, but he did like it, although he had little comprehensive reasons  _ why _ . It seemed peculiar in abstract, but in practice it was nice. 

The past three months were followed by more ‘team bonding’ and when Anton came home, he was always filled with new stories that made James dislike the others more. He hoped that the stories were exaggerations, but they were usually spot on when he asked FRIDAY for recordings or even when Rogers called and was put on speaker in the workshop, the things he said. The way he seemed to think he deserved everything Anton could give without paying him back in any way. This wasn’t limited to money. No. Information, consideration, respect, and human decency all fell under that category of what Rogers was willing to take but not willing to give in return. He hadn’t pushed for anything, perfectly content to fade into the background while Anton worked, or to be there to take care of him because Anton didn’t seem to be as vain or diva like as people liked to think since he hardly took care of himself, his looks included, unless he had to show himself to people outside his home, which was more often than not. 

So, now that Anton had spent the past three days on his own ‘vacation’ from the Avengers, he and James had all the time to spend together, or however Anton needed or wanted to spend his time. James had checked in to see how Rogers was doing each day, and from the agitated state that Rogers seemed to be stuck in for the past week, he was glad Anton was with him and not out there in enemy territory without backup. 

Not saying they didn’t spend time together, because they did. There were breaks between the long stretches of being ‘asked’ (forced) to attend ‘team meetings,’ and they found comfort in those, but it had been a month and a half until Rogers let Anton out of his grip enough for Anton to not feel obligated to assist in fulfilling his every wish. (James hadn’t been entirely sure with the original plan to kill the Avengers, but now that the plan was scrapped -- and now that the ‘schedule’ was more routine than actual necessity -- he felt the dislike and desire to hurt them grow every day.) So, when they did have moments, even the small ones, he tried to let Anton know that he was there, that he didn’t have to take care of every single desire of every single person except himself. That’s why making sure he got some sleep, or something to drink that wasn’t coffee or bringing him tea, or just small touches to let him know that he was there physically was so important. 

But beside all that emotional stuff, the sex was good, when it happened. That was the easiest simplification of it. And, when it came to sex, there were gentle moments, those were nice, and there were the not-so-gentle moments. While James didn’t have a real preference, from the insistent tug on his jeans (he had started wearing ‘normal’ clothes that went beyond sweatpants, sweaters and gun holsters) he had an idea of what Anton wanted, and he couldn’t deny Anton anything. Anton pulled back and kicked off his lounge pants and James removed his boots and jeans. Moments after he kicked the fabric away, Anton was back against him, and the gentle movements of calloused hands once again brushed against his skin, moving with caution close to hesitance, that was contrasted by the demanding kisses he received as well. 

He moved Anton, placing him against the couch where he had been, and settling between his legs, knees on the floor. He was drawn to the arc reactor, but he knew better than to place his hands too close, and from Anton’s slouch, he had plenty of skin to explore. That didn’t last long, though, because Anton was holding his shoulders, and pulling him to his feet. 

“Lube in the top right drawer.” 

In all honesty, James didn’t want to know when or why that lube got there, although, it was a fleeting thought that Anton had expected this and prepared accordingly (for someone people said typically rushed into things, he was surprisingly thorough and meticulous when he did plan). Anton lifted his hips and allowed James to pull his briefs down. 

“You realize we could always turn so you could be on the couch too, right?” 

“Yes, but I’m at a perfect height here,” James pulled Anton closer by his right calf. Anton didn’t respond, but to be fair, James had started to stretch him open, so he wasn’t too worried. Speaking of not-so-gentle sex, though, that difference did have them moving faster than the few times James did this, where he spread Anton out and tried to appreciate every part of him, but this worked too. He slid his briefs off, and once Anto deemed himself ready (and once James agreed with him) James grabbed his hips, and lined himself up. 

The way that, due to the somewhat unusual position they found themselves in, Anton had wrapped an arm around James’ shoulders to keep himself leveraged somehow, and had the other hand holding the couch cushion, wasn’t the most comfortable, but he assumed it was even less comfortable for Anton. Anton’s fingers ended up curling, and he had dull nails raking across his shoulder blades, and Anton made such fulfilling noises. There was a sound from behind them, but he dismissed it. Connor didn’t like the living room all too much unless Natalia was there to pet him, and he had tried to stop being paranoid. He didn’t want to dig too deep in placing everyone in the compound because he wanted to focus on Anton explicitly. 

There was another non-Anton sound, but when he moved his head to the side, Anton absently cradled his cheek and forced him to look at him. Yeah, that was better than worrying over what was most likely nothing. 

James reached up, holding Anton’s wrist with his metal hand, and turned his head to kiss Anton’s palm. Thankfully, when his attention sometimes strayed (as Anton called being hypervigilant despite being safe, thanks PTSD), Anton didn’t get offended, but he always brought his attention back to him, and James appreciated that greatly. When Anton’s hand moved to his shoulder, now relying on him to hold him, and his legs to keep him drawn closer to him, he pulled Anton’s right leg up higher and shifted just a bit. One of Anton’s hand slid up from his shoulder into his hair where he pulled. James really liked when he did that. 

It really was an awkward angle, perhaps he should have done as Anton suggested and moved them both to the couch. Either way, he kept Anton’s leg up by pinning it with his bicep as he moved to wrap a lubed, metal hand to stroke Anton’s cock. He had been nervous of the joints causing some unpleasant pinches, but his hand was articulated in so many spots, and fit together so flawlessly that it was as gentle as real skin. It was another one of the wonderful things that Anton created, a masterpiece he had been chosen to wear (and he loved how it was made for him specifically because Anton wanted him to not ache all the time. The care he put into making his arm was… it was beyond what he had ever hoped to have ever again, after HYDRA). 

It was so good, and then, the front door flew inside the room. He  _ knew _ he had heard something! He hadn’t been paranoid this time. No, this time it really was someone. 

“T-Tony?!” 

“No, you stay back!” Anton looked over where he could see above his shoulder, and then Anton slouched back. “It’s Rogers, if you’re curious…  leave, get out of here, Steve!” Anton flipped his hand at the door, and a moment later, from the irritated huff behind him, he doubted Rogers hadn’t done as Anton asked. 

“Buck?” 

“Back up Steve. Back the fuck up! Take another step and you’ll wish you died back in the war,” Anton said. He took that as a cue to grab his shirt (the one Anton had been wearing earlier) from the chair. He pulled out and away, and draped the shirt over Anton’s body. Now, he knew his face looked cold, indifferent. He had been trained very well, and he also knew that if he was going to express any true emotion, it would probably be rage. It wasn’t because this interrupted them, it was because how dare Rogers _ break the door down _ and invade Anton’s privacy like that? He pulled his briefs up. From the wary look Anton gave him, then his rage was understood despite the lack of typical tells most people displayed. 

“What the hell Tony? That’s… that’s  _ Bucky _ !” 

Anton pulled James’ shirt on over his shoulders and crossed his arms. 

“Sure, but even he doesn’t like being interrupted mid-fuck, so what exactly convinced you to break my door down?” 

“I-i-it’s…” James stood up from where he had been. 

“It’s what?” He asked. Apparently, Rogers hadn’t been expecting him to comment at all if his eyebrows and blush were anything to go by. 

“It’s the tenth. I just… when did you get here? How do you know Tony?” something shifted, “Tony,” was said with loathing dripping from his lips, “How did _ you _ find him? How do you  _ know _ him? What did you  _ do _ to him? Bucky wouldn’t just… just…Team meeting. Now. You can come, too, if you’re okay with that, that is, uh, Buck.” 

“I’m not going to let him go into the lion’s den alone, now am I?” James handed Anton his lounge pants from where they rested half on the coffee table, half on the floor. Anton dressed quickly and soon they were following Rogers out their broken doorway. Anton squeezed his hand. Hard. He took that as an attempt to calm him, but why did he need to be calm? This was so very wrong in so many ways! They walked into the common room of the residential building. James had Anton behind him upon entering the room, his metal arm was pushed back to take the place of his flesh hand. He finally got to get a clear, in-person look at the most of them. At least, where they could see him as well. 

“Is this Yasha? He looks sorta familiar…” Barton says. “Is he a porn star?” 

“Sort of, but I doubt he was a porn star… were you ever a porn star, James?” 

“No.” 

James took a seat in the chair he was sure Rogers wanted to sit since he had been aiming for it as they walked. He had first gone to stand beside the witch to watch them enter, and before he could get to his seat, James took it from him, pulling Anton down with him. He wrapped his arms around Anton’s waist. 

“Well, there you have it. He was never a porn star,” Anton rested his head back against his shoulder, “but, I mean, that could definitely change. At least amateur videos, I think I have decent filming equipment, we could just--” 

“Why didn’t you tell us that you found him?” Rogers asked, cutting Anton off. 

“He didn’t want you to know.” 

“Why would he want that?” Rogers was practically shouting. James was good at hiding things, but he wanted to just reach out and strangle him. “Why would  _ you _ want that?” The question was very clearly directed at him since he seemed to decide that Anton’s presence wasn’t nearly as important as his good ol’ pal. 

“Because I’m not the person you remember, and I was perfectly comfortable remaining hidden. Why did you think it was okay to break down  _ Tony’s _ door?” It felt weird calling him ‘Tony.’ “What gave you the idea that behaviour like that was in any way acceptable?” 

“You don’t understand,” Steve said, his arms reaching out to gesture, “he’s dangerous.” 

“In case you forgot, so am I.” 

“But that wasn’t because you  _ wanted _ to be dangerous, you were tortured, we understand that. It wasn’t your fault. How did you meet -- when, ya know, HYDRA fell, were you sent to Tony? What happened? This is a safe space, right? Yes, it is. Why didn’t you trust me?” 

“I was dangerous before I was sold to HYDRA, actually. I don’t think you’d like to know who --  _ what _ \-- I am  _ Stevie _ . And Tony?” it still felt odd not calling him what he had always known him as, “he and Natalia found me when I was on the verge of shattering, when I was running and hiding the best I could. They  _ saved _ me. What have you done? I mean, beside waste resources following false leads from faulty information? Resources, I might add, that are not really yours.” 

“You don’t know what you’re saying… You’ve been brainwashed. You don’t need to prote--” 

“He didn’t do anything to me!” Rogers flinched, “At least nothing I didn’t want him to do. And, what you walked in on, did it really look like he was forcing  _ me _ to do anything? In case your forgot, it’s sort of my birthday, and I can’t even spend it with my lover without you dragging us out of our  _ home _ to parade before you and your circus.” 

“But… you  _ lied _ . You, Tony, you lied to us, after you promised you wouldn’t. Never again after what you did, and now you… are you trying to hurt me? Just so you know, you won, I’m hurt. Just, let him go, he didn’t do anything wrong, he was just… he wasn’t in his right mind when he--” Rogers clamped his mouth shut. 

“When he what?” 

“When he killed you parents,” Barton said. “I mean, you’re sleeping with him right? Well, if you wanted to sleep with a mass murderer and high profile assassin who managed to kill your parents before were even legal, then you can just cross that off your bucket-list.” 

“That wasn’t how we planned on telling him,” Rogers looked upset with Barton, but if he had someone as tactless as that on his ‘mighty team’ then he would be pretty upset too. “But that still doesn’t tell us why or how you know him. How you know he’s not just using you--” 

“Excuse me?  _ James _ using me?” Anton seemed extremely offended, which was understandable given how protective Anton could get on top of an accusation that he was anything like the Avengers. “What about you using me? All of you. James takes care of me, but what do any of  _ you _ do? What do you do beside prod me for information, money, or whatever else you want? What do you do when everyone takes a turn in insulting me or calling me a monster just because of things I have been spending years making up for? You, Captain, locked me up in my own house. You  _ physically restrained _ me when I tried to leave and made sure I knew just how much you hated me because of a few mistakes, yet you let that bitch sit there as if she shits rainbows. Did you all forget when she actively  _ joined _ Ultron and only changed sides to  _ save herself _ ?” 

James wasn’t sure how to take Anton out of this situation. He could just get up and walk out with him, but that could make everyone upset, but he didn’t want Anton to stay any longer. It wasn’t just because he didn’t like what was happening verbally, but because he could see the way the witch’s hands started to glow, and he could see the stubborn tensed jaw on Rogers that made him wary of keeping Anton there, especially when Anton was already upset, and ready to possibly expose the fact he was just as trained as Natalia. If it came to a fight, James would try to cover Anton, but he wasn’t all too sure if he could hold back the witch. She was… an unstable bomb and he had no idea how to defuse her (at least not without killing her). 

“We forgave her for that. She was too young to know the full consequences of her actions. You  _ know _ that.” 

“I was seventeen when I took over the company, I was seventeen. Seventeen! I was younger than her when I was forced into the only thing Howard taught me to do and when I realized what I was doing was wrong, I stopped doing it. I was younger than her, yet I’m still the monster. I don’t understand how you can disregard so many facts, it’s like you’re trying to find reasons to hate me. Reasons to justify your shitty treatment of me, a teammate… I think we should leave before this escalates. You know where James is, now, but it’s still his birthday, and he shouldn’t have to suffer because you’re an asshole and everyone thinks I’m the devil.” 

“You can’t just leave, I just got you back,” the fact that Rogers had completely ignored Anton really rubbed him the wrong way. Anton stood, and he stood up behind him. 

“We can speak at a later time, FRIDAY knows how to contact me.” 

They walked out of the room and back towards’ Anton’s additional personal area. He stayed behind Anton, he wasn’t about to trust anyone to see his back. They would stab it before Anton could take a proper breath. When they got to the doorway, James sighed. He could fix it, but he couldn’t fix the smashed in keypad on the outside of the door. It looked ripped open and the wires had been pulled out and shredded too. He wondered if Rogers had really been so callous, or if it was someone (Barton, because as much as he didn’t like Wilson, he didn’t seem to be someone to start destroying property for the hell of it, nor was he nearly as entitled as the others. He disliked Wilson, he absolutely  _ loathed _ the other Avengers) who then decided since he couldn’t get in, he’d just sicc Rogers on the door itself and pretend like he didn’t do anything. 

“You go take a shower, I’m sure you can’t be comfortable.” 

“You know it. Lube is nice and all, but when its not really serving any purpose it’s just sticky and gross and my insides are slick… you sure you don’t want some help, though?” 

“I got this,  _ moya zvezdochka _ . You shower, and we can do something nice when you aren’t uncomfortable,” Anton looked at the door and then back at him. He pulled Anton to him by the waist and kissed him. “I got this, and if I don’t, then I’ll just try to clean up so you can fix it, alright? That keypad needs your magic touch anyway, there’s no way I can fix that.” 

“I’m sorry that your birthday was messed up. I don’t know why or what convinced Steve to break the door down, or why he decided to do it on the day he was supposed to be sulking in his room, but… I’m sorry.” 

“It wasn’t messed up, it was disrupted, yes, but we still have three more days before the girls get home, and that means that we still have three days to ‘celebrate’ without them threatening to emasculate us. Even though I doubt they would, I don’t really want to take that chance. Specifically with Pepper. I feel like she’s seen some weird stuff happen.” 

“She has walked in on her fair share of weird things,” Anton looked hesitant for a moment. “Uh, yeah, I’ll take a shower. I’m stealing one of your shirts though, they’re so soft.” 

Anton ran up the stairs and James asked FRIDAY if she could alert the kids and bring them up to help him with the door. He was sure they’d want to help him with it. They always got so excited when they were included in anything. They bots had their own ‘elevator’-ish lift since they couldn’t take the stairs, and Anton had mostly stairs and lacked elevators. James was glad, though, because he prefered stairs. Elevators made him nervous. In five minutes, the bots came with more tools in their claws than he could ever have needed, but he asks them to help him and they went to work, rolling around and handing him tools when he asked for them. DUM-E was particularly enthusiastic when he got to help, but U seemed to answer his rhetorical questions about installing a less-technology-reliant defense system in the even that the door is damaged again. He was thinking something with rope, and a lot of spikes that would pierce someone up good enough to kill them or make sure they don’t try anything a second (third?) time. He didn’t even bother with the keypad, he would only mess it up more, so when he fixed the door, patching in the wall and steel lock that was forced out of the wall and onto the ground with the door, he was glad he got it done. He was guiding the bots back to their lift, and hopefully down to the lab safely, when Anton came down the stairs. 

“Wow, you patched that up fast.” 

“The kids helped. I think U wants to help me build a guillotine, but I promise I didn’t give her the idea, it was the other way around, I think. FRIDAY translated.” 

“Well, I can help with that. I’ve never thought of building a guillotine, at least not large enough to hurt someone, but… it’s definitely worth a shot,” Anton crossed his arms. “I really am sorry.” 

“Don’t be sorry. You didn’t do anything wrong,” he thought for a moment, “come here.” When Anton moved towards him, he wrapped his arms around him, “the keypad needs to be fixed, but I think you should do that. I don’t want to break anything. But, let’s just relax first. The whole… the Avengers know now, so hopefully that’s a weight lifted from your shoulders.” 

“No, it’s only gotten worse. Now how am I gonna…” Anton sighed, “let’s just… can we just… can we go to your room?” 

“Sure,” James nodded at the bots who beeped before the doors shut and they were taken back to the workshop. He took Anton up to his room. He hadn’t really had Anton in his room often, it wasn’t somewhere they were at very often. James was hardly there himself. Anton moved to get under the blankets on his bed, and he pulled them up over his head. From the shape of the blankets over him, he had curled up a bit. James sat on the corner of the bed. “What’s wrong?” 

“It’s not important.” Was Anton crying? 

“Of course it’s important. You’re important,” James reached out and when his hand touched where he assumed Anton’s shoulder was, Anton flinched. James pulled his hand away. What had he done wrong? What was wrong? He didn’t know what to do, he didn’t know how to react, what happened? 

“It’s nothing. I’m just being overdramatic.” 

“I’ve seen your ‘dramatic,’ Antoshka, and this isn’t it,” he stretched out beside Anton, not touching him still, over the covers. “If there’s nothing wrong, then can you tell me, at least, what made you so upset?” There was shifting under the covers, and then Anton looked out from under them and scoot over a bit, and tugged his blanket from under him. James moved and kicked off the jeans he had put on earlier when Rogers had barged in so rudely. He slid under the covers and when Anton wrapped his arms around him, he pet his hair. Anton’s face was pressed against his sternum, and he tried to let the fact that there were tears there not affect him, but it… made him upset, angry. This day had been good, and then the Rogers fiasco happened and now Anton was crying on him and James hadn’t a single clue as to how he could make Anton feel better. He felt so helpless. That wasn’t a feeling he was used to, and it was definitely a feeling he did not like. 

“ _ Ya lyublyu tebya vsem serdtsem _ (I love you with all my heart),” Anton said. “ _ Ya ne khochu poteryat’ tebya _ (I don’t want to lose you).” 

James slid his fingers into Anton’s hair. “ _ Ya ne mogu zhit’ bez tebya  _ (I can’t live without you).”

***

James hadn’t fallen asleep like Anton had. Instead, he day dreamed. Cats, FRIDAY’s android body for her birthday, killing the Avengers, ya know, the typical stuff. 

It was nearly two in the morning when Anton shifted and crawled out of bed. He looked up at where Anton was standing. When Anton had left the room, he got up to see what he was up to. He stood at the bottom of the stairs and watched as Anton fixed the keypad, the door open so he could get back inside whenever he needed to. When he was finished with the lock, he met James’ eyes and picked up his tools and came back inside. The door buzzed as it locked again. 

“Sorry if I woke you up, I didn’t mean to.” 

“I wasn’t asleep. But, I was just curious what you were up to. There’s nothing like a bit of early morning repairing, is there?” Anton rolled his eyes. He set the tools and the stripped wires on the coffee table. 

“Wanted to get it done when the others were asleep. Didn’t want to risk them taking advantage of the door again. I mean, not fixing it right away was probably a mistake but to be fair… I don’t think I was in the right state of mind to be… well, I’m better now, and the lock’s been fixed.” He and Anton met at the couch, where they both sat down. It was only a moment of movement before James had an arm around Anton and had him pulled to his side. 

“Are you afraid that I will leave because they know I’m here?” Anton tensed against him. 

“No…,” he waited for Anton to continue, and when he thought Anton was finished, he opened his mouth. However, Anton quickly added, “I’m scared that you will realize that maybe you like them even more than you like us, here, but… I’m more worried that if Steve realizes you’re not his Bucky, he’s going to hurt you. For all the care he preaches, he’s a horrible friend.” 

“Let me ease your concerns,  _ moya zvezdochka _ ; I do not like them, and I have no intentions of entertaining their company unless you ask it of me. I know you care, even if you try not to, about them. Also, I would like to reassure you I’m safe, because Rogers couldn’t hurt me if he tried,” he tightened his arm around Anton, “and now that they know, I would prefer you allow me to act as a buffer between you and them. I don’t trust them, and while you’re very capable… your emotions could prevent you from hurting them, as they have in the past, but I have no such compunctions… let’s ignore them, for now. We can have these next few days, and then if they want to talk, then we can schedule it on our terms.” 

The following hours, as the dark gave way to the dawn, were spent with Anton nervously fidgeting and James trying to get him to relax by telling him about his daydreams about going out to get Connor a cat friend. By the time dawn lit the windows, Anton had already started to have FRIDAY tell him where the fullest animal shelters were, and promptly donating half a million dollars between three animal shelters, and a full million between non profit organizations that functioned as shelters for the homeless people, and community centers that helped with a number of other things. James was curious if that was just a random thought to throw money out at places, or if it came with some form of attachment and relatability for Anton. 

“We should go out to get Connor a friend,” Anton finally said. James hadn’t thought Anton would go along with adopting another cat so easily. “The main issue will be getting past Mr. House-Arrest.” 

“Between you and me, I think we can handle him.” 

James, however, needed to take a shower, and Anton had to feed Connor who had been stationed in Natalia’s room as a guard-cat of sorts. He got dressed and pulled some gloves on to hide his metal hand. While he knew Anton enjoyed his metal prosthetic, and everything that he could do with it, there was a happiness unique to Anton with his arm, so it was best to keep it covered. The previous day, everyone had seen his arm since he had been shirtless, but he was also sure they didn’t  _ want _ to see it. The same went for frightening animals and volunteers at the shelters they would be visiting. He let Anton braid his hair while he sat on the floor and tied his boots. Anton slid some shoes on near the door. 

“We’re getting food while we’re out. I was thinking… coffee and doughnuts. We can take the Charger, mostly because it has four doors which means more room to put things we buy for her, because, if we’re being serious, she needs at least two sweaters and so does Connor. Also, we need other cat stuff, I guess.” 

“I’m just loving your logic. Let’s go,” James said with a smile. Anton went to the back of the living room, near the entrance to the kitchen, and unlocked the box filled with car keys. He picked a set out. To get to the garage, they had to get out of the building, which typically meant they would go through the back door, but then Rogers was on his run, so he would see them. They could sneak around, but at this point, James wanted anyone to give him a reason to break their bones. He, however, didn’t want Anton to get uncomfortable, so sneaking through the front of the house it was. 

They got through the hall, passing the busy kitchen and dining room unnoticed. Maybe Rogers was already back from the run. He was typically the one who made breakfast, right? They got to the front door, and when they pushed it open, Rogers looked up at them from where he was walking in a few feet away from them. 

“I didn’t expect to see either of you for a while,” Rogers admitted. “What are you guys up to?” 

“We’re going to go adopt a cat. Hopefully a ginger cat that we’ll name Claudia,” Anton said. “It was James’ idea, but it’s a good one, so we’re doing it.” 

“Just because you have Bucky doesn’t mean you can just forget about the house rules. In fact, you lied to us, you’re lucky the team doesn’t decide to start enforcing the rules much stricter than before,” Rogers crossed his arms over his chest. “And you, Buck, I don’t understand why you think it’s alright to encourage this sort of dangerous behaviour. If you didn’t want to be found, I understand, but to have Tony lie to us for you? That’s not something I expected from you at all.” 

Anton grabbed his gloved hand and just kept smiling at Rogers. 

“As nice as this little chat is, I think we’re leaving now. And I don’t think there’s anything you can do to stop me this time. Try to restrain, try to force me back inside, and James won’t be as pleasant as you want him to be,” Anton tugged his arm to have him follow him. He walked past a very angry Rogers and followed Anton. “Oh my god,” he whispered as they were entering the garage, “did you see that?!” Anton showed him to the car and handed him the keys. “You remember how to drive on the right side of the road?” 

“I can do just about anything needed of me, Antoshka, you know that,” he got into the driver’s seat and Anton sat beside him in the passenger seat, “Where to first?” 

“Food, then cats.” 

***

Adopting a cat turned into adopting a cat  _ and _ a ginormous puppy that would turn into a ginormous dog. They named them Claudia and Levka respectively. Levka sat on Anton’s lap and licked his hands and face. Claudia was under Anton’s chair, and hissed every time they hit any noticeable bump. She didn’t like the car nearly as much as Levka did. 

“Ooh, he’s gonna be so big!” Anton rubbed his cheek against Levka’s ears, “he’s gonna be the best guard dog in the world, and he loves to cuddle, and he likes-- holy shit, he’s you if you were a dog.” 

“I’m not sure how to respond to that,” James said, turning up toward the road that led back to the compound. It was maybe five minutes away from the house, but James was honestly excited about having another cat and dog. At first, he had been terrified of hurting Connor, but Claudia didn’t seem to hesitate to let them know when she wasn’t happy, and Levka was bound to grow into a dog big enough to knock him over, so he wasn’t too worried about them anymore. Connor could kill a man with his new leg alone, he wasn’t too nervous. Also, he managed to take care of Anton well enough, and Anton was tiny compared to him too. He parked in the garage, same place the car had sat before they decided to go out. Anton got out of the car, and he traded the keys with Anton in return for Levka. He held the puppy to his chest. Oh, he was really warm, a big fluff ball. Levka was already licking his face when he saw Anton holding Claudia at arms length because she was curling her hind legs up to kick him. 

“She really takes after her namesake, doesn’t she?” 

“What do you mean? She’s a ginger with an attitude. Sounds like two women we know, and neither are named Claudia,” Anton waited until Claudia stopped trying to claw him before holding her closer and handing James things to help carry. They managed the get everything from the car in one trip. 

They went into their house from the back entrance purely because they didn’t want to run into the Avengers with their new pets. They didn’t deserve to meet them anyway. James set Levka on the floor and he was immediately running around the kitchen and into the living room. He set the things they got down on the kitchen counter. Anton did the same, but instead of running, Claudia slinked off, side to the wall. She really did remind him of Natalia. 

“I’m letting you take over the task of putting a collar on her. I’m not even going to attempt it,” Anton was pulling things out of the bags and laying them out. James realized they probably didn’t need all of those things, but… they were bought anyway because he and Anton decided they ‘needed’ them. 

“Only if you do the honours of informing Natalia and Pepper that they have two new housemates.” 

“I can live with that. But we should probably make sure Levka isn’t ruining the couch or anything, and honestly, I’m sort of worried for Levka to get too close to Claudia. She and Connor will be fine but her and our boy? Oh no. No, no, no. That will just not work and I honestly don’t want to deal with that.” 

“I’ll go watch them,” James took the dark blue collar for Claudia with him, “I’ll also get their collars on,” he picked out the thicker purple collar for Levka. He kissed Anton’s cheek and left to the animals. This was going to be fun. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the majestic link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1IwVe7D9KOoQPyShSCwi0xkLzZKtwptulw67VFXJZYQg/edit?usp=sharing 
> 
> Also, thank you for reading! Your input is always inspiring!


	21. Natasha's POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The girls are back (in black).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I haven't updated in a while. Sorry. Got sort of busy, but here's chapter twenty-one. I will try to update on Tuesday next week, but I'm rewriting a bunch of chapters because I didn't like where it was going, so yeah. Re-writes and stuff like that. Tedious, sometimes irritating, but mostly my mind is picked for everything it's worth and just left there. 
> 
> Anyway, here it is!

Natasha’s POV

She had ignored five calls from Steve, one from Sam, and two from Clint. She received two voicemails from Clint and four from Steve. She had also gotten a multitude of texts from Clint and one from Sam. She was thankful Wanda knew not to message or call her. Then again, she was sure Wanda was just uncomfortable about her now because she knew she liked other women and took on the idea that because Natasha enjoyed being with other women, she was somehow attracted to her, which was wrong. Then again, Wanda was typically wrong, so it wasn’t too surprising. 

The fact she received these calls on James’ birthday made her nervous, but she hadn’t answered. She hadn’t gotten any messages from either James or Tony, so she hoped nothing had happened. It had been one month since she and Pepper had decided they were ‘dating’ at least somewhat. They still sparred, and Pepper had a lot to learn, and this ‘relationship’ between them didn’t have Natasha lowering her standards at all, rather it raised the bar. She, however, had found herself rising to go to SI if Pepper needed anything, or running messages between Tony and Pepper or paperwork just to see her. That was all unlike any other relationship she had had with anyone else. Then again, she hadn’t really met anyone like Pepper, and she couldn’t remember anyone ever making her feel like Pepper made her feel. It was sometimes just as scary as fighting an army single handedly, but it was just as rewarding as taking out targets without receiving any injuries. 

Pepper was spread out on the hotel bed. The room was nice, as most everything Tony got was, but this was also just a reputable, upstanding, and  _ discreet _ hotel for the wealthier travellers. If she wasn’t scared SI would take a hit for her and Pepper’s relationship, she would be more than happy to be casual with it, but she had also lived most of her life hiding and gathering intel or killing from the shadows. This relationship could be kept under wraps for as long as necessary. In the end, it was Pepper calling the shots. Natasha had no point of reference, so she graciously let Pepper take this entire affair into her competent hands. 

Of course, Pepper was already in a set of teal pyjamas. She looked so lovely in teal, the mix of blue and green, those cool colours, contrasted against her typically pink undertoned skin and red hair. It was nice. Natasha stuck to her spider pyjamas that Tony had bought her as a gift. It had been a joke, but it had meant a lot despite that. She rolled onto the bed, resting on her back while Pepper was propped up on her shoulders, looking over a tablet. 

“Have you gotten any messages from the boys?” 

“No… why?” Pepper asked. 

“The Avengers have called, a lot. I just don’t want anything to have happened. They would call us or message us if that had happened, right?” Natasha felt Pepper shift her weight and finally, the sound of the tablet resting on the night table before she rolled on her side. 

“They know better than to keep it hidden. It wouldn’t help them if they didn’t tell us, so I doubt they would keep it a secret. The Avengers are probably just following Rogers’ grieving self because it was his Bucky’s birthday. They could just want to drag you on another ‘adventure’ to search for him or something,” Pepper wrapped an arm around her waist. Had it been just about anyone else, excluding Tony (James rarely acted so affectionate with her), she would have had them flipped on their back and a knife to their throat in a second. Pepper was different, though. She rested her head in the area between her shoulder and her chest, which gave Natasha a perfect angle to run her fingers through Pepper’s hair. 

“That’s a very likely possibility.” 

“Of course it is. I’m  _ always _ right,” Pepper said. And while Natasha couldn’t see Pepper’s smirk, she was sure it was there. She rolled her eyes. 

“Yes, you are,” Natasha replied. So, she could indulge her girlfriend. She would support her in any arguments, because, as Pepper pointed out, she was always right. Everyone in their home knew that, even Tony and FRIDAY (although U could get very passive aggressive when she felt she was in the ‘right’ and Pepper was wrong. She was still learning the chain of command. Pepper ran that house, and nobody could convince her otherwise). “I hope they don’t fuck on the kitchen table. That’s a sacred space.” 

“We know that the couch has been most definitely tainted, but the chairs… they may not have thought of those. 

“I feel like they will have either thought about how to defile everything and done that, or they’re just saying that they were having crazy sex, but were actually just spooning and talking about science and murder,” Pepper said. Her words so accurately described the only two options for two very extreme men that Natasha felt she could not do any justice by adding or detracting from her statement. 

“I like spooning and talking about murder.” 

“Would you like to have crazy sex as well?” Pepper’s said. Her voice didn’t waver. Of course Pepper would be able to say something like that so deadpan. Pepper had to deal with Tony during the time he was still very obviously Tony Stark, and not the eccentric but genuinely caring assassin. He had, from what Natasha had heard, been a handful for even Colonel Rhodes, who was practically Tony’s handler before he was a ‘superhero’. The one who wrangled him in when he was on a path of self destruction, world destruction, and was generally enraged by just about everything. 

It sounded odd and sappy, but Natasha was so very glad Tony had offered her such vital information. He had no reason to trust her, he had every reason to hate her very existence, but he hadn’t cursed her or sent her away, he just… he offered her something she had never had, and she was so thankful for it. 

“Is that a real question?” 

“Sure. Why not?” 

“Well, I thought you said ‘no rush’,” Natasha felt silly for that, but Pepper had said it. 

“I meant no rushing on the emotional part. You and I, as much as we don’t want to admit it, aren’t exactly stellar examples of well adjusted and our relationship wasn’t all too healthy in the beginning, but… I mean, sex isn’t rushing, sex is just the physical part… or do you believe in the whole ‘sex is the closest for of intimacy’ sort of thing? I mean, I didn’t mean to assume--” 

“No. You’re right. I just assumed that  _ you _ had that idea of sex. I mean…” 

“Yeah, that’s what my past partners seemed to think, but they’re wrong. Unless you don’t want to, I understand if you rather not now.” 

Natasha never thought she’d say this, “let’s wait. For now. I just…,” she didn’t want Pepper to be there only for sex. She had plenty of that, and she had been trained to see sex as only a mission or an obstacle to overcome in order to complete her mission. She didn’t want to see the same with Pepper, she didn’t want to ruin this with her  _ cold and callous _ attitudes that generally kept her away, or single, from actual relationships. Healthy, mutually pleasant relationships. 

“I understand. You don’t need to explain everything because you feel obligated to. You’re not obligated to do or say anything you don’t want to,” Pepper leaned forward to kiss her cheek before pulling away, just enough to pull the covers up on her side and then got under them. “And just so you know, you don’t have to do or say anything you think someone wants to hear, unless you want to, but normally, if you want Tony to move his feet from the coffee table next to your tea, you can tell him, he’ll probably pitch a bitch, but he’ll usually do it. And, if you think I want you to agree with me, I’m not going to be angry with you for disagreeing, we’re dating, but you don’t have to please me just because… just because we’re dating. I won’t do that with you, and I don’t think it’s fair if you’re under the impression that you should do that, because you can do and say whatever you want, I mean, don’t call me a bitch or anything, but I mean, if that’s your opinion…” 

Natasha got under the covers, too. It was spring in Europe, and it as currently forty-eight degrees (Farenheit) outside, so that was perfect weather to be able to wear layers and not overheat or cook under the blankets. 

She had gone into this relationship with an idea of the expectations that Pepper would have of her. If not from the months they had spent together, learning about each other without the hostility that followed before it all, but Pepper was constantly flipping what Natasha thought she should do and what she did. Normally, Natasha was the enhanced, highly trained assassin who wore a knife to bed, she would be the one holding and protecting, right? Except she wasn’t. Pepper wrapped her up in her arms and held her. It was… so unlike what she had ever experienced before. She was the protector, she was the one who held, she offered the comfort, but Pepper. Pepper did that for her. It was… not what she had expected, but despite that, she enjoyed it very much. 

Should she have any true basis for what ‘love’ was, she would have understood where she stood, but at this point, she was flying blindly, and Pepper was the one who was guiding this flight. She was completely out of her element, but she knew that she liked it when Pepper held her, and when Pepper easily slid the self imposed strength that had always been expected of her to the side so that she could be cared for. She imagined if she felt like Tony did when James took care of him, and she wondered how he wasn’t entirely addicted to the feeling of mattering not because of  _ what _ you were or  _ what _ you could offer, but because of  _ who _ you were. 

***

The calls and messages didn’t stop, but the texts did. When she hadn’t received an update from either Tony or James, she grew nervous. That’s when, after the last meeting of Pepper’s for Stark Industries Business concluded, she packed her stuff and Pepper had told her to meet her on the runway. Pepper helped pull the suitcases from the back of the car, ignoring the men who stared at her lift their weight in four inch heels with the ease of brushing her hair, and they boarded the jet. It was one day before they were supposed to be back, but from some of the texts she had received, this seemed like a very smart thing to do. Go home, apologize for coming back early (although she had a feeling both Tony and James would brush off their apology because if anyone enjoyed having everyone home, Tony did, and what Tony liked, James seemed to as well), and see what the hell was happening because this seemed sad. 

“I spoke to Tony, he said that we didn’t need to cut the trip short, but I assured him that it wasn’t because of the Avengers, but because we missed them. Of course, it was because there seems to be trouble at home, but I didn’t want him to try and reassure us and put his comfort beneath ours.” Pepper said. She nodded. “They also mentioned that they adopted another cat, and a dog.” 

“What?” 

“They adopted two more pets. Tony said they were a present for James’ birthday, but something tells me that it was less of a present and more of a way to escape the fact the Avengers have been harassing them.” 

“They said the Avengers were harassing them?” That didn’t sound like something Tony would say, and James, despite his best efforts to not act on his impulses, had met with her in the gym in the past months (especially after they raided his room and accused Tony of dating Brock Rumlow - note: James absolutely  _ abhorred _ Brock Rumlow) and demonstrated why he was the best assassin to walk the planet (even if he hadn’t been meaning to show his skills, rather he wanted to break things). There hadn’t been anymore knives thrown at her, but she also could tell James was listening to her and picking up on her ‘silence’ because she wasn’t truly silent, there was always sound, but it was very, very quiet, and he could hear it. He seemed to know when it was her and not Tony or Pepper, even, which only served to make him scarier. 

During those moments where James absolutely destroyed the reinforced punching bags and then cleaned the mess with a huff and pout, as he stared at the floor as if he wanted to kill that too, James hadn’t been nearly as nice in describing the Avengers’ behaviour. She heard a lot of threats, most of them were colourful even for her, and knowing he could and might carry them out was enough to make even Captain America terrified, and he punched  _ Hitler _ in the mouth. 

“Well, Tony said harassing, but then James had brought tea in or something and when Tony told him he was talking to me, James was all too happy to start a small portion of a long list, no doubt, of what the Avengers were doing. He wasn’t as understated as Tony was in the descriptions. We’re needed to keep the Avengers under wraps, and to keep James from murdering them. That would draw too much media attention and I sent James a text so he understood that. Now, if their equipment happens to malfunction during an incident, well, we can’t be held responsible for their poor care of their equipment. It would be their negligence that caused their injuries, and not our fault.” 

“Six months ago, you were horrified when you walked in on Tony and I beating the shit out of each other, and now you’re talking about  _ equipment malfunctions _ being beneficial?” 

“My superpower is to adapt.” 

“Seems like it,” Natasha went to Pepper’s seat on the jet and leaned against her. “I feel like this is the last slice of peace we might be having for a while, so let’s just enjoy it. We’ll probably get to have nights with the guys but… the Avengers, and I feel bad for having had so much faith in them at one point, are a mess, and attempting to break in or sabotage everything isn’t beneath them, especially with  _ Barton _ and Maximoff on the team.” Thankfully, Pepper didn’t mention the fact she didn’t call Barton by his first name, which she always had before. She was very upset with him, though, and she doubted she would ever not be frustrated with him. And with herself for having thought he wasn’t as bad as she now knew. But his idea that she still cared would be used against him now, just as he had used her care for him to hurt her. She wouldn’t let Barton hurt her again, he wouldn’t be physically able to. 

(And if she thought about Pepper tearing him down for her, well, it would be interesting to see, that’s for sure.)

***

When they landed, Mr. Hogan picked them up and took them to the compound. Pepper spoke with him, casually, most of the ride. Natasha didn’t feel bad about fighting with him, especially because he know knew he needed to practice if he wanted to truly guard anyone, but the way he avoided speaking to her, or looking at her, was a little uncomfortable. He dropped them off at the compound and got out to help with the luggage, but Pepper turned down his assistance. Natasha picked up what she could, which was a lot, and started carting it inside. She had taken about the same amount she had to Dahab, but Pepper really was carrying bricks in her bags because they were heavy, even for her. 

They walked into the house through the back door, wanting to avoid the Avengers entirely so they could get the story from Tony. She set the bags down and stretched her arms up over her head. It was nice to be home. It was nice to have a home to come back too at the end of the day, actually. She was caught off guard by the puppy bonding after her. The barking had stopped, and the puppy, large as it was, jumped up and pawed at her leg for attention. She picked him up and the pup seemed to love that because he was squirming and yipping while he licked her face. She held him at arm’s length, but she had already gotten coated with dog drool. The pup was followed by both Tony and James. 

“Tasha!” Tony took the place of the dog. “I missed you, and I missed Pepper, and you would not believe what happened while you were gone.” 

“I’m sure we won’t. Why don’t we go to the living room for this.” The luggage was pushed to the side of the door, and Pepper was quickly inside the house behind her. They went to the living room, and Tony was telling them about how he and James had decided to adopt the animals, and also what happened earlier in the week when James put the collar on Claudia. Apparently she didn’t like her collar, and was cross with James for putting it on her. The collar had since disappeared. Tony collapsed on the couch. 

“You know, you could have called us if there were any issues,” Pepper said as they all took their seats. 

“We were gonna let you have your vacation to yourselves. Have fun and stuff,” Tony shrugged, “We took care of it. Handled  _ it _ well considering the circumstances, I think.” 

“What happened, exactly? How did they even find out?” 

“They only know that James is here. They don’t know about any of the other things, at least I don’t think they do. If they did, then I doubt they would’ve only been bothering us, they would probably have me executed or something,” Tony looked up at James for a moment, and then he turned back. “Steve broke the door down while we were here. He saw James, and freaked out.” 

“What gives him any right to break your door down? What gave him the idea that he had any right to do that?” Pepper asked, but she sighed, likely realizing the answer to her own question. That was just how Steve was. He had grown entitled over his course of being Captain America, and they hadn’t done much to curb that growing flaw. In reality, the way she had once humoured him, and the way Tony had always felt the need to give into his wishes because he was some ‘great’ legend, well, that only made it worse. Even then, Tony could come home and talk about how much he disliked Steve, but he wouldn’t be the first one to start saying that it was Steve’s fault, and he wouldn’t publicly admit his distaste. Insulting him was different, it was expected, but it was also expected that he defer to Captain America when it ‘mattered’. 

“He thinks he’s entitled to Antoshka’s time and presence,” James said before Tony could say something in defense of Steve (because he still did that, she had no idea why). 

“How do we effectively inform him that he isn’t?” Pepper asked. 

“Well, termination is  _ always _ an option,” James supplied. Pepper nodded. She saw Tony staring at her, with a ‘what the hell is happening?’ look that she could relate to. James, who had previously been about not fighting, of reigning back his violent desires, and Pepper who had been about cool logical over brutality to win any arguments or fights, were both now agreeing over the possibility of murdering someone they didn’t like. Natasha, despite finding it odd, did not think it was uncalled for. She could see the benefit in the execution of the other Avengers, and she knew James could handle it, but with Pepper, they could more than handle it. They could have everyone in the world fooled, too, because Pepper could have people eating from her palm (although it was sometimes them eating from her palm because they were terrified to disobey her will) with a raised eyebrow and a sharp remark, and James would leave no evidence to suspect them (or anyone, unless he wanted them to think that). 

“We could always just tell him that his behaviour was unacceptable and threaten to take away his credit card,” Natasha said. She was all for murder, but… she felt bad, because she was tired of the Avengers, and she didn’t want to deal with them anymore, but she had, at one point, been friends with them, and while that normally didn’t mean anything, it did now. She wasn’t just a weapon anymore, and she was allowed to have feelings, even if they made no logical sense, like this. 

“He’d just borrow a different card. We could threaten to make them leave.” 

“He wouldn’t take that threat seriously.” 

“We could  _ make _ them leave,” James said. It went silent for a few minutes. Natasha considered it, and it seemed that Tony was trying to fade between the couch cushions and James’ side. He looked worried and uncomfortable. Pepper’s jaw was tense, her lower lip jutted forward just enough to let her know that she was upset, but her silence meant she was considering James’ idea. 

“Why don’t we just go talk to them? All of them. Just let them know that breaking down the door wasn’t appreciated, and that if they do it again, there will be serious repercussions?” 

“But we’ve tried that before,” Pepper said. 

“Can we just deal with this tomorrow? You’re both back, and we should just forget that they exist so we can just be happy. We can deal with this unpleasant work later,” Tony looked like he’d rather not talk about it, and both James and Pepper seemed to see that. They put on  _ The Godfather _ and called a place to deliver food. 

Halfway through the third movie of the night,  _ The Monster Squad _ , Pepper and Natalia found themselves moving. At first, it was Natalia who went to where Tony was, and wrapped an arm around him, but then Pepper joined them, wrapping an arm around her, and also petting Tony’s hair from where her hand was left off Natasha’s shoulder. Tony hooked his arm with hers and held her hand while he rested most of his weight against James who had his arm curled around his waist, and gently stroking just above his knee absently. 

It was dawn when they finally moved from that position, because Levka was loud and wanted outside, as did Claudia who had been meowing at the door. 

“D’ya think Steve’s up on his run already?” Tony asked. 

“Probably,” she said, “do you usually take him out when you know the others wouldn’t be out?” He didn’t have to respond for her to know that that was exactly what he did. “Here, I’ll take them out, you stay here with James and Pepper,” Pepper, for all she would deny it, was on a sleep schedule. And had already fallen asleep. She was the only one of them to have drifted off, but they didn’t want to wake her up because if she could sleep on a normal basis, then they didn’t want to disrupt that. Just because they weren’t able to sleep, only meant they all knew how precious it was when they could. 

“You don’t need a leash for Levka, either, he will come if you call him. He’s such a smart boy.” 

She went out with Levka, Claudia slinking behind them, side pressed against the wall as she followed the direction of the building as she ran off. Levka, at first, just wanted to play. Jumping up and pawing at her knees before running around. He did his business, and then he stayed out to play for a while longer. Tony’s home wasn’t small, nothing with Tony was (except his self esteem), but Levka was a big puppy, and he probably liked being able to run around. There was more space for him to run without crashing into a wall (it had only happened once when he ran down the stairs and barrelled into the back of the couch, since she got home). He turned wide, and he was currently chasing the hummingbird that had caught his attention, which wasn’t something to be found inside. She moved, leaning against the side of the building and watching him run around, so she could rest. She was going to wait for him to tire himself out a little before taking him back inside. 

As she was about to call Levka back inside, James came out. He stood beside her, arms crossed. 

“We were worried you had been  _ accosted _ by the Avengers.” 

“Nope. Haven’t seen anyone out, which is surprising in itself. He’s having a blast though. Look at him go,” he was admittedly adorable in all his goofiness. He wasn’t very scary, but she could see how he could be intimidating if he was growling rather than drooling and trying to catch a bird that he would never be able to catch without a bit of help. “Is Pepper still asleep?” 

“Yeah. Anton moved her to her bed so she could get some ‘proper rest.’ Now we don’t have to whisper in the living room.” 

“Do you know how we’re going to deal with the Avengers?” 

“I think Anton wants to do something with all of us, together, us and the Avengers. I don’t know why, but he always has his reasons, even if they don’t exactly make sense to us,” James was watching Levka. Then, the puppy bit down on the hummingbird. He releases the bird a moment later, and trotted to them, tail between his legs. “Didn’t like that, did you?” Levka pawed at James’ leg and whined. James picked him up and held him. “Ah, look, there the bird goes.” The hummingbird flitted closer and then far away and out of sight. “Claudia will whine when she wants back inside. C’mon, cutie, let’s get you inside and get you fed.” 

Natasha followed James inside. Levka was placed on the floor and ran to Tony in the kitchen. They walked in on him petting the dog and then getting him food. Natasha sat at the table. Tony sat a cup of tea in front of her and then sat down across from her. 

“Did you ever think that one day you’re life wouldn’t be full of missions and murder? I mean, this domesticity is nice, but I honestly never expected to get it. The closest I thought I would ever get is Rhodey and Pepper forcing me upstairs to eat dinner and watch a movie before I went back downstairs to try and do something to keep myself busy. Never thought life would be this… normal.” 

“I never expected this, but it’s nice and I wouldn’t want to change it for anything,” she said. Tony nodded. 

“I think we should have a dinner-meeting with the Avengers. You know, keep everyone busy with food. I mean, if Barton’s mouth is full, it’s gonna be harder for him to talk, and easier for us to ignore him if he tries. And hopefully Vision will come out if there’s food he can try and cook.” 

“Alright. When do you want to set it up for?” 

“Two weeks from now. I would do it earlier but… I think tension is a little too high now, and food definitely won’t settle rage. Steve’ll take his frustration out on the punching bags by then, so hopefully it won’t get physical.” 

They could only hope. Despite his routine, Steve was emotional, and emotions were, by nature, unpredictable. Like the Avengers. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long to post, but I hope you enjoyed it. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! And kudos or comments, but mostly just reading. I'd like to hear feedback, but really, just knowing that people are reading this and it's bringing some happiness, even if it can get sad sometimes, to people is enough. C:


	22. James' POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dinner and a show (sorta-kinda).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, because I can't focus on anything, I've split writing this with writing this other thing. Honestly, I don't know how this one's gonna end, at all, so I'm just kinda going where it takes me and hoping it'll get finished. I have a hard time finishing things (obviously) but I am going to try with all of these fics because it's good practice. 
> 
> Also, I actually updated on Tuesday! 
> 
> (Also, the other fic I've started is about a softie Winter Soldier, and it's sort of awesome, so hopefully that is good too, but I'm not gonna publish it for a while, so that I can at least get farther into it before I start making commitments and stuff - although I'm not very good at updating these ones either....)

James’ POV

Pepper hadn’t been able to make it to the dinner. There was an emergency meeting at Stark Industries, apparently a few other companies who, according to Pepper, were ‘idiots who think they’re geniuses’ and had decided to cause problems. It had been going on for a week or so, but they had threatened to take their opinions to the public, and Pepper had to smooth their ruffled feathers, and possibly prepare the Public Affairs Department to watch for certain ex-benefactors in the media and promptly shut his rants down. 

So, it would just be him, Natalia, and Anton. He had gotten dressed in some of his semi-formal clothes. He hadn’t had a chance to go out and wear them, but they were soft and he liked them. Anton had picked them out, so he trusted Anton’s fashion sense enough to know he was appropriately styled. The left sleeve of his shirt was cut, and hemmed nicely, so that his metal arm was almost entirely exposed. He, at first, though about hiding it, but he was proud of it, he was proud of his Anton. Therefore, he decided he would let it show, and he didn’t care if it brought upon discomfort, because it was a part of him. There was no regeneration of lost limbs, so what could he do? Well, he could rub his shiny appendage in their faces, so that is what he planned to do. 

He heard Natalia and Anton behind the door. They were in Natalia’s room, and he was waiting outside of the door. He felt odd just standing there, but Levka was sitting on the floor beside him, his tag dragging across the floor as he stared up at him. He wasn’t too much bigger, it had only been three weeks since they got him, but he would be growing soon. The door opened. 

“How do we look?” Anton held it arms out, “we’re matching, but it was a total accident. I wanted to wear this sweater, but Tasha had a new dress, and so, here we are.” Aton’s cream-colour sweater, or  _ his _ sweater that Anton had taken, was a over a navy button down, and his jean-like slacks were navy as well. Then, Natalia was wearing a navy dress that was hemmed just below her knee and a cream colour… cardigan? It was shorter than what Anton wore, it was… he had no idea, but it looked very nice on her. She looked cute and fragile as opposed to the normal deadly assassin he typically saw in her. (He still knew how dangerous all of them were despite their soft appearances.)

“You look great. Both of you. Are you wearing eyeliner? Mascara?” 

“No. I have naturally lustrous lashes,” Anton said with a huff, but it was playful. He was most definitely wearing eyeliner. Natalia smiled at them and crossed her arms. 

“Gonna give him the box?” 

“Oh! Yeah, here,” Anton pulled a small, black box from his pocket. He held it out, “It’s late, but I had to make one for each of us, and Tasha’s gift was her idea, but I’m the one who made it because I’m just that good.” 

He opened the box. There was a glowing star attached to a black chord. It was blue, like the arc reactor in Anton’s chest, and the way it felt against his fingers, a little staticy, he had an idea that it could be made with the same sort of material that made Anton’s reactor blue. He put it on. It hung over his sternum. 

“There’s another one under the foamy-thing.” 

Indeed there was. It was dog-tag like in shape, but the string wasn’t the metal bead chain, it was similar chord like the first necklace. On the rectangle, there were names punched into the metal. It read, in alphabetical order: Anton, Claudia, Connor, DUM-E, FRIDAY, James, Levka, Natalia, U, [and] Virginia. There was room for two or maybe three more names. 

He loved it, and put it on as well. 

“Thank you. They’re wonderful,” Anton was swept into a familiar hug, but he pulled Natalia into this one because it had been her idea and it was amazing. She relaxed in a few seconds and he released them soon after. He was holding them in his flesh hand, and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to let them go now. The metal and star were warming against his palm. 

“Glad you like ‘em,” Anton rubbed his palms on the front of his slacks. “Okay, let’s get this over with. Can you see my knife?” He shook his head, because he hadn’t seen any such weapon, and he had been looking Anton over since he stepped out the door. They made their way down to the first floor. Anton kissed Levka three times  between the ears before they left for dinner with the Avengers. James felt bad for leaving Levka behind. He usually ate with them. His dinner time was one of the two times he could get Anton to come to the kitchen to eat, rather than bringing him something in the middle of the day. Since they had adopted Levka, Anton had taken over the duties of making sure he had food and water twice a day, and sometimes more than that when he got anxious and needed to check everything a few times before he could relax. 

He led them, walking into the dining room and taking a seat, not speaking just yet. Natalia sat two seats away from him, and Anton took the seat between them. The food was spread down the long table on fancy dishes and plates. There were plenty of drinks. Rogers was there, staring at him with a dopey smile. 

“I’m glad you came. Is Ms Potts going to be joining us?” Rogers asked. 

“No. Pepper was called away for business, and offers her sincerest apologies for missing dinner,” he said. Rogers looked at him, that dopey smile tightening before he quickly looked to Anton and then back to him. He nodded and he sat down at the head of the table. After a moment, Rogers motioned for everyone to start taking what they want. It was chaotic, and it grew louder with chatter between Barton and Wilson, and Rogers chiming in every few moments. Vision was there, and this was the first time James saw him in person, but he hadn’t looked at Anton once, and he knew Anton had been so relaxed about this because of Vision, but despite them sitting across the table from each other, Vision had yet to acknowledge his existence. Under the table, he reached and held Anton’s left hand. He felt Anton squeeze his hand, but on the surface, Anton looked as neutral and charming as he did when he was putting on the airs of Tony Stark. 

“Uh, well, that’s alright,” Rogers said, he motioned for everyone to start taking food, and the dishes were being passed around shortly after. “You, uh, look good.” 

“Thanks.” 

Department X taught him a lot of things, and one of his favour things from Department X that didn’t have to do with murder, was that the people there, when they were talking with each other (mind you, he was almost always complimented because the majority were afraid of him) they wouldn’t just mindlessly return compliments. It wasn’t about making other people like you, it was being truthful and blunt about what they wanted to say. He didn’t think Rogers looked all that nice in a threadbare suit that looked like it could be from the forties, so he didn’t both with blowing smoke up his ass to make him feel better. 

“You’re awful quiet, Stark. Does lover boy wanna share the secrets of your silence?” 

“Just don’t want to interrupt Steve’s flirting. And it’s funny. Sometimes being quiet is a good thing, maybe you should try it,” Anton said. Barton looked upset, offended, but he didn’t say anything. 

“Let’s just try to be nice tonight, alright?” Rogers asked, but it was more of a command, and the way he was looking at Anton, as if he was the one who had started that little tiff, was aggravating. 

Now, it was true, James was purposely finding small things to give him a reason to dislike the Avengers even more. He admitted it full heartedly, he had originally been mistaken, and there was more than enough large faults he could pick at, but the smaller details, that didn’t really mean all too much in the long run, were just little justifications he could make if he were ever asked  _ why _ . He was nitpicking everything just because he could, and he wasn’t about to let anyone know what he was picking on either, just let them know that he was indeed observing and picking on anything and everything. Considering they seemed to want to make Anton uncomfortable, he didn’t try to comfort them at all. He hoped they knew he was silently judging just about everything they said or did. 

After a silent fifteen minutes of people awkwardly pushing food around on their plates, of Wilson trying hard to find a way to apologize to Anton without it sounding like an apology, and of Rogers staring at him with wide eyes and a wistful expression that would shift every time he made any movements, James was ready to leave. He was ready to hold Anton over his shoulder and pick Natalia up and take them back to their home because this was horrible. Nothing had been said, no more insults, nothing really. It had been uncomfortable, though, the silence interrupted only but steady chattering of Wilson who was constantly correcting himself (despite having nothing to truly correct), and the persistent staring from Rogers who seemed to go between seeing the Bucky he remembered and looking on at him with all this affection, to something of confusion where his brows would furrow and he would look down for a brief second before looking back up to observe something that James’ didn’t have any specifics of. 

“So, that’s a nice necklace,” Rogers said. Wilson’s mouth snapped shut and everyone looked at him. James nodded. 

“Yes, I like them both. They mean a lot to me.” 

“What does it say?” 

“It has our names on it,” he reached up to hold it again. He brushed his thumb over the dented letters. “I got them both for my birthday. It was… nice until someone broke our door down, but it ended well.” 

“Alright. We get it, Rambo. You’re on Tony’s side and you don’t like us, but what exactly has Tony told you about us to make you hate us so much? If you didn’t notice, Steve’s been looking for you for years, and you’ve been a shit friend, in my opinion. You’d been hiding with Tony the entire time that Steve spent looking for you. Everything we did was to find you and you can’t even thank him because you’re so tainted by lies. Just so you know, Steve is a good man, and hate to break it to ya, but Tony’s not exactly a saint, and while Steve’s not either, he’s sure doing better than Tony. So, if you’re gonna come over here and ignore that Steve’s done a whole helluva lot to try and find you, then you can just leave. We don’t want your bad attitude, and if you’re trying to tell us how different you are from Steve’s friend, then we’ve got it. You’re a giant asshole, understood. It’s crystal clear,” Barton crossed his arms, and Maximoff patted his shoulder. 

“You ready?” He asked, directing his question at Anton and Natalia. He was totally fine with leaving. Hopefully they could get home and ignore that any of that really happened. They could make sure Levka is left boneless from being petted and cuddled, and he was sure that after this tense dinner, even Natalia would want to cuddle up on the couch and hold Connor while Levka was running around running into things, excited that they were home. 

“What? No, don’t go. Clint’s just upset. I mean, you haven’t really been all that nice, and we’re trying to offer an olive branch, and he was a little harsh, but… I mean, you aren’t even trying to get along with us, and he’s right, I’ve been trying to find you since the helicarrier incident, but I understand if you were worried or scared, and that’s alright, you have a right to feel whatever you want. I just, I miss you, and you’ve just sort of ignored me, and I mean, Tony’s not a bad guy, but… he doesn’t know the whole story, and we promise we weren’t trying to hurt you, or anything, and that was uncalled for, me breaking the door down, but Clint said that it sounded--” 

“That, right there,” James said, cutting Rogers off, “that distrust of Tony,” it felt so odd to not call him Anton, “that somehow mislead you to believe it was justified to break his door down based on the word of someone who had no actual knowledge, but just a suspicion as well as a known dislike of Tony. That’s  _ wrong _ . I’m not trying to get along with any of you, because I don’t think I like you. I understand if you don’t like that, but honestly, I don’t care if you like it or not, because that’s just how it is. Thank you for looking for me, but it was uncalled for. I was hiding for a reason, and while it may not have been from you specifically, it was from people in general, and that includes you. I’ve ignored you because you haven’t shown me a single thing for me to care about, and like I said, I don’t like you, so why would I try to be friendly to you without a reason? So, I’m ready to leave, but I will stay, if neither of my  _ friends _ would like to.” 

“ _ Poydem _ (let’s go),” Natalia pushed her seat back a bit and was about to stand, but then Anton didn’t move.

“ _ Ya kochu ostat’sya _ (I want to stay),” Anton looked at him. He really couldn’t deny him anything. “ _ Nemnogo dol’she _ (just a little longer).” 

“Okay,” he relaxed back in his seat, and Natalia’s sigh was soft, but he could hear it, and so could Rogers if his odd look in her direction was anything to go by. She scooted forward. “For you, we’ll stay.” 

“So you’ve known him for a few months, and now you’ll do everything he asks you to, but Steve, your buddy since childhood, asks you somethin’ and you just ignore him and tell him he’s an asshole?” Barton’s voice, in general, irritated him, but the fact he seemed so upset all the time was also irritating. He was living the life, what did he have to complain about? Why did he feel the need to be angry and upset over every little thing? He didn’t reply, so Barton continued to speak. “You know, if it’s because he lets you fuck him, then that’s sort of a shit relationship. Then again, I mean, Tony Stark in a functional relationship? That’s fuckin’ hilarious, mostly because it’s  _ actually  _ impossible.” The worst part of this wasn’t the fact Barton wouldn’t shut up, or the way Wilson looked like a kicked puppy, the way Natalia was looking at her hands like she was trying to keep them from lashing out, the way Rogers was staring and nodding along to it all, or just the witch’s presence, it was the fact that Anton didn’t say anything to defend himself against it. 

He had known Anton, he had seen how he was in his youth, and he wasn’t quiet. He was running around and insulting people, mostly because he was physically weaker than the majority, but he was sharp witted, he could hurt people with words in ways a fist couldn’t. Yet, he didn’t say anything, he just sat there, quiet, looking down at his plate like…. 

“Clint, that’s enough.” 

“You know, I know he’s your buddy and all, but he can’t just come here and act like an asshole just because he’s fucking our landlord. That’s not how it works. You’re the boss around here, and he’s gonna have to get that, and you need to stop tiptoeing through the tulips for this asshat just because he was a great friend _seventy years_ _ago_ , because he obviously isn’t that great of a friend now,” Barton stood up, “thanks for dinner, it was good.” He walked away. It was silent again. 

“He shouldn’t have said any of that,” Wilson started, hesitant, “but it is a little odd that James has somehow bonded to you but not Steve, who was his friend in the past. It is a little peculiar, and you don’t need to explain anything, but it would be nice if you at least attempted to rekindle some sort of friendship. Steve really does care.” 

“...  _ Steve _ doesn’t know  _ me _ .” 

“But he’s been trying to know you, at least. You’ve been here, you had Tony  _ lie _ for you,” any respect James once had for Wilson (because he hadn’t directly insulted Anton, and he had seemed generally displeased at the discomfort and irritation he caused) was lost. He hadn’t made Tony lie, he just didn’t tell the full truth. He didn’t want to know Rogers, he didn’t want to know anyone else, he had everyone and everything he needed, he didn’t  _ want _ other people. He had Anton, and Natalia, and Pepper, and all the kids and the pets, he didn’t need someone from a past that didn’t belong to him. He didn’t  _ want _ it, either. 

“He wouldn’t like the person I am now. If he’s anything like the little Stevie from my memories, then… he would hate me.” 

“Whatever you did under HYDRA… that wasn’t you.” 

“I know,” James did know that HYDRA wasn’t him, he had been used. “But before that? Before HYDRA? I wasn’t the type of person lil’ Stevie would have liked, I’m still not a person like that. Like from before.” 

“You couldn’t have done anything that bad, you’re my best friend. I love you.” 

“I liked it.” 

“Liked what?” 

“Department X, the Red Room, the…  _ cruelty _ . The kid who went to war didn’t come back the same, the ‘brother’ you saved from Zola was already… deteriorating. When they found me in the Alps… they offered me a new start, of sorts. I went with them, they trained me, I excelled, I did bad things, I liked doing them… it’s where I met Natalia…” he stopped, he couldn’t tell anyone that he had also met Anton there, but they new about Natalia, they all did. “It’s where she learned to do everything.  _ I _ trained her to kill, it wasn’t me under HYDRA’s control, it wasn’t because I was forced. I was asked to, and I did, and… I trained others too, and then, years later, I was  _ sold _ to HYDRA, and that’s why we met again. I was already a changed man, then, I wasn’t bad or wrong because HYDRA made me into a monster… I was always a monster, I just didn’t need to hide it. Then HYDRA… well, they fucked me over, but I will admit that I didn’t want to be with them. I was  _ used _ .” 

The way Anton had previously holding his hand for comfort shifted, because eventually, Anton had pulled his hand back, moving his hand to his thigh. He felt bad, because he hadn’t realize how hard he’d been constricting, but… Anton knew all of this, Natalia knew, Pepper, even FRIDAY knew this. It was easier to lay it out in front of people who are just as unconventional as you were, less of a chance for a bad reaction. These people were  _ good _ , or at least Rogers was, and that wasn’t entirely a bad thing (until he thought he was  _ too good _ , when he thought himself superior because of this false goodness he was told to have), but him? Anton and Natalia? They were like him. Not evil exactly, but they all knew they had skills and had done bad things in the past, and they didn’t mind. It wasn’t something conscious, they weren’t raised ‘good Christian Americans’ they were born and trained to be like him. He trained them! How could they not be tainted somehow. Although he didn’t consider himself tainted, he considered himself dangerous, he had wanted to change, but… it just got clearer and clearer how unlikely it was for change to occur, and how he just had to accept that he wasn’t some superhero who would wear a spandex and refuse to kill people because of his heavenly sense of mortality. 

“Y-y… you don’t know what you’re saying.” 

“I do, actually. I know exactly what I’m saying, and I know that you don’t want to hear it, but that’s how it is. Do you want to know how I deal with my issues, now, Rogers?” So maybe this part was dramatic, but he could be dramatic when the moment called for it (this was definitely one of those moments), “I  _ exterminate _ them. And then I go home, and I snuggle on the couch, because I’m just that  _ well rounded _ .” 

“You didn’t like hurting people in the war. But that was for America, that was necessary… maybe it was all necessary. The--” 

“I assure you, it wasn’t necessary. People who got in the way got a visit that they didn’t survive. It was as simple as that.” 

“You’re not my Bucky.” 

“No, I’m not. I’m glad you know the difference. That difference, though, is what kept me away from you. I know you didn’t want to be associated like someone like myself, so really, I was just saving  _ you _ from my reality, that’s actually benevolent on my part, but that’s okay, I don’t expect a ‘thank you’. I do expect for you to leave me alone, and I want you to realize that whatever person you’ve been pining for since you saw me all dressed up, isn’t here anymore, and the person you did know… even I don’t recognize him, and his memories are all intact upstairs.” 

“What happened to you?” James stood up, he would be leaving now. Anton stood after him and Natalia after him. She nodded at Wilson, who nodded back, and then walked out of the room. Her footsteps didn’t move too far. They just sort of stopped outside the door. 

“I didn’t have to play dancing monkey for anyone anymore, so I didn’t.” 

Anton stayed behind for a moment. 

“What did you do to him?!” Rogers had shouted once he left the room. He hadn’t been too worried for him not to hear it, it seemed, since he was also enhanced and Rogers knew that. 

“Nothing, and that’s what’s making you so upset, because you never saw it, and he never wanted you to. But us monsters have got to stick together. It was nice, dinner I mean, but I don’t think we should do this again,” Anton said, and then he walked out and joined them. The end comment, the ‘dinner was nice’ bit, had been very Tony Stark, but the beginning, that was all Anton. 

James wrapped an arm around his shoulder, and Anton huddled closer. Natalia seemed relatively upset as well, although her upset was more clear in the ice cold blankness that summed up her expression and body language, rather than the way Anton looked like he just wanted to not punch things and maybe cry a little bit. They got back to the house, and Natalia quickly excused herself, pressing a kiss to Anton’s cheek and giving him a side hug before going up the stairs, picking up Claudia as she went. Connor was probably already in her room. Levka joined them on the couch. 

They didn’t watch anything, but Anton did finally fall asleep on his chest, and Levka looked too comfortable to move, so he just relaxed back, moving just enough so he could lay down horizontally. Levka managed to get settled half between his legs, and half on his left leg, where he huffed against his stomach and stared up at him before he fell asleep. Anton had wedged himself between him and the couch. He stayed awake, though. He knew he pestered Anton to go to sleep, but Anton worked all day, he lazed around. He didn’t really do all that much, he could be doing more, he should be doing more. But usually when he corralled Anton into bed, he also got some rest. Not that night though. No, there was too much chaos running around in his head, banging like drums against his skull. The worst part of the night wasn’t that Anton seemed so defeated, although that was a very big part, but it was the fact that something like that was bound to happen again. The Avengers didn’t listen well, and heard what they wanted to hear, so the way they had been pestering them for the past two weeks just to meet them (to skip out on dinner and just come join them for ‘team bonding’) or the way they would blow up Anton’s phone during the first few days (and really until they made a ‘date’ to visit them). 

The likelihood of anything that had been said tonight being taken into consideration, wasn’t likely at all, but maybe with a few more times telling them, they would just accept that things had changed. Things changed, it wasn’t all too hard to think he changed, but for Rogers to consider that maybe he hadn’t know ‘his Bucky’ all as well as he thought he had, well, he doubted Rogers wanted to even think about that possibility. Perhaps he would have to lie to get it through to him, but really, he had meant what he had said. He thought change was what he could do in the beginning, but… he was worn down, he saw fighting, he got to hold guns again, he was allowed to play with knives, he was being made wonderful armor, he didn’t  _ want _ to change anymore. Antoshka wouldn’t leave him because of it, he was actually sure that Anton was attracted to that part of him, and Natalia and Pepper hadn’t looked down on him for it, and none of the kids or pets did either, so… why try to curb his desire, when it was so good to just indulge? 

He couldn’t fix something that wasn’t broken, after all. He had been broken, in the beginning, but… the more memories he had, the more he realized that he was who he was supposed to be, now. Yes, he had moments where he regretted some actions, but didn’t everyone have those memories? Wasn’t it normal for people who didn’t make a game out of hunting people to feel regret, too? It was. He was normal, in his own way, in the same way everyone in their family was normal, at least. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some drama, I guess. I think the next chapter is actually pretty much all fluff, but I'm not sure. I was in an angst-y mood when I wrote this, I think (it was a while ago), so the next chapter, even if I'm not sure, is probably fluff because fluff has to come after angst, that's just how it works. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	23. Steve's POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meanwhile, in Steve's mind...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I thought this was going to be fluff, but then I remember it was that one chapter I wrote in Steve's POV. I'm not sure if this'll happen again, but it may. Just like Sam's POV might happen again. Either way, this was what's next so here it is. 
> 
> Also, I know it took me longer to update, and I have chapter twenty-four written, but it's sixteen pages long, so I think I'll save that for the next update -- this chapter is sort of a cliff-hanger, but not too terribly. All will be explained.

Steve’s POV

After the disaster of a dinner, Steve was content to stay back, hide in his room, and lick his wounds. He was so confused. What did Bucky mean by all of that? When did any of that happen? When did he meet Tony? Why did he go with Tony in the first place? Was it all Natasha’s doing? Did Pepper know about Bucky? She would have to, right? She lives there with them, and she’s been over much more lately, hasn’t she? He was torn between being absolutely horrified that he walked in on _his_ Bucky and Tony having sex on the couch (of all places! That wasn’t love making, that was animalistic fucking, that’s all it was, it didn’t mean anything, right?) and jealous because that was _his_ Bucky. Tony stole _his Bucky_ from him! He couldn’t let that happen again. It was Zola and Red Skull first, then it was Pierce and new HYDRA, and now it was Tony. How could he even do something like that? 

He knew Tony was petty and didn’t like him, but using Bucky was just cruel on a different level. Bucky didn’t deserve any of that, he was better than that, he was better than Tony. 

 _Big man in a suit of armor. Take that off and what are you? -- I know guys with none of that worth ten of you._ He had been talking about Bucky. Obviously. Nobody had known then, and he wasn’t sure if it was still fresh enough in their minds for them to make the connection now. No, he had been talking about Bucky, the same Bucky that was hanging around Tony Stark. He wasn’t sure how much Bucky remembered, but… if he _knew_ , if he remembered what he’d done, then how could he be the same man he knew? If he remembered, then he was _using_ Tony, for whatever it was that he wanted from him. Using the man that he orphaned, for what? What could Bucky be getting out of any of this? Yeah, he was safe here, HYDRA didn’t know where he was, but… he didn’t want to think about if anything he’d said had been the truth. Bucky wasn’t a bad person, he wasn’t some villain, some low life crook. He was a good man, he took care of him, he helped his Ma, he fought in the war, he did everything a young man should do, he did everything a good man would do, but… he had seemed normal when he was rescued. Yeah, he was jittery, he had just been experimented on, tortured by HYDRA, but he had been fine. Then, Steve lost him, again. He was too weak to save him, he was too late to save him. Now Bucky was talking about how much he enjoyed killing people. What had happened? He couldn’t believe that Bucky had always been _that_ way, he couldn’t have been, there was _no possible way_. He had known Bucky for too long for him to hide it that well. 

He ignored Sam’s calls to talk, he ignored Clint’s anger and the way he ranted about how rude and awful Bucky had behaved, he ignored Wanda’s snide remarks about Tony, he isolated himself in his room. The black and white photos of he and Bucky, a few of Peggy, some of their families, the sepia photos of similar subjects, they were all he had left of that time. All he had left, and Bucky. But Bucky claimed to be different. He had no idea how to convince him that he had been tortured, that it had been wrong, that it was understandable he thought those things, he was processing trauma. Sam talked about those sort of symptoms all the time, he was just coping, albeit in a negative and unhealthy way. 

It wasn’t until the middle of April, about three weeks after the disaster of a dinner night, that he settled on what exactly he wanted to say and do. He pondered knocking on the door to Tony’s Side of the residential building, but he asked FRIDAY instead. He knew she wasn’t impartial to them, not in the way Tony claimed her to be. She seemed awful free-thinking to be as they had settled that she would be. He broke those rules, obviously, but he didn’t really expect him not to. Tony just didn’t care about anyone else’s feelings or ideas, it was always about him. He didn’t know how Bucky could be around someone like that for so long. He would be healing and be learning better if he stayed with him and the other Avengers, but he wouldn’t push that, not yet. He just needed to talk to Bucky now. Just set him down so they could get everything in the open, so that they could learn to be friends again, so that Bucky could learn who he was again. Because whatever he thought he was now, whoever he thought he was, wasn’t him, and Steve refused to believe he was ever someone like that. 

So, that was how he and Bucky ended up sitting down on the grass together outside while Bucky’s huge puppy ran around trying to eat the butterflies and birds flying near him. He felt awkward, mostly because Bucky seemed uninterested in anything he had to say, and his blatant dislike and discomfort was obvious. That wasn’t how it was supposed to be. Bucky wasn’t supposed to be staring at his dog like that, he was supposed to be staring at him, like he missed him, not like he missed a dog that was new. 

“So, how has life been with Tony?” 

“It’s been great. The girls and I have been planning his birthday. Pepper got a vacation, Natalia got a huge cake, I got to spend time with Tony and we adopted Levka and Claudia. Natalia suggested a vacation for him, too, but Pepper said she was thinking of having a meal with all of us, of us spending time together, but also eating more cake than we would normally, and me? Well, I just want him happy, and if that means we go to Hungary or something, that’s cool, or if it means I get to bake for him all day, then that’s cool too. But I want to just make sure he knows how much we all care about him, and if that means Natalia and Pepper come up with something obscure that Tony really likes, or if that means I don’t threaten him with a spoon for eating all the icing, then so be it,” Bucky looked happy when he spoke about Tony, and while Steve was glad for that, he was jealous. Bucky was _his_ friend, _he_ loved Bucky, not Tony. 

“Oh, that sounds fun. Maybe we could celebrate with him too. How old will he be, again?” 

“Thirty-two,” Bucky looked unhappy now. “I don’t think celebrating with you would be a wise decision. Perhaps we can arrange something, but Barton is particularly hostile and I don’t want any accidents happening when Tony should be having fun. I’m sure you understand.” Had he just threatened Clint? For Tony’s birthday? That was horrible! 

“Maybe not, but we care about him too. He was our friend first.” 

“I don’t think he was your friend ever,” well that was like a slap to the face, “and I don’t like your assumption, either. I know you’re either upset with me, or you’re currently thinking I’m being tampered with mentally somehow, and I don’t really care what you think, but this is important for you to hear, so let me tell you,” he leaned forward, and before Steve could react there was a metal fist clenched around the front of his T-shirt. “Tony is _not_ hurting me; Tony is mine, _ponimaesh’_ (understand)?” For a moment, Steve was horrified and terrified in equal measures. This was _not_ how this was supposed to be, this wasn’t how any of this was supposed to be. He was between upset at Bucky because how could he just keep not noticing how hard he was trying? He was his best friend, Steve loved him, maybe a bit more than he had any right to, but… Bucky didn’t get that, he just wasn’t getting it at all. He wanted to just tell Bucky exactly how much he missed him, how happy he was to have had him back but this Bucky didn’t care about him, he didn’t even _like_ him. And Steve knew it sounded mean and wrong, but Bucky was his first, and so was Tony, and they couldn’t just leave him behind now. That’s not how this was supposed to work, and it wasn’t how Steve was gonna let it work because dammit, he cared too much to have this _hatred_ shoved in his face as if _he_ was in the wrong. 

“Why do you get him? Why do you get everything now? You had it all, back home. You got the girls, you got the friends, you got into the army, and what? I was ‘little Stevie’ and I looked up to you and now you just tell me that none of that was important, that you were just pretending to care, and,” he took a harsh breath that felt sharp and painful when he inhaled, “now you get to just leave me, _again_ ? You get to take Tony and leave me like someone who isn’t worth your time, your affection? I stuck by you, like you stuck by me. What happened to _‘till the end of the line_ , huh? What happened to _that_ ? You’re just gonna throw it away because Tony ‘cares’ for you? He doesn’t care, Bucky, he doesn’t know _how_ . He’s _using_ you, or you’re using _him_ , and he may be angry with me, but he _is_ my friend, and no matter what’s going on between you doesn’t mean this,” he waved his hands around, “relationship, is condoned. This _relationship_ doesn’t just allow you to get away with threatening and hurting team members. I’m not sure how you remember being a team player, but you’re not doing it right!” 

Bucky had dropped his shirt, sighed and moved back to his spot. He looked so cold, like none of this was affecting him any more than a gnat buzzing in his ear would. He whistled, and Levka (and really, what kind of name was that?) went running to him, rubbing his head against his legs before moving to him. Steve offered a soft pat against the dog’s head. The dog must have sensed his sadness, his negative emotions, because he focused on him. Sam said dogs could do that, that’s why they helped with therapy and trauma. They could soothe emotions or something that sounded magical rather than real. But Sam was usually right. He had been right about this, hadn’t he? Tony was dating an assassin, he wasn’t HYDRA, he was hurt too… How had all this gone so wrong in such an epic fashion? 

“Just _stay away_ from him. You don’t even know what it is you’re picking at but if you don’t stop it will explode and a lot of people will end up wounded. You don’t want to see that; you don’t want to _cause_ that sort of damage. If you want to talk again, then we keep it away from topics like that, like Tony, like the past. Talk about the future, talk about the present, just… don’t bring _emotional_ subjects like that up unless you want to fight. _Ko mne_ (come on), Levka.” Bucky and the dog both disappeared inside the building. The part of the building he couldn’t access without permission or without breaking in. What sort of person gave that power to _Tony Stark_? He didn’t have the clearance to make such a decision, did he? He would talk it over with the team, or at least he _actual_ _team_ that _actually_ cared about their internal hierarchy and the fact he was _team leader_ and deserved some respect. With Bucky looming over Tony’s shoulder like some sort of guard wolf, he couldn’t just take up his issues with him without making Bucky mad, or without starting a fight. 

He would do that later, though. He walked around the building, not sure if his legs were finally degrading or if this was that ‘depressed’ feeling that Sam mentioned every now and again. He wasn’t sure, and he didn’t hold much stock in the current trends of psychology, but Sam did a good job despite that wonky science. He made his way to his bedroom, gently brushing off Clint’s and Wanda’s concern. They probably needed him. They were probably suffering too, he wasn’t sure from what, but Bucky and Clint hadn’t exactly had the best interaction, and they had been so helpful and optimistic about Bucky that maybe they felt betrayed. He didn’t want them to feel that way. He didn’t know everything would be so skewed now. He didn’t know what to do, how to deal with anything, how to handle this entire issue… he just wanted things to go back to the way they were, he had been wanting that for the past five years he had been awake, but they never happened, it was just like the world wanted to keep him down, but he couldn’t fall. He was Captain America, he couldn’t crumble. He had to be strong, support them. He could do that. The Avengers had always been the underdog, they helped the common people. He just hadn’t expected their bully to come in the form of one of the best fighters and women he knew, Natasha, and the man who had protected him, who had saved him, who he loved so much, Bucky. Tony, well, he always thought he was a bit too different from the rest of the team. He had taken Natasha to his side, poisoned her against them, probably bribed her. He wouldn’t hold it against her, Tony had really fancy things that she probably understood, while he didn’t see the appeal. He had just hoped she would be stronger. 

This all started around Ultron. This all started then and it was done, but how did he fix this fallout? It had been a long year of them splitting from the inside, and he didn’t want to think about it, but if Bucky had been with them for this long, since around the time everything was shot to hell, then maybe he was instigating this split. He didn’t want to blame Bucky for anything, but there were conflicting emotions, and he didn’t know how to handle them. He didn’t know how to handle this, he couldn’t handle any of this. He may have grown a foot and beefed up but he was still the small Stevie sometimes, he still felt like him, he still thought like him, he just… he just didn’t know what to do anymore. He had been searching for his Bucky, and then Tony and Bucky just flip everything over so nonchalantly that he was left reeling. He just…. 

Steve curled up in his bed. Just a few days, maybe, and he’d get out of this funk, because that’s what it was. He’d be better then. He’d find himself, he’d fix this mess, he’d hold them up, because he was the captain of this team, he was Captain America, and he couldn’t let this mess tear them apart anymore than it has without some major fight… but that was the reason he was so lost and hurt, because that major fight, it wasn’t between him and Tony, it was between him and _Bucky_. 

***

It had been Bucky’s offer to talk to him again. He asked to not talk about two things, Tony and the past. He could do that. He decided that he was alright, but maybe he could learn about this Bucky, new Bucky, and he could love this one too. He loved the old one, of course he did, and when Bucky wasn’t rearing to fight, he was actually pretty decent. He was nice. He hardly got emotional about things, his tone barely raised, sometimes his inflection was so blank that it made him nervous that he had turned back into the Winter Soldier or something, but then Bucky would smile at him and brush it all off on whatever he was thinking about. Bucky _was_ smiling, right? Probably. Why wouldn’t he smile? He wasn’t so conceited to think he was loved by everyone, but he had always been Bucky’s best friend, it wouldn’t make sense if that background knowledge and those memories, even if they couldn’t talk about them, were there, so Bucky had to remember him too, had to like him too. No matter what Bucky said, his Bucky (the one from back home) wasn’t the same, and he hadn’t been pretending. He couldn’t fake years and years of care like that. No. Even Bucky, who he know could do just about everything, couldn’t pull that off. 

They would ‘hang out’ three days a week. Sometimes their moments together were shorter than others. The longest they had spent together was two hours and thirteen minutes, one of their Sunday sessions in the morning after his run. He would meet with Bucky while he pet Levka and scratched behind his ears. He was a massive animal, that was for sure. The shortest had been a Thursday, and that had lasted seven minutes before he had said something that offended Bucky (he hadn’t meant to make him upset!). He refrained from comparing Bucky and Wanda’s situations. Thankfully he realized the difference between his and Wanda’s experience. He had been there for many more years than Wanda, he could understand that Bucky’s experience seemed worse since it was longer. He didn’t make that mistake again. 

Three days: Sunday mornings, Tuesday afternoons, and Thursday mornings. He tried to bond with Bucky, but it was hard to find common ground between them, outside of Tony that was, but it was _technically_ a ‘banned topic’ but he found that if he didn’t mention any of Tony’s flaws, then Bucky would pitch in with short anecdotes of how they interacted. He could blow smoke and give fake compliments about Tony if that meant he got to see into their relationship a bit more. It was mean and dishonest, but he doubted Tony would have let that stop him had they been in the same positions, and while he typically refrained from doing anything Tony would, this was about _Bucky_. It was worth the exception. 

Another banned topic was Natasha, apparently. Bucky seemed to care about her a lot, but considering he semi-raised her, he could understand that. He had raised his sisters and him, sort of, and while it was different, it wasn’t in some ways. Bucky had always been good with kids, he was good with everyone. He was too lovable to not charm anyone. Despite this Bucky’s gruffness, there was still that charm that he knew had to be what drew Tony to him in the first place. 

Tony, though… he hadn’t seen him since dinner. He didn’t even mind that they had grown so distant. He hadn’t minded before, and now he got to spend time with Bucky, and he just blocked out that Bucky and Tony were together, he could ignore that just while he and Bucky spoke and had a good time. Like they used to. It changed, though, on Tony’s birthday, and he knew where he had gone wrong, but… he doubted anyone could fault him for such a slip up. He had been in love with him for years, it wasn’t an accident, but it wasn’t entirely purposeful either, he just misread the signs, he supposed. It was just a confused gesture, and he would apologize accordingly. 

(Hopefully it didn’t mean their visits would stop happening, though.)

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope that was decent. 
> 
> Yeah, there are some issues going on in Steve's head, but he's confused and conflicted with the best of 'em. But he's an asshole about it so we - I - don't feel too terrible about being harsh on him.


	24. James' POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anton's birthday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I don't like this chapter, but I'm honestly not sure if I don't like it because it's not good and chaotic, or if it's because I think most everything I create is garbage -- but you get it all anyway. 
> 
> I think this is the first slice of payback and punishment that most of us have been waiting for. It get's violent and gorey, and then there's sex. My favourite things, and hopefully yours too (you're reading a Winter Soldier/Tony Stark work, I hope you're at least a bit into that because otherwise I have no idea what's going on in your head). 
> 
> Have fun with this. I did, which is probably why it's seems so messy. 
> 
> Also, I'm not sure what I'm doing but I really like Rhodes. I like Pepper too (which doesn't seem too much like it in my other fic) but I need m,ore conflict because I'm weird, so there's that.

James’ POV

It was a bright May day. The twenty-ninth, a Sunday. Anton’s birthday. He would be thirty-two, or he  _ was _ thirty-two, now. He had taken them to bed after a shower where he washed Anton’s hair while Anton pouted and was only appeased by the promise for cake, cuddles, and the wondrous thing that was birthday sex the following day. So, when he woke up early and exchanged himself for something else for Anton to latch onto, he didn’t feel too bad about going to make said cake that he promised Anton. 

The kids came upstairs, lacking their tools so they could assist him with baking. He wrapped them both in aprons because he knew that it took too much time and grueling effort to get them to let him clean their joints if they got messy, so aprons to keep the mess on their bodies to a minimum were absolutely necessary. He had just stopped DUM-E from running around with buttermilk when Natalia entered the kitchen. She stumbled over to the coffee pot and poured herself a cup (he hadn’t had any, but he probably should, the kids were wearing him out already -- maybe he  _ was _ getting old). She sat at the table, probably not awake enough to laugh at him. He jumped and skid across the floor to where DUM-E had decided to drop the milk. He caught it, and only got about a fourth of a cup splashed on him in the process. That was progress. He stood up. 

“Please don’t do that again,” he walked back to the counter and handed DUM-E the things to pour into the bowl, since U was mixing. Perhaps that was where he made a mistake, but he didn’t trust DUM-E to not add anything toxic, so he gave him what he could add and kept everything else locked away just so he couldn’t decide to add a whole bottle of drain cleaner (which he almost did, once). He poured the batter into two pans and put them in the heated oven. He handed them each a spoon. “Go offer them to Natalia, but don’t give them to Levka.” DUM-E and U both beeped before rolling off toward Natalia. 

“Thanks guys,” she took both spoons, “helping your old man in the kitchen this early? I hope he pays you well.” 

“It’s a mutually beneficial relationship. They help me bake, I get some practice climbing when we play hide-n-seek,” DUM-E beeped at him, “and it’s  _ technically _ not cheating if I can get up there without help. We all know how much I love technicalities. Also, you hide in the same place every time. That’s why I win.” He beeped again, this time whining and rolling to him and poking him in the stomach. DUM-E and U seemed to always have something to add. He wasn’t sure when he learned to speak robot, but it wasn’t so much as knowing what they were saying, as it was understanding what they were trying to convey. It was weird, and it didn’t make sense, but it worked and that’s what mattered. “I chased you for twenty minutes this morning, so I don’t have to play today,” beep, “now you know not to run off like that.” This time U whirred, and he sighed. She sounded so sad. “Okay, okay, fine. We’ll play an extra two rounds tomorrow.” 

“You’re such a nerd,” Natalia said from her place at the table. “But you’re good at this cooking thing you do. I remember you promising Tony something about frosting, but, ya know, I gotta make sure it’s not poisoned or anything, so I also get that spoon.” 

“Pepper already at work?” 

“Sort of, she had to go to the airport. She wouldn’t tell me why, but I think it has something to do with Rhodes.” James paused. Rhodes? The guy who ‘lived’ on his and Natalia’s floor but he’d never met. As in Anton’s ‘best friend’ since MIT? She seemed to know what he was thinking because she added, “Yeah, Colonel James Rhodes, but I call him Jim because you’re my only James.” 

“I’m not sure whether I should be worried or glad that I translated your words in my mind as: ‘you’re my only  _ hope _ .’ Either way, I still have to meet with Rogers for our ‘morning chat’ or whatever he’s calling it. He doesn’t pester FRIDAY as much, and she deserves a break after dealing with their shit all the time anyway. She’s ordered six new controllers in the past month alone, and she had to deal with Barton’s bad attitude each time. Anyway, hopefully I’ll be back by the time he gets here then. I should probably make the frosting before I go, so you can get the spoon before anyone else, anyway. I left a note, I didn’t want to wake him up because it took him so long to sleep, but I’ll be back quick. So, it’ll be fine, right? You think it’ll be good?” 

“I think you’re worrying over nothing. Make the frosting and get to Steve before he bangs down the door again. I’ll let Tony know you’re just out making your guest appearance before he freaks out. And I won’t eat  _ all  _ the frosting. Pinkie promise.” 

“Alright,” he added things together, and let DUM-E stir this time. He gave him a spoon to give to Natalia before he put cling wrap over the top and put it in the fridge. He could probably keep it out, but he didn’t trust the kids to not tamper with it, or the cats from knocking it over just because they felt like it, or even Natalia, who would sooner blame the cats or kids for doing something than admitting she did it (which was, to normal people, probably a bad thing, but it made James both amused and irritated because it meant he’d have to make more but she was, well, she was just amusing in general). He grabbed Natalia’s coffee and took a drink before coughing. “Ugh, that’s terrible.” 

“I didn’t add a half a pound of sugar,” she took her cup back and went to the sink. 

“How can you drink it like that?” 

“Stop stalling, get Steve done now so you can come back quicker.” He left on that note, making sure that the kids got into their lift and went back to the workshop before he took Levka outside with him so they could meet with Rogers. Levka was busy attacking the sprinklers to pay them much attention (the sprinkler had been Pepper’s suggestion, she didn’t tell them how she knew he would enjoy it so much, but he loved it), so he and Rogers were up against the wall of the building. 

“It’s Tony’s birthday today.” 

“It is,” James was always wary when Anton was brought up. Mostly because that sometimes meant Rogers was going to forfeit their chat for the day, and while that wasn’t typically a bad thing, it meant Levka couldn’t play as much as he wanted to, and it meant that he would have to ignore the sour mood and just try to act like he wasn’t plotting a very graphic murder - he had many, many ideas on a normal day, they went crazy on his bad days. 

“I remember his birthday a few years ago. He told us to ignore it, but we tried to celebrate anyway. He ran off with half the cake and didn’t leave his lab for two days, but he had seemed to have been happier then… ya know, before ‘everything’ went down.” When he said ‘everything’ he meant Ultron, or at least he usually did. Rogers knew that the only ‘past’ they could talk about without ending up beating each other up was moments where Anton had fun, or an anecdote of him doing something adorable or nerdy, and the same with Natalia (Rogers didn’t really know or interact with Pepper, apparently). 

“That sounds very much like something he would do. He steals cupcakes, and sometimes cookies, and hides in the workshop. He blamed the theft on DUM-E once, but I’m sure you know how unlikely that would be. There was that one time he ate the last plain glazed doughnut and hid from Natalia in the vents for a day. He didn’t do that again, that’s for sure.” 

“How did Tony get into the vents?” 

_ Because he’s trained to do all sorts of things _ \- “He knew Natalia wouldn’t look there, so he managed.” 

“He’s so tiny, I’m surprised he doesn’t hide there more often. He always complained about Clint climbing in the vents. He’d say they weren’t human-sized or strong enough, and then explain how exactly he built them before lecturing us on the ways to not break his vents, mostly by not getting inside of them. He’d get really worked up.” 

_ Probably upset about poor technique that was breaking his vents.  _ “I’m surprised he only lectured him.”  _ because if it were me, I’d shove him in the vent and let them starve until he managed to get out on his own.  _ “He can get very passionate about breaking the things he designed.” 

“Yeah, we always just suggested he design stuff that wouldn’t break with superpowered people using them. Then again, we weren’t really allowed into the lab, so I’m sure he didn’t know what the limits were. Well, yeah, I miss him sometimes. Not sure if he feels the same, probably doesn’t. He’s never liked me. Ever since I brought up How-- um, actually, nevermind. Uh, well, I guess you should probably get back to Tony, huh? Well, the Avengers are here if he wants to see us or anything, I heard that Mario Kart is a fun game that multiple people could play. That might be fun. You could join this time, since we know about you now. Oh, but before you leave, I was curious, ‘cause there’s this new candy shop. I mean, normally it wouldn’t be that big of a deal, but they apparently hold this huge selection. Clint mentioned Wanda getting candies that she thought she would only find back home, and maybe there’s some stuff that you or Natasha might like, so… I mean, there’s also classic candy, but I don’t know. Maybe you might be interested going on Tuesday?” 

“Where is it?” 

“Uh, just by the old Avengers Tower. It’ll be a thirty minute drive, but hopefully it’s worth it.” 

“Maybe. We could go Tuesday if you want, I think. Levka!” the dopey dog, because he was bigger than any puppy ought to be by now, ran at him and crashed into his chest, getting mud on his shirt. That was alright, he needed to change into some actual clothes today anyway. He waved at Rogers and went inside with Levka. He cleaned up the muddy prints and wiped the door from where Levka decided to shake off. He was being blow dried by Natalia in the kitchen, and he went to his bedroom. Anton was still asleep, but when he closed the drawer, after grabbing clean clothes, Anton was awake and up on his feet. “I’m sorry Antoshka. I didn’t mean to wake you. Your dog decided to get me muddy… Everything okay? You seem a little more jumpy than usual. You usually aren’t ready to fight when you first wake up.” 

“Why is he always  _ my _ dog when he does something you don’t like?” Anton sat back down on the bed. He didn’t seem to be in a good mood at all. Where it was typically playful, his words seemed stilted, he seemed edgy. “Yeah, I’m fine. Sorry, I didn’t mean to snap at you. It’s just… don’t really have good birthday memories, and I didn’t have the best dreams.” 

“Hopefully we can make new, better memories then. It’s your birthday, I’ll tell you what you told me:  _ we should celebrate the day you were born because if you hadn’t been born, then I wouldn’t have met you and that would suck _ ,” Anton cracked a grin. 

“Did I really say that? I thought it sound a bit more poetic, but whatever, I’m not a poet. I’m a simple kind of man.” 

“There’s nothing simple about you, and I love it,” he pulled his shirt off, tossed his socks to the side, and kicked his longue pants off. “But, I’m sorry that you had bad dreams. You’re birthday’s gonna be fun. The kids and I already got a whole thing ready for you, well, mostly. I should probably go check on that, actually,” he got redressed and pulled Anton up from the bed, “here, come on, I’ll make you some coffee.” 

He checked on the cakes in the oven, just a bit longer, and then he went to make Anton’s coffee. He handed it to him and moved around. Natalia had moved on, since he hadn’t seen her in the living room or kitchen. Sitting at the table, he grunted when Levka jumped up, trying to curl on his lap, but he was too big now. He tried to assist Levka, but the dog realized he probably wouldn’t fit, and jumped down. He went to Anton and did the same thing, with the same result. He huffed and curled up by Anton’s bare feet. 

“Where’re the ladies?” 

“Natalia, well, I don’t know where she went, but Pepper went out before I got up.” 

“Oh…,” Anton paused, and looked down at his mug, “work call?” 

“Not that I know of. She went to the airport.” 

“Really? Where’s she going? I didn’t know that--” 

“She’s not going anywhere. She’s picking someone up. She should be home in an hour at the most. Don’t worry, she wouldn’t abandon you on your birthday, and I think if something happened at work, she’d ask someone else to take care of it. From what I heard from Natalia, she has gotten more ‘authoritative.’ That was the word Natalia used, and I don’t want to dig too deep in what that’s supposed to mean.” 

“More authoritative? Is that even possible? She was practically the John Connor of our army. If she said jump, I’d ask ‘how high?’ ya know?” 

“I think I understand,” he got up from the table to pull the cakes out. They were nice and golden. He set them out on the cooling rack. “Until then, Natalia told me the frosting was good, but I did promise you all the icing in the world a while ago, so…” 

That’s how Anton ended up against the wall, legs wrapped around his waist, and holding onto James shoulders while he was being thoroughly kissed. A quick rip of fabric and his shirt was gone. He held onto James while his boxers were removed (James was more than strong enough to hold Anton, and Anton didn’t even seem to mind that James held his entire weight with one hand and stripped him with the other). 

“I was thinking more frosting, less kniving, but I can’t say that I mind,” Anton said as he wrapped an arm around James’s shoulders and pulled the knife from the sheath against the small of his back, from the holster around his waist, with the other. “But if it’s allowed, I wanna use this bad boy… I made this one.” He touched the tip of the blade against the hollow of James’ neck, just between where his collarbone met and above his sternum. 

“You did.” 

“You always carry this one?” Anton slid dragged the knife down and with a coy smirk he easily shred down his shirt, leaving no cut behind (although there was an irritated red line that faded near instantly) and then sliced up his sleeves and tore the shirt off. 

“Of course, it’s the best knife I own,” Anton slid the knife back into the sheath. 

“You bet your ass it is. I only make the best for the best,” Anton held one around around his neck and started to tug at the front of his jeans. He clipped the lock on the front of his holster and unbuttoned his jeans. “I’m making a new holster for you, that one wasn’t as  _ efficient _ as I would expect.” 

“You mean it took too long to take my cock out?” 

“What else would I mean?” Anton had wilted during the removing of his ‘inefficient’ holster, but James just grazed his metal fingers over him, and a moment later he was hard against his stomach and leaking. “C’mon, you have lube right?” 

“I wouldn’t have started this unless I did,” he leaned forward and nipped his earlobe, “I would never do something so cruel to such a good boy.” Anton bit his lip, pupils growing impossibly wider. He didn’t exactly wait for Anton to say much anything, since it was rather easy for him to keep Anton against him with a single arm, he popped the cap off the lube from his back pocket with his teeth and slid it between his hip and the weeping band of his briefs. He slicked up his fingers as best he could (since it was all with one hand - but that was more than enough, if need be) and pressed them against Anton’s opening. His legs tightened around him for a second before he relaxed again. 

“I’ve done a lot of things, but fucking against a wall isn’t one of them.” 

“The shower wall doesn’t count.” 

“No, ‘cause I had my feet on the ground then.” 

“Wanna stand on your own?” 

“No,” Anton huffed and he slid a finger inside him. The preparation wasn’t exactly as long as it should have been, the annoying part of regenerative abilities like theirs, but thankfully, Anton wasn’t hurt, and it wasn’t long before Anton dug his nails into his shoulder, the other hand pumping him to completion. 

“ _ Ms. Potts has arrived. Should I warn her of your current state? _ ” 

“Keep her away from the kitchen!” Anton leaned his head forward, his forehead resting against James’ shoulder. “So close… we are having more birthday sex later, right?” 

“Insatiable,” he said, “but yes. Anything you want.” 

The door to the house opened, and there were footsteps, but they weren’t nearing the kitchen now. He moved one of the hands holding Anton’s waist up, his metal thumb brushing against Anton’s right nipple. Anton grunted and pressed a kiss to his neck. Footsteps were coming closer to the kitchen now. No, no, Pepper wouldn’t be happy to walk in on this. Maybe she’d make an exception, it’s Anton’s birthday… but those weren’t Pepper’s footsteps. 

“What the fuck is this?” Yeah, that was definitely  _ not _ Pepper. 

“Goddammit Sour Patch! Let a man come, won’t you?” Footsteps receded, but the quiet grumbling about ‘this is bullshit’ and ‘I come home for a birthday and I get mooned in my own kitchen,’ ‘that is blasphemy and he knows it,’ and ‘I’m never eating in there again.’ 

Anton didn’t seem at all disturbed by the interruption, and the way he moaned and tightened around him was enough to get him off too. Anton was still clinging to him. 

“Alright, I need to get dressed. Rhodey’s not gonna be all too happy about seeing that first thing upon getting home.” Anton pulled his boxers from the floor on, “and I should probably wipe the come off, that may make things, uh, less sticky.” Anton kissed his cheek and left the kitchen quickly. James fixed himself up, tucking himself away, buttoning the pants, locking the holster, and then picking up the shirts and taking them to the workshop so they could be cut up and used as rags because Anton didn’t want to ruin fancy rags with grease, even if he could just buy new ones. James agreed, buying new ones was a waste when they could just shred their own. 

He came back up from the workshop and found this new guy, James ‘Jim’ Rhodes, on the couch. 

“I thought you’d gone upstairs with Tones, but that’s alright. It’s better this way,” he motioned to the chair beside where he was on the couch, “come on, sit down. Let’s  _ talk _ .” James didn’t really want to talk to this man, but he sat down anyway, because despite never seeing him (where had he been when this whole ‘Ultron’ and ‘team Tony V. the world’ went down?), he was Anton’s friend. He was still shirtless, and he crossed his arms over his chest. 

“So, who are you? Tones’ never mentioned you, and yeah, I’ve been gone for a bit, but I come home to hear all about you being some sort of friend of Tony’s from his kid days, and that you’re now in a ‘relationship’ with him, while Natashalie, the spy, is hooking up with Pepper? Also, the giant ass dog already jumped on me and nearly ripped my throat out, so I don’t know what you’ve been teaching him, but… that’s not the way I’m typically greeted when I get home.” 

“I’m James, just James at the moment. And I’d be surprised if had he mentioned me at all. I’m not a topic that he spoke often of before, and I don’t know how much you know so we can gloss right over that. Also, Natalia and Pepper are adorable together, they’ve gotten over a lot together, I’m proud of them, honestly.” 

“Natashalie? The same one that stabbed Tony in the neck and then threatened him? The same one that spun him into weeks of self hatred and self sabotage? You’re  _ glad _ she’s with Pepper? Sweet Pepper, who is the very foundation this entire family relies on? How long have you been here anyway? How can I trust you? As Tony’s best dad-friend, I have the duty to keep him safe from assholes who want to hurt him or use him. That, from where I’m standing, includes you and the spider.” James stared at Rhodes for a few seconds. Should he let that anger show?  _ Him _ hurting Anton? That would  _ never _ happen, at least never again, and never on purpose if it was to happen again. And ‘the spider’? Natalia? A spider, just like Anton was a spider. He took a deep breath, and while Rhodes was as stone faced as Natalia could get, he had a feeling the man was smug, and took his silence as some form of admitting his guilt in reference to wanting to use Anton. 

But could he really be upset when Antoshka had a friend willing to sass him, the Winter Soldier. Even if the man didn’t know who he was, he did see his fancy metal arm, and the knife against his back when he walked in on a moment he really shouldn’t have. 

“Well, that’s the same issue Pepper had when she first met me. She didn’t trust me either, and she was smart to be wary. But, you said it yourself, Pepper is the key stone to this whole family, and she trusts me now, shouldn’t that offer me some sort of trust, even the barest amount, from you? And Natalia has done bad things, haven’t we all? But for those wrongdoings, she’s been redeeming herself. Who do you think was taking care of Anton when Pepper was busy trying to manage the press disaster of the Ultron incident, when  _ you left him alone _ ? That was Natalia. 

“I still don’t understand their reasoning for their actions, but they found me and brought me here. And they offered me a home. I didn’t seek them out, I didn’t want to take or gain anything in the beginning. Six months ago, I probably would have been too meek and nervous to even face you right now, but I’m not now. Mostly because, no offense Colonel, I dealt with the Avengers, or at least I dealt with them in a way that Anton found suitable. I don’t understand his care for them, they would be better off  _ removed from their stations _ in a rather permanent manner, but I won’t do that, because Anton has asked me not to. And Rogers isn’t exactly a scary guy, not when I have the same enhancements and then some, as well as training he will never understand, but I deal with him, keep him away from Anton, keep him away from our home.

“So, what lets me know that I can trust  _ you _ ?” 

“The fact I’ve known him and practically shielded him from the age sixteen to his mid twenties before I absolutely couldn’t stay with him, I’m in the Air Force but I think you probably knew that, and even then, I was there. I was there as often as I could. That sort of friendship, that sort of desire to keep him safe, doesn’t just grow in six months,” there were footsteps coming down the stairs, they weren’t as light as Natalia’s, and they weren’t as intentional as Pepper’s. He had said six months ago, he’d been there for nearly a year now, but Rhodes didn’t know that. “And just so you know, I did everything I could to keep him safe. Look, I don’t think I like you all that much, you seem like a smug asshole, but your arm. Tones wouldn’t have made you an arm ‘just because’, he would have made it because he cared. So, for today, let’s just get along, but I’m watching you, ‘just-James,’ because I don’t trust you, and if Pepper’s been taken by the dark side, then I’m gonna be watching you enough for the both of us, and if I see one slip up, one suspicious thing that indicates you’re any threat to Tony, then I’m going to overrule his choice, because as much as I love him he’s not exactly a good judgement of character, and make sure you’re  _ gone _ . Understand?” 

“Perfectly.” 

“Please no threatening each other,” Anton said, walking in from the stairs, “Also, James, this is James, but I call him Rhodey, and Rhodey, this is James. He’s just James, but Snowflake isn’t an uncommon nickname,” Anton sat on his lap, which seemed to make Rhodes’ eyes narrow at him. He wrapped his arm around Anton’s waist. “Seriously, I’m gone for barely ten minutes and I come back to hear you guys talk about killing each other. But Rhodey, my wonderful Rhodey-bear, he’s cool. I heard that, by the way, and I don’t have  _ that _ terrible of a choice of friends.” 

“Not going to agree or disagree with that,” Rhodes rested his head back on the couch, “not gonna touch it with a ten foot pole. Seriously, though, the kitchen is a sacred place. Or at least it used to be at the Tower.” 

“Yeah, well, things are a bit different around here now, but you don’t have to see that again. I mean, we can’t be reunited without you seeing me in some weird places doing weird things with weird people, can we?” Anton had held onto his metal hand. There was something about the tense and nervous way Anton was holding himself, whereas he was typically rather free and quick to make a violent, assassin joke, which may have been the problem. Rhodes didn’t know about anything that had happened, he didn’t know, and Anton was understandably nervous because of it. Rhodes continued to glare at him, but he held onto Anton’s waist, just there because Anton needed that. He needed to know that he wasn’t going to be alone, because James wasn’t about to leave, and he was sure Natalia would rather chop her own arm off that not have anyone to rant about how her arm would ache from being handcuffed to her bed back in the Red Room, or nobody to spar with until they were both bloody and laughing at each other because someone did something stupid. And Pepper, well, despite the rocky beginning, he respected Pepper, and Pepper didn’t hate him, so that was good. They were friends, he would say. He had actual friends, and so did Anton, and that wasn’t going to change now that Rhodes showed up. (Shouldn’t Rhodes’ appearance have been great news for Anton? He was acting friendly, and Rhodes didn’t see anything too different with their interaction since he hadn’t said anything, but he felt the tenseness in Anton, he could see and hear the stilted way he was talking - even if he sounded normal to other people. Natalia, Pepper, and he were, thankfully, able to read Anton pretty well nowadays.) 

“ _ Hey, Da, Mr. Rogers says there’s an emergency. _ ” 

“He has the  _ worst _ timing  _ ever _ ,” Anton said, but James wasn’t sure he was being honest because he seemed almost relieved of having something to break the tension in the room, “Alright, baby girl, what’s going on, who does he need, and where does he need us?” 

“ _ He has asked that Mr. James and Ms. Natasha come to the front immediately but he would like to keep you on standby as well as Colonel Rhodes _ ,” there was a pause, and James held back the aggravating groan because he already dealt with Rogers, he was supposed to not bother them again until Tuesday, “ _ he says that the Vision and Maximoff have started to fight… she just threw Vision through a wall! She said  _ he _ was attacking  _ her _! _ ” 

“Hey, calm down, sweetheart, alright? Can you make contact with Vision? I haven’t been able to hear him for so long… I’m a horrible father,” at FRIDAY’s ‘I still can’t access him!’, Anton was on his feet, and he was walking towards their door, calling Natalia and Pepper while Rhodes continuously asked what was happening. James was on his feet, and when the door opened, he followed, and Natalia, Pepper, and Rhodes followed behind them. Natalia pressed a gun into his hand and flipped the safety on her own off. They ran into the common area. The furniture was flipped over, there was a hole in the wall that Vision was crawling out of. He looked generally disoriented, extremely human despite his bright, artificial colouring, and was trying to balance himself on his feet. Pepper went to him and helped him stand, grabbing the wooden chair flying at them and throwing it at the wall to her side. 

“Tony?! Ms. Potts?! No, you get back. Both of you, this is too dangerous. You’re not even in your suit!?” Rogers was shouting and Wilson was trying to soothe him, while Barton and the witch were ready to fight. Barton had an arrow nocked and aimed at Anton, and the witch had already sent blasts of red out of her palms, and there was now furniture flying around, supported by her signature scarlet magic. 

“That’s my son!” Anton was helping Pepper with Vision. An arrow was shot, and James moved to take it for Anton. That was stupid, but worth it. He broke the end off the arrow, Barton didn’t even looked worried, and the witch seemed to think she was untouchable. To everyone else here, she was, but to him? An experiment tasked with terminating her victims, no, he was immune, and he had never been so thankful for being poked and prodded for hours by sharp instruments and being pumped full of questionable chemicals. He handed the gun to Rhodes, who was beside Anton, and glancing between him and the witch with a slack jaw. James jumped forward, grabbing the bow from Barton and snapping it. Must have been an old model, Anton wouldn’t have made something so easily broken (or maybe Barton just wore it far too thin). He grabbed the knife from the back of his jeans. 

“Walk away, or I’ll kill him, and then I’ll kill you.” 

“You haven’t the strength, Soldier,” she flinched and frowned when the magic sent at him just sort of dissipated. She tried it again, and he pressed the blade closer to Barton’s throat, blood beading at the tip. “I’ll kill  _ him _ . You let Clint go, now!” he knew exactly who he was talking about. 

“No, no, you kill that asshole. We’ll stop her. We’re all fine, I promise!” Anton said. And despite the strength he knew Anton had and the way he could come off as composed when he was really a mess on the inside, he couldn’t hear a lie. He was truly sure that they’d be fine, safe even. He pulled the knife back, and just as the witch looked like she had won, he slammed it down into Barton’s chest, just a bit too right to hit the heart, but perfectly aimed to hit between a rib. 

At this point, everyone was ignoring the way Rogers was screaming, confused, at everything and Wilson had pulled him to the side, holding him back (although if Rogers wanted to, he was sure he could break out of that ‘hug’ Wilson wrapped him in). The witch lifted herself into the air, and started reaching her magic out for Anton. 

His Antoshka. James dragged the knife down. He couldn’t just cut through bone with a knife like this, that wasn’t how it worked, the force in which he dragged his blade just broke the bone so the blade could move through a passage. He essentially eviscerated Barton, who was still living in horrible pain, and would probably die of choking on blood or bleeding out, which was perfectly fine for the Soldier. He stood up, ready to jump forward if necessary, but the magic that was sent at the group was swirled and sucked into their chests, but they didn’t react to it. They seemed immune. He noticed that there was a brief red flash from beneath Anton’s shirt, the same place his arc reactor was. Oh. The necklaces that Anton had made. Anton gently, but quickly handed Vision over to Natalia and Pepper to help carry him. James saw Anton, for the first time in a very long time, move in an actual fight with an actual intent to permanently maim or kill someone, and it was beautiful. 

By this point, it was common knowledge that there were little quirks that they had, all of them. Carrying weapons around was one of them. They could be the last living people on the planet, and they would still arm themselves when they woke up, or keep guns and knives near them in case something happened. Anton was no different, although he hid it better and rarely brought it up. 

Anton rolled under the couch thrown at him, and pulled a knife from his ankle as he did so. He used the momentum of his roll combined with the force of pushing himself up from the ground to jump up and grab the witch’s ankle. He used the knife to slash the back of her ankle. Natalia sent a few shots at her, likely hoping that in her pain she wouldn’t react or manipulate the projectiles, but they were sent back, and Natalia grunted as one hit her in the upper thigh and she forced Pepper and Vision to the side to get out of the way for the three others. 

The witch did fall, though, and Anton moved on top of her, wielding his boot knife expertly. He moved from where he had been near Barton to hold Rhodes back. The man fought him, struggled, but he couldn’t let Rhodes stop Anton. This would be a good thing, in the end. It wasn’t like she didn’t deserve it, right? 

“Go help the girls,” he said, purposely trying to get Rhodes out of the way. 

“What if he needs me?” Rhodey asked. 

“I’m here.” 

“That’s real reassuring,  _ you _ go help the girls!” He groaned and dragged Rhodes with him. He had a hand at the back of his neck. He hadn’t disliked Rhodes so much at first, but he was reassessing that now. He slipped under Vision’s arm where Natalia was, and then passed him to Rhodes. Pepper looked at him and nodded, and she got Rhodes to help her get Vision back to the house. She was enhanced, but Vision was made of solid metal, he was pretty heavy to carry, especially as deadweight. Pepper managed to get Rhodes to listen better than he did, but then again, who was stupid enough to disobey her? If Rhodes was Anton’s ‘dad friend’ than she was Anton’s ‘divine guardian friend.’ 

He kept an eye on Anton, looking at Rogers who was now actively fighting Wilson, although he pulled his punches, and Anton was probably more keen on torturing her, but they needed to eliminate her quickly. She was a loose cannon, the longer she was left alive and able, the more likely she would do something like this again. He helped Natalia sit on the floor. She pulled the knife from her leg holster. 

“You got it?” 

“Go deal with Steve, I’ll be fine,” she waved him away after that, and went to get the bullet out, before the wound healed over the bullet. James went to Wilson, easing him from the fight, and shoving his metal arm against Rogers’ shoulder and pressing him into the wall. He could keep him here like that. He was at a bad angle to see what was happening, though, so he turned his head to the side. Rogers could try and fight his arm, but this wouldn’t be damaged so easily. Wilson, now that he wasn’t engaged in a losing fight, slowly approached Anton. The witch was crying, and Anton had slammed one knife through her palm and into the ground, where he held her down, he looked absent, like there was no thoughts running through his mind, it was just… empty. 

“Hey, Tony, hey, look over here, alright? Just, she’s down, she’s not gonna hurt anyone anymore. Just, stand up, slowly, and walk away. She doesn’t need to die, she was wrong, and she’ll be punished, but her life, like Clint’s, wasn’t lowered in value. They are still people, even if they aren’t very nice. They still deserve a trial, they deserve justice, just like you deserve justice. They don’t need to die,” Wilson sidestepped Anton, taking caution to keep away from Anton, but also not too far away. He made his way around them and to Barton, who he hovered over more terrified than anything. 

“ _ Chto zhe mne delat’ _ (what should I do)?” Anton whispered. 

“ _ Ty znaesh’ chto delat’ _ (you know what to do),” he could tell him two things: kill her or let her live. One of those things would satisfy him, the other would irritate him, but the exact opposite went for Anton, who would be horrified if he actually killed someone again, at least someone like the witch (who James thought deserved no mercy). “ _ Pozvolit’ yey zhit’  _ (let her live).” Anton looked over at him for a second before he slammed his fist into her cheek, and she was knocked unconscious. He stood up, and James traded holding Rogers back to wrap his arms around Anton. He kissed the side of his head, and let Anton speak. 

“I was suspicious but… I couldn’t find any proof. I didn’t know how to help him, I should have done more,” Anton was nearly in tears. 

“What the hell? You  _ gutted _ him!” Rogers shouted, having run from check the witch to Barton. “FRIDAY, call an ambulance! What were you thinking? Why did you--” 

“He’s not dead yet, right? He can still heal. C’mon, let’s go make sure everyone’s alright. Natalia?” 

“ _ Ya vyzhivu _ (I’ll survive).” 

“Of course you will, but do you want some help getting home?” She nodded, and he left Anton for a moment to pick her up. He went back, and nudged Anton to walk ahead of him. They walked into the house, the doors locking behind them. It was so quiet, beside the sound of Natalia’s laboured breathing, that the door seemed to lock louder than it had before. Rhodes was on the couch, and Pepper picked Natalia from his arms and sat her on the couch before running off to get stuff to clean her up, if not the wound, then everything else. Vision was sitting on a chair, silent. His blue eyes were twitching, the pupils expanding and shrinking rapidly every other second, with the rest of his body was mostly rigid, his mouth half open, as if he were saying something and then  _ malfunctioned _ . 

Anton took a place beside Vision on the floor. He was holding one of his hands and staring with a similar blank look, this time his eyes were clouded by tears that had yet to fall (whether he as holding them back, or they were just lingering, James didn’t know). Pepper came back and stripped Natalia out of the pants she had been wearing and started to wipe the remaining blood from her skin. She cleaned off Natalia’s fingers and hands. It was silent, so quiet that it was uncomfortable. 

“What the hell just happened?” Rhodes asked, disturbing the silence. Pepper sighed, pushing the bloody wipes to the side. She handed Natalia a pair of sweats she had brought with her, and then moved on to clean Anton up. His face was covered in blood, his hands, he looked like he had just killed a lot of people. She didn’t speak, didn’t answer, but she wiped the blood from his face, and the hand that wasn’t holding Vision. She kissed his forehead and stood up. 

“Well, you saw what happened,” she finally said, “that witch, and that dumbass, were stopped.” 

“Yeah, Pep, I think I got that part,” Rhodes took a deep breath, while he had spoken with a calmness before, he descended into panicked shouting, “I’m talking about the new guy  _ gutting _ Hawkeye and Tones turning into  _ Rambo _ !” 

“Hey, quiet down, just a bit. I’ve never really seen something like this, I mean, the extent of what I’ve seen Tony do was limited to training fights, but… stories have been mentioned now and again, so I’m not too surprised he was capable of that,” Pepper stroked her thumb over Anton’s cheek before pulling Natalia to her feet. “You’ve been out of the loop, sorry, but you weren’t here when the big reveal happened. Let’s just….” 

“I can bring cake out.” 

Pepper said, “that would be nice,” at the same time Rhodes shrieked, “cake?!” James ignored him, running his fingers through Anton’s hair as he walked by and went to get the cake. While he was in the kitchen, he took a minute to cut the healed wound open to pull the arrowhead out of his stomach and was the drying blood off his abdomen. 

He came back with plates of cake and passed them around. Anton didn’t move, and James sat beside him on the floor. 

“Are we all just gonna eat cake like a  _ Matrix  _ scene didn’t just occur in the common room?” 

“Until he wants to talk, that’s exactly what we’re doing,” Natalia said. She shoved a piece of cake in her mouth. Rhodes seemed confused, but from what he’d heard, things had changed drastically since before he showed up, before Anton told Pepper, before everything happened, and Rhodes hadn’t been here since before that. This must have all been a shock to him, but James didn’t feel too bad about it. He could handle it, he was in the army, he had been in a war, he had fought against superpowered villains as War Machine, he should be used to this sort of crazy, or at least one would think so. 

“So I’m getting no explanation as to what the hell just happened? We’re just gonna stop talking and eat cake? And, excuse me, but last time I checked, this wasn’t really your house, this was for Pepper, Tony and I. I don’t know when you became chill enough to hang here, but the last time Tony and I talked, you were sort of on his shit list.” James was immediately on guard. Yes, he cared about Anton, yes, he loved Anton, but Natalia was still part of his family too. Just like the kids, like Claudia, Connor, and Levka, like Pepper. Rhodes had been gone for quite some time, he couldn’t just walk back into this place and expect everything to be the same. Pepper seemed to sit straighter too. Natalia just shrugged, like she’d heard it before, which she probably had. 

“Okay, Jim, I know this wasn’t really how it was the last time you were here, but things aren’t the same, things have changed drastically, but you’ll adjust soon enough. How long will you be staying again?” 

“Two months.” James suppressed a groan. 

“Then you’ll have plenty of time to adapt,” Pepper offered a smile, but Rhodes looked like he was rather unhappy with the idea of change. Which didn’t make sense, since he should be pretty used to it. He was friends with Anton, supposedly his best friend, which meant change was inevitable at any given time.

“How did I miss it? Why didn’t I try to find him harder? I should have known something was wrong when… he ignored us the entire dinner, didn’t even…” Anton was whispering, and it broke his heart because Anton sounded so hurt, “I said I would protect him, and I failed.” 

“Tones,” Rhodes said. 

“Antoshka,” James said at the same time. James took a deep breath, “you didn’t know then, but you know now, and you can offer him all the support in the world. You didn’t fail, you just ran into a wall, you can jump that wall. You didn’t fail, not even close.” 

“FRIDAY, can you notify me as soon as he’s online?” 

“ _ Of course I can. You’ll be the first to know; as soon as I do _ .” 

“Thank you, sweetheart.”  

“ _ And, I’m sorry about the bad news, but Mr. Barton has been taken to the hospital, as has Maximoff, and now Mr. Rogers would like to speak to Mr. James concerning the incident _ .” 

“Tell him I’m busy. He can deal with whatever he needs on his own.” 

“ _ He has told me to inform you that should you not come willingly, he will use force to speak with you. He will consider you hostile and react accordingly, is what he is threatening _ .” He didn’t want Rogers bursting into the house ever, but this was a time that was particularly bad. It was also a horrible time to leave Anton, but he didn’t want for him to see anything like he and Rogers fight. No, he’s had enough of that for the day. He looks up at Natalia and she nods. She turns to Pepper and tells her what he planned to do, Pepper nodded and stood up. He kisses Anton’s forehead. 

“I’ll be back as soon as I can,” he tried to sound reassuring, he hoped it was convincing. Pepper took his place on the floor beside Anton and he left, nodding again at Natalia. He left to seek out Rogers. He found him in the common room, still. He was hovering around, flitting back and forth from everything. Wilson was absent. 

“What do you need?” He asked. That seemed to startle Rogers who stopped moving and looked at him. Rogers got closer before he was standing in front of him. James crossed his arms. He needed to stop staring at him and just tell he what he needed so he could get home. 

“I need you to explain why, exactly, you felt it was necessary to gut Clint. But what has he done to you?” 

“Nothing. He’s done nothing to  _ me _ . But you know as well as I do that he loves to torture Tony and that is inexcusable. Perhaps he won’t lash out again. I was hoping he wouldn’t lash out ever again, but I’m sure he’ll survive with all of Tony’s money paying for his care, because last I checked you were all still using him like a personal bank account.” 

“You point out how horrible we are to Tony, but I don’t see you doing any different.” 

“No. I  _ am _ relying on Tony for money at the moment, but not forever. I want you to be sure that I am  _ very  _ capable of taking care of myself, and I don’t think I’d have the same issues with my  _ skill set _ as I used to have, or that  _ you _ would have. I also don’t see you taking care of Tony, pulling him out of his workshop so he can get rest, making sure he drinks enough water and consumes more than a pot of coffee during the day. Or treat him like a person worthy of attention and affection. Because you don’t do any of those things, because you don’t care about him.” 

“And you do?” 

“Yes. Why else would I bring it up?” James sighed, he didn’t want to deal with this. “Was that all you wanted to talk about?” 

“Bucky,” Rogers put his hands on his arms, and James looked down at them for a second, considering whether he should push him away or just try and relax. He decided it wouldn’t be worth the fight, that would only make things more complicated and it would delay his return. “I don’t know what’s happened to you. I know that deep down, beneath all of this anger and snark, is a really hurt, suffering, version of Bucky that has been through hell. I know that you think you’re a monster, and whatever has convinced you of it, probably Tony, was wrong. You don’t have to do bad things, you don’t  _ need _ to do them. I know we don’t talk about Tony, but he’s not  _ good for you _ . He’s going to hurt you, like he hurts everyone. Did you see what he did to Wanda? That could be  _ you _ ,” James pulled his arms out of Rogers’ hands and took several steps back. This is what he wanted to bring up? On the day where Anton was faced with a ‘best friend’ who didn’t seem to like the change, a child who was being hurt by the same witch who tortured him, on the day that should have been a wonderful and peaceful birthday? 

“He wouldn’t do that to me. There is no reason to--” 

“She hadn’t done anything wrong. Vision attacked her! He’d been talking to Tony again and you know--!” 

“You don’t know what you’re saying!” James said, and was only comforted a small bit when Rogers mouth slammed shut. “But then again, of course you’d take her word, right? Because she’s some sort of victim. What’s Anton? Hmm? What is he? Because he’s not the villain you think, and if he’s not a villain, if he isn’t a civilian, if he isn’t a hero, then what is he? Last time I checked, he  _ was _ the victim, and you are too busy demonizing him to realize that you’re taking the side of a true monster. Maximoff? Who do you think got rid of her practice targets? Who do you think had to hold her down when she decided to attack the doctors? Who do you think did the dirty work for her to play little Miss HYDRA? I took care of it, and she went on her merry way turning people’s brain into mush. She was praised, she enjoyed the praise, she enjoyed hurting people, yet she’s some sort of angel. I don’t understand how delusional someone has to be to actually believe her. She’s so obviously lying about everything that I’m not sure if you’re a complete idiot, under mind control, or just a worthless pushover because you always seem to believe her garbage!” Rogers got closer, and he held his hand out to keep him away, “Don’t. Don’t try to push this all away, don’t try to appeal to my humanity, Rogers. Today was not your day, today is a special day and you and your HYDRA wench decided to pull this bullshit, and now you’re demanding to speak to me as if you have any  _ right _ over what I do or don’t do. If I wanted to kill your stupid archer I would have. Luckily, I wanted him to suffer, be glad that he lives, next time I won’t be so merciful. And be glad Anton let her live, because if this  _ ever _ happens again, I won’t let it occur another time, because I will  _ execute _ her like the swine she is.” James took a breath, and pulled his hand back to straighten his jeans, he felt like he was ruffled, but outwardly his appearance probably appeared something closer to being upset as opposed to the way he was trying to dampen the rage inside him. He attacked and he had stopped when it was necessary. He just needed to not fight again for the day, he could do it, he just needed to get away from Rogers and closer to his family. 

“Bucky…” Rogers sighed, and his voice sounded broken. It only served to make him more upset. “You don’t _ mean _ that.” 

“Why else would I have said it? Unlike you, I don’t make a habit of lying.” 

“He’s bad for you.” 

“You’re bad for him, yet you’re still here. You’re like the water to his fire, while I’m the air that keeps the flames burning. I think if anyone here is worse for Anton, it’s you.” 

“You’re destructive! You’re going to do things you don’t want to do! You both are!” 

“Like what? What can we do that hasn’t already done? Break the world? Right, I’ll leave that to the girls. Break the Avengers? You’re doing a much better job yourself. Hurt you? I wish I could drive the metaphorical stake inside your chest, but even if I couldn’t give a damn about you, my Anton thinks you’re worth something. So maybe you should consider the fact you’re only here because he has asked for me to spare you, because I’d drop you so fast you wouldn’t even feel it… then again, I may just see how long your regeneration works before it just  _ gives out _ ,” James didn’t push Rogers away when he got closer again, mostly just hoping he gave him a reason to justify any violence. He had come wanting to resolve this, just to get it out of the way and get back to his home, to his family, but perhaps it would have just been easier to punch Rogers in the head and forced him into a hospital bed. It may have taken a few minutes to see how exactly he could hurt a super soldier bad enough to keep them out of the way, but he was sure it would have taken less time than the argument, so far, had. 

“Buck,” Rogers took a deep breath, “Please, please, please, just trust me. Trust me, if not for me, then for whatever part of you liked me back in the day. For whatever part still remains in there,” Rogers poked him above where his arms were crossed at his chest. The finger straightened and soon his hand pressed against his chest. 

There was no part of that kid left, he never really existed did he? There was always something in him that liked things he shouldn’t have, he was always wanting to do what he did now, to be who he was now. He would have prefered less torture under HYDRA, and more time working for the Soviet Union, and later Russia, but he was good now. He had a life he liked, for the most part (the most part doesn’t include the torture, because even he couldn’t enjoy that). 

He pulled back as soon as a hand wrapped around his head and lips touched his own. No, he wasn’t dealing with this, not today, not ever. 

“I loved you! I still love you. Doesn’t that mean anything? Nothing? Does everything mean nothing to you?” 

“How can you truly love someone who never existed?” James wiped his face, just because it felt wrong, everything felt  _ wrong _ . “If that’s all, then I’m gonna leave you to your whining.” 

“You listen to Tony’s whining!” 

“ _I love_ _him_ ,” James went to leave. He made a damn good dramatic exit, nearly as awesome as his dramatic entrances, he thought, but Rogers grabbed his arm. James grabbed it back and pulled his knee up and snapped his arm at the elbow. He turned and left. He had nothing left to say, and if he stayed much longer, he probably would attack just because he was so frustrated. He regulated his breathing as he walked, regulating just about everything else from beating of his heart to how much force and weight would be used each time he took a step. He walked back into the house, into his home. Everyone was still sitting there, there was a screen pulled up. One that looked very much like the ones he used to spy on the Avengers with. They were in the same places as before, but their eyes moved, slowly, from the screen where Rogers was holding his head with one hand and crying, it looked like that at least, to him. 

“I thought you’d just kill him,” Natalia said eventually. Breaking the silence. There was a sharp whirr, and then a quick, sharp inhale. Vision’s body faded through the couch until he was standing, solid again. He assumed a somewhat defensive position, and quickly looking around he relaxed. 

“ _ Da, Vision’s back online _ .” 

“Thanks baby girl. You’re the best,” Anton sounded happier than he looked. “Vision?” 

“I… don’t remember what happened, and I’m currently going through my records, but I cannot recall a very long period of time, it’s… like a very poor quality video replaced my normal records, and… I don’t know what happened,” he looked around, “the date is May twenty-ninth of two-thousand-sixteen? My last clear memory was nearly ten months ago, in August. The morning you and Ms Romanova joined us for the morning meal… it is your birthday, you are thirty-two. FRIDAY is currently sending me the video of what happened earlier,” Vision froze, and Anton was on his feet, and holding Vision’s shoulders, “I-I-I… I thought I loved her, but she… none of this was supposed to happen.” 

“Hey, Vis, buddy, you’re fine now. FRI would have alerted us if anyone was dead, so they’re still alive, so don’t worry about them. They’ll be fine, but honestly I don’t care about them. How are you? Is everything working properly? 

“Yes, I am physically optimal. I fear that beyond that, I am not currently aware, but I do know that I would like to not go back to see the Avengers or Ms Maximoff again for a very long time, if not forever. Would you mind if I stay here?” 

“Of course you can stay here! You don’t even need to ask. This is your home too. You can have my room, I don’t really use it anymore--” 

“Because of your love interest that FRIDAY had mentioned?” 

“Yeah, because of him. I don’t have any spare rooms, I mean, I built it with two extra bedrooms for guests, but then Tasha and James moved in, so now you can take my room, third floor on the left side.” 

“Would you mind if I went there now? I feel like I should… rest?” 

“No. You can do anything and everything you need, alright. Just, keep me updated, please,” Anton touched Vision’s wrist before he drifted away, “and, uh, I’m sorry.” 

“There is nothing you could have done, and there was no way for you to be absolutely sure something was wrong.” 

“I’m here if you need me, for anything, I’m here,” Vision nodded and thanked him before he drifted up the stairs, not walking but not phasing through the floors like James was aware he could do. Anton stared at the stairs for a while, before he turned to look at where he stood. “I’m sorry.” 

“There’s nothing to be sorry for. You didn’t do anything wrong,” Pepper held out a plate of cake for him, “I know that you are probably blaming every single thing on yourself, and none of it’s your fault. Here,” she moved him, gently, to the chair Vision had been on and coaxed him to sit down. Pepper took a place, sitting on the arm of the chair, and Anton stared at the cake for a moment before lifting the fork with a bite to his mouth. He ate, radiating both his anger and sadness, and James wanted to hug him, but… he felt guilty. 

“I know this is probably… probably not the best time, but I need two more pieces of cake, at least. We were supposed to have fun,” Anton said. He looked up at everyone, his eyes roamed around the room. “Let’s try to just make the rest of the day awesome.” 

James brought the entire cake out into the living area and when he set it on the coffee table, everyone moved to the floor and started to eat it from the dish with their forks. That worked. Rhodes didn’t move to the floor, though. He was staring at them. He could see Anton trying to move his eyes anywhere but at him, and it hurt. He really didn’t mean for anything to happen. Rogers was an idiot! He ruined everything all the time. He should just finish his last mission, ever, as the Asset and kill him. He decided not to, because if he was going to kill Rogers, it would be because he wanted to, not because of an order from his past ‘owners’. 

“Come on, Rhodey-bear, join the cake circle. We’ll talk about whatever you need to talk about. I’m sure you’re confused.” 

“You bet your ass I’m confused. What the fuck was that, Tones?” Rhodes got on the floor and poked at the cake with his fork, but didn’t really eat anymore. James’ eye twitched. He was mauling his cake. Did he know how much time it took when he had the kids help? It doubled, maybe tripled, the time it took to make things. “Last time I checked, you couldn’t do that. Not outside the suit.” Anton gave a bitter laugh and then shoved another forkful of cake in his mouth. He used that as a reason to not talk. To have time to come up with an answer. 

“Would you believe me if I told you I was trained to be a super spy-slash-assassin by the same people who trained Nat?” 

There was a long pause. Or at least it felt long. James was tense and nervous. They hadn’t factors Rhodes into the equation, ever. They probably should have, but he didn’t really know much about him, and it wasn’t like he knew Rhodes would be so interested in Anton, or he would see him in action during his visit. 

“The worst part of all this, is that I believe you. Jesus Christ, why didn’t you tell me?” 

“Tell you how? I wasn’t planning on telling anyone, ever, but Natasha… she said she saw the Winter Soldier, and I… knew him, back then. He taught us how to fight, how to kill,” Anton looked at James for the first time in an eternity. “And I missed him, and realized that Natasha would, out of everyone, be able to understand what it was like the most to be trained like that. To be able to do that, to have done things like that… after Ultron we found him, and we brought him back here. He happens to be the same guy that Captain America was best friends with back in the forties, so that complicated things. Steve just found out that he was here a month and a half ago.” 

“Am I ever gonna understand whatever it is between you two?” Rhodes motioned to him and Anton. 

“Well, it’s not complicated on the surface, but… no, probably not.” 

From Anton, Rhodes seemed to accept that answer. From him, James knew that Rhodes wouldn’t accept an answer like that. He loved Anton, obviously, and he had taken care of him when he was on his own. That, perhaps, should give Rhodes at least a few more minutes of time before he completely judges him and dislikes him. He watched as Pepper got up to stand by Natalia. They whispered and then they were excusing themselves to bring out the gifts. 

“Surprise! I got you a watch,” Rhodes said and Anton pouted before Rhodes laughed. “Just kidding. Do you think I would I really do that to you? No. I got you some classified documents you might find interesting,” Rhodes went to grab them, and Anton slowly got out of the chair and went to where he was on the floor, on the side of the coffee table without any chairs, where the TV was mounted behind him. He got down on his knees and then looked at his hands. 

“Did you mean that? Everything you said to Steve?” 

“Of course. I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it,” he reached out and cupped Anton’s cheek. His face was warm, and he had plenty of tear tracks from after the incident and after James left to deal with the main pest. He pressed a kiss to his cheek, swiping his thumb over the tacky tear tracks. “I love you. I want you to know that.” 

“Okay,” Anton said. He looked like he wanted to cry again, and James pressed their foreheads together. Anton put his hands on his shoulders. “You know that I love you too, right?” James kissed him in response. He was well aware, but he didn’t want to ‘pull a Han Solo.’ And then Levka came bolting down the stairs, running into the couch before he got right between them and pawed for attention. Anton pet Levka, picking him up and holding him against his chest. Levka made a whining noise before licking all over Anton’s face. “ _ Lyezhat. Lyezhat!  _ (down),” Levka decided to move onto James next and James stopped him from drooling on him, but Levka was perfectly content to snuggle in his lap if he wasn’t allowed to slobber on his face. James would prefer Anton there, but he needed room to open gifts, and Levka was a spoiled puppy who got whatever he wanted (and that wasn’t about to stop anytime soon). 

Natalia came down with Pepper. They were balancing gifts in their arms, and Pepper was noticeably more graceful than before. James knew that Natalia could do it, but Pepper went from a typical CEO with standard self defense training, to a graceful fighter, like Natalia. He hadn’t seen or known Natalia and Pepper before they found him, before he was offered a new chance, again. But Anton was right when he said they were meant to be together. 

As soon as gifts were set on the table, Natalia started to hand them to Anton. Rhodes came down with a manilla folder full of things that Anton shouldn’t really have access to, but now did. (But, honestly, it was just safer for Anton to be given restricted information on paper rather than break into the Pentagon or something like that, even if he hadn’t been caught doing it yet). 

Out of respect, James had started to block out whispering, as he had done earlier, because he didn’t want to know things that people obviously didn’t want him to hear, so he made plenty of noise, enough to keep him from hearing or focusing on them (although with more effort, he could ignore it without that) and played with Levka who had been given a bite of cake and promptly tried to drink the liquor being passed around before James held him to him and stopped him from trying to steal from their good supply. The high quality stuff that they didn’t always drink simply to save it for special occasions. (And if Rhodes looked at Anton oddly when he was drinking and drinking more without getting ‘drunk,’ then he just confirmed that he knew about Anton’s secret past, but not his enhancements. Which was good to know.) 

Natalia stepped away, and Anton purposely angled to keep whatever was in the box away from him. James didn’t try to see it either, although he knew that it was meant to be hidden from the rest of them. He wondered what it was, but if Anton’s reaction, abruptly hugging Natalia and then kissing her cheek, was anything to go by, he liked whatever it was. Soon, though, the day’s hectic events caught up with everyone, and Pepper was the first to say she was going to bed, but she would be awake early to spend time with him in recompense for the morning’s lag at the airport and the incident following it. Natalia went off not too much later after that, and she left with a wink and a call to Levka to join her and the cats for the night. Levka trotted off behind her a happy camper. He was so spoiled, but, damn, he was just so adorable. Rhodes left with a promise with the promise that the next two months would be spent ‘like old times.’ 

“Do you wanna go upstairs?” Anton asked. 

“Sure. Let me put the stuff in the kitchen away real quick. You head up without me, I’ll be right behind you.” 

He did go to the kitchen to put away the extra frosting, and wiped down the countertops quickly. Maybe he was a ‘neat freak’ but honestly it was so satisfying to see that the kitchen was clean for anyone who couldn’t sleep to feel free to relax there. Nightmares weren’t uncommon, and while they were all sleeping better, Natalia was typically with Pepper, and James at least tried to get Anton to sleep with him, even if it resulted in waking up multiple times during the night, at least Anton got some sleep. He worked so hard, and didn’t even realize how long or tiring it had been since he was so lost in whatever went through his head when he was in the workshop. Too many things went through his head, that’s why it was so difficult for him to sleep or relax without something to keep him there. Something - or rather someone - like James. 

When he went upstairs, he saw Anton was already under the blankets, and he was on his back, holding his phone up over his face. He looked at him for a second when he walked into the room, before focusing back on the device. James pulled his shirt off and sat on the bed to untie his boots. This part was almost routine. He would take off his shirt, untie his boots, exchange his jeans for comfortable lounge pants and then he would do something similar for Anton but with more kissing and moaning. Of course, this didn’t happen every night, and therefore wasn’t truly a routine, but it happened often enough. Some nights Anton would go upstairs and fall asleep before he had a chance to take his jeans off, or wash the grease off his arms. Most nights were in between both of those things. Just getting undressed and going to sleep. One of the only things that stayed consistent was the fact that James was always the ‘big spoon’ because Anton was always the ‘little spoon.’ 

Following that semi-routine, he exchanged his jeans for soft lounge pants and got under the blankets. Anton put his phone on the bedside table and on the charger. Even he couldn’t escape the necessity of charging his phone, even if he wanted to find a new way to do so (it was something he often grumbled about when he had to charge it). 

This night was different, since Anton rolled on his side to face him. 

“Are you tired?” Anton asked. 

“Have something beside sleeping on mind?” James had said they would have more birthday sex, but that was before the mess in the common room went down. 

“Well, yes, but if you’re too tired, we don’t have to do anything. You did get shot today. Don’t think I didn’t notice you jumping in front of an arrow. Stupid, but thank you for that. I know it was meant for me.” 

“I’d do it again. Look, not even a mark,” he pointed to where the arrow hit him. There wasn’t a mark, not even a little scar to let him know that it had hit him. It took a little bit more to actually leave a mark, it had to be some continuous damage that even the serum couldn’t heal quick enough. It also didn’t take a genius to notice what Anton was getting at, but his genius seemed to be more cautious than usual. His caution made James nervous because what was there to be cautious about? Was it about that little stunt Rogers pulled? 

Only a moment later, just a millisecond after his thought of Anton’s hesitation, Anton pushed him on his back and kept him down with his legs on either side of his hips. That wasn’t even the most glorious thing to have happened, because Anton wasn’t in his tank top and sweats either, he was in… well, James felt stupid for not noticing it before then. Of course Anton had been under the blankets, but so had he. 

Anton was wearing lingerie. Or at least that’s what it seemed like. It looked… tailored for him though, not like something bought for a woman which would look odd over a man’s body. It fit him nicely and was surprisingly attractive. Of course Anton could wear a trash bag and James would still think he was attractive (it was just high fashion!). But that was because his Antoshka always looked good, even sleep deprived and covered in motor oil. But now he was dressed in scarlet lace. It wasn’t overdone, it was classy. It was odd that James could classify things as classy and not sound like an idiot in his head. He wore something over his chest, it wasn’t a bra, those were for women, and yes, Anton had always been flamboyant at best, but he was still a man, and whatever he wore fit close against his skin. His legs were covered in stockings of a similar colour. They ended with tight bands of lace high on his thighs, and he wore… panties? That’s what they’re called, right? 

No matter what the terms were, it wasn’t like that mattered. What mattered was that Anton looked beautiful, but he also looked nervous. Anton lifted his hand to his chest. 

“It’s not… ugly is it? I thought it looked nice. Pretty, actually. But, I mean, if you don’t--” 

“I like it,” he held Anton’s hips, “I really like it. I was taking it in and didn’t realize how quiet I had gotten.” Anton seemed to accept that answer, even though James really wanted to let Anton know that even if he hadn’t liked it, he shouldn’t be wearing it to please him, that was a bonus, but he hoped he thought he looked good, that he liked it too. 

He ran his thumbs over Anton’s hipbones for a second before moving to hold himself in a position where he could comfortably kiss Anton, but hold him as well. He managed with his flesh arm against the bed, and his metal arm resting against Anton’s lower back. He did as Anton desired, or at least what he seemed to desire that night which was more possessive, more demanding than it could sometimes be. Anton pulled back, nipping his bottom lip as he backed away. 

He switched their positions. He rested Anton beside him. He kept his touches soft, for now, because that is what Anton deserved. He was precious, and while Anton would likely argue that he wasn’t fragile, it wasn’t entirely true. Also, it felt nice to take care of Anton. It made him feel needed and useful. 

James moved so he could settle himself between Anton’s legs. Anton’s knees pressed against either side of his hips and reached up to hold the back of his neck. For leverage. Anton pulled him down for long but rough kisses. It was rushed and desperate, like a man drinking water after being burned alive in the desert for days. The worst part was that Anton knew how that felt too, didn’t he? 

“I want bruises,” Anton said, “give them to me?” 

How could he deny such a request? He was content with leaving hickeys that lasted for more than a few seconds once he pulled away, but Anton forced his hips up, which had James holding them down. That would leave bruises too, but nothing that would last too long. He eventually moved his hand from Anton’s hips. He kissed down his chest, brushing over the fabric there. He did kiss his hip bones, because they were cute and offered, and he kissed the insides of his thighs before pulling the panties to the side. He held his thigh. Anton’s hands found their way to his hair, which he could admit would always garner a positive reaction. 

Once he got situation, lips around Anton’s cock, he didn’t hold his hip down. Anton was gentle, too. At first. And James could take the harsh way that his mouth and throat were being fucked. He could feel tears in his eyes, which didn’t happen all too often, and when Anton stopped thrusting forward, rather he was straining as his cock pulsed against James’ tongue. James took what he was given, because that’s just what they did. He pushed himself up, holding himself up with his arms. Anton’s fingers uncurled in his hair and then dropped to hold his cheeks. One thumb brushed the tears away from his eye while the other hand caressed his cheek. It was all very loving.  

“I love you. I really do,” Anton said. He flipped over to his side and moved up the bed and back to where he could rest beside Anton. 

“I love you, too,” he brushed his lips against Anton’s cheek. He moved and kissed him again, reaching up to hold his cheek. “Let me hold you?” 

They got back under the covers, Anton tossed the contraption around his torso off, but otherwise kept everything else on.  

James did as he did every night and wrapped his arms around Anton, and Anton relaxed against him. He closed his eyes. He really hoped Anton knew how much he loved him, and he really hoped that tomorrow will be a better day. He deserved better on his birthday, and things had gone sort of horrible with the other Avengers. Hopefully they salvaged things adequately. 

He had never meant anything more than when he told Anton he loved him. He did love him, and perhaps it should be awkward because of the age difference, because of the initial authoritative position he had been in, but it wasn’t. Not for him, and he hoped it wasn’t for Anton either. His absolutely wonderful Antoshka. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is over THIRTEEN THOUSAND words (on it's own) so I'm gonna hope that tides you all over for at least a few more weeks.


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